What to Read After FSOG: The Gemstone Collection (WTRAFSOG Book 8)

by Sabrina York

  Dom turned around and pulled her against him. “We can’t. Not in here. My mother might hear. She wouldn’t approve, and I don’t want to hurt her.”

  “What about Jessica?”

  “She’s sleeping through the night now.” He took her hand and led her to the door. He didn’t even allow her time to grab a coat.

  As soon as they stepped onto the porch, tremors racked her body. “It’s freezing. I can’t walk through the snow in slippers.”

  Dom nodded and lifted her into his arms. She bit back a sound of surprise as he strode through the thin accumulation of snow in bare feet. When he walked around the side of the house, she finally realized his destination. There was a small glass enclosure with a hot tub inside. The room wasn’t heated, but once in the water, they wouldn’t notice.

  He set her down on the ground to open the door. The snow immediately soaked through her slippers, bringing a shred of sanity with the icy sensation. She shook her head when he turned back to her. “I can’t. We can’t, Dom.”

  He groaned. “Please, Caris.”

  “No.” She took a step backward. “I can’t do this.” Fear suddenly clawed its way into her stomach as she remembered the feel of Brendan’s body pressing her down into the carpet. “I’m sorry.”

  He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t understand. I know you want me.”

  She nodded, her eyes wide and glimmering with tears.

  “Then why not? Do you get off on playing the tease?”

  Caris flinched at the accusation and fled back to the house. He called after her, but she continued to run until she slid on the snow and fell. Sobs overtook her, and she bowed her head, kneeling on her hands and knees on the ground. She pulled away when he knelt beside her and reached out to touch her.

  “Oh, God, I’m sorry. That was stupid. I know you aren’t a tease.” Dom ignored her resistance as he lifted her in his arms. “It’s my fault for pushing you. I shouldn’t have gotten angry when you changed your mind.”

  She sniffed back tears as he carried her into the house, closing the door behind them. “I didn’t mean to lead you on.”

  He nodded and set her on her feet. “You didn’t. I just wish I could understand why you won’t make love with me. I know you want me as much as I want you.”

  She looked up hesitantly, meeting his eyes. “I do, but… Please, just take my word for it. I’m not capable of—”

  Anger tinged his expression. “I wish I had the bastard who hurt you in front of me right now.”

  She didn’t bother to deny his deduction. “So you could be like him?” she whispered. “I wouldn’t lo—feel the way about you that I do if you were that kind of man.”

  He gripped her arms. “How do you feel about me?”

  She moistened her lips before answering. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing can come from it.” She turned away, but he caught her hand. She paused and looked back at him.

  “You’re afraid of what will happen to Jessie if things go sour.”

  She nodded at his statement.

  “Marry me. You’ll know I’m serious then.” He stepped closer and touched her cheek. “I want to reassure you that I want more from you than a tumble in bed.”

  “I know—” His mouth stole the rest of her words. This kiss was gentle, but still with a hint of passion. Confusion filled her when he lifted his head. What was he trying to do to her?

  “I think I’ve fallen in love with you. Marry me, please.”

  She tore her hand from his and backed away. “I can’t. I won’t ever get married.” Caris whirled around and ran from the room. She didn’t stop running until she was in the nanny room and had locked the door behind her. Then she threw herself across the bed and dissolved into a storm of tears. She longed to tell him yes, but too much stood between them. Truth, lies, and the past were all insurmountable. Their relationship would never work out if she gave in to her heart and married him. She would have to make him accept that or leave M & M forever. But how could she tear herself away from her daughter or from him? Despite her best intentions, things had gotten much too complicated. Falling in love with Dom had never been part of her foolhardy plan.

  Chapter Nine

  Caris slept fitfully and rose with a dull headache pounding behind her eyes. She saw to Jessica as quickly as possible before carrying her downstairs. Butterfly colonies in her stomach made their presence known as she entered the kitchen. Her eyes immediately fell on Dom. She avoided his gaze as she strapped Jessica in the highchair and went to the cupboard to fix her breakfast.

  Elena looked up from the morning paper for a second. Her eyes seemed to drill into Caris before moving to Dom. She made a low sound in the back of her throat and returned her attention to the paper.

  As Caris returned to the table with the bottle and baby food, she noticed Dom had laid out a plate for her. She found a brief smile for him before she turned her attention to the baby after dropping into a chair.

  Jessica seemed reluctant to eat, and cried more than usual. Caris frowned as she shoved the bottle away again. “Dom.”

  He looked up from the bowl of oatmeal he had appeared to be so studiously studying. “Yeah?”

  “I think Jess may be sick.”

  He reached out to touch her forehead. “You may be right. She feels hot to me. I’ll call for an appointment.”

  “There’s no need unless her temperature spikes above 100.”

  He lifted a brow. “How would you know? You don’t have kids.”

  She blushed. “It’s just common sense.” Imparted by Jessica’s old doctor, she wanted to add.

  “I’d feel better if you took her in,” Elena said as she folded the paper. “She’s so small.”

  Caris didn’t protest when Dom went to the phone and dialed the doctor’s number listed there. Instead, she focused on eating the eggs and toast while he spoke to the receptionist or nurse. Her churning stomach made the task difficult.

  He sighed when he returned to the table. “There’s no reason to bring her in unless she hits 100.” He turned to glower at Caris. “I guess you were right.”

  Her brow furrowed at his annoyed tone. She ignored his grumpy attitude, knowing her lack of sleep would cause her to respond in the same manner.

  A silence filled the room, with only the sound of Jessica banging a teether on the highchair breaking it from time to time. She banged too hard and it fell to the floor, causing her to whine. By the time Dom retrieved the toy and washed it, she had worked herself up to wailing. She refused to take the ring when he offered it.

  He laid the toy on the table and lifted her from the chair. Then he paced around the kitchen until she quieted. “There. All better—”

  As soon as he stopped walking, she started screaming again. He resumed pacing, and she stopped crying. The cycle repeated each time he tried to sit down. Finally, he walked to the phone again and demanded an appointment, almost yelling to be heard over Jessica’s screams.

  Caris took pity on him and lifted Jessica from his arms. He gave her a grateful look, turned his back, and pressed the phone closer to his ear. She began the trek around the kitchen, whispering soothing words to her daughter, to no avail. When he got off the phone, she was ready to take in the baby too.

  “They can squeeze her in between appointments. I said we’d arrive in about an hour.”

  “Do I have time to take her temperature first?” Caris asked, concerned by how flushed the baby had gotten, and in such a short span of time.

  He looked at his watch. “Yeah, if you hurry. We have to drive to Eugene.” Then he lifted the phone to call the office.

  Caris took her upstairs and used the ear thermometer—a convenience she never could have afforded when she and Jessica lived in Topeka. She frowned at the 101 on the digital readout and took time to bathe the baby’s face and back with cool water before bundling her into a snowsuit. Then they hurried downstairs.

  Dom frowned when they entered the room. “It’s twenty degrees outside, Caris
.”

  “She has her snowsuit—”

  “Your jacket won’t be adequate.” He strode to the mudroom and returned with a bulky suede coat. “Wear this.”

  She handed him the baby, took off the Oregon Zoo fleece jacket, and slipped on his coat. Tiny frissons of awareness raced through her body as her nose absorbed the scent of him on the velour lining. She resisted the urge to bury her face in the garment and inhale deeply as she followed him from the house.

  The clinic was crowded, with an assortment of children suffering varying afflictions. Dom steered clear of a kid with large red bumps, as did most of the other parents. He insisted on moving again when the toddler near them burst out with a croupy cough.

  Caris’s eyes followed the slow movement of the clock on the wall as it ticked on a cyclic path. Nearly an hour of its journey was complete before the waiting room had thinned, and the nurse called them back.

  After weighing a fussy Jessica, they were shown to an exam room. The nurse told them to remove her clothes to the diaper, and left after getting another temperature reading.

  Jessica seemed interested only in being held. Once in her diaper, she lay in Dom’s arms, shivering. Caris rummaged through the drawers until she found a small blanket to wrap around her. Then she sat on the bench beside them, fighting back tears.

  He slowly patted the baby’s back, and she eventually nodded off. He turned his head and caught Caris with tears in her eyes. “She’ll be okay.”

  She nodded, incapable of responding, for fear of giving into her sobs.

  His eyes studied her intently. “You really love her, don’t you?”

  “She’s my whole world,” she said in a voice thick with tears.

  Dom shifted Jessica to one arm and put his other around Caris. He didn’t repeat his offer of marriage, or point out the baby could be hers if she wasn’t so stubborn, to her everlasting gratitude. Instead, he offered silent strength, and a shoulder for her tears.

  After another long wait, the doctor entered. He was in his early fifties, with graying hair, a mustache, and baby-smooth hands. His smile seemed distant, but still held a note of concern. “Is this Jessica McNeil?”

  Dom nodded and withdrew his arm from around Caris.

  “Lay her on the table, Mr. McNeil.”

  Jessica whimpered as he stood and cried when he laid her down. Caris pressed against his side, anxious to reassure the baby. She touched her foot.

  The doctor glanced up and smiled at her, and did a double take. “There certainly is a resemblance between the two of you,” he said, before he turned his attention to Jessica.

  Caris was too concerned to be afraid of Dom making a connection from the doctor’s observation.

  After an exam, Dr. Walsh laid aside his stethoscope. “Has she received all immunizations for her age?”

  Caris almost said yes, before remembering that in her role as the nanny she wouldn’t know that information.

  Dom shrugged. “From what I know of her parents, probably not.”

  “I think it’s just a viral infection, but I want to immunize her before you leave.”

  “No!”

  All eyes turned to Caris at her outburst. Even Jessica’s, round and confused, fastened on her.

  “Mrs. McNeil?”

  She didn’t bother to correct his assumption. “Uh, well, what if she’s had the shots already?”

  “It won’t hurt her to get a second round. It’s better to be safe than sorry.”

  “Won’t she get sick or something?”

  He nodded. “She might, but that’s a normal reaction to the shots anyway. I would feel better ensuring she’s up-to-date.”

  She couldn’t continue to protest without raising Dom’s suspicions, so she nodded.

  “Let’s hold off, Doctor,” Dom said abruptly. “I’ll ask my brother to find out.”

  Caris looked up at him and found him looking down at her. He wore a troubled expression, mixed with an emotion she couldn’t define. She bit her lip as his gaze shifted from her to Jessica, and then back again. He appeared to be mulling over something.

  Dr. Walsh sighed. “I suppose it won’t hurt to hold off until she’s feeling better, but you’ll need to find out soon, in case she isn’t protected. Those diseases are nothing to play around with.”

  “Thank you,” Caris said.

  “She’ll need a humidifier and over-the-counter cold medicine. I’ll give her some medicine to lower the fever before you leave.” He stripped off his gloves and wrote on Jessica’s chart.

  “Is it okay to take her shopping? We don’t have a humidifier at the house.”

  “That’s fine, Mr. McNeil. Just keep her warmly bundled outside. A change in scenery might even distract her from how bad she’s feeling. Don’t tire her out, of course.”

  Before returning to the M & M, Dom stopped at the Gateway Mall, and they entered the Christmas crush. He held Jessica close, and casually slipped an arm around Caris’s waist. “I don’t want to lose you in here.”

  She nodded. “I can’t believe it’s less than two weeks until Christmas.” She had never had any reason to get excited over the holiday before. Once she started living on her own, she had generally skipped right over December 25th. Last year, Mandy had put up a tiny tree on the coffee table. They had exchanged cheap gifts and eaten Swanson’s Turkey from the microwave, along with canned cranberries.

  “I nearly forgot.” Dom laughed. “I’ll bet Mom hasn’t. She goes all out every year. She has a party and hires caterers. This year, she’s probably in seventh heaven with a baby in the house again. You and Jessica will love it.”

  They made it to the closest pharmacy outlet to purchase the humidifier, and battled their way to the exit. As they passed the Santa line, Jessica babbled and waved her arm.

  “Do you think she’s asking to see Santa?” Dom asked.

  She couldn’t resist a hint of sarcasm when she said, “Well, she’s not quite six-months-old yet, so probably not.” She gave him a big grin to show she was teasing.

  He shook his head and got in line.

  “Dom, we’ll be here all day.”

  He shrugged. “Don’t be a spoilsport.”

  She sighed. “Fine. I’m going to do some shopping while you wait.”

  He fumbled in his coat pocket and removed a pager. “Here. I’ll call you with my cell phone when we’re done.”

  She slipped the box in her purse. “I bet I’m done before you.” With a quick kiss for Jessica, she merged into the crowd of shoppers, making her way to a clothing store she had spotted on the way to the pharmacy. She made a few selections, still carefully budgeting the money in her wallet. She had received her second paycheck and had enough to repay Mandy the $5,000. Above that, she had a few hundred. She had no idea how she might have to use that money, so she planned to be cautious with spending it.

  Once her purchases were wrapped, Caris stopped by two more stores to buy Christmas gifts for Elena and Dom. She didn’t shop for Jessica yet, knowing she would get carried away with her selections. Her daughter’s first Christmas called for all-out splurging.

  The pager beeped as she neared the Santa display. Dom and Jessica stood away from the line. The baby lay against his shoulder, sleeping. When he caught sight of Caris, he folded the cell phone and put it back in his pocket.

  She stopped beside them. “Did you get the picture?”

  He shook his head. “She fell asleep, and I know how cranky she’s been, so I didn’t want to wake her for a picture. Did you get your shopping done?”

  “I still want to pick up a few gifts for the baby, but I’m mostly done.” She touched Jessica’s cheek and was pleased to find she had cooled considerably.

  As they walked out of the mall, Dom wrapped a blanket around Jessica and held her inside his coat. At the Prius, he was careful to keep every inch of her covered during the transfer to her car seat.

  A warm smile teased Caris’s lips as she watched him take care of the baby. His tenderness was evid
ent with every move of his hard body. Not for the first time, she noticed how he was such a contrast—strong enough to hurt the baby beyond repair, but so gentle that Jessica might have been made of glass. Tears balled in her throat, and she swallowed them down as she slid into the passenger seat.

  Dom slid in behind the wheel and started the car a moment later. “I called Mom,” he said as he negotiated the parking lot. “She was relieved to hear the baby will be fine.”

  “Um hmm.”

  “You know, you’ve never mentioned your mother, Caris.” His tone was casual, but his eyes were watchful. “You haven’t said much about anyone.”

  “I lived in foster homes. I told you that.” She slouched in the seat and kept her face turned toward the window.

  “For twelve years. What about the six before that?”

  She shrugged. “It’s not a pretty story, from what I’ve heard.” She only truly remembered snatches of those six years.

  “I don’t care. I want to know more about you.”

  She whipped her head around to meet his eyes. “Why?”

  “Call me curious.” His eyes slid from hers.

  She reeled off the facts rapid-fire, with absolutely no emotion. “My father went to prison for robbery. My mother turned to prostitution to make ends meet. She got a live-in keeper who liked little girls a little too much. When she found him trying to touch me, she stabbed him in the neck.”

  Dom’s eyes widened. “Did he die?”

  “No, but the cops and Social Service got involved. They decided she wasn’t fit and removed me.” Her even tone belied the emotions churning inside her. She didn’t remember much of the life she had lived with her mother, but she remembered the day the social worker came and took her away. She had clung to her mother, screaming and crying. She had sworn to be a good girl if Mommy would let her stay. Caris remembered the mascara-trail of tears streaming down her mother’s face, and the words her mother had hurled at the CPS woman and two cops. She remembered seeing her mother attack one of the officers, who restrained her. Caris’s last sight of her mother, before the woman lifted and carried her from their dingy apartment, had been of her pinned beneath a burly cop, being handcuffed. She had still been screaming Caris’s name.