by Frankie Love
Throughout the meal I keep expecting there to be some big reveal, some a-ha moment that brought us all together, but nothing happens. The parents talk amicably, no one’s getting angry or drinking too much. It feels like a fucking family dinner.
Since when did we all become so boring?
The dinner starts off with a raucous debate on whether or not Jon Snow is alive or not on Game of Thrones. I try to catch Tess’s eye, but she’s looking down at her plate, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. Poor girl, she’s totally not ready for this dinner. Too much at once.
When the discussion turns to spouses and how long couples have been married, Claire’s mom mentions her husband passing away. Then JoJo’s dad says he’s a widower, too, and suddenly the conversation takes a depressing turn. Besides being boring, we’re also heavy as hell.
During the dessert course, I lean over to Ace.
“Dude, we gotta turn this night up a notch. I’m fucking losing my mind talking to our parents about fucking Game of Thrones and life insurance.”
“Do you have anything in mind?”
“We could ditch the parents, take the ladies to Hearts?” I suggest. But one glance at Tess and I can tell something is off with her, too. Probably being around so many people who know about or saw the video is upsetting. I hate putting her in a situation that makes her uneasy.
Ace raises an eyebrow. “You want to watch your girl get a lap dance?”
“I wanna watch her get off.”
Ace snorts. “Then you should take her back to your fucking apartment.”
“True,” I say to him, then lean over to whisper in Tess’s ear. “You wanna head to my place?”
“When?” she asks, a small look of desperation crossing her face.
“Now.”
I wake the next morning in a tangle of sheets. Today is the big day; I have to make a decision about the contract, and then put on a show.
Couple that with the fact that, ever since dinner last night, Tess has been a train wreck, and I don’t see how I can keep my head on straight. What I really need to do is find her father myself and bash his fucking brain in.
She’s already sitting up in bed, biting her nails nervously.
“What is it?” I ask, pushing up beside her. “Did something happen?”
“No, I’m just kind of freaking out, babe,” she tells me.
“Tess, the condo is secure as fuck, there’s no way anyone can get in here and get to you. And we have a meeting today with the private investigator to find out where your dad is. Once we know that you’ll feel less scared.”
I don’t tell her that, when I find out where her father is, I am going to personally make sure no one ever fucks with my girl again.
By any means necessary.
“It’s not that.”
“What is it then?”
“I just keep having these weird flashbacks. I don’t know what’s triggered them, but the moment I sat down at that table at dinner, I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone there knew me. Or, like, I knew them.”
“One of our friends? I don’t know what you mean.”
“I don’t either. I just felt like something was off.”
“Tell me about the flashbacks.”
“Well, remember how I told you that memory I had as a little girl?”
“When you were sick?”
“Yeah.” Tess nods, pulling the sheets around her more tightly. “Well, in these memories I’m the same age as I was then, and I keep seeing myself at a playground with these little boys. And they were pushing me in a swing. And then I remember a birthday party, where I was opening gifts and then a woman brought out a cake and I blew out the candles. That doesn’t make sense though.”
“Why not? Maybe you’re remembering good things about your childhood so that you can let go of the other horrible shit that went down.”
“That’s what doesn’t make sense, Jack.” She sighs, covering her mouth. “It isn’t my childhood. There were no kids at the compound. I was my mom’s only child. And the lady with the birthday cake? She wasn’t my mother.”
“Who was she? Your aunt? A friend of the family?” I don’t understand what she’s getting at.
“I don’t know, Jack. But I need to find out.”
“Let’s get dressed and meet with the PI. Then we can sort this out, okay?”
“Doesn’t it sound weird to you? That I’m having all these memories now?”
“Baby, you’ve had a really intense month. Maybe going back to your apartment will help center you.”
“Center me? What are you, a yogi?” She cracks a smile.
“Finally, a smile out of you,” I say, pulling her to me for a kiss. “I wasn’t trying to spout off some new-age bullshit—but, damn, you haven’t been to your apartment in weeks. Maybe if you go back there you’ll feel better.”
“I know one way I could feel better right now,” she says, reaching her hand under the sheets, stroking my morning wood.
“Oh, yeah?” I ask.
“Mhmm,” she purrs, sliding under the sheets. Her mouth is on my hard cock—and, damn, this is the right way to wake up.
Her hand wraps around the base of my cock, pumping nice and slow, and her mouth takes me deep. I feel my tip hit the back of her throat.
It feels so good … and her little ass is right beside me, so I run my hands over her soft skin. Reaching lower for her pussy, I dip a finger into her folds, loving the way she sucks harder as I start finger-fucking her nice and good.
I smack her ass, my hands squeezing those perfect cheeks, then lift her leg over me, so she’s straddling me backwards. And then I go to town on her pussy.
My tongue licks her slit up and down, faster and faster, to match the rhythm of how she takes my cock. Her pussy drips with pleasure as I add three fingers to her pretty little opening.
She’s moaning now, and I need her to ride me, to really get me off.
“Fuck me, baby,” I tell her.
She lifts herself ever so slightly, and then begins to sit on my cock, my hands running over her back, grabbing her by the waist as she swivels above me in reverse cowgirl.
“You like that,” I ask her.
“Oh, fuck me, it feels so good, baby,” she groans, her pussy pouring out on my thighs, her narrow waist the perfect size to hold onto.
“I’m going to come.” I remember at the last second that we didn’t use a condom, but it’s too late to stop. My come shoots inside her.
“Oh, God, Jack, it feels so good, you fill me up so good,” she pants as an orgasm washes over her. “Oh, fuck me,” she screams as she comes again.
When she climbs off of me, I tell her we didn’t use a condom.
As she catches her breath, she looks in my eyes, hers still dripping with desire. “That’s all right. I needed to feel you in me, Jack. You centered me.”
I pull her to me, her beautiful face nestled against my chest. I poured out my seed in her, I told her I love her, and now I’m going to make sure no one can ever hurt her again.
Even if it means losing everything else.
TESS
Before the meeting with the private investigator, I get the security detail and my private bodyguard to take me to my studio apartment. The plan is to take the things I really want to keep, and a moving company will put the rest in a storage unit until I decide what I want to do.
But there’s no way I can stay living here. I’d never feel safe.
The plan had been to get my shit and run ... but I can’t do that right now. I’ve given Jack everything I have—my heart, my soul, everything but the words I love you.
There’s no way I could leave him now, even if I wanted to. I told him my deepest secret, the secret that could imprison me, because I trust him with my life.
Two of the security guards enter my apartment first, scouting it out, and thankfully the premises are clear.
I tell my bodyguard to wait outside the partially closed door, knowing I need a moment alo
ne, and I fall into my bed.
The last time I slept here was with Jack. It feels like a year ago. I was just trying to keep up appearances, trying to keep my life together.
And now it all seems to have unraveled. In a way I never expected.
Jack Harris loves me.
This was the boy I was obsessed with, who I thought was sexy and funny and adorable in that I got this city wrapped around my finger way. And he has chosen me. To fight for me and love me.
And, damn, I miss him, even though we’ve only been apart for half an hour.
My phone rings.
It’s the girls, in a group text. I smile, noticing that JoJo is included now. I’m reminded once again how lucky I am to have these friends. How did I imagine leaving them and running away to start over on my own?
Emmy: Can we come over? We miss you. Are you at Jack’s?
Me: I’m at my studio. Just packing.
Claire: We’re bringing lunch.
I give them a thumbs-up emoji and drop my phone back on my bed. I need to start working, because I know once they arrive any momentum will be derailed.
I grab a few laundry baskets and start throwing in clothes, some shoes. Hoarding is not in my vocabulary, and I keep things pretty tidy, so I don’t have a ton to take.
Looking through my stacks of books, I realize I’m going to have some serious library fines, and I tuck those books in a tote. The rest of my favorite books go in a basket along with my handful of journals and favorite pens.
I’m just sorting through my makeup when the door opens. Claire, Emmy, and JoJo come in, carrying bags of to-go food, and McQueen’s mom Teri comes in behind them.
“Oh, wow, it’s the whole gang.” I jump off my bed, and make room on my countertop for the bags.
“Yeah, well,” JoJo says, “I’ve been dragging Teri all over town with me to find stuff to make Ryan’s place less....”
“Male?” Claire offers.
“Yes. It is the epitome of bachelor pad,” JoJo says. “But, since I’ve moved in, I need to spice it up. With at least curtains.”
“And we found an absolute steal on some at Target,” Teri says, unloading a bag of sandwiches and salads. “That place has everything.”
JoJo is so lucky to have Teri since her own mother died. A sharp pain runs through my chest thinking about my own mother ... my own plight. But I don’t want it to be about me today. Especially since none of my friends know half of the drama.
“So are the security guys here because of the paparazzi?” Claire asks, grabbing a veggie wrap.
“Yep. But Ashley apparently has put out statements about the fiasco and, while not admitting her role in it,” I tell them, “she did say the press has got to back off.”
“That’s good,” Emmy says. “I mean, Ace was all fired up about getting you guys the best detail.”
“I know, even my dad was helping Ace and Jack sort security out,” JoJo says. “So whatever the guys are doing, it must be working.”
“So you and Jack ... you guys are moving in together?” Claire asks, looking around my place.
“Not exactly. I mean, I’m going to be staying there for a while, but there’s no plan. I just need to leave this place and find something new.”
“I can see how it could feel a bit cramped.” Teri looks around appraisingly, and, considering we’re all standing around without a place to sit, I agree it her.
“Yeah, when I first got to town I just wanted something that was private and that I could afford.”
“You have quite the tea collection,” Teri says, looking at my basket full of loose-leaf tea varieties.
“Teri’s a tea drinker, too,” JoJo says. “She literally brought her own tea in her luggage.”
“That’s funny,” I say. “Not everyone understands my addiction. When we went to London for Claire’s wedding, I was so excited about having real English tea—but, honestly, I make it better myself.”
Teri looks through my basket and pulls out the lavender-chai blend. “I’ve never seen this kind,” she says.
“Could I make you a cup? You will be in heaven.”
“If it’s not too much of a bother.”
“No, not at all.” I fill my kettle and set it on the burner.
“So how was it at Jack’s parents place?” Emmy asks. “I remember Ashley telling me how it was in the middle of nowhere and boring as all get-out.”
I tell them about Roscoe’s and my clothing options and they crack up. “But honestly,” I say, taking the whistling kettle off the burner. “It was magic. I’d live there forever if I could.”
“That is so sweet,” Claire says, sticking out her bottom lip. “Tess, can you even believe you and Jack are a thing? It’s like you finally got everything you wanted.”
I smile tightly, not feeling that way at all. Sure, Jack is a complete gift, but there are so many unsettled parts stirring inside me. Those dream like memories that keep surfacing, and knowing my father is somewhere looking for me, plotting revenge. It doesn’t feel like I’ve gotten a happily ever after. Not even close.
Lost in my thoughts, I pour the boiling water in two mugs, but it overflows and burns my finger.
“Damn it,” I say, setting the kettle down. “That was so stupid of me.” I squeeze my hand, already feeling the blister.
“Oh, shush, sweetie,” Teri says. “Don’t say that about yourself. I think I have something to help with the burn.”
She roots around in her purse and pulls out a tube of ointment. “This eucalyptus cream helps with everything; I swear by it.”
She takes my hand, and dabs the cream on my burn. As her hands hold mine, my heart seizes, my eyes fill fast.
The smell of the ointment fills my nose and my senses explode, triggered by the memories of my past.
These soft hands on mine, rubbing this oil on my chest when I was sick.
My birthday party, and a much younger Teri holding a cake, telling me to make a wish.
“Make a wish, Rachel.”
The lullaby I remembered being sung, always thinking it wasn’t a lyric about an angel, it was a lyric about Rachel.
I look at Teri, McQueen’s mother—and, in a panic, I remember that his sister was kidnapped when she was four.
His sister Rachel.
Me.
“Tess, are you okay?” Emmy reaches for me as I faint. Teri catches me as I fall.
My eyes close, and all I see is my mother.
Not the one I murdered.
The one I never knew I lost.
Chapter Twenty
JACK
Kirby meets me at my loft, along with Lola, my PR lead. They flew in this morning from Los Angeles, and now sit around my dining room with a catered lunch spread on the table.
“You’ve got to make a decision,” Kirby says, flipping through the pages of the contract. “This offer from KMG is once in a lifetime.”
“I get that,” I tell him, looking through the contract myself. Lines jump out at me: Controlled Composition ... Advance shall mean prepayment of royalties ... KMG shall be the exclusive, perpetual owner.... “I just don’t think I can sign this yet. It’s too fast.”
“You’ve had a month to think about it, Jack,” Lola says. “This offer won’t stay on the table forever.”
“We’ve waited a month, though, and the offer only improved,” I counter.
“Yeah, well, do you plan on releasing monthly sex tapes?” Kirby asks. “Because that’s a surefire way to improve your brand.”
Lola scoffs. “Right, until the press decides the sex scandals are unappealing to consumers. Then it will completely destroy everything. You got lucky this time.”
“Lucky is right,” Kirby laughs. “But seriously, Jack, why are you hesitating?”
“I don’t necessarily want to tie my life up this way.”
“What way would you prefer?” Kirby raises his eyebrows, no longer good-humored. “Because contracts like this don’t come around for musicians every year.”
“Or every lifetime,” Lola adds.
“I’ve been working on other stuff, and I want you to shop it around.”
“Jack, we’ve been over this. You can’t rebrand yourself as some indie singer-songwriter. You’ve built a brand as a pop musician.”
“Musician? That’s what we’re calling it?”
“Call it what you want, but your music is popular,” Lola insists. “Have you at all considered a tour with Ashley? Or recording some music with her? I know KMG would be all over it.”
“Enough.” I stand, pissed, and raise my hands, signaling for them to back off. “I’m never working with Ashley again, in any capacity. And, Kirby, I won’t even consider this contract until you listen to my new stuff. Understood?”
Before they can answer, my phone starts buzzing. Looking at the screen I see it’s a call from Emmy.
I answer. “Hello? Everything okay?”
“No, Jack. Tess fainted at her apartment. The security guys insisted on her being brought to the hospital.”
My stomach drops. This is the last thing my girl needs. “Is she okay?”
“I think she’s totally fine, but they were insistent.”
“Shit.” I run my hand over my jaw. “Why did she faint?”
“I don’t know, but she’s at Christ Memorial. Claire is in the ambulance with her, and I’m driving there now with JoJo and McQueen’s mom.”
“Fuck, okay. I’m on my way.”
I pocket my phone and see the concern on Kirby and Lola’s faces.
“It’s Tess. She fainted and was sent to the hospital. But they say she’s going to be all right.”
They visibly relax upon hearing it wasn’t some fatal situation.
“Speaking of Tess,” Lola says, “we need to talk about your relationship, and what you were doing for the past two weeks.”
“Lola, drop it. I was with my woman, who is now in a fucking ambulance. Until you start listening to me, I’m done with this bullshit.”
I grab my wallet and keys, and head to the front door. My bodyguard is trailing me, and it’s taking everything in me to keep my shit together, because I want to go off the rails.
