Confidential

by Jack Parker

  "Heidi, there are some things that just are not appropriate to tell you."

  I glared at her. She was probably the most unhelpful person I had ever encountered. I had questions: she couldn't give me a little bit of information?

  Anna sighed, and played with the food left on her plate. "I'll try to answer whatever you want to know the best I can. You've been good about this, I know how hard it must be…"

  "Have they caught anybody yet? What about this whole meet and greet at the border thing? I don't get it, when exactly is that going to happen, and how does the police even know about it, besides me?"

  Anna put out a hand to let me know that was enough. " The police have people working undercover, and have other sources. We have found out a little, and knew what they were planning to do, but you let us know how they were going to execute it. They are going to pay the truck drivers to take the shipment somewhere else, we believe, that or take it by force. We know where the shipment will be coming in, so we will have a tail on the trucks."

  "And when will that happen?"

  Anna shook her head, "I don't know. They won't give that information out lightly."

  "And what about Mickey? And Greco and James? Have they been caught?"

  "No. I'm sorry Heidi. As soon as they are I will let you know. It shouldn't take too much longer. She has escaped the police for over 13 years, the police are doing their best, and are closer than they have ever been, thanks to your help."

  I looked away, a little embarrassed by my question, "Can I please talk to my parents?"

  Anna's sympathy was a bit overwhelming, and she reached out and patted my hand. "I am so sorry. But we can't risk it. If they find out you're in hiding, then they will know that the police are on to them, it would jeopardize everything."

  What was I supposed to say? I felt weak, weak that I even missed my nagging, shopaholic mother, and my aloof businessman of a father. I even missed doing the stupid, mindless activities me and my friends had done on the weekends. I vaguely wondered if Emma had found the perfect fall sweater she wanted, or how Katie was doing in school volleyball. But I knew Anna was right, things would never be the same. Even when I go back to Phoenix, it will never be like it was, the previous, careless life I had led would forever be plagued by the fear ever present, lingering in the back of my mind, or the slight paranoia I got every time I ended up being alone.

  I sighed, and rubbed my temples, "What do I do?" I asked, whether to myself or Anna I did not know, but I didn't receive an answer.

  Over the next couple days, I just couldn't shake my mood, and although I tried my best to hide it, especially from Camdon, it was almost impossible.

  One lunch was particularly quiet, and was filled solely with Marcus cracking obnoxious jokes, none of which could bring out any laughter from me. I could feel both Dylan and Marcus' eyes on me, especially when Marcus made fun of Clarissa, one of my favorite people to bash.

  Marcus, with his mouth full of notella and peanut butter sandwich, asked "What's up your ass lately?" Such a gentleman, that one.

  "What do you mean?" I reluctantly picked at the chilled vegetables Anna had prepared for me.

  "You have been silent for almost two days now." He raised an eyebrow, "If I didn't know better, I would say that hell had froze over."

  "Funny." I scoffed, and threw a slice of zucchini his way.

  "Hey," He glared, indignant, "Don't throw your fancy vegetables at me."

  This got a smile out of me, and Dylan and Marcus instantly began cheering, "Finally!" Dylan gave me a sympathetic smile, and in a whisper added, "I'm coming over tonight, so be prepared to spill. Is it about Camdon?"

  I could feel the shock come across my face, but quickly hid it as the devil himself strolled over to say hello.

  Dylan watched us throughout our entire interaction and continued to question me about it during anatomy class. I lazily filled in the names of different muscles as my mind wandered from the investigation, to Camdon, to my family, and to the diagram I was staring at now.

  "So, how often do you guys hang out?" My mind zoned back to reality, back from Arizona to Iowa, as I barely registered what he was saying.

  "What?" I asked, momentarily confused.

  "Something's different about you two." He smiled coyly.

  I shrugged, trying to pass it off as nothing, but my heart began to speed up. Did he really think so?

  "What do you mean?" I asked, trying not to sound eager, but Dylan looked right through me.

  "You've been here what, a couple weeks? And he acts more comfortable around you than he does with the people he's known his entire life." Dylan shook his head with a smile, "Something definitely happened."

  A bit of happiness radiated inside me, the only good feeling I had felt in a while. "He's like that to everyone." I rolled me eyes, trying to be blasé, "Maybe I'm just his latest fad." My heart sunk a little as I spoke my own doubts.

  Dylan frowned. "No, no this time is definitely different. I've seen him go through enough girls." He scrambled to explain after seeing a look cross my face. "Camdon is a really good guy, but he's different with you. He isn't constantly around you, but he's always watching you… I don't know it's hard to explain."

  "I don't know what was creepier, what you just said, or the fact that you noticed." I smirked.

  Dylan scoffed. "Honey, everyone's noticed it."

  I grew silent, and watched as Clarissa blatantly texted through out class, letting out obnoxious giggles and showing the girl in front of her the received messages. Dylan followed my gaze.

  "Perfect example," He said. "Clarissa not only had his fascination for a couple weeks, but also managed to snag the title of girlfriend. Even though everyone knows she's a brat, he wanted to see what she was really like, and then got bored of her."

  This did nothing to help me. I was new to this town, to this school. Obviously, if Camdon has a history of just exploring before he got bored, then what was I doing playing this game?

  Anna came home one day, thoroughly distracted, and walked right past Dylan and me. Her pretty face was condensed into a frustrated frown, and she threw down her work bag, grabbed her phone and walked right out of the room.

  "Whoa." Dylan raised an eyebrow at me. "What's up with that?"

  My mind instantly honed in on all the things it could possible be, and practically went crazy, working into overdrive.

  "I don't know…" I said, distracted.

  "Your parents are on a sabbatical?" He asked.

  It startled me out of my thoughts. "Yeah. Kind of like a second honey moon." The lies rolled easily off my tongue.

  "So, what are they like?" He asked.

  "My parents?" I blurted out in disbelief. "Why?"

  He shrugged. "You never talk about them."

  "It's not always on our topic of conversation." I laughed lightly, trying to steer away from this one.

  "Yeah… but we know that Marcus' parents think he's going to jail and have given up hope, and you know how neurotic my father is about my grades, but I never hear you mention yours. I mean I know you live with Anna and all, but still."

  If I didn't like Dylan so much, I would have told him to leave my house for being so nosy. I couldn't help the irritation at being questioned about my parents, but seeing him subconsciously fiddle with something at the table, and the nervous tendencies that always escaped, I couldn't help but grow soft.

  "I like them, as far as parents go." I spoke honestly. "I like them a lot more now that I'm gone actually, I didn't realize how much until now. They're still annoying as hell though." I added as an after thought, "But they're not like yours or Marcus'."

  "How so?" He asked.

  I leaned back against my chair, curling my legs up against my chest. "Well… it's hard to explain, but they always let me have my independence. I don't think they wanted children really, I just kind of happened. Not to say they don't adore me, they totally do."

  "So basically, you're really spoiled." Dylan laughed. />
  "A little." I cracked a smile.

  Dylan opened his mouth to say something else, but Anna burst into the living room and instantly began rummaging through stacks of folders and pulled out a file.

  "No." She said over the phone curtly. "Everything is fine here."

  We could hear the harsh tone of the person on the other line.

  "Don't you dare blame me for your mistakes! I've been here this whole time." Anna's eyes widened as she saw us and briskly walked past us outside to the backyard.

  "Maybe I should go…" Dylan gingerly crept to the door while I followed Anna outside. After searching for several minutes, I finally found her pacing at the side of our house.

  I was just getting close enough to hear more than bits of the conversation when I heard the doorbell ring. I sighed and went back inside.

  Thoroughly irritated at whoever it was that had drawn me away from Anna's conversation, I yanked open the door to look up at Camdon.

  His eyes never failed to captivate my attention, and the relaxed position his toned body always took made his feel-good attitude almost contagious.

  Almost.

  "Can I help you with something?" My voice sounded tired and slightly annoyed even to my own ears.

  For the first time in a while he wasn't all grins and smiles. "Are you okay?"

  "I'm fine." I answered curtly, feeling guilty about my attitude, Camdon being the last person on the planet to deserve it.

  "My mom wanted to know if we could borrow your cooking thermometer, apparently, you can't make good turkey without it." He sounded a little annoyed himself.

  I couldn't help but smile at the normalcy of this life. I opened the door a little wider and let him in.

  "Here I'll go look for it." I was ever aware of how close Camdon walked to me, and how intense his eyes were.

  I turned around and I leaned against the counter, tilting my head to the side as I tried to think of where we kept a cooking thermometer, when Camdon took a step forward, tilting his head so his eyes could stare directly at mine, and putting one arm on either side of me. His fingers stroked my arm lightly, coming up to play with my hair.

  A smile slowly formed on my lips. "How am I supposed to look for a thermometer, if I can't get out of this little position?" I teased.

  He leaned a little closer, lightly pressing his body against mine. Dipping his face down to my lips, he confidently asked, "Do you want to get out of this position?"

  I took a moment to steady my breath; two could play this game. I took my hands and slowly ran them up his arms, and wound them around his neck. I gave him a sly smile and pressed myself against him, my smile widening as I felt him tense. "That depends."

  "On?" He asked, the strain in his voice evident.

  I shrugged my shoulders, and leaned away from him, but he put his hands on my hips, pulling me back towards him. He rested his head in the crook of my neck and I could feel the deepness of his voice with each word he spoke, "I like you Heidi Risler."

  My breath caught, but not for the reason he thought. He pressed his lips to my neck and I felt him smile. I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation he had on my body, and focused on the way his lips moved up my neck until finally reaching my own lips. I wound my hands into his hair and pulled myself closer, deepening the kiss, wishing to forget everything else, when he slowly pulled away, resting his forehead against mine.

  "What are you doing next Saturday?" He asked, our closeness making it hard to focus.

  I opened my eyes and looked at him, wishing to tell him that I would be waiting impatiently around the house, trying to hound out information from Anna. "Nothing." I answered instead.

  He grinned, "Perfect. Clarissa is having a Jacuzzi party, and I really don't want to go alone."

  I raised an eyebrow. Going somewhere with Camdon wouldn't be so bad. And going with him would drive Clarissa insane. Double bonus.

  "It's the end of October." I frowned

  "That's the best time to go, when everything is cold, and the Jacuzzi is so warm."

  "Alright." I agreed, moving away from him so I wasn't tempted to continue to kiss him, Anna was still somewhere around the house. "Now help me find this thing for your mom."

  I began opening random drawers, while Camdon just leaned against the wall, arms folded over his chest, with a cocky smile on his face.

  "What?" I glared at him.

  "You like me."

  I rolled my eyes, "Obviously." I added, on second thought, "You could make a good friend, I guess."

  He raised his eyebrows, "Is that what friends do? Because if so, why don't we just become best friends." I threw an oven mitt at him, which did nothing but make him laugh.

  I yanked open a drawer, and instantly closed it, but it was too late.

  "What the hell was that?" Camdon was instantly at my side as I stepped in front of the drawer.

  "What was what?" I asked innocently.

  He gently pulled me away and opened the drawer for himself. "Holy shit Heidi. Who keeps a gun unlocked in a house? Is this thing loaded?"

  Seeing the gun in his hand made me a little dizzy, and I had to take deep breaths to calm myself down. I hated when Anna took out those guns in the morning, I had never had a problem with them before, but after Mickey, I never realized how quickly they could end a life.

  I pulled myself together and silently took the gun from his hands and put it back in the drawer, and grabbed the thermometer that was coincidently next to it, and placed it where the gun had been in his hands.

  Camdon just stared at me in disbelief. "Do you know how dangerous that is? Its just sitting in your kitchen drawer."

  I tried to rack my brain to come up with a solid explanation, but simply shook my head. "It's just me and Anna around here, and she leaves them around the house just in case."

  "Just in case of what?" He frowned, the skepticism clearly written on his face.

  "A burglar." My voice had finality to it, demanding that there were to be no more questions.

  Camdon, however, did not receive the message, "People don't even lock their doors here, you're not living in a city anymore," He smirked "and I hardly think you lived anyplace that wasn't a wealthy area."

  I stood firmly, giving him a completely blank stare, trying to mask my irritation. "Camdon." He looked at me. "If I don't want to tell you something, I won't. So stop prying."

  He sighed and leaned towards me, taking my hand. "I know there is something bothering you, I can see it. You can trust me. Come on, I told you about my mother."

  If this was meant to be comforting, it was anything but. I yanked my hand from his, "Is the only reason you told me anything because you thought I would tell you some huge secret in return?" I demanded.

  "No, it wasn't like that." He tried to speak to me calmly but I just shook my head at him, and took a step back.

  "Not every person is going to have some tragic back story. Did you ever think that maybe I just miss my parents? Miss my friends?" I was lying, but it was anything to get him off the subject. "Do you remember how you told me people couldn't deal with the fact that you were just normal? Have you ever thought about taking your own advice for once, and maybe considering that I'm here with my Aunt, missing my old life in Phoenix?"

  I could tell that what I had said stung, but he wasn't one to back down. "Actually I have, and it doesn't add up."

  "What are you talking about?" I glared.

  "Why are there no family photos around? Why do you never hear from your parents? Why do you look absolutely nothing like Anna?"

  "You sound ridiculous. And a little crazy. Please shut up, and… and get out of my house." I said curtly.

  He blinked. "Are you serious?"

  "You sound psychotic. Do you hear yourself? Now leave." I was at a breaking point, and if he didn't leave now, I was going to freak out in front of him. "We just moved in, so excuse me if we don't have family photos. And I don't know why my parents don't bother to check in that much." I could see guilt pla
y across his face, so I ran with it. "Its not easy being here you know. Why would I want to talk about it all the time, if it would just make me feel worse?"

  I tried to look as calm as possible, but internally, I was barely holding it together.

  He ran a hand through his hair. "Look, Heidi, I'm sorry. Maybe you're right. All I know is something is bothering you. I just wanted to be there for you like you where for me, that's all." He gently gave me a hug before leaving quietly.

  As soon as I heard the door shut, I sprinted upstairs and into Anna's room.

  "ANNNNNA!" I yelled, more than a little panicked. "ANNA!" I ran back downstairs only to find her instantly at my side.

  "What is it? Is everything alright? Did you see someone?" She began berate me with questions, and pulled out a gun stashed somewhere on her body.

  "No." I shook my head, "Camdon knows."

  Anna's eyes hardened. "How." It wasn't a question; it was a demand.

  "He's really perceptive. He called me out on the weirdest shit. Like the fact that we don't have family pictures, and I was looking for something for his mom, and we found one of your guns…" I looked at her with desperation "Its too easy to figure us out."

  "Is he still suspicious?" She asked, completely calm.

  "No." I sighed at the memory. "I guilt tripped him into thinking I was just really bothered by my family never calling and that he sounded like a lunatic."

  "Stick to that." Anna said. "Everyone in this town has a completely clean background, so there is no way he is connected, he's just smart. If you stick to your story, you'll be fine."

  At this, Anna rushed off, her mind obviously preoccupied. My mind began to spin, the worrying had seeped into every pour of my body, and the feeling of being alone would not escape me.

  I just needed to forget. I needed to forget it all. The waiting, the worrying, the mystery behind Anna, being kept in the dark, I couldn't live like this. I grabbed my jacket, and slipped out the front door, and found myself walking to the one place I thought would bring me solace.