Burning with Passion

by Emma Darcy

  Lonely most of his life...

  ‘It must have been a good marriage,’ Caitlin said wistfully.

  ‘Yes. They were very happy together. They did everything together.’

  His lips brushed warmly over her hair. Did he want that with her? Caitlin fiercely willed it to be so.

  ‘Then one day there was a fire at the factory,’ David said flatly.

  The industrial accident that had killed his father? Caitlin barely suppressed a shudder. To die by fire...

  ‘My father tried to save the designs for the new furniture. My designs. That was the tragedy, because I could have drawn them again.’

  The pain of countless thoughts of ‘if only’ was in his voice. Caitlin remained silent. There was no balm she could give to that pain.

  ‘There was an explosion,’ David continued. ‘Tins of varnish, they said afterwards. My father didn’t have a chance but my mother tried to reach and rescue him. She ran into the flames. I don’t think she stopped to think about what she was doing. A reflex action. She simply couldn’t bear to lose him. Burning with the passion she felt...the fire enveloped her.’

  His voice faded into brooding silence.

  Horror speared through Caitlin’s mind as she thought of why David had never invited her home with him, why he had spoken of his mother’s beauty as belonging to the past.

  ‘She was...rescued,’ he went on. ‘A brave act by a brave man from the factory, although, perhaps, a merciless one. The burns...it was hell on earth for her, Caitlin. Months and years of hell. No one should suffer like that. No one should have to live through it. And then the skin grafts...’

  Caitlin frantically searched for something to say to David. There seemed to be no words that were remotely adequate. It must have been hell for him, too: the grief, the sense of futility and helplessness, the anguish of watching someone you loved suffer so terribly.

  ‘I wish I’d been there for you, David,’ she said impulsively. ‘It must have been the loneliest torment...’

  He said nothing for so long, Caitlin began to wish she’d held her tongue. Had it been an inane thing to say? Did he think she hadn’t meant it?

  ‘I did have someone, Caitlin,’ he said, a bitter note in his voice. ‘We had planned to marry once we gained our university degrees. She came with me to visit my mother...once. When she realised what a future with me would entail... She recoiled from the sight of my mother. I couldn’t accept that. Marriage to me quickly lost its attraction.’

  ‘Then she didn’t love you,’ Caitlin said fiercely. She pushed herself up to look directly into his eyes, her own burning with a conviction so strong it refused to acknowledge the wary reservation she saw. ‘I’d stand by you through anything, David,’ she declared passionately.

  There was a flicker of hope, quickly quenched. ‘It’s easier to say that than to do it, Caitlin,’ he said with a touch of harshness. ‘My mother never leaves the house. For good reason. People recoil from the sight of her.’

  ‘Whatever she looks like now, she’s your mother, David,’ Caitlin argued. ‘I’d never turn my back on anyone who was hurt in my family.’ Not even Michelle! ‘Do you think I would do that to someone as important to you as your mother?’

  He searched her eyes, wanting to believe but not quite able to bring himself to take that last ultimate step of trust.

  ‘She must be one of the loneliest people in the world,’ Caitlin said with soft sympathy.

  ‘Yes. She’s terribly isolated. Apart from me she’s alone.’

  Caitlin now understood why he had made such a rigid ritual of having breakfast with his mother every morning. Whatever turned up for him during the day—or night—at least his mother had that company to look forward to. It was a measure, a high measure of how much Caitlin meant to him that he had made this exception for her. She would willingly have staked her life that David had made no exception to his rule regarding his mother since the time of the accident.

  ‘You should have told me, David,’ she said seriously.

  His mouth tilted with irony. ‘It’s not easy. I’m telling you now.’

  ‘Will you let me meet her?’

  He sobered, his eyes reflecting the torment of that decision. ‘It would be an ordeal for her, Caitlin. Perhaps an ordeal for you, too. I think you should give it deep consideration before you...’

  ‘No,’ she interrupted firmly. ‘I don’t need to give it any further consideration at all. If I’m to be part of your life, David, don’t shut me out of your mother’s life.’

  ‘Caitlin...’ He winced and looked away. ‘You don’t know...what you may be letting yourself in for.’

  ‘I do know. You’ve told me. And I’m not flinching away from it, David. Don’t judge me,’ she pleaded. ‘Give me the chance to prove what I’m saying.’

  His gaze slowly came back to hers and locked onto it with passionate intensity. ‘You could hurt my mother very deeply. That’s how Crawley was going to get at us, by using her disfigurement to cause further injury. Please be aware of that. The slightest rejection on your part...this isn’t a game you can play. It’s very real. Very painful. For my mother to... expose herself...to anyone...’

  She placed her fingers over his lips, silencing him. ‘Trust me, David,’ she appealed softly. ‘I promise you, I’ll be worthy of your trust.’ If it took every ounce of courage and backbone and strength of will she could lay claim to, she would cope with whatever she had to face and deal with.

  ‘I’ll have to talk to her...prepare her...’

  ‘Then I guess we’d better go back to Sydney,’ she said with a smile.

  He touched her cheek. She could feel the yearning in his fingertips. ‘I want it to turn out right, Caitlin.’

  ‘So do I, David,’ she said fervently. ‘So do I.’

  She had all the answers now. Her understanding of the man she loved was complete. It made her love him all the more. Yet there was this last step to take, a step that might founder on his mother’s reaction to her. She could accept Mrs Hartley. No doubt of that. The burning question was whether Mrs Hartley would accept her.

  Nothing was certain.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  THE meeting with David’s mother was set up for a week’s time. Caitlin gave a lot of thought to how she would handle it. She didn’t ask for any advice from David. He didn’t offer it. She knew he was tense about the outcome but there was nothing she could do to ease that.

  In the meantime, other recent sources of tension between them came to resolutions that neither David nor Caitlin could have foreseen.

  They spent a day with Dalhunty at the Hartley building in Chatswood, assisting the new manager to a comprehensive understanding of current business dealings. There was a new receptionist. Jenny Ashton had resigned. That was not surprising, but the fax that came in from Herr Schmidt was.

  David read it to Caitlin.

  ‘Unaccustomed as we are to being treated in the highly original way we were treated, it is our collective wisdom that you are the man with whom we wish to do business. You represent the future of our mutual interests. Please send us a copy of your licensing contract.’

  There was a PS attached to the fax.

  ‘Please tell Fräulein Ross that her acting in the boardroom was sublime. We are aware of the trifling exaggeration that she introduced into the sales figures for the Sutherland contract. If she is ever in need of a job, there is not one member of the delegation who would not have her on his staff. Fräulein Ross was magnificent.’

  David’s eyes flashed with irony. ‘In other words, they love you, they hate me, but they need us, and Crawley’s no good to them.’

  The reason for that was soon apparent. After the first day of the hearing of the court case, Michael Crawley skipped the country, leaving behind massive debts, much ill-will, and Paul Jordan out of a job.

  Privately, Caitlin was relieved that Michael Crawley had removed himself from their lives. A term of imprisonment or a huge damages bill awarded against him w
ould only have fed his malevolence towards them. This way he was no longer a time-bomb that might one day explode. Justice might not be served, but justice did not prevent innocent victims from being hurt.

  David’s mother was the innocent victim of other people’s reactions to her superficial disfigurement. Probably no hurt was meant, yet the hurt given left deeper scars than anything else. Caitlin understood how much easier it must have been to withdraw into complete isolation. Yet if the rest of the world were blind, David’s mother would be accepted in the same manner as any other person. That was the cruelty of it.

  Caitlin resolved to be blind to anything but the person inside. And there was something else she could do, as well, something she knew from her own experience of loneliness.

  The morning set aside for the meeting came. David had not spent the night with Caitlin. She knew he would be doing everything in his power to make everything turn out right, to soothe his mother’s fears and give her all the assurances he could. Caitlin was acutely aware of how critical to their future this meeting was. At the end of it a choice would be made.

  She dressed quietly in a black skirt and cream blouse. Her make-up was minimal. It seemed tactless to draw attention to her superficial attractions.

  She left her apartment in good time to arrive at the house in Lane Cove at ten o’clock. She drove with concentrated care and attention. The last thing she needed was any kind of accident to delay her. She did not want to add to the tensions inherent in the situation by keeping David and his mother waiting. That would be unforgivable.

  She was a few minutes early. She counted very slowly to ten before approaching the front door. It was important to look relaxed even though she was churning inside.

  David appeared almost as soon as she had rung the doorbell. It was obvious that all was not well. He did not return her smile. His eyes skated over her in apprehensive appraisal and fastened on the basket she was holding.

  ‘I brought your mother a gift,’ Caitlin said in explanation.

  He gave a slight shake of his head, as though he knew that wouldn’t help, but he refrained from comment. ‘Come in, Caitlin,’ he said flatly, without a trace of favourable anticipation in his voice, more a resignation to seeing out the inevitable.

  He led her into the lounge-room. Mrs Hartley was standing by a window, ostensibly looking out, her back turned to Caitlin’s entrance. Her soft blonde hair looked perfectly natural and was styled to cover her neck. Her arms were folded in a self-protective hug.

  ‘Mum, Caitlin’s here,’ David announced quietly.

  No response, except a tightening hunch of her shoulders.

  ‘Mrs Hartley, I’ve been so looking forward to this meeting,’ Caitlin softly pleaded.

  ‘I’ve told my son I wish him every happiness with you, Miss Ross,’ came the tremulous reply. ‘I mean that...with all my heart.’

  ‘I have no doubt you do,’ Caitlin replied.

  ‘I can only spoil things for you.’ It was said with dull certainty. ‘It’s best that you make a life without me.’

  ‘That’s not true, Mrs Hartley. It’s not true for David and it’s not true for me,’ Caitlin pressed in urgent response.

  ‘I’m sure you mean well, Miss Ross, but I know I can only be a source of embarrassment to you. And to the children you and David might have. I don’t want that.’

  Caitlin’s heart sank. David’s mother was not rejecting her. She was rejecting herself.

  ‘Mrs Hartley, I appreciate, very deeply, the sacrifice you’re prepared to make, but I would like the chance to get to know you. David loves you very much...’

  ‘I’ve been a burden on him for many years.’ She shook her head. ‘I should have died with his father. I wish I had.’

  ‘Mum, please...’ It was a cry of anguish from David. He moved to her side and turned her gently towards him. ‘You’re not being fair to Caitlin, Mum. Nor me.’

  ‘Life isn’t fair, David,’ she said brokenly.

  ‘No, it isn’t,’ he agreed. ‘But you don’t have to shut doors that open to you. Please...give it a chance, Mum.’

  She bowed her head, shaking it with such an air of hopelessness that tears sprang to Caitlin’s eyes.

  David drew his mother into his arms. ‘I can’t leave you to yourself, Mum. It’s no use asking it of me. I can’t.’ His eyes sought Caitlin’s over his mother’s head, begging her understanding, tortured with the conflict of two loves. ‘It would haunt me for the rest of my life.’

  Caitlin knew it was true. David might be ruthless in many ways, but he could never turn his back on his mother. He couldn’t pretend she didn’t exist. Neither could Caitlin.

  She set the basket on the floor, lifted the lid and picked up the tiny puppy that was still curled in sleep. She cradled it in her hands as she moved forward, ignoring David’s frown, hoping to break the agony of decision-making that was clouding all their futures.

  ‘Mrs Hartley, I’m sorry that you’d rather not know me,’ she said softly. ‘I guess it’s hard to trust good intentions when they’ve failed before. I know you must have a lot of lonely hours, so I brought you a companion you can talk to when David isn’t here. Please...would you take her?’

  David obligingly stepped back to allow Caitlin to present her gift to his mother.

  ‘If you’ll just hold out your hands,’ Caitlin urged, carefully keeping her gaze on the puppy she was offering. She didn’t want David’s mother to think she was trying to satisfy some morbid curiosity.

  ‘What is it?’ Her voice was strained, hesitant.

  ‘A little Australian silky terrier. Six weeks old. She hasn’t got a name yet, but I’m sure you can think of one.’ Caitlin smiled down at the pup. ‘She loves being loved. She demands care and affection and attention. She’ll do just about anything to get it.’

  A hand reached out tentatively to stroke the soft silky coat. The pup stirred, eyes alert, and turned to lick one of the stroking fingers.

  ‘Oh!’ It was a breath of surprise.

  ‘Please take her. I got her for you. I used to have a pony to talk to whenever I was lonely. But a puppy’s just as good and you can keep her in the house. She won’t take up much room.’

  Still there was a hesitation, but both hands were in front of her now and Caitlin bundled the pup into them. It wriggled in the changeover. David’s mother quickly fumbled it to her chest. The pup, in search of more security, hastily scrabbled his way up her dress and nestled contentedly into the curve of her neck and shoulder.

  Caitlin laughed with pleasure and lifted dancing green eyes, skating straight over the disfigured face and fastening directly on the startled blue gaze of David’s mother. ‘You see? She’s taken to you already. I hope you don’t mind holding her.’

  ‘No...I...’ She stopped, confused by Caitlin’s failure to look away. She was taken aback at Caitlin’s lack of reaction. ‘I...it’s...kind of you to do this for me.’

  ‘I love animals. Did David tell you he bought me a horse?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Then we need to tell you all about it.’

  Mrs Hartley looked at her son, still bewildered by Caitlin’s natural manner, her eyes full of questions.

  ‘There’s such a lot I have to tell you, Mum,’ David said. ‘Caitlin’s pony was injured and had to be put down.’ His hand slid over Caitlin’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. ‘We bought her a Clydesdale to take its place.’

  ‘His name is Danny Boy.’ Caitlin lifted her hand and stroked it over David’s. ‘He’s a two-year-old stallion and...’

  She bubbled on, describing her horse and recounting precisely how dreadful David had been in pursuing the purchase, which he denied, insisting it was only his standard procedure. Caitlin then related their search for the right property, with helpful and amusing asides from David.

  His mother stood watching them both, stroking the pup at her throat, not quite knowing what to make of what was happening but not walking away from it. Caitlin was privately assessing
the work done by the cosmetic surgeons. It was very good. Both David and his mother remembered the beauty which had been destroyed, making the contrast appalling to them, but there was no cause for horror. Caitlin had no problem at all with what she saw.

  ‘Come and sit down, Mum,’ David urged. ‘Caitlin had better tell you what to feed the pup.’

  He steered her to an armchair. Caitlin picked up the basket and brought it over to show her the contents. She dropped on to her knees beside the armchair and lifted each item out in turn.

  ‘I bought a feed-dish and a packet of cereal and a tin of dog-meat, but you’ll find she’ll soon want to eat whatever you’re eating.’ Caitlin smiled. ‘Silky terriers always want to do everything their owners do. If you have chicken dinner, she’ll want chicken dinner, on a plate the same as a human.’

  Mrs Hartley’s gaze lifted slowly to her son. ‘David, would you make us some coffee, please?’

  ‘Yes, of course.’

  He left them together. Mrs Hartley lowered the pup to her lap. Caitlin fiercely hoped it did not mean her gift was about to be rejected.

  ‘You must love my son very much.’ The blue eyes were moist but did not waver from Caitlin’s.

  ‘I do.’

  ‘I’m sorry. I was...so...afraid...’ She bit her lips and swallowed.

  ‘You know...the wonderful thing about dogs is that they always return the love they’re given,’ Caitlin said softly, giving the older woman time to regain her composure. ‘They’re the most devoted companions in the world.’

  ‘You want me to have a companion?’

  ‘For when we’re not here.’

  A wisp of a smile. ‘It’s you who is special. David was right about that.’

  ‘Thank you for accepting me. It means more than I can say.’

  ‘My dear...’ She looked down at the pup. ‘So small,’ she mused. But her mind was clearly on bigger issues.

  By the time David returned with the coffee, an understanding had been forged. He watched them talk together, his eyes moving from one to the other with pleasure. When his mother took the pup out to the kitchen in case it needed a drink of milk, he whirled Caitlin into his arms and kissed her with such intensity that they were both in danger of the situation getting out of hand.