by Sabrina York
Her mouth tightened. He couldn’t be allowed to find out. Despite what Elena had said, she couldn’t imagine him ever allowing her to stay if he found out she was Jessica’s mother. Until she found another alternative, she would have to act the part of the nanny and nothing more.
Chapter Six
“How are you settling in?” Dom asked her a little over a week later.
Caris paused in the act of lifting the spoon to Jessica’s mouth, which elicited a protesting squeal. “Uh, fine.”
“Do you miss your family and friends?”
She shrugged, unsure how to answer him. Each day, Caris agonized over what price Mandy had paid to borrow the money that enabled her reunion with her daughter. She thought about Trent, wondering how he was doing with the rehabilitation and jail time. She hoped he made it this time. She didn’t miss Topeka or her job, but yes, she missed her friends.
Dom refilled his cup with coffee and topped off hers. “You haven’t left the ranch at all since you arrived.”
“I’ve been busy.”
He nodded. “I thought about taking Jessica to the zoo today. Have you been to the Metro Washington Park in Portland?”
She shook her head.
“Why don’t you come with us? You can squeeze in some shopping after the zoo closes.”
She flinched at the unspoken criticism of her clothing. “I packed for a roughing-it trip,” she bit out. “I didn’t know I would end up here.”
“I didn’t mean anything.” He held up his hands. “I just know a female’s proclivity for spending money.” He gave her a lopsided grin, but there was an edge of bitterness to his words. “So, what do you say? We’ll even take the Prius and not the truck.”
“Well…” Wasn’t it too cold to take Jessica to the zoo?
His expression closed. “You don’t have to. If you would rather spend the day doing something else, that’s fine. I know you haven’t had a day off yet.”
She shook her head. “I was worried about the temperature.”
He relaxed. “Jessie’s a trooper. It’s a fairly nice day, with no rain in sight. They recently got the ZooLights exhibit up.”
“What’s that?”
“They decorate the entire zoo with string lights for Christmas. You get a great view if you take the train ride.”
Caris lifted another spoonful of the banana cereal into her baby’s mouth. “It sounds like fun.”
Dom clapped his hands together. “Great. We’ll visit the zoo, and if there is time, we’ll stop by the Children’s Museum.” He glanced at his watch. “Can you and Jessie be ready in half an hour?”
“Sure.”
“Okay. I’ll meet you downstairs.” He pushed away from the table and left the kitchen after a finger wave at the baby.
Even after he had gone, Caris watched the doorway through which he had disappeared. Why, she didn’t know. Maybe she was hoping for another glimpse of him before she took the baby upstairs.
With a sigh, she returned her attention to Jessica’s feeding, trying to ignore the tingling on the back of her neck, and the tense set of her nerves as she tried to avoid thinking of how the day would be. It meant nothing to him, and it shouldn’t to her. The outing was for the baby. Dom had only been polite when he invited her to go along. Maybe he found the idea of an entire day away from the house daunting if it was just he and Jessica. She was reading too much into it.
With a sigh, she took Jessica’s bowl and bottle to the dishwasher. When had she become so aware of Dom? Not as the impediment to getting her baby, or even as Brendan’s brother, but as a man? Had the realization crept up on her, or had she felt that frisson of awareness from the beginning, but hadn’t acknowledged it until now? She was out of her mind, allowing this attraction to grow. The best thing for everyone would be to nip it in the bud before things got out of hand—not that they were likely to. She was under no illusion that Dom felt any attraction for her. How could he with Lisa panting after him, practically thrusting her ring finger in his face? There was no comparison between his niece’s nanny and his glamorous girlfriend.
Dom slammed the hood of the red Prius after checking the oil. He searched for something else to do—anything to keep him from the house until the appointed meeting time with Caris and the baby.
What had he been thinking, inviting her along? Just the other day, he had resolved to spend less time around the new nanny. That decision came when he caught himself watching the way the sunlight highlighted coppery strands in her brown-sugar hair as she and Jessica sat in the swing on the back porch. He had been disconcerted to find himself studying her through the window of the laundry room, smiling when she smiled; enchanted by the way her nose wrinkled as she sang ridiculously inappropriate songs to the baby; aroused by the way the sweater hugged her breasts, and the way they heaved as she took in deep breaths of the crisp air.
He had finally torn his gaze away and rushed to his study to call Lisa. Even a night spent in her company hadn’t done a thing to remove those innocent, enticing images of Caris from his mind. The evening had culminated in disappointment all around when they arrived back at her condo from the concert hall, and Dom discovered he was unable to perform. Lisa had hid her anger well, but not well enough. On top of his heavy thoughts was the knowledge that he would have to make it up to her soon, before she moved on.
But did he care if Lisa moved on? The question had nagged at him for days. Sure, the relationship had been comfortable before the baby came along, but things had changed. It was no secret she wasn’t fond of Jessica. He couldn’t imagine her holding the baby and singing to her, or being content with their simple life at the M & M. If he married Lisa, it would be a never-ending struggle to preserve his life the way it was now. She would constantly demand a nicer home, more exciting environment, and a large staff of servants. She wouldn’t be content with Corvallis or doing for herself. Had he always known that—and ignored it for the sake of avoiding changes—or had it taken Jessica’s arrival to open his eyes?
He threw the oil rag on the floor of the garage, muttering under his breath. There was more to it than that. He found her beautiful, but unapproachable. Since Caris’s arrival, he had found himself wondering if there was any love in his relationship with Lisa, or if they were just too different. Had sexual attraction and dependability been the only things holding them together?
He had also found himself wondering what it would be like to kiss Caris’s full lips, or snuggle her shapely body against him. Unlike Lisa, she actually had curves, and he could practically feel the softness of her body pressed against his when he closed his eyes at night. Most importantly, she loved Jessica already. There would never be a conflict between his parental and husbandly duties with Caris.
He sighed, knowing it wasn’t fair to compare the two women. They were as different as night and day. Aside from that, he had a sinking feeling that if he studied the matter too closely, he would discover there was no comparison between Caris and Lisa. He wasn’t ready to deal with the consequences of that chain of thought, so he ruthlessly squashed it and hurried into the house to change his oil-stained shirt, while torturing himself with mental images of Caris dressing just down the hall.
She had dressed them both warmly for their day out. Jessica looked a little like a snowman in her wool pants, soft cotton sweater, and white snowsuit. She had tucked a baby jacket inside the bag in case the day proved to be warm enough to dispense with the heavier outerwear.
For herself, Caris had chosen jeans and the burgundy sweater, paired with a turtleneck. The sweater covered the hole in the sleeve, as long as she didn’t take it off. She had thrown her jacket over the ensemble, and felt too warm when they met Dom on the landing.
Or did he make her hot? He wore a blue denim shirt and matching jeans, with a red turtleneck underneath. He had draped a brown bomber jacket over his shoulder, and sunglasses perched on his head. He was smiling at them with that heart-wrenching curl of his lips that showed just a hint of his front teeth
. His face was clean-shaven, giving him a more sophisticated, less rugged look that she still found attractive, in a different way. Caris couldn’t decide whether she preferred him shaved or with stubble. She bit back an infatuated sigh as she handed him the baby, keeping the diaper bag. “Will Elena be joining us?”
Dom shook his head. “She isn’t feeling well.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It’s her arthritis,” he said, as they went down the stairs and through the house to the garage. He had transferred Jessica’s car seat earlier, and he strapped her in within seconds.
Caris slid into the Toyota Prius, admiring the leather interior. It was a small car, but more expensive than anything she had ever owned. Well, except for that ridiculous sports car Brendan bought for her when they lived together, but that had never really been hers. There had been too many strings attached, and she hadn’t even considered taking it when she left him. For all she knew, it was still under a tarp in his garage, where it had remained from the day he brought it home, since she didn’t have a license.
“Penny for them?”
Caris blinked and looked at Dom, who had slid behind the wheel while she daydreamed. “They aren’t worth a penny.”
He shrugged. “How about a freebie?” Dom winced when he realized just how suggestive that sounded. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye, not missing the blush creeping up her neck.
She licked her lips. “I was just thinking how nice this car is.”
“Oh.”
She searched her mind for a way to avoid a long conversation with Dom, finally hitting on the perfect excuse. “If you don’t mind, I think I’ll nap while you drive. Jess kept me up late last night.”
Dom nodded as he lifted the garage door with the remote and backed down the driveway. “You’ve got a couple of hours.”
Caris closed her eyes, pretending to sleep. The truth was, she didn’t know what to say to Dom during the car ride. Her face was still hot from his comment, although he had meant nothing by it. She was too afraid of continuing to read deeper meanings into his words if she attempted to converse with him. Eventually, lulled by the CD of light classical music and the hum of the road under the tires, she did drift off to sleep.
More than an hour later, Dom was humming along with the music when she screamed. He was so startled he jerked on the wheel, sending them swerving onto the shoulder for a moment before he regained control. “Holy hell.” Breathing deeply, he took his gaze off the road to look at her.
Her eyes were wild, and strands of hair, wet with perspiration, hung around her face. She drew in deep breaths almost fast enough to make him worry if she was hyperventilating. Caris’s entire body shook.
His attention was diverted by Jessica’s wail from the back seat. He glanced at her in the rearview mirror after pulling it down. Her face was bright red, but otherwise she seemed fine.
A couple of miles later, Dom saw the sign for the rest area and turned on the signal. Once he had taken the exit and had the car parked in front of the bathrooms, he turned to Caris. Her eyes were huge in her pale face, but she seemed to have regained control. “What happened?”
“Bad dream,” she said in a hoarse voice. Caris unlatched her seatbelt and slid from the car as Dom did the same. She opened the back door and leaned in to retrieve Jessica from her car seat. It was only once the baby was in her arms that she seemed to regain a semblance of control.
Dom ran a hand through his dark hair. “Do you have those dreams often?”
Her mouth tightened. “Upon occasion. Sorry I disturbed you.”
“I’m not worried about me, Caris. Are you okay?”
She nodded, gently bouncing Jessica. “I’m fine. I don’t even remember what I dreamed about.”
He saw the way her eyes slid from his and knew she was lying. He sighed. “Okay.”
“It’s good we stopped. Jessica needs to be changed, and I could use a break.” As she spoke, Caris leaned in the still opened door and retrieved the diaper bag. “We’ll be out in a minute.”
“Take your time. The zoo has just barely opened.” Dom watched her hurry into the beige brick building, clutching his niece. She still seemed unsteady, and he found himself brooding about the dream. Even more disconcerting was her refusal to share it with him. He walked to the soda machine, fishing for quarters. It was useless to speculate about Caris’s dreams or nightmares if she didn’t want to open up to him. And why would she? They were virtual strangers who had been thrown together.
Dom put quarters in the machine and got two Cokes. He started to move away when an older woman stepped up to the candy machine. He smiled at her and took another step before her voice stopped him.
“You have a lovely family.”
“What?”
Her head jerked with tremors as she fumbled with the dollar changer. “I saw your wife and baby get out of the car, then again in the bathroom. They were both lovely. Such a resemblance.”
Dom frowned. “Thanks,” he said as he moved back to the car. It was easier to be polite than explain Caris wasn’t his wife, and she wasn’t Jessica’s mother. He looked up as they walked toward him, summoning a bland smile, which she returned with equal lack of emotion. How different would life be if Caris were her mother, and he was Jessica’s father? What would it have been like to have planned a child instead of having fatherhood thrust upon him? He couldn’t help but speculate how good it would have felt to make that baby the old-fashioned way, holding Caris in his arms.
“All set,” she said as she stopped beside him.
For a moment, he thought she had somehow read his thoughts and was accepting, but then blinked away the foolish notion. “Great. The monkeys await.”
They arrived at the zoo a little past ten. The parking lot was only half-full, and there was no line, so they got their admission and train tickets quickly. Dom pushed Jessica’s stroller in the direction of the mountain goats. “I thought we could follow the trail to the train station.”
Caris shrugged. “That’s fine with me.” She pushed her cold hands into the jacket’s pockets, shivering despite the tepid sunshine and forty-five degree weather. When they stopped at the mountain goat enclosure, she got closer to Dom than she might have normally, using him as a windbreak.
“See the goats, Jessica?” Dom lifted her from the stroller so she could get a better view.
“Just like the Three Billy Goats,” Caris said.
“Without the troll.” Dom winked at her. His voice lowered to a whisper as he leaned closer. “I don’t think she cares.”
Caris nodded. “She seems more interested in the squirrel up on the tree.”
He laughed and lowered her back into the stroller. “Had enough goats?”
“Yes.” She trailed slightly behind him, shivering again. Caris bit back a protest when he pulled her to his side and draped an arm around her. It was awkward to be so close to him, but his body heat felt too good to refuse. It was only his body heat that felt good, she told herself.
They walked up an incline, across the bridge, to the Stellar cows exhibit. Jessica was equally unimpressed with the sea creatures. Instead, she spent her time tugging on the red zipper of Dom’s navy windbreaker.
“She’s too young,” he said, with a shake of his head.
She shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt to expose her to new experiences early on.”
“We can enjoy it.” He grinned at her as they stopped by the tigers. The cats were shy, and they waited five minutes for them to make an appearance before Jessica protested. They moved on. As they made their way to the train station, he put his arm around Caris once more. “I remember the first time Mom brought me to the zoo. Dad was supposed to, but there was an emergency.” His mouth twisted. “Sylvie persuaded him to take Brendan to the doctor because of an ear infection.”
“Who’s Sylvie?”
“Dad’s second wife.” He grimaced. “She was his mistress for six years until she was smart enough to play the pregnanc
y trump card.”
A lump of moisture caught in her throat. “Trump card?”
“Mom was unable to have more children because of the arthritis. Dad wanted another heir, and he left without looking back.” Dom sounded bitter when he added, “He wanted to do everything right with his second son, since he had messed up with me.”
She frowned. “How far apart were you?”
“Four years.” Dom’s grin looked forced. “Anyway, I survived my childhood.”
She returned his smile, deciding not to push. “Better than Brendan, obviously.”
He lifted a brow. “Hm?”
She swallowed, kicking herself for blurting out her thoughts. “Uh, well, you’re obviously the more responsible brother.”
His puzzled expression relaxed. Dom turned away from the tigers and pushed a strand of hair off her face. “I bet you were a beautiful kid.”
She shuddered at the words, remembering foster father number four, who had complimented her all the time. Even at the age of nine, she had known his interest was more than fatherly. That had been the one time she made a conscious effort to get herself removed from a home. “Eh.”
He laughed. “Eh? What does that mean?”
“No opinion either way.”
Dom nodded. “What was your childhood like?”
“Never-ending,” she said without thought.
“You really enjoyed it?”
Caris’s lip curled. “No. It seemed those twelve years in foster care never ended.”
Dom’s arms tightened around her. “I had no idea.”
