Finding Nova

by Belle Harper

  I pulled her to my chest. She was lighter than I thought she would be. We really needed to get some food into her.

  “I won’t drop her,” I muttered back. Why did he always think that I couldn’t do stuff? Yeah okay, I was younger than him and Colt, but I was bigger than them both and stronger. I looked down at her, her hair was so pretty. She was beautiful and in my arms.

  In the upstairs bedroom, I waited for Ez to bring the mattress up so I could lay her down again. The other mattresses in here were singles, and I wanted to have an excuse to lie next to her again.

  I looked down to her. Her face looked so peaceful. What’s her name? Should we give her a name while she is sleeping? Her head lolled to the side exposing her neck to me. She really could use a bath. That was the one reason we hadn’t left this place yet; there was a well outside with unlimited clean water. So, we all took a bath once a week. The clothes she wore were a baggy men’s shirt and pants. Maybe I could wash her and her clothes so when she woke up, she could feel refreshed.

  “Here, lay her down. Let’s get more water into her. I think we will need to give her some every hour. I’m not exactly sure how to do this. I am just trying to think what my mom would do,” Ezra explained. His mom lasted five years past the flare. Until she was raped and murdered. Colt said that was when he took Ezra in. Took care of him. Ez never talked about his mom. So, this was a first.

  I spread her out on the middle of the stained mattress. And helped Ez give her some water, which she swallowed. Oh wow, she is drinking still. This was good.

  “Maybe a broth?” I tried to think back to when I was little, and my mom got NEX. My dad made a broth. He showed me how to feed it to her, not that it did any good. But it was better than nothing.

  “Shit, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that,” Ezra cursed himself.

  I reached over to cup his shoulder. “Don’t stress, Ezra. I only just thought of it. It’s not like we are experienced in unconscious girls. I think we should give her a bath,” I quickly added, hoping to see what his thought on that would be.

  His eyes flew up to mine. And back to the girl lying there. “No. We can’t do that. She might think we did more than wash her. I don’t want her waking up and... I want to keep her,” he admitted. He hung his head and held her delicate hand in his large calloused one.

  I picked up some of her hair between my fingers. It was so pretty. I nodded. I didn’t know much about girls. They were all practically wiped out when I was five. But I did know there were some left out there, and those that had been affected by the NEX virus always had a full head of snow-white hair. Some men that had been affected had some hair color change. Some got the rare eye color change, too, like Ezra had. And most men had nothing at all to show that they had been a survivor of NEX. Like Colt and me.

  “Maybe I can wash her face and hands?” I asked him. I felt like this was a more reasonable thing to do, I never thought about the fact she would have to be naked to wash her. He nodded and I left to gather bath supplies.

  While I washed the dirt from her small delicate hand, I thought of the man she was with. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, and how I couldn’t find him in the storm. She was going to wake up and ask about him, and I know we didn’t have good news to give her. Ezra stood up and made his way to the window for watch. When he turned to me with that look on his face, it told me everything I already knew; he didn’t make it. My heart sank for her as I gently washed her other hand.

  4

  Nova

  I heard them before I saw them. My body felt weak. My headache was still there but semi-bearable. There were voices. They came from the other room. I opened my eyes and scanned around. I was in a small dark room. There was a window that was boarded up, but some moonlight filtered through. I didn’t want to move, in case Kevin wasn’t with whoever was talking. I didn’t know what they would want with me. Well I knew what most men would do with me. So, if I pretended to still be sleeping, I would have the element of surprise. My heart pounded. I felt like anyone who came in would see it beat right out of my chest. My chest, I looked down to see it was still covered in my clothes. Which was a promising sign.

  “Show me,” I heard a rough voice all out. And then the stomp of footsteps on a wooden floor. I quickly closed my eyes and tried my best not to move. Relaxing my body was hard while it was still on alert. I heard them come closer until they were right on me. I didn’t know how many, but there was more than two of them, that I could tell.

  “Holy shit, it seriously is a woman. What’s her name? And where did she come from?” the rough voice asked.

  Someone coughed and cleared their throat. “Well your boy here has named her Sleeping Beauty, but I’m pretty sure her name is Nova. That’s what the old man said before he gave her to me,” a deep voice answered back.

  My heart plummeted. Kevin gave me to a group of men? No, that wasn’t right. He wouldn’t do that. He had protected me for years. I felt sick. He wouldn’t leave me. I knew he wouldn’t.

  “Hey, well I wanted her to have a name that was fitting. Screw you both.” And this time I felt him walk very close to me. I could feel them all stare as I tried to control my breathing.

  “Why did you put her on the double mattress?” the rough voice asked.

  “Um… cause we needed to stay close to her?”

  My heart pounded at that response. I hoped they hadn’t raped me while I was unconscious. Because living in this world as a female… I didn’t even want to think about what I had seen happen to most women back in Bakersfield. There was maybe one female to every one hundred men in this country. Probably even the world. That’s what I had heard for the last fourteen years. It was not safe being a woman.

  “I will move her to the single, and I will sleep on the other single so you two can have your double again.” I felt some movement around me as big warm arms gently brushed under my legs and neck. I was still in my clothes so that gave me hope they hadn’t touched me. I remained as floppy as I could as I was carried a few feet away and gently placed down.

  I peeked a bit and saw I was now further from the door. Not great, but I would just have to wait until they fell asleep. I felt some things moved around and shuffled as they all got ready to sleep. A few grunts and I was jostled a few times on the mattress.

  After it had been quiet for ten minutes, the guy closest to me whispered, “Colt?”

  “Yes?” the guy with the rough voice answered

  “Do you think she will wake up? It’s been two days. I just… I don’t want to lose her is all.” I could hear the emotion in his voice as it cracked. I have been out for two days?

  There was a pause and then Colt answered. “ Ezra, you and Noah… you guys have done all that you can. All we have to do is wait. And hope.” And with that there was nothing but quiet as I waited for them to fall asleep.

  I heard some sounds and carefully opened one eye. It was starting to grow light outside. Shit! I must have fallen asleep. I needed to go now. I needed to make a run for it and find Kevin.

  I cracked my other eye open and scanned the room. There was a big body lying on a mattress to the side of me. His large, dark hand was right next to my face. I wondered if it was there all night. How did I never feel it? I rolled my head over to where I could hear the sounds coming from. And realized right away these were not sleeping sounds, but sex sounds. Fuck. I couldn’t look away. I had seen my fair share of sex in my life. But these guys—they were both moaning in pleasure. The one with the long blond hair and lean body pounded himself into the larger guy with curly dark hair who was on his hands and knees. The way they moaned and touched each other was mesmerizing. I forgot about everything else for just that moment. And enjoyed the show they had put on.

  The curly haired man grunted out “I’m coming.” Followed by the blond one repeating the same line a minute later.

  They fell onto the dirty mattress together. Wrapped up in each other’s arms, smiling, sweat sheen on their bodies. I closed my eye
s and tried to pretend I was asleep. I didn’t want to be caught watching them. It turned me on. I was surprised I could feel that way right now, after everything. But I really wanted to touch myself, to feel the same release they both just had.

  I couldn’t go back to sleep. I was just too worked up now. I didn’t know what to do. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep last night. I shouldn’t have watched them have sex. I really shouldn’t be here at all.

  “Hey, if you guys have finished, we need to give Nova some water, maybe see if we can cook up some more broth, get something into her system. I’m really worried it’s taking too long for her to wake up.”

  His voice beside me almost made me jump. This one, his name was Ezra. I remembered that at least from last night. I felt fingers against my forehead, and then they moved down to my cheek. I tried to keep my breathing even, but it was so hard with him touching me. I felt clammy. The heat in the room was so much hotter after watching the other two have sex. I probably looked a little flushed to him.

  “I will go grab the canteen,” I heard from the other side of the room. Shit. They are going to give me water. I didn’t think I could fake that. I would have to pretend I just woke up. Shit. I wasn’t sure how to pull this off but, hey, I pulled off being a boy for almost fourteen years. How hard could it be to fake waking up?

  He just held my hand in his. Maybe if I moved my fingers, he would start to realize I was waking up, and then there was no fake yawn and eye rubbing dramatics needed. I wiggled my fingers just lightly, but enough that he unclasped my hand and held it loosely in his.

  “Shit, I think she is waking up… Nova?” He all but whispered my name.

  I heard some movement around me and I tried to speak, but funny enough nothing but a squeak came out; my throat dry and sore. I didn’t notice that before while watching the two guys.

  “Here, Nova, I have some water for you. Open your mouth and I will pour a little in.” His hand went under my neck and lifted me forward. I felt the cool of metal against my lips, and I opened and drank as much as I could. I didn’t realize how thirsty I was until that moment.

  “Can you open your eyes, Nova? Open your eyes for us.” This came from another direction. It was the rough voice. Colt, I think they called him. This I knew I could do. After what I’d just seen, I knew my eyes were working very well. I opened them slowly and saw all three men peering down at me so close. It frightened me, and I yelped as I tried to move away. I needed to put space between us.

  “Shit, it’s okay. Don’t freak out. We didn’t mean to scare you. We are sorry. We will move away. And I will refill the canteen for you. And give you some space.” Ezra spoke very softly and calmly. It helped my nerves a little. I nodded as he stood up and backed away to the door with the other two.

  5

  Colton

  “Holy shit, dude, she is awake.” Noah was bouncing around outside the room. I was pretty sure she was listening to everything we were saying. She looked so frightened when she opened her eyes. Those eyes were so big and knowing. I wanted to go in and ask her questions. I needed to know everything. And I really wanted to know why that woman was here. Was she sent here? Who was she working for?

  “Noah, calm down, you’re like a big puppy. You’re all cute and cuddly, but you can be a little too much. You don’t want to scare her, okay?”

  He looked down at me and nodded as he mumbled something under his breath. I pulled him forward and kissed his lips. It relaxed him and he stood still, staring right into the room where the woman was.

  I hadn’t always been with men. Before the Flare and NEX I had a string of girlfriends. Men had never really been high on my radar, until a year ago.

  When we found Noah, he was in a bad shape. Ezra had done a run with me to get supplies from this rundown town. As we entered, we could see how worse everything had gotten since we had been there six months earlier. We had met Noah back then. He was young and funny. He came out drinking with us at the bar, and we spent a week there. We had asked him if he wanted to come with us when we left, but he wanted to stay for his dad. So, we left. The worst mistake ever. Because when we’d returned six months later, half the town had been burned down by Red Raiders, many people had been killed, and Noah had been beaten within an inch of his life. We took him with us, and cared for him until he was himself again, or close to it. He never spoke about what had happened to him or his father.

  Then that caring for him moved from friendship to more. Noah was young, much younger than me. But he was also taller and had a bigger build. He had muscles that just sprouted bigger every week; he worked out every day lifting large heavy items out the back of the house. After they beat him, he started training every day and hadn’t stopped.

  But that smile and dimple—fuck, he was hot. No denying that. He brightened up my day… He brightened up everyone’s day. He was always positive and that was a good thing to be when everything looked so shit and bleak. We had a fifteen-year age gap. But that meant nothing in the new world. I could see why he was excited. He hadn’t exactly seen a female in a long time—we all hadn’t.

  “Do you want to take it to her?” Ezra asked me, holding the canteen out. I had been the unofficial leader of our trio for as long as we had been together. I liked to negotiate. I was pre-law before the flare. My parents were lawyers, and I’d learned a lot from them. Some things I had put to good use with trading. We never wanted to be fucked over again. And after the first time, you learned very quickly who not to trust.

  I nodded and grabbed the now full canteen and headed back in. She was sitting up with her knees to her chest trying to remain small as possible. I understood she was frightened; either that or she was a good actress. I wanted her to feel comfortable, hoping it would make her talk. I got down onto the mattress Ezra had slept on and pushed the canteen toward her. Then I moved back and kept myself low. She was so small and fragile. I was amazed she had survived this long. That was why I believed she had to be here as a spy.

  “I’m Colton,” I started with. She looked up to me as she grabbed the canteen and proceeded to drink the whole contents.

  “Hey, take it easy. We don’t want you getting sick. We will get you something to eat soon. Just wait for the water to settle first. So, is your name Nova?”

  She nodded and her voice sounded rough as she asked me, “Where is Kevin?”

  I looked to the doorway where I knew both guys were waiting by. Who is Kevin? “Was Kevin your husband?” I hoped he wasn’t because I had a feeling Kevin was the dead guy Noah buried.

  She shook her head and whispered, “Friend.”

  “Hi, Nova, I’m Ezra. I carried you here and Noah went back to get the man you were with. Was that your friend Kevin?” He was sitting on the floor at the door. Ezra understood the importance of being small and less intimating whereas Noah lingered behind him and paced anxiously back and forth in the hall. I rolled my eyes at him. Ugh… Noah. I could tell it affected her. I wanted to keep her calm and feeling safe so she would openly tell me who she was and why she was here.

  “Yes, he has been taking care of me. He would never leave me unless…” I could see her body tense and her hands shake, as she realized that Kevin had died. A lone tear rolled down her cheek. Automatically, my hand reached out to comfort her but before I touched her shoulder, she flinched back.

  “Shit. I…” Fuck. I hadn’t really been near a woman in almost fourteen years. Her body shook with silent sobs and unshed tears. She sniffed and wiped the only tear that had escaped and held her chin up high.

  She was strong. That much I could tell. She was a fighter. That was maybe why she was here. I couldn’t stop the thoughts that there was something else going on here? Never in the last fourteen years had I come across a woman alone. Why was she here?

  Noah barged into the room and right into her face. She flattened herself against the wall. “I’m so sorry, Nova. I tried my best to save him, but he was lost in the storm. I can take you to him if you would like?”

&n
bsp; She looked to me.

  I smiled tentatively at her. I didn’t want to scare her. I could sense she was looking to me for something. I wasn’t sure if she was sizing me up or questioning me with her eyes.

  I nodded. “Noah here is a bit of a big puppy dog… Do you remember puppies?” I asked quickly as I grabbed his hand to pull him out of her personal space. I didn’t know how old she was. She could have been much younger than she looked. She was so small, and beautiful. Stop thinking like that. We don’t know who she is.

  She nodded. “I had a puppy when I was little.” Her voice was coming out clearer now. And when she looked at me with those big browns, I almost let down all my shields. I wanted to comfort her, to help her. Fuck. This isn’t good. I needed to keep my senses because these two guys had already fallen for her. I could see it in the way they were acting around her.

  They would do anything for her. A blind man could see that.

  It was stupid to think like that. Dangerous. I didn’t know if she was sent here from one of the cities we traded with. She could be here to make us think she was this sweet innocent woman, but in the middle of the night she could slit our throats while we were all unaware. No one had even come here, ever. In the six months we had been here, she was the first person to step foot in this town. There wasn’t much left, but what was left was all ours. And we had stock piles of food, water, and a lot of other items to trade with others. We were sitting on a gold mine as such, and this was what made me distrustful of any outsiders. I was trying to keep a level head, but she had me pinned with those eyes.

  “I want to go to him. I need to see it’s real.” Her voice was stronger now, determined.

  Noah stood up to his six-foot-three height. I don’t think he understood how intimating he was, but she slowly pulled herself up, standing as tall as she could. She only reached Noah’s chest in height. She looked down to me. Then, she glanced behind Noah to Ezra who was still on the floor. Ezra stood up tall and walked toward the stairwell.