SWAY (Part 1)

by Jennifer Davis

  “It’s not right.” I shook my head.

  “I just don’t know about getting involved.”

  “You have to. As I told you, we’ll work it out. He’s a part of you. I’ll love him, too. He’s going to need you in his life. Could you imagine going through all this college stuff without John? He told me how close you two are. I don’t want you to miss out on that opportunity with Jacob. I don’t want him to be denied his father because of me.”

  Ryan was quiet. In that silence I wondered if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with a man who didn’t want his own child, no matter how he came to be.

  “It’s not because of you,” he mumbled. “It’s because of me. I’m afraid, Annie. I’m afraid of what will happen. I know it would be wrong for me not to claim responsibility for him, and deep down I know I should, and I want to, but I’m so afraid of him. I’ve never been dependable or loyal or truthful until you and I know Jacob is going to need me to be all of those things and so much more for him.”

  “You’ll be fine. We’ll be fine. We’ll figure it out together. I know you can be everything that he needs you to be. You’ll see,” I smiled.

  Ryan hugged me tight. “I don’t deserve you, Annie.”

  “Well too bad, you’re kind of promised to me.” I smiled, flashing my ring. “Now let’s celebrate that.”

  ***

  Ryan’s fingers lightly skimming my arm woke me. I was smiling before my eyes opened. He delicately kissed my shoulder. “I want to show you something before we go.” Go! What? Noooo, I whined in my head. I was too happy here. I didn’t want to leave.

  Then I remembered my ring. I swiftly yanked my left hand from beneath the tangle of sheets we were lying in. I sighed when I saw it again, and bent my hand toward Ryan’s face, smiling a drunken smile at him. I loved the way he was looking at me, as if he couldn’t have been any happier.

  “Did you see the ring my boyfriend gave me?” I teased.

  “I did,” Ryan mumbled, and kissed my shoulder again. “How did he do?” He kissed my hand dangling there in front of his face. “You know in case I run into him later,” he added playfully.

  I looked lovingly at his face. “You can tell him that he did perfect.” An enormous smile crept back across my face.

  “I told you, you wouldn’t mind it after it sunk in.”

  “You’re right,” I agreed, gazing at my ring. “I feel sorry for any mugger who tries to steal this from me. I’m never taking it off.”

  “You will eventually have to move it to your other hand.”

  I looked at him, what he meant was unclear.

  “Your engagement ring will replace it and you can move this one…,” he touched the ring with the tip of his finger, “over here.” He touched the third finger on my right hand.

  I tilted my head to one side considering his words. He laughed. “This is your promise ring. You’ll get a new ring once were engaged and then a wedding band to finish the set after we’re married.” The words after we're married made my heart skip a beat. I looked at his brilliant smile, beautiful face and felt a tremendous amount of peace because I knew for sure that spending the rest of my life with Ryan was what I wanted.

  I wasn’t as shocked about the ring situation as I should have been. He made it sound like it made perfect sense, like that’s how everyone did it.

  “But I love this one,” I whined. “Can’t we use it again?” I wrinkled my nose.

  “No,” he laughed. “You will be getting a proper engagement ring when the time comes. Now get dressed so I can take you outside.” Ryan hopped up off the bed and I rolled out, dragging the quilt with me.

  He hadn’t brought extra clothes either. We looked like we had been out all night. Somehow, my clothes didn’t look as good as they had the night before. Sort of fouls up the memory of looking spectacular when your makeup is smeared and your hair’s matted.

  Ryan opened the car door for me. I knew he was taking me to the farmhouse because he’d mentioned the half-mile distance when we arrived at the cabin.

  As we approached the house, I was shocked. I gasped in amazement, which pleased Ryan.

  “You like it?”

  “When you said farmhouse…I was expecting a one story deal with a wraparound porch.” I had pictured the house my great grandparents had lived in. They both died before I was born, but I had seen photos of their smallish house, which was nothing like the house before me. This house was enormous. It looked more like an antebellum home. It was three stories with ornate, white columns in the front. The wood siding had also been painted white. The place was full of windows. Three perfect rows of them spaced equally between the three floors.

  Ryan held my hand as we walked up the wide plank stairs. I turned to look at the view from the porch. It would be amazing in the spring. Magnolias, dogwoods, and redbuds. I could almost smell the mixture of fragrances that would float in the air once released from the new blooms. I smiled at the thought.

  “Come on. I want to show you the inside.” Ryan gently nudged me toward the door; distressed maple in need of re-varnishing. It had darkened with age, staining the terrific color it once was. The house was almost empty as far as furniture went, but it was still perfect.

  “He built this place with his own hands.”

  “It’s beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

  “He used the trees on the property for the lumber. There’s a mill about a mile down the road. He made everything he could for this house.

  “I love it.”

  “I’m glad you feel that way.”

  I smiled too big at Ryan’s blissful expression. He stared at me for a moment. “Do you love it enough to live here?”

  Nothing he said should have been shocking to me anymore but it was. “Seriously?”

  “I want this to be our home once were married, Annie.”

  “Yes,” I answered eagerly.

  “I want to give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of Annie. I can see us here. I think we would be happy, our children running around out there with you and I chasing behind them—” I kissed him excitedly and added to the fantasy. “We could get married here, out in the yard in late spring when the trees are blooming.” I hurried toward the open door, looking upon my vision. “We could put up a tent for the reception and hang candle lanterns in the low tree branches. We could exchange our vows at sunset. It would be beautiful.”

  “You would really want to be married here?”

  “Why not? This will be our home. Besides, I saw it when we were on the front porch and it was perfect.”

  “I love you,” Ryan said and kissed me for a long moment. “Now, let’s go upstairs and I’ll show you the view from our bedroom.” The tone in his voice made my skin tingle. I giggled and took off running up the stairs with Ryan chasing after me.

  36

  I headed straight for the shower when we got to Ryan’s house. Although we hadn’t been dressed for it, he and I had spent a while walking his property, making plans.

  Because I had been staying at his house so much I had a change of clothes in one of his drawers and a toothbrush in his bathroom. I couldn’t help but think that I would soon be living here with Ryan. We’d decided that I should move in after I graduated from Hurst. There was no reason for me to wait until the fall when my classes started at Harmon. I’d applied for early admission, but I knew I would get in. My SAT scores and GPA were higher than what the school required.

  I shut off the water in the shower, hearing Ryan and Valerie talking so loudly that they were on the verge of yelling. I hurriedly dried off and threw my clothes on. I wrapped my sopping wet hair in a towel and quietly crept through Ryan’s bedroom to listen at the door.

  “…she’s not going anywhere.” These were the first words I heard clearly, and they sounded like a threat, something I knew Valerie wouldn’t like at all.

  “I oversee your trust and can revoke it at any time before you’re twenty-one,” Valerie snarled, then went on to expl
ain the stipulation that would allow her to seize it if she chose to. Legally the items in the trust wouldn’t be Ryan’s until he turned twenty-one. Valerie didn’t have to give him anything if she decided not to. I shouldn’t have been, but I was shocked that she was playing so dirty against her own son.

  Ryan chuckled. “You want the money in my trust—keep it—it’s yours. I can make more,” he said arrogantly, like that was the least of his concerns.

  “Ah, but you can’t make more of your grandfather’s land or recreate the farmhouse he built there or the cabin where you and Annie spent the night together dreaming about the rest of your lives.” How did she know that? “Those items are also a part of your trust and I can do anything I want with them over the next two years.”

  “What do you mean anything?” Ryan asked carefully.

  “Mostly, I mean sell.” My mouth fell open at her words.

  “You wouldn’t.”

  “Try me,” Valerie dared.

  “I’ll call Katie and set something up for next weeke—” “It’s too late for that,” Valerie interrupted, sucking in a noisy breath through her teeth. “I gave you a chance to contact Katie on your own and you didn’t, so now you don’t have a choice. You will do what I say or else…”

  My heart was pounding, my blood boiling because of Valerie’s threat. I couldn’t imagine how Ryan felt. He was being bullied by his own mother.

  “What exactly is your way?” Ryan’s voice was even, anticipating, like me, that she was going to tell him to get rid of me.

  “Three months,” Valerie asserted. “I want you to spend three months with Katie and Jacob without Annie. You will not be allowed to have any contact with her whatsoever. I’ll know if you do. Once time is up, if you have decided that you don’t want to be a family with Katie and Jacob then we’ll work out a suitable shared custody arrangement and I’ll give you my blessing to marry Annie. I will also have your father draw up the papers to release the contents of your trust to you at that time.”

  “No,” Ryan laughed. “I wish you would understand what I’ve been telling you all along. I do not want Katie. I don’t even want to be in the same room with her, much less try to make a family with her.”

  “You’ve already made a family with her, Ryan.”

  “I made a mistake with her that resulted in the birth of a child. A child that I will support and care for, for the rest of my life, but I will never marry his mother. I am going to marry Annie, whether you like it or not. I choose her. I’ll always choose her.”

  “Fine,” Valerie said, her tone way too calm.

  I heard metal tinkling. Valerie was gathering her keys.

  “Where are you going?” Ryan asked her.

  “To call Daniel Heard. He’ll be very happy to hear from me. He’s a commercial developer who’s been after me to sell him that property for years.”

  “Commercial developer!” Ryan roared. “That property is mine! Grandfather wanted me to have it. You can’t sell it, not to someone who wants to put condos or a grocery store on it.”

  “Weren’t you paying attention sweetheart? I’ve already told you, I can do anything I want with that land for two more years.”

  “You would really do it, wouldn’t you?” Ryan asked limply.

  “It’s not me, dear. It’s completely up to you. This is your decision. I’ll remind you that you could have the deed safely in your own hands in ninety short days if you do what I’ve asked.”

  “I can’t stay away from her for that long.”

  “As I said, it’s your decision.”

  “You’re seriously distorted. I can’t believe you would sell your father’s land to keep me away from the girl I love.”

  What I couldn’t figure out was why Valerie was so threatened by me that she would force Ryan to choose between me and the things his grandfather wanted him to have. Things that rightfully belonged to him.

  “You’re nineteen, Ryan. You have your whole life ahead of you and if that life is meant to be shared with Annie, then you’ll still feel the same way about her in three months as you do today. If there’s one thing I know for sure, son, it’s that true love never dies. You have until noon on Saturday to make your choice,” Valerie said sternly. “Oh, you should also know that if you choose to discard your trust that this house will also be sold. It was purchased with money from your trust, which means you’ll need to find a new place to live—and a job—you’ll need a job to pay child support and cover your living expenses.”

  There was no way he’d be able to fit a job into his already overloaded schedule. He was taking a full course load and what time that didn’t eat up was about to be swallowed whole by the start of the baseball season. I heard the heels of Valerie’s designer shoes clicking against the hardwood floor in the living room.

  Once I heard the door close, I pulled the towel out of my hair, swallowed my nerves, and crept into the living room. Ryan was standing there, staring up at the ceiling with his hands on his head, his fingers wound in his hair. He was furious. I couldn’t blame him. Valerie had the power to take everything away from him. It was a good thing he had a scholarship. If he had to, he was eligible to live in a dorm. But who would want to go from living alone in a four bedroom house to sharing a single room with another person?

  I wrapped my arms around Ryan and laid my head against his chest. He removed his hands from his hair and encircled them around my neck.

  “I’m sorry you had to hear that,” he murmured.

  “I’m sorry she’s doing this to you.”

  “Me too.”

  “Let’s not think about it tonight,” I said, smiling up at him. He nodded, agreeing, although we both knew there was no way not to think about it. Either way he chose he would be losing something. If he chose to separate from me, it would be a short-term loss. If he chose not to separate, the contents of his trust would be lost forever, and would also leave him temporarily homeless and broke.

  37

  Monday morning I took off my ring and put it back on about fourteen times before deciding that I didn’t want to leave it behind when I went to school. Part of me wanted to wear it just to show everyone up, because I had done what no other girl before me had been able to do. I’d gotten Ryan Mullins to commit to me.

  Part of me wanted to keep my ring a secret so that I wouldn’t look like an ass later if he decided to separate for three months or when the wrong person at school found out about Jacob and blabbed to everybody about it.

  This was how it would be for the rest of our lives. Ryan would always have a child with another girl. My marrying him wouldn’t change that. Keeping it a secret wouldn’t change it, either. It would come to light and I would be ready to deal with it.

  I was surprised the girls at school swooned instead of snarled when talking to me about my ring. It was a nice distraction. I was allowed to leave our real life and revert to our fantasy life.

  After school, I decided to bite the bullet and go talk to Pam, tell her everything—well not everything, just about Jacob. I knew it would hurt her feelings if I didn’t. Besides, I wasn’t sure how long Justin would keep the news that Ryan had a son to himself.

  Pam already knew about Katie. She was sort of sitting there when I told Justin about her.

  When I walked into Pam’s boutique, she gushed over seeing me, like always.

  “Do you have a minute to talk?” I asked.

  “Sure.”

  She led me to the seating area near the dressing rooms. We sat opposite of one another in steely blue tufted back armchairs, a rectangular mirrored accent table with a small vase of freshly cut flowers between us.

  “What’s up?” Pam asked.

  “Um, I just wanted to tell you something…” I revealed slowly, unsure how to say the words to her, unsure I wanted to now that I was here. “…you know before…” I began and trailed off again.

  “He already told me, sweetie,” Pam said softly. I guess the only secrets Justin could keep were about his own life
. I breathed out raggedly and ran my hands down my thighs.

  “But he didn’t tell me about that,” she gasped, darting around the table, taking my left hand to examine my ring.

  I smiled. “Ryan gave it to me Friday.”

  “Is it…are you?” she asked, wide eyed.

  “No, it’s a promise ring. There’s still a lot we have to sort out before we could…” get married. I don’t know why I couldn’t say those words out loud.

  “Well, I think getting everything in order first is very smart of the two of you to.”

  “I’m sorry you had to hear about Jacob from Justin. I wasn’t trying to keep it from you. I’m still processing it, really.”

  “I know, sweetie,” she smiled. “I knew you would talk to me about it when you were ready.”

  I exhaled, relieved that I had an actual person to discuss Jacob and Katie with, other than Ryan. I had been encouraging him to have a relationship with Jacob so I didn’t exactly want to tell him that I was nervous about it, and about how Katie will feel about me. I imagined that she might not be too thrilled about her son being around me when he’s at Ryan’s. But if Valerie took away his house, that wouldn’t be much of an issue.

  I also didn’t know how Katie felt about the idea that she and Ryan should be the ones getting married. She could have been just as turned off by the thought as Ryan was, or she could have been in agreement with their parents and wanted to marry Ryan. I desperately hoped that wasn’t the case.

  Pam told me that I should do my best to get along with Katie and respect her boundaries when it came to Jacob. She thought it would be a good idea for Katie and me to talk about what we expected from each other as far as Jacob’s care went.

  Pam and I had a nice, long conversation that was very helpful to me, but during most of it I was thinking about Justin. I couldn’t help it. I wondered if I should bring up that I hadn’t talked to him since New Year’s Day or not. Then I figured that if Justin had told Pam my business that she must know why he didn’t call me on my birthday.