by Susan Meier
From the second he’d walked in the door, he’d seen signs of her and Oswald everywhere. A pipe in an ashtray. Vacation pictures. Comfortable sofas in the living room beside the foyer. Throw rugs to catch dirt from shoes. Colorful afghans on chairs for chilly winter nights. People lived in that house and it showed.
While his house was big and cold and certainly not kid-friendly.
Most of that he could fix with a remodel. But he couldn’t change the fact that his house was sterile, unless he brought more people into his life. His first thought was Claire. She’d be the perfect mother for Bella. She’d brighten the house more than any remodel possibly could. And he wanted her. He’d sleep with her in a heartbeat and she’d sleep with him. He knew she had feelings for him. Strong feelings. She couldn’t keep them out of her eyes, her voice. She wasn’t just attracted to him. She liked him.
But she wanted a real home, not the shell she’d have with a man too repressed to feel emotions. Forget about expressing them.
Driving away from the house he’d shared with the last woman he’d hurt, he knew he couldn’t draw Claire into a relationship. It wouldn’t be fair.
Which took him to his family.
Since the water battle with Claire, he’d been thinking about his sisters. Charlotte was now married and had a child. A baby. Maybe having another baby around was what Bella needed?
His heart lifted. Charlotte was the closest of his siblings. He could see Bella playing with her baby. But Charlotte lived in Italy now. Though her visits would be special, they would be few and far between. He needed more. Bella needed more. People to come and go. People who populated pictures on his mantel, pictures he’d take at picnics and on vacations with aunts, uncles, cousins.
A family.
He needed to make more of an effort with his sisters. He’d been cold. He’d been distant. Because he’d been hurt by Cedric. But punishing his sisters for things Cedric had said had been wrong. Plus, Cedric was sick now. It was time to let go of the past.
Still, he needed to vet this with someone. See if it really was the good idea he thought it was. And Claire, like always, was available. “I’ve been thinking a lot about my family.”
Claire faced him, but her voice was cool when she said, “Because of the reunion?”
“And Bella.” He cautiously caught her gaze. “And the water fight. I know this is going to sound weird, but I miss my sisters as kids. I’d like to bring them back into my life so Bella would have family. A big family. Lots of family.”
“That sounds very nice.”
He put his head back. “Problem is I don’t know them as adults. I was the oldest. I left for school at eighteen. Didn’t even visit. I told my mom I needed my weekends and holidays to work.” He peeked over at her. “And that wasn’t a lie. I did need to work.”
“But you actually stayed away because you were angry with your stepdad?”
“And I took it out on everybody.”
“So you’ve barely seen them.”
He nodded. “I’ve attended a function here and there. But that’s it.”
“So maybe this reunion would be a great chance to catch up?”
“It would.” He reached over and ran his finger across the tiny hand Bella had resting on the bumper pad that kept her in the car seat. She caught it and cooed. “I want Bella to have family.”
“That’s really good!”
He frowned. He knew that news would make her happy. But after her being nothing but cool in this conversation, her overly bright response was out of place. It was as if she’d noticed he hadn’t included her in the equation. If it hurt her, she wouldn’t show it. But by not arguing or asking why she wasn’t included, it also proved she accepted it. He was shoving her out of his life because that’s what he always did. He wouldn’t commit to another woman. The visit to Ginny’s house should have shown her why she should be glad to get away while she could.
When they reached his house, she quickly undid Bella and carried her inside. Walking up the stairway, she told him she didn’t want his help putting the baby to bed.
He wasn’t surprised. She was cutting ties. The way they should be. So he didn’t press to join her and Bella in the nursery. He walked back to the den.
Even before he reached his desk, the phone rang.
“Matt Patterson.”
“Hey, big brother!”
“Charlotte?”
“Yep. Look, I know you’re going to hate this, but I promised I’d call you and tell you so I’m just going to spit it out.”
Fearing the worst, he fell to his chair. “So spit.”
“Holt’s called a family meeting for tomorrow. He wants us all on the same page before the Larkville festivities start next Wednesday.”
Holt. The man who would be the family patriarch had Matt not been born a few months earlier. His first reaction was to want to dig in his heels and refuse to come. But after his thoughts that day, he sat back on his seat, considered a different path.
“Will Alex and Ellie be there?” he asked, referring to his and Charlotte’s other two sisters.
“They’re already here.”
He squeezed his eyes shut. It was now or never. Swallow his pride and do what had to be done, or worry that Bella would grow up alone, as isolated as he was. He glanced around his quiet, quiet den. Even knowing Claire and Bella were upstairs, the house was hollow, empty. Missing something that could only be filled by people. Family.
He blew out his breath. “Okay, count me in. I can’t be there until afternoon, but I’ll be there.”
He heard the surprise in her voice as she said, “Family meeting’s at six. Let me know when you arrive and I’ll pick you up at the airstrip.”
He hung up the phone with butterflies in his stomach. He didn’t know how he was supposed to blend into this family, when technically he should be the leader. But if he demanded his place as leader, he’d undoubtedly alienate everyone.
Sighing, he rose from his chair. He’d figure something out.
* * *
Upstairs with Bella, Claire couldn’t shake a huge case of guilt. After the cool way she’d treated Matt at Ginny’s, and the even cooler way she’d reacted when he tried to talk to her about his family, it just didn’t feel right to be leaving the next day. Yes, there was no defense for his ignoring Ginny in favor of proving himself to his stepdad, but she could have said something consoling. Maybe even said that the way he worked to become a real father to Bella proved he wasn’t the same guy who’d constantly deserted Ginny. He was changing.
But that was the whole point, wasn’t it? He was changing. Slowly. But still, he was changing. And when he’d finally talked about Ginny, she’d given him the cold shoulder, wouldn’t console him. She’d let him stew.
When he’d most needed her, she’d emotionally deserted him.
She rocked Bella on the rocker, let her snuggle with her dog and blanket and listened to the happy baby murmurs of a little girl finally reunited with a few things that brought her comfort. Though one kind of peace settled over her, it only shined a light on how uneasy she felt about Matt.
It had been so wrong not to comfort him, but he’d told her to butt out of his life. So she had. She had for her own self-protection as much as to comply with his order. She already worried that she was falling in love with him. And he didn’t want to reciprocate those feelings. She’d be crazy to think otherwise.
Still...he needed her. She knew he needed her. Getting back with his family, making amends, wouldn’t be easy. He’d need somebody in his corner.
And this time tomorrow she’d be gone.
* * *
Matt called the nanny service and canceled the interviews scheduled for the following day. Then he talked to his pilot and called Charlotte back with an arrival time. As he hung up the phone from talking to his sister, Claire walked into the room.
“How’s Bella?”
“Sleeping like an angel, happily hugging her blanket and dog.”
F
inally, finally, things were working out. Now he just had to tell Claire that as of tomorrow, at about noon, her services would no longer be required.
His heart squeezed at that, but he ignored it. She deserved a good man. He was not a good man. The fun they’d had in the water battle was an aberration. Being so comfortable in his bathroom, a mistake. He needed to let her go.
“Would you mind taking a seat?”
She hesitated, then pasted on a smile. He could tell she knew what was coming. Even if he hadn’t decided to go to Larkville, she would have been able to go home tomorrow after the nanny came on the job. A smart woman, she would understand it was time to discuss her leaving.
“I just got a call from my sister. It seems my half brother Holt has called a family meeting for tomorrow.”
“A family meeting?”
“Our Calhoun/Patterson reunion is tied up with a community festival. They’ll be honoring my biological father at a big party next Saturday.”
“Oh.”
“I don’t know Holt, but if he’s smart he’s probably getting us all there early to give us time to talk through the fact that the man being honored actually has twins he didn’t know.”
She frowned.
“Ellie and I were conceived in my mother and Clay’s very short marriage. He never knew about us because his soon-to-be new wife hid the letter my mother sent informing him of her pregnancy.”
Her eyes widened. “You’re a twin?”
He almost smiled. She didn’t bat an eye at the scandal surrounding Clay Calhoun never knowing his kids. But she was agog over the fact that he was a twin. “Yes. My sister’s name is Ellie.”
She gaped at him. “How can you have a twin and not talk about her?”
“I told you. I haven’t really spoken to most of my family in a decade. But that’s over now and I’ve decided to go to the family meeting. Which means I leave tomorrow.”
“Well, I guess that’s great. You know...for your family and all.”
“It is and it isn’t. Because I’m leaving early, I had to cancel the nanny interviews....”
She frowned. “So who’ll be staying with Bella?”
“I’m taking her with me.”
“By yourself?”
He’d planned on getting help from his sisters once they were in Texas but he’d forgotten about the plane ride itself. And from the expression on Claire’s face he guessed it wasn’t a good idea for him to travel with a baby alone.
Before he could say anything, she looked away.
He didn’t blame her. After the distant way he’d behaved since their discussion of the water battle, she wasn’t going to volunteer. But, of course, after the way he’d behaved, asking her to accompany him now would not be construed as anything other than the favor it would be. So maybe it was a blessing they’d had their spat?
“I know it’s an imposition to ask, but could you come with us?”
She said nothing.
“I wouldn’t ask, but it’s important for me to go to that meeting tomorrow.” He leaned back in his chair. “Technically, I’m the oldest. Holt’s the oldest of his family, but I’m our father’s first son. I should be family patriarch.”
Her gaze snapped to his. “You’re not going down there to start a fight, are you?”
He laughed. “No, I am not going down there to fight.”
“Then why is it suddenly so important?”
“I told you. Not only is Holt apparently staving off potentially embarrassing scenes, but also I came to some conclusions today. I want Bella to have a family. I’m willing to do more than compromise.”
She studied him. “Really?”
He sucked in a breath. “Yeah. I just don’t know yet what I’m going to do or how I’m going to do it, but I want at least my sisters in Bella’s life. If I have to swallow my pride to do it, I will.”
Laughing, she shook her head. “Well, I’ll be damned.”
“Don’t make fun. This isn’t going to be easy for me.”
Slowly, she brought her gaze to meet his. “It might not be easy but it’s the right thing. I’m not making fun of you. I’m proud of you.”
Warmth spiraled through him at her praise. The truth was he was a tad proud of himself for being willing to make the first moves to get his family back. And not for himself. For Bella. In the past few days he’d done all kinds of good things. He’d been changing with leaps and bounds, genuinely understanding the right things for Bella, and he had Claire to thank for that.
He cleared his throat. Now was not the time to be thinking good thoughts about Claire. He’d finally resolved their situation in his mind. He didn’t want those strange feelings he had for her bubbling up again, confusing things. Especially since he needed her again.
Before he could say anything, she did. “I’ll go with you.”
“You will?”
“Yes. You’re going to make a good daddy, Matt
Patterson. And if my spending a few more days with you and Bella helps that along, then I’ll go to Texas.” She laughed and rose from her seat. “I better do some laundry, get my jeans and shirts washed since that’s all the clothes I have.”
She left the room and Matt stared after her. No ranting or raving about clothes. No telling him what she needed. She was doing this only for Bella and him. Getting nothing out of it for herself. Yet, she just left the room to do some laundry as if favors were an everyday occurrence for her.
She was definitely too good for him.
* * *
The next morning, Claire called Joni.
“We’re taking the baby to Texas.”
“And you’re calling because you don’t think you’ll be back on Monday?”
“I have no idea when we’ll get back.” She winced. “Matt actually talked about a banquet next Saturday night. I’m going to need another week off.”
“Okay. As your boss, I’m fine with another week off. As you’re friend, my reaction is... What the hell are you thinking?”
She laughed. “He took everything to another level yesterday. He isn’t just determined to be a good dad for Bella. He’s also reuniting with his family. He hasn’t really been involved in his family in years and, because of Bella, he’s taking steps to be in their lives again.”
“Seriously? Claire. This is not your problem. There’s always going to be one more thing with this guy and before you know it you’re going to have been his temporary nanny for a year...or two...with no pay!”
“I’m helping a friend.” She paused, wincing, knowing how bad this sounded, but convinced she was doing the right thing. “Matt’s a good guy. Bella’s a sweet baby. None of this has been easy for him, but I know my being around has helped him and I can’t desert him now.”
She didn’t mention that she’d left him to flounder on the trip to Ginny’s house and still felt bad about that. She didn’t mention the funny catch in her heart when she thought about how hard he’d worked and how far he’d come. She also didn’t mention that she worried that she was falling in love with him, because that didn’t count. She knew the compromises he was making for Bella and his family were difficult enough. There wasn’t any room in his head or his heart for a romance. No matter how much she liked him or how much she wanted it, he didn’t. She would remember that.
“And I promise, once we get back from Texas, that will be it. I will walk away.”
“I hope so.”
“I will.”
She disconnected the call and fed Bella some cereal. A few minutes later, Matt stumbled into the kitchen. Wearing his navy striped pajamas without a robe, he looked sleepy and sexy and, oh, so huggable.
She wanted to swoon, but didn’t. If she was going to behave as she’d told Joni she would, and keep her heart intact, then this was a business trip for her. She might see a good side of him. She might desperately want to help him. She might even be more attracted to him than she’d ever been to another man, but he’d warned her off several times. She would handle this trip like
a professional.
“What time are we leaving for Texas?”
“What time do you want to go?”
“Well, I washed my jeans and my few tops last night, so I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”
He turned. “You don’t want to go home and get more clothes?”
She shrugged. Unable to think of anything she’d like to take with her, she said, “I have no idea what the weather will be like or how the locals will dress. I’d like to wait and see what everyone else wears. Then I can pick up a few things while I’m there.”
He said, “Okay,” and faced the coffeepot again.
He played with Bella as he drank his coffee, cementing her belief that he was a nice guy who deserved her help.
While he packed a bag for himself, she packed a bag for Bella. Jimmy drove them to the airport.
When she saw Matt’s plane, her eyebrows rose in surprise. “It’s kinda small.”
“I have no need for a bigger plane.”
“Just thought you’d want to be a little fancy.”
Carrying Bella, while Jimmy handed their luggage to the eager flight crew, Matt said, “Wait until you see the inside.”
The inside was white leather. Soft-cushioned seats that looked like recliners greeted them. He showed her a big-screen TV along a back wall that they could watch in-flight because their seats completely turned around.
The plane taxied and was airborne in a few minutes. Bella fell asleep immediately and Matt showed Claire how to work the TV before he pulled some papers from a briefcase. A comfortable silence settled over them.
She smiled and relaxed against the seat, pleased that everything was calm and content. She had nothing to worry about. They were friends.
A tug on her heart reminded her that she wanted to be more than friends, but she ignored it.
He didn’t want her. She wouldn’t want him.
When they landed at the small airstrip in front of a hangar at the back of the ranch, Matt unbuckled his seat belt and immediately reached for the one securing Bella’s safety seat. He unclicked a few buckles, unsnapped a few snaps and lifted her out of the seat.
