Gone by Nightfall

by Dee Garretson

  * * *

  When I came downstairs the next morning, Dmitri and Papa were in the hall. “Lottie, there you are! Dmitri Antonovich wants to speak to us,” Papa said.

  I followed them into the library. Dmitri wouldn’t sit down. He stood very straight as if he was at attention.

  “What is it?” Papa asked him.

  “Sir, I think you should send everyone to your dacha in the country. There’s been more rioting, and the streets are too dangerous for Zarja or Lottie or even Hap to go out for food.”

  “No, Papa,” I said, glaring at Dmitri. I wasn’t going to be sent to the country like a child. “The others can go. I can’t leave you and Zarja here alone.” It wouldn’t be fair to ask Osip to watch out for them.

  Papa sighed. “I feared we’d come to this. I’ve been thinking the same thing.”

  “No,” I said again. “I’m not going.”

  I heard a shuffling sound from the hall. I turned around to see Polina standing in the doorway, twisting her hands together. She never came into the library.

  “Nika is ill,” the girl said. “She has a very high fever and she doesn’t want to get out of bed. She’s asking for you, Lottie.”

  I got up and followed her upstairs. It was probably whatever Anna Andreevna had come down with. “What about Sophie?” I asked. When one twin was ill, the other soon followed.

  “I sent her down to the kitchen so she’d be out of the way.”

  Polina and I went into the twins’ bedroom. Nika had the covers pulled all the way up to her chin. Her face was pale, except for a bright red spot on each cheek. Her eyes were swollen and red.

  “I don’t feel good, Lottie.” She coughed, a dry cough that made her gag. I helped her sit up and gave her a drink of water. She took one sip and cried out, “That makes my throat hurt more. Can you do something to make my throat hurt not so much, Lottie? That’s what nurses do, don’t they?”

  “I’m sorry, darling. I can take care of you, and we can give you drinks to make your throat feel better, but I can’t make the hurt go away all at once. I know it’s no fun to be ill, but if you stay in bed, you’ll be better soon.”

  “Would you read to me?”

  “Yes, of course. I want to talk to Polina for a few minutes first.”

  We went back out into the hall and I explained about Anna Andreevna. “I could send someone to ask what’s wrong with her,” I said.

  She sighed. “You could, but I’m almost certain Nika has measles. If she does, we’ll see the spots soon enough. I saw it when my brothers all got it.”

  Measles. I remembered that Dr. Rushailo had said she’d seen some cases weeks ago. A trickle of fear ran through me.

  “Have the rest of you had them?” Polina asked.

  “Yes, we all got them a few months after we moved here. Miles and Stepan were very ill with them, but Hap and I had much milder cases. The twins usually recover very quickly from any illnesses,” I said, more to reassure myself than her. “They are healthy children, so that’s good, but it’s almost certain Sophie will come down with them too. If by some miracle she hasn’t caught them already, it would be best if we kept Nika isolated.”

  I tried to sound like I was discussing a case at the hospital, but my legs felt wobbly remembering how close we’d come to losing Stepan when he’d had the measles.

  Polina patted my arm as if she knew what I was feeling. “We’ll take care of them. I’ll go down and talk to Zarja about what we’ll need over the next few days. If we can get Nika to drink broth, it will help, though I know she’s likely to lose her appetite very soon.”

  “Yes, I’ll sit with her, and when you come back, I’ll get the boys to take turns coming in to read to her.”

  I went back in the room and picked up a book, though Nika had her eyes closed. When I sat down next to her, she opened her eyes a little. “Can we wait until Sophie comes back?” she asked. “She’ll want to hear the story too.”

  “Sophie can’t come in right now. We don’t want her to get sick too.”

  Nika closed her eyes again. “Then I don’t want to hear a story. It’s no fun without Sophie.” She fell into a restless sleep, and Polina, the boys, and I took turns sitting with her throughout the day.

  I had hoped Sophie was listless that day only because she couldn’t see Nika, but by nightfall she’d fallen ill too. Her fever went so high so fast, we sent for the doctor and moved her to a different room so Nika wouldn’t be awakened by the noise.

  I sent Hap to Dr. Rushailo’s house, but she was out on a difficult delivery, so we had to settle for Papa’s doctor. “It’s not uncommon for children to have high fevers,” I told Polina and the boys several times while we waited for the man. “It doesn’t mean it’s serious.” I knew I was saying it more for myself than them, but I couldn’t make myself stop.

  When the doctor was done examining her, he motioned me and Polina out of the room. “You both know there’s not much to be done except wait. Even with the best care, with a case of measles it’s all chance and how an individual’s body reacts. These two aren’t the first to fall ill. One of the grand duke’s granddaughters has died, and her nursemaid, too, and I’m afraid that’s just the beginning of this particular run.”

  My throat caught. “Not Anna Andreevna.” I hoped he meant another grand duke and another granddaughter.

  “Yes, that one. A shame. She was a lively little thing.”

  I put my hand over my mouth. Not Anna.

  The doctor jerked his head toward Sophie’s room. “If she survives the next two days, she’ll probably live. This is a bad time for a measles outbreak, but I fear we haven’t seen the worst of it yet.”

  I felt the tears falling down my cheeks but I didn’t bother to wipe them away. As a nurse, I knew children died all the time, but I had always tried to pretend we could keep our family safe—that I could keep them safe.

  The next two days went by in a blur. Nika was back up within a day, though she wasn’t completely better. I insisted on staying with Sophie at night because I knew she’d be afraid of the dark without Nika. She had terrible fever dreams and would wake screaming that the curtains were on fire or that there were monsters that weren’t letting her breathe. Each time, I’d lie next to her until she calmed down and fell back into a restless sleep. I was so tired I moved through the hours in a daze.

  The third night I was dozing beside her when I woke to her small voice.

  “Lottie, Lottie, is Dmitri still here?” Her voice was raspy.

  I took her hand in mine. It was so hot and dry, I almost dropped it. “Of course he is, darling. I’m sure he’ll come visit you if you like.”

  “Yes, please. I like Dmitri.” She closed her eyes for a while and I sat there watching her chest rise and fall. I said every prayer I knew, trying not to cry. Our family needed all of us. We wouldn’t be the same with a piece missing.

  Sometime later, Sophie gave a little start and opened her eyes back up.

  “Hello,” I said. “Can I get you to take a drink of water?”

  She shook her head. “I have an important question.” Her voice was so faint, I leaned in close to hear her.

  “Yes?”

  “Does Dmitri like you more now than he did before, do you think?”

  I smiled for her, though it took an effort. “Yes, yes, I think he does like me. But don’t worry about that now, darling.”

  She smiled back. “I’m not worried.” Her voice got a little stronger. “The love potions we’ve been giving him are working. You’ll be all right.”

  “Love potions?” I didn’t think I’d understood her. “You’ve been giving Dmitri love potions?”

  “Yes.” Her eyes fluttered shut. “Nika and I knew…”

  Her voice trailed off and my heart stopped.

  “Sophie,” I whispered.

  She didn’t answer. I put my hand on her chest, willing it to rise. When it did, I began to pray out loud, willing her to keep breathing.

  Polina foun
d me like that. She put her hand on Sophie’s forehead. “The fever has gone down,” she said, smiling. “I think we’ve gotten through the worst of it. You should get some sleep. I’ll sit with her now.”

  I stumbled out into the hall and saw that it was daylight, though still very early in the morning. I leaned against the wall, trying to find the energy to walk to my own room.

  “Lottie?” It was Dmitri’s voice. I turned around and he was right there, and I put my arms around him like it was something I’d always done. He hugged me, brushing my hair. “I’m here … I’m here…,” he whispered. “Is she…”

  “Polina thinks she’s going to be all right.” I burst into tears again and laid my head on his shoulder, the tears refusing to stop. We stayed like that until I realized I was getting his shirt all wet. I also realized he wasn’t wearing his uniform tunic.

  I moved my head so I could see his face, wiping my eyes. “Why aren’t you wearing your uniform?”

  “It’s gotten too dangerous. So many officers have been killed by mobs that no one is wearing a uniform anymore. The Horse Guard is no more. It’s been disbanded.”

  I let go of him and stepped back.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “Do you mind?”

  He rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to join, but once I was there, I made some good friends. And it was two years of my life. Let’s not talk about it, not now,” he said.

  He seemed so different in regular clothes, much more like the university student he’d been, but I’d gotten so used to him in uniform, it was disorienting to see him so changed.

  “Then I’ll tell you Sophie would like to see you when she wakes up,” I said. I remembered about the potions and my face flushed.

  As if he could read my mind, Dmitri smiled. “Does she want to see me drink another love potion?”

  “You … you knew?” My face went from flushing to flaming.

  “Yes.” He pulled me back to him and put his arms around me again. “I cornered Polina after the first one and asked her what was in them. I’m afraid I intimidated the poor girl so much she confessed everything. The bad taste is just some dried herb. If I drink it fast enough, it isn’t so terrible.”

  I choked out a laugh. “I’m sorry! You don’t have to keep drinking it.”

  “I made Polina promise not to tell the twins I knew. They were having such fun with it, I didn’t want to spoil it.”

  “Thank you,” I said, leaning my head back on his shoulder. “Thank you.”

  “You should get some sleep,” he whispered. “You’re so pale, I’m worried you’re going to get ill yourself.”

  I let him take my hand and walk me to my room. He gave me another hug and then waited until I went in. “I’ll be here when you wake up. We’ll talk later.”

  I smiled and lay down on the bed, falling asleep right away.

  Chapter Sixteen

  I SLEPT FOR hours, and when I woke up, I lay there for a long time, knowing that once I was up I wouldn’t have a moment to myself. I had no idea what had been happening outside the house since the twins had fallen ill and I dreaded to know if conditions had gotten worse.

  I finally made myself get up. When I went downstairs, Dmitri was waiting for me. He was wearing a serious expression again.

  “I’m famished,” I said.

  “Zarja told me to tell you there is some bread and jam in the dining room.”

  He followed me in, his expression still serious. He wouldn’t sit down.

  “Something is wrong, isn’t it?” I asked.

  “As soon as the twins are well enough to travel, you need to go to the country. All of you, your stepfather too.”

  This time I didn’t get angry at his suggestion. “How bad is it?”

  “It’s bad. Everyone wants to be in charge but no one is in charge and the city is beginning to fall apart. There have been more food riots, but there’s just not enough food. I don’t know what’s going to happen. Everyone is on edge and more people are still coming into the city. Things are bad all over, but you’d be better off in the country.”

  I felt a sudden longing for the dacha. Dmitri was right. It would be better in the country. “We’ll go soon,” I said.

  He sat down and took hold of my hand. “I’m going out for a bit, but I’ll be back in a few hours. Osip knows how to find me if you need me.”

  After he left, I decided I had to get out of the house too. I’d been inside for days and I wanted to check on the Tamms. I didn’t know if they had found out it was Hugo who had tipped off the Okhrana, and even though the secret police were gone, it seemed like they should know he had betrayed them.

  When I reached the Tamms’ building, I was surprised to find Celeste in Hugo’s room, putting his things in a trunk by the light of a candle. There was no sign of Hugo himself.

  “Why is it dark? What’s happened?” I asked.

  “It’s dark because the electricity has been going in and out. Haven’t you heard? Most of the workers at the electric plant have abandoned their posts. I’m amazed you haven’t had any trouble at your house.”

  “Not yet.” I dreaded that. The twins were scared of the dark. “Where’s Hugo?”

  She opened a small drawer in the dresser and took out some papers. “Hugo died. He was sick and then he drank a whole bottle of vodka. Stupid man. After what he did, I cannot manage much sorrow.” She slammed the drawer shut.

  So she knew. I couldn’t manage any sorrow either. I told her what had happened when I’d come to the building.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I had my suspicions that Peet was in with a group he shouldn’t have been with, but when I talked to him, he lied and swore he wasn’t. He didn’t say anything about Miles. I would have told you.”

  I sighed. “It’s all right, and it doesn’t matter now. They’re out of danger. Everything will settle down soon.” A piece of paper on top of the dresser fluttered to the floor. I picked it up. It was Hugo’s passport. Looking at his photograph, I was once again struck by how much he had resembled Papa. I gave it to Celeste and she put it in the trunk.

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do with Hugo’s things,” Celeste said. “It’s too hard now to send them back to Estonia to give them to his family.”

  “I didn’t know he was Estonian.” I’d never thought about the man’s life before he became an actor.

  “Yes, he came from the same village as Kalev and was one of the first actors to join Kalev’s troupe there. To betray our family like that!” She slammed the lid of the trunk shut. “I’d give all this away if I didn’t know his sister was still alive. I don’t know if she’ll want it, but I’ll keep it until I can get it to her. Would you help me carry it upstairs?”

  I helped her, and even though she offered me tea, I knew I couldn’t stay. It was a long walk home. No one had bothered to try to get the trams running again, and droshkies were still hard to find.

  The next day I went to the train station, hoping to find out if they were getting back to having some sort of schedule.

  The station was packed and the man in the ticket booth could tell me nothing I needed to know. “I can sell you tickets,” he said. “But then you just wait for the first train to arrive. We don’t know when anything is coming in.”

  I turned away in frustration. We couldn’t bring the twins here and just wait, at least not until they were much better.

  As I turned to leave, I heard my name. It was Carter. With everything that had happened, I hadn’t thought of him much since I’d seen him the day of the revolution. He pushed his way through the crowd, saying, “Pardon me. Pardon me.”

  “I didn’t expect to see you here,” he said when he reached me. “But when I was looking around the crowd, I saw that red hair and it caught my eye right away.” He laughed. “You sure can’t hide easily.”

  “What are you doing here?” I asked. “Is something important going to happen? Is that why there is such a big crowd?”

  “No, nothing
is happening, not today at least. Just too many people who want to leave. I’m here because a newspaperman I know finally managed to get into the country through the Eastern border. He took the train from Siberia to Moscow and now he’s coming here. I said I’d meet him and show him around. He missed the big speech, though.”

  “What big speech?”

  “You didn’t hear?” he said. “The leader of the Bolsheviks has come back to Russia to take part in the revolution and the new government.”

  I wasn’t sure the government needed more people trying to reorganize it. “So why was this one a big speech? There are so many different political groups who are going to take part in the new government, and they all seem to be making speeches.”

  “This one is a man named Lenin. He’s been in exile for years, and he’s quite a radical. He wants to wipe out all traces of the old ways. His older brother, Alexander, was hanged for attempting to assassinate the czar, and Lenin has been planning on how to bring down the czars for years. You should have seen the crowds cheering him when he came out on the balcony of the Kshesinskaya Palace.”

  Kshesinskaya Palace was the gorgeous mansion of Petrograd’s most famous prima ballerina. Rumors were that as a young woman she had been a favorite of the czar and some of the grand dukes. I didn’t understand why a revolutionary would be giving a speech there.

  Carter answered my question before I could ask it. “The Bolsheviks took it over after the woman who owned it fled the country. Some dancer. One of my friends who speaks Russian told me this Lenin fellow talks like he wants all the power for himself. Lenin says Russia doesn’t need any ‘bourgeois democracy,’ as he calls it. That’s going to make a lot of other people unhappy. This isn’t over yet. People have some power now, and they aren’t going to like it if he tries to take it away. It may get very ugly before it’s all said and done.”

  I couldn’t imagine it getting any uglier than it already was.

  “Say, what are you doing here, by the way?” Carter asked. “You don’t have any luggage, so you aren’t catching a train, are you?”