Finding Nova

by Belle Harper

  “He is thirty-five. And Ez, well, he is twenty-five.” I smiled and put my hand on Noah’s knee. He looked worn out, and I could feel the strain between him and Colton. I knew I put that there. He looked down to my hand and then to my eyes. I quickly removed my hand and set my little pieces up to play. Noah didn’t say anything about me touching him so I pretended like it didn’t happen.

  After two rounds of Trouble, the light had all but gone. And all we were left with was a slither of moonlight and the heat of the day lingering.

  “I will take first watch, Colt. Get some rest,” Noah said. He swapped places with Colton, who then moved their mattress away from mine. It shouldn’t have upset me, but it did. I was confused by all of this. I never really talked to many people before. Hiding that you’re female is hard if you go around talking to everyone. But being in the dark, I felt safe to talk to them. I couldn’t see their expressions if I said something wrong, but I mostly listened to their stories. I laughed with them, and it felt nice.

  “Nova?” Ezra spoke up from beside me after the room had been quiet for some time. I thought they had all fallen asleep, except Noah who was still seated at the window. Every so often, he would move to the other window, but mostly he watched from one side.

  “Mmm?” I murmured back.

  “Are you sure you want to leave?” he whispered to me. I could just see his face from where I was lying. His one blue eye almost shone in the moonlight—it was pretty. I didn’t know what to say. I kept looking into his eyes. Wondering what I wanted. What I should do?

  This really was a case of “better the devil you know” like my dad had always taught me. But I could feel it, in this room, that these men were different. Or I hoped they were because I felt like for the first time, I was home. I was somewhere I could belong.

  “No,” I choked out. The lump in my throat was back and everything came flooding in. Kevin was dead…gone forever. All because of me. We wouldn’t have had to leave if I wasn’t so stupid. I shouldn’t have wandered away. I should have stayed in my hiding spot and waited for him to come home. But I wanted to see what everyone was doing. I wanted to see Adam. I thought if he was finished work we could sneak away and kiss. He didn’t know I was female; he never asked, and I never told him. But we would kiss. And it felt…well, it felt amazing. Like I was someone special, like I was a real person. Not always hidden away from the world. But that was all we did—kiss and talk. I guessed I was mourning the loss of what could have been with him as well. I thought I was in love with Adam. No, I knew I was in love with him. I should have told him that.

  Big arms wrapped around me, holding me softly, and I knew they were Ezra’s. I had never been hugged like this before and it felt protective, caring. I relaxed into his hold and cried into his chest until I had no tears, and my body shook with so much emotion. He made soft sounds, as he stroked my hair. He never once told me to stop; he only told me to let it all out. And I did.

  When I was all but sniffles, he cupped my cheek and pushed my hair back. He looked down to me as I froze in his arms, afraid of what he was going to do. He sensed that and gently smiled.

  “Nova, if you want to stay with us, I promise we will take care of you. This is a family based on one hundred percent trust. Do you understand?”

  I nodded and he smiled back. I felt exhausted, and I did the one thing I said I wouldn’t.

  I fell asleep.

  10

  Nova

  It had been four days since I’d woken up here. And life had been so different from what I had always known. For one, I didn’t have to hide who I was. Two, I had eaten more in the four days than I had in a month. The guys had a stockpile of food, and they were more than willing to share it with me. Which leads me to three. I hadn’t quite worked out what they wanted from me, so I was always waiting, watching. Just in case they had other plans, but there had to come to a point in my life where I could trust others. Not always looking over my shoulder, because maybe now I had someone who had my back too. Or maybe three other someone’s.

  “We have enough food to last us about five days. I will need to go trade again to get more,” Colton said as he wandered into the kitchen with nothing but his shorts on. He came in from the basement. I liked it down there when it got too hot out. It was so much cooler, but so much darker too. I didn’t mind the dark, though. When you’d been hiding your whole life, dark was just normal to you.

  “Do you think maybe we could trade for more clothes for Nova to wear?” Ezra asked as we prepared lunch together. It had been so much fun to help him cook and learn from him. They had created a spot in the backyard of the house where they would light a small fire and cook all types of things over it. We didn’t have that in Bakersfield. We just ate what we had, and there was no cooking. We only ate from cans or protein bars the government still made.

  Noah was on watch; there was always someone on watch. Well most the time. It did make me feel safer. But I felt I needed to pull my weight more, which now I had some. That was what three meals a day did to you.

  “Can I go on watch? If you show me where to be looking. I really want to help.” I looked over to Colton, who was the man in charge here. Everyone looked to him. He looked at me for longer than was comfortable and then nodded. I almost wanted to scream with joy. He trusted me enough for watch duty.

  “After lunch, Nova can be on watch, and yes we can get her something else to wear. What did you need, Nova?” Colton studied me with those piercing blue eyes.

  “Oh, I had never thought of more clothes. Um, maybe do you think? Um…” I didn’t know how to ask for a bra. I’d never had one, and now that I was putting on some weight I was starting to notice things were getting bigger up top.

  “It’s cool, just tell Colt. He can get practically anything.” Ezra nudged my shoulder with his arm. I was really short around these guys.

  “Okay…could you get a bra?” I whispered. I didn’t know why. It was not like it was something bad. I guess I was just embarrassed.

  “Oh.” His eyes went wide. “Ah…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sure I could find something. Do you know your size?”

  “Oh um? Small? Or um, around me? How do you mean size?” I was confused. How does size work? I was small so thought I was probably a small. No wait. Would I get fatter with all this food? Should I go for a size more like Colton? He was lean but muscular.

  “Your cup size, and, you know, dress size?”

  I peered up to him and he was looking at me. I felt uncomfortable at the way he looked at me so I shrugged, confused.

  “I don’t know what that means?” Now I felt kind of dumb asking for one. “Actually, don’t worry about it. I’m okay. I don’t need anything.” I went back to peeling the potatoes and trying to dismiss the weird vibe that was in the room.

  I heard a chair pull up and Colton sat beside me at the table.

  “No, I won’t not worry about it, Nova. If you don’t know what size you are, I can help you. Have you ever had a bra before?” I didn’t look at him; I just felt so silly. I shook my head. Why was I letting something like his get to me? I’m strong, I’m tough. I’m a woman who survived NEX. And I was being all emotional over a bra?

  “Okay, Nova, you will get a bra. I can help size you. Come with me.” He laid his hand palm up on the table. I hesitated for a moment before taking it. I really would love a bra. All the women at the brothel had bras. And they really loved wearing them. I guess it made them look like a real woman and that was also why I wanted one.

  He led me to the front room. There was no furniture in here, the windows boarded up, but it still let in plenty of light. I felt nervous. Did he want to see my boobs? Instinctively I wrapped my arms around my chest and looked down at the floor. I didn’t know if I wanted him to see me. I took a step back as he held his hands up defensively.

  “Hey, I just thought you maybe didn’t want to do it in front of Ez, but I had girlfriends in the past, and I can tell your size roughly by looking with
clothes on. Just your top is very loose, so I can’t see what size you need.”

  That shocked me. He had girlfriends once? I guessed that made sense given he was much older than the rest of us. He would have been what? Twenty when the flare hit. I nodded and placed my arms by my side.

  “So if you just pull your top from the back, I should be able to gather an idea on the size.”

  I pulled my top flush against myself without looking at Colton. I was worried what his face would say.

  “All good. I know what size will suit best.”

  And with that, he left me standing, confused as to what just happened as he went upstairs.

  11

  Noah

  I usually got stuck with watch during the day. I was terrible at staying awake at night so I got to spend more daytime staring at nothing, watching nothing come. Except that day something did come. And her name was Nova.

  I heard someone enter the room and turned to find Colton stomping over our mattresses toward me. The look on his face had me straightening up where I was sitting.

  I went to speak, but he crushed his mouth to mine as soon as he reached me. Okay, this is a surprise. I kissed him back, but this kiss was different to what he normally gave me. Typically, it was a small kiss on the lips, but when his tongue entered my mouth, I was taken back. I pulled away from him. Placing my hands on his shoulders to catch my breath.

  “What’s going on Colt?”

  “I want you, right now.” He practically growled at me.

  I was stunned. We didn’t normally do anything during the day, just at night. I didn’t know what had gotten him in this mood, but I was excited for it. I nodded and smiled. And before I stood up, he was already naked, in all his glory with his cock jutting out from his body. I leaned forward and clasped it in my hand and I started stroking him the way I knew he liked best. He moaned and rolled his head back.

  “On your knees,” he commanded me. I loved when he took control. It turned me on more than anything. “I want your mouth now.”

  I complied and he gripped the back of my hair and directed me to his cock. I swirled my tongue around the head and took him slowly into my mouth. He groaned and his hips flexed forward until he reached the back of my throat. I gave him full control as I dropped my hand and reached into my pants to stroke my own throbbing cock. The sounds he emitted aroused me even more. I could orgasm just by them alone. I loved to please him.

  He pushed me back and his cock sprang free from my mouth. I looked up to him and his eyes were dark and full of lust. He shoved me hard until my back hit the mattress. He quickly removed my pants before he placed himself between my legs. He spat in his hand a few times. It made me so horny as he pushed his finger past my ring and slowly fingered my ass. I thrust my hips upward as he slowly teased my cock with his fingers. My balls tingled and tightened with the need for release.

  “Shit,” I hissed. “More, Colt. I need more.”

  12

  Ezra

  After Colt ran up the stairs, I could hear Nova quietly follow him about a minute later. I wasn’t too sure what had happened between them, so I left lunch prep where it was to find out what was going on.

  I got to the top of the stairs and saw Nova standing to the side of the bedroom door frame, peering in.

  What the—? I was just about to ask her if she was okay, when I saw her put her hand down her pants. Fuck, is she touching herself? Then I could hear the moans. Colt and Noah were fucking again. But this was different; they didn’t do it during the day. Well, from what I knew they never had. And they were loud, so I usually knew.

  When I heard Noah asking for more, I saw Nova look in again, her hand moving fast between her legs. Her other hand reached under her top exposing her belly to me. Her skin was smooth and a creamy coffee color. Just thinking about her made me hard. This would make me come in my pants. Fuck. I didn’t want her to know I was watching, but I knew I wanted to watch her to the end. I wanted to help her, to feel her. This woman had my cock hard for almost a week. I had to take care of myself more than I would like to say. Just because of her. I never knew I would feel this way about someone.

  Her hair fell over her shoulder as she arched her head back and made a small breathy moan. I couldn’t help but rub my cock though my shorts. But it was not enough. I stepped back farther, trying to be as quiet as I could. I pulled my cock out and stroked myself. I shuddered at the feeling. I wouldn’t take long. Watching her was the best thing I had ever experienced. I had never been with anyone before. Yeah, I had seen Colt and Noah going at it. But this was different. I could just imagine her, my hand between her thighs.

  It didn’t take long before I heard Noah calling out in release. It sent Nova over at the same time. Her body trembled with release as she grasped the doorframe and bit her lip to stay quiet.

  I was next. I held my palm out as I came over and over again. I tried to be as quiet as I could but I wasn’t.

  Nova stared right at me, her mouth agape and those big brown eyes fixed right on my cock. We were broken from our trance when Colt practically screamed his release. Nova started running down the stairs. I stood there frozen with my cock in one hand, my come in the other. Noah came running out of the room and stopped when he saw me. He then looked toward the stairs.

  “What the fuck?” Noah questioned me with his brows pulled close in confusion. He pulled his pants up and ran down after Nova.

  “If you wanted to join, Ez, all you have to do is ask,” Colton said, walking out. Then he winked at me and chuckled. I hadn’t heard him laugh in a long time. It was good to hear. He patted my shoulder and took off down the stairs, his naked white ass on display for the world.

  13

  Nova

  Holy shit, I was so embarrassed. I had never done that before. I had never gotten myself off by watching anyone before. I didn’t know what came over me, but that was so intense. What I wasn’t expecting was Ezra there, cock in hand and coming into the other.

  It was… hot. That he got himself off by watching me. I wanted to reach out and touch him. His body was slick with sweat, and his stomach was taut, the muscles moved with his quickened breaths. But his cock, holy crap. He was big. I looked to his face, frozen in what looked like horror. I didn’t think twice, I freaked out and ran.

  “Hey, Nova. Are you okay?” Noah came around the corner of the kitchen and surprised me. I thought it was Ezra. I nodded. “Um…yep,” I squeaked out. Shit, did he know I was watching him and Colton?

  “I think we all are okay.” He wiggled his brows and laughed, dimples on full show.

  I moved away from him and washed my hands in the bucket of water. Trying to hide my face, which I felt burning up.

  Colt entered the room and cleared his throat. I turned to see he was wearing nothing. “Nova, let’s just get this out there. Did you watch us?” His cock was still hard. Which surprised me. I always thought they went down once a man came? Maybe I was wrong.

  I shamelessly looked to the floor as I nodded. He was going to want me to leave. I shouldn’t have done that. And I shouldn’t have touched myself to them either. I peeked up though the curtain of my hair and saw Ezra standing there next to Colton. I looked down to his hand, which was clasped in a fist.

  They were all standing there looking at me. Ezra had a look of guilt. Noah had a big grin on his face and Colton looked…pleased?

  “I watched, all right? I’m not going to lie to you and say I didn’t. I did okay? It’s a bit hard not to when you just start fucking in the middle of the shared bedroom.” I looked to each of them. Noah laughed, and Colton raised his eyebrows his lips curled into a sexy smile.

  “So, you admit you watched us. I didn’t think you would. Did it turn you on? Is that why Ez here has a hand full of his jizz?”

  Ezra lowered his head. He looked embarrassed. Argh. I was fucking this all up. I was in this house with three amazing, extremely attractive guys, and I really wished that maybe, I could have something like Colt and Noah had.
That passion, that love. But right now I was feeling a little worked up. I stood up straighter.

  “Yes. And I’m not sorry.”

  Noah came closer to me. “Do you want to watch us again? Can I watch you, Nova?”

  Shit. Did I want to let him watch me? Maybe? I did want to watch him again? Yes! I was so turned on by what I had just seen. I’m a woman. I have needs just like any man.

  I took a deep breath, swallowed and then looked to all three of them.

  “Yes. Yes I do.”

  It had been two long days. I thought we would be doing something that afternoon they all caught me. But they’d all just smiled and went about their daily chores. Then, something happened to the water well, and they spent most the afternoon fixing it. I kept watch from the chair in the bedroom all day, seeing nothing but desert—boring. They’d said I did a great job and that I could do it again. Which was what I was doing right now. But I was mostly day-dreaming. Which is probably not the best when your on watch.

  Dinner had been over for a while now, and the sun was getting lower in the sky. The winds had picked up, but I couldn’t see any storms coming. The guys said not to stress too much in looking for one. Sometimes they never get close enough, that we would know when one was here. I just needed to watch for anyone that was out there. So, I just looked out as best I could and moved to the other window every so often to stretch my legs, and look out there.

  The room was cast in reds again. It was beautiful to see it every night.

  “Nova, would you like to have some fun with us?” I turned to see Colt wearing only his shorts again. His body was lean with a trail of slightly darker hair leading a path from his belly button down into his shorts.