Louisiana 08 - While Passion Sleeps

by Shirlee Busbee

  It was an innocent relationship on Beth's part. Sebastian was a charming rogue who made her smile and laugh and who instilled in her a gaiety she had never before experienced. He reminded her ever so much of a half-grown, forward puppy, certain of his welcome, playful and adorable, but not to be taken seriously. That more than one young lady on board the packet thought differently did not escape Beth, but she realized that while Sebastian might cause other hearts to beat a little faster hers never would. She enjoyed his company, she couldn't help but be flattered that a gentleman of his attributes found her company exhilarating. He completely ignored several languishing young ladies and gravitated with gratifying promptness in her direction whenever she appeared.

  It was Sebastian who escorted Mrs. Ridgeway during her promenades along the deck; it was Sebastian who sat with her during the evenings in the main lounge and played harmless card games fit only for older ladies and young children; and it was Sebastian who amused her at the breakfast and luncheon table—while Nathan slept off' a night spent gaming and drinking. Consequently it was no wonder Beth and Sebastian became such close friends.

  The short journey to Galveston was nearing its end. The evening before they were to arrive in the port city, left alone as usual, Beth and Sebastian took a long stroll around the deck, stopping every now and then to stare out at the gently rolling waves and to talk of this and that.

  Beth was looking especially lovely, her violet eyes bright with pleasure as they spoke of their arrival the next day in Galveston. The silvery-ash hair had been pulled up into a cluster of soft curls on the top of her head with a ruby velvet ribbon threaded throughout the thick hair, and, staring at the enchanting profile thus afforded him, Sebastian wondered again, as he had so frequently, how Nathan could prefer the pleasures of the gaming tables to the enjoyment of his very beautiful young wife.

  A frown creasing his wide forehead, Sebastian couldn't help himself from asking, "Beth, does Nathan lose a great deal of money?" Seeing the slight reserve that flashed across her face, he cursed himself for asking such a personal question. "I apologize," he said abruptly. "I did not mean to pry."

  Beth smiled faintly, not really blaming him for asking the question—Nathan's preoccupation with the gaming tables had been flagrant these past few days and it was only natural that someone as kind as Sebastian would be concerned. But she wasn't about to discuss her husband with this young man, and so gently she said, ''Don't apologize. Let's just pretend that you never asked that question, shall we? The night is too lovely to be spoiled by quarreling."

  '1 certainly cannot take exception to that idea," Se-• bastian agreed easily enough, his mouth curving wryly. But still the thought lingered that the Ridgeways must have an extremely odd marriage—especially when he recalled the beautiful young man who seemed always to be at Nathan's side since the two had met three days before. He was a silly young fop by the name of Reginald Percy. Sebastian discerned a distasteful air of intimacy between the two. It was a damned odd situation. God knew, he wouldn't allow his wife to be so friendly with an out-and-out rake like himself and certainly he wouldn't leave her alone for hours on end while he clung happily to the arm of a willow-slim young man and gambled the night away. If Beth were his wife, he wouldn't be able to let her out of his sight... or his bed, he decided with a wicked, fleeting grin. Again his gaze traveled lightly over Beth's slender body and he sighed.

  She was so lovely and so damned unaware of him as a man, he thought, half amused, half angry.

  Completely oblivious of Sebastian's frustration, Beth murmured lightly, "I shall be sorry to say good-bye to you tomorrow. I have so enjoyed your company on the packet—it will seem strange not to see you every day."

  ''Ah, but you will! As we both are going to San Antonio, I have decided that instead of remaining in Galveston, I shall travel directly to San Antonio with your party. IVe already mentioned it to your husband, and he seemed to have no objections. It will definitely be a much safer journey for all of us if I and my four servants join up with your party." And you, my icy little darling, Sebastian thought in exaspefation as a smiling Beth turned to look up at him, have no idea that you are the only reason Fve changed my plans.

  The violet eyes twinkling gaily up at him, she said delightedly, "Oh, truly! You are not teasing me?"

  Sebastian put on an affronted expression, but the green eyes glinted with mockery and the full, mobile mouth slanted teasingly. "Now, Beth, when have I ever teased you?"

  Beth laughed at him. "All the time, my friend, all the time! You have done nothing but tease me since we met that first morning. And don't you try to deny it either!" Her face suddenly serious, impetuously she reached over and touched his strong, lean hand with her slim fingers. "And Sebastian, I have enjoyed it so much. I cannot begin to tell you how much you have lightened my days. You are truly a good friend to me— one I hope I shall have for a long time."

  Almost somberly he said, "Don't worry, Beth, I have no intention of disappearing from your life too soon."

  They conversed lightly a few minutes more and then Sebastian suggested that perhaps it was time for Beth to retire for the night. Shortly thereafter they were standing before her cabin door saying good night. And it was then that Sebastian found her simply too alluring, too temptingly desirable to resist.

  Looking at the lovely, innocent features lifted to his, he was powerless to defy the urge to drop a brief, warm kiss on her unprepared lips. Startled, Beth instinctively

  stepped away, and Sebastian, realizing what he had done, rushed into hasty speech. "Beth, forgive me! I do not know what came over me. I do apologize." Giving her a lopsided, attractive grin, he finished outrageously, 'It is just that I feel that you are like one of my sisters, even on this short acquaintance—and I always kiss my sisters good night!"

  Beth was torn between the desire to box his ears and an unseemly urge to giggle. The giggle won out. "Sebastian, you are a scamp!" she scolded with a smile. "I don't think my husband would approve of such... such... w£irm sentiments being bestowed upon his wife by a young man so recently met."

  His tall, broad-shouldered body blocking out the moonlight behind them, he put on an aggrieved air and mocked, "But Beth, I feel as if we have known each other forever. Surely we were soulmates in another life!"

  Beth gave him a playful rap on his knuckles. "Enough of this nonsense—even if it is very enjoyable, it must stop! Behave yourself or I shall have to take stern measures against you, young man," she threatened, her eyes teasing him.

  Unrepentantly Sebastian asked, "Am I forgiven, Beth?"

  Unable to resist the laughter in his face, she replied honestly, "Yes, you are, but you shouldn't be! Now I must go. It is late and I don't want anyone to think that I am entertaining impudent young men in my cabin at night!"

  A grin on his wide mouth, for several seconds Sebastian stood staring at the door that closed so precipitously in his face when Beth had swept tantalizingly into her cabin. Then, whistling softly to himself, he walked away, feeling inordinately pleased.

  Despite the ease with which she had dismissed the incident to Sebastian, it troubled Beth. She recognized the fact that there could never be more than friendship between them, and she was too tenderhearted to encourage his hopes of a more serious relationship when she had no intention of allowing their association to take on any deeper meaning. No, Sebastian was not for her—he might be handsome, he might be charming,

  but her heart was untouched except in a sisterly way. Firmly Beth reminded herself that his kiss tonight had been just as he intimated—a brotherly salutation. She knew what it was like to be kissed with passion, and for just a moment Rafael Santana's dark face swam in her mind. With a decidedly breathless start she realized that part of Sebastian's charm was that in some strange way he made her remember another darker, wildly passionate personality, and the unpleasant idea occurred to her that perhaps part of Sebastian's appeal to her was simply because he did remind her of Rafael. Ruthlessly she banished tha
t thought, forcing herself to think only of tonight. Sebastian's kiss had been just what he claimed, but she wondered if, perhaps, Sebastian's friendship with her was something more, and she bit her lip in vexation. She did so enjoy his company, and his bright, lively friendship meant much to her. He made her feel young and merry—and not staid and sedate and sensible, all those things she had been so long. She hadn't thought once of Briarwood or of the oddity of her marriage, nor longed for her future to have been different since meeting him. And not willingly would she slip back into possessing all those virtues she had come to dislike. She would be gay, and young, and happy., .and., .carefree! She would! And Sebastian would help her, she thought defiantly, she was Twt going to turn into a bitter, unfulfilled woman!

  Sebastian would have been perfectly delighted to help Beth become a fulfilled woman, and recalling again how close he had come to betraying himself as they stood near her cabin door, he felt his chest tighten uncomfortably. For a moment he was dejected, but then he brightened. She hadn't been overly displeased and she had accepted his shameless excuse without a murmur. And as he savored his second brandy in a very few minutes, he proceeded to convince himself that she had only been shy and that his persistence was beginning to be rewarded.

  Sebastian was not the only man savoring the progression of a seduction that night. Nathan had discovered that the young and daintily made Mr. Percy was of the same persuasion as himself, and he at last man-

  aged to find himself lost in a hungry embrace. Without one thought of his wife and with none of the impotence that marked his attempts to consummate his marriage, Nathan very successfully and expertly showed Mr. Percy what a rather skillful lover he was... with men. Somewhat recklessly, they spent the night together in Mr. Percy's cabin, which unfortunately happened to be next door to Sebastian's.

  Worse, Sebastian had inadvertently ended up with Mr. Percy's snuffbox and, rising early that morning, he tapped on the door to leave it off. Hearing no answer, he tried the knob and, finding it unlocked, stuck his head around the door. The sight of Nathan and Mr. Percy in bed together was a shock of the first magnitude even to one as sophisticated as Sebastian. That the two sleeping men had been intimate was more than apparent from the way Mr. Percy nestled into Nathan's white shoulder and the way Nathan's arm was clasped around the younger man. Thoroughly revolted and horrified, Sebastian beat a hasty retreat, understanding instantly exactly why Nathan seemed to have no concern about leaving his wife in the company of another man.

  But there Sebastian misjudged Nathan. Nathan was perfectly capable of turning a blind eye to a number of things another man would not have ignored. But he was also essentially a selfish man, and while he might think it very nice for Beth to have the companionship of a handsome young man like Sebastian and while he might normally be discreet about his little excursions, he was always on the alert for any threat to his own happiness. On that particular morning, after he had said a fond good-bye to Mr. Percy, for the packet would be docking at Galveston in a matter of hours, Nathan decided, after listening to Beth's happy conversation that was mainly about Sebastian, that perhaps it hadn't been so wise to have introduced that young man to his wife. Sebastian was a little too attractive, and Nathan didn't want Beth to get any silly ideas. Perhaps she would decide their rather odd marriage wasn't as satisfactory as it could be and that another man might make her happier.

  Seeing the easy fi:'iendship that existed between Beth 127

  and Sebastian, Nathan began to look with real disfavor upon the notion that Sebastian and his party would travel with them to San Antonio. But there was nothing he could do about it, he thought with regret, wishing with growing uneasiness that he had never consented to this wild whim of Beth's.

  Most of the day was taken up with the landing at Galveston and finding rooms they would need for the few days they would be in Galveston before starting the overland journey to San Antonio. It proved fortunate that they were not remaining long in Galveston, because Nathan, after taking one incredulous glance at what was the most important port city of the Republic of Texas, was not impressed. His muttered complaints robbed Beth of much of her pleasure in the city. But Nathan's complaints weren't the only thing that distressed her as they wandered about the city—she had seen a tall, black-haired man disappear between two buildings as they approached, and for one terrifying moment she had been certain it was Rafael Santana.

  It wasn't the sight of the dark-haired stranger that upset her so much as her own reaction to it. Her heart had leaped within her breast and her throat had gone dry at the violent thrill of anticipation and hope that had exploded through her slender body. But she quickly gained control of herself, frantically tamping down those emotions. What is the matter with me? she wondered furiously—it was only a man. But a man that made you think of Rafael Santana, her mind whispered slyly, and Beth was furious, furious with the knowledge that she couldn't subdue the yearnings of her stubborn, wayward heart for just the sight of one particular tall, dark man. Paying only half a mind to Nathan's sharp remarks, Beth kept her eyes on the spot where the stranger had disappeared. She could not help wondering why, if she was so content, so satisfied with her relationship with Nathan, she should react so strongly to a fleeting glance of a man who might not even have been the one her heart wanted him to be. And for the first time since she had made her decision to remain Nathan's wife, despite his impotency and his discreet aff'airs with the members of his own sex, she questioned whether she

  hadn't been foolish beyond behef. Perhaps I did us both an injustice, she decided miserably, and because she felt so very guilty for even having such a thought, she forced herself to pay particular attention to Nathan's comments about the city.

  ''Rustic" was the kindest word that Nathan applied to the growing, haphazard mass of wharves, warehouses, docks, and wooden houses that were scattered along the few dusty streets that led to the bay. Beth soothed his affronted sensibilities with promises that San Antonio, once they reached it, would be much more to his liking.

  Beth hid her own dismay at the city, and for the first time the full magnitude of the journey she had undertaken so lightheartedly hit her. They were leaving behind the comfort and elegance they had known all their lives. They were going to the frontier, the frontier where people did live in a certain amount of style and comfort but where Briarwood's cool, green gardens, marble mantels, elegant curving staircases, and luxurious appointments were as foreign to them as was this sprawling, bustling, rough-looking city to her.

  If Beth noticed that Nathan seemed to be rather cool to Sebastian and that there was the faintest hint of contempt in Sebastian's manner toward Nathan during their few days in Galveston, she gave no indication, her thoughts determinedly on how much she was enjoying herself. She was enjoying herself, but Nathan's continued scathing comments on their accommodations and his opinion of Galveston left her feeling vaguely depressed and effectively destroyed the pleasure she would have taken in exploring the robust, oddly appealing little city. She had known the country they were going to be traveling through would be primitive, and she had thought, unwisely it appeared, that Nathan had been aware of it too. Apparently all her explanations to him had been either forgotten or misunderstood, and she sighed unhappily as she realized that half of her time was going to be spent in soothing Nathan's discomforts and in convincing him that he was actually enjoying the trip. A difficult task, if not impossible, she decided dolefully the afternoon before they were to leave.

  Nathan had been particularly venomous in his remarks earlier about the town, the people and even the countryside. Beth had fled to her tiny room at the hotel in order to keep from bursting out with some very unladylike comments of her own concerning his behavior.

  Her unhappiness had been noted by both of the gentlemen, and each had his own interpretation of it, Nathan's was the most correct; he realized a bit belatedly that his undeniable dislike of the situation was ruining Beth's enjoyment of the journey. Feeling a little twinge of guilt o
ver his brief liaison with Reginald Percy, he knocked on her door full of contrition.

  At first Beth was not inclined to see Nathan, but then she made up her mind to have a frank discussion and she bade'him enter.

  Nathan gave her no chance to speak. Crossing the room with quick strides, he grasped her hand and kissed it lightly. ''My dear," he said in a remorseful voice, the gray eyes pleading for forgiveness, '1 have been an utter brute! I know how much this journey means to you and I know you would have preferred to come without me... and what must I do but find fault with everything about it! I should not ask it of you, but please, my darling, forgive me. I shall try very hard to be more agreeable and to keep my thoughts and comments to myself." Ruefully he added, 'The entire reason that I even accompanied you was to see that everything went smoothly for you, and here I have been the one to cause you the most distress. Believe me, I did not mean to, and believe also that I shall try my utmost, from this moment on, to make this a journey that we shall remember with joy and fondness."

  Beth's spirits lifted instantly. It was true that Nathan's inability to accept the conditions that were an integral part of any journey into the untamed portions of the continent had been destroying any pleasure she would have received. But it was also true that one of the things that made her marriage bearable was his willingness to please her once he knew that something meant a great deal to her. And he had the endearing quality of truly meaning what he said. He would see to it that there were no more unpleasant scenes, and

  even if it nearly killed him he would smile and manfully convince himself that he was having a marvelous time. There would be no further reproaches, no more of his petty complaints, and most of all, she would have his encouragement and would be able to confess some of her own dismay or disappointments about the trip, knowing he would comfort her and, as he often did, show her the amusing side of it.