Love is Darkness (A Valerie Dearborn Novel)

by Hanson, Caroline

  The barest tip of her finger touched him, like an ice cube on burning flesh. He screamed.

  “Jack! Jack! Wake up.”

  Both hands were on him now, the sheets her accomplices, as they tried to pull him back under. A gasp exploded from his chest.

  It had been a dream. Marion wasn’t here. Jack wasn’t a boy anymore, but nineteen and strong. Italy was gone, he was in America now living with the people who had saved him.

  I’m alright.

  His hands covered his eyes and he heard Valerie’s voice speaking to him softly. But it held a tremor of sadness and fear, so he tried to get himself together.

  “I’m fine,” he said huskily.

  “You called her name,” Valerie said quietly.

  God, he hoped she meant his mother. His breath stopped in his lungs, like a dam had been built before he could exhale. “I was dreaming of my parents.”

  “No. You said Marion’s name.”

  The breath oozed out of him.

  “It’s been almost two months since you last woke me up in the middle of the night. I guess I won’t charge you for this one.” A pause “That’s good, right?”

  What was good about it? His parents were still dead, he was still living a nightmare, so what if he hadn’t woken up screaming for a month or two? So fucking what?

  But he smiled at her anyway, at her overly bright smile and the false innocence she tried to project. Because she did know that things were not alright. Valerie’s own mother had been murdered by vampires and it gave them a bond made of and deeper than blood.

  “When was the last time you dreamed about your mother?” He sounded normal.

  Her gaze shifted away. “I don’t remember my dreams anymore.” It was like she was confessing a dirty secret. And maybe it was, because even though he hated the dreams, each time he had them, he was with his parents again. Hearing their laughter. Watching them live. But when he woke up they were really gone.

  “Do you want to remember?” he asked, holding her hand in his, as though the dark was slightly farther away if they were together.

  “No. And you shouldn’t either. You need to block it out. Do what you can to pretend it didn’t happen.”

  Jack leaned over, turning on the bedside lamp to see her face. “You can’t pretend our lives are…fine.”

  Her look was intense, like she was at the starting line of a 100 meter dash, “I used to see it every day, and now I don’t. Sometimes, I’m not even sure I was there. And that’s— ”

  “Sad,” he said, cutting into her words.

  “No,” she said in a way that made him blink and try to pay attention, “Not remembering her death is a miracle.”

  Then she stood, shaking her head slightly, so that her long, dark hair curtained her face, and walked out the door. “Get some sleep, Jack. Another big day tomorrow.” She sounded miserable.

  Chapter 3

  San Loaran, California

  5 years ago

  She could see Jack through the window. She turned the car off and waited for his martial arts class to end. The class broke up and he came out the door towards the car.

  “Hey kid, how ya doin today?” He sounded happy. Relaxed. Must have been a good class since Jack was usually wound so tight.

  “I swear to God, I will eviscerate you if you don't start calling me by my name.” Her voice was a growl.

  “Your perky welcome makes me think you didn't talk Nate out of his little plan for you.”

  “No.” It was sullen.

  “You know, he only wants what's best for you.”

  Really? He wanted to talk about this and take Nate's side? Her temper spiked, making her reckless. “You know what I know? I know that whenever someone tells you they are doing 'what's best for you', you're screwed. Those are not words you want to hear. It's right up there with 'it's not you it's me'.”

  He laughed a little. “What's the time frame? I need a shower.”

  “I thought about rolling down the windows but didn't want to be rude.” She gave him a smile that wasn't very nice at all.

  “Yeah, well, you after tennis is no picnic either.”

  “Fair.”

  They drove the rest of the way in silence. Jack took his shower and Val went to her room. Her bed was covered with the clothes she'd wear tonight on her mission. All black with lots of velcro and pockets for hiding deadly weapons.

  Jack knocked and opened the door. “Val?” He looked at her carefully, like he was trying to determine how upset she was. A sympathetic smile flashed across his face and he rubbed the back of his neck like he was tense too.

  Val pointed to the bed and his smokey eyes tracked the movement. He looked at the outfit on the bed, nodding absently. “Hmm. Those are good cargoes actually. I don't know about the top.”

  “Can I just tell you how hot I would look in a black leather jacket?” Her eyes slid over to his and she found him studying her, imagining her in that jacket, she thought.

  She blushed and leaned down so he wouldn't notice. His hand reached out to touch her dark brown hair and he pulled some of it through his fingers.

  “What about this?” he said softly.

  She shrugged and stood back up. “I don't know. Braid, maybe? Cut it off for the honor of my family, Mulan style.”

  His lips quirked. “Braid is good, but tuck it into your shirt. You don't want him to get a handhold.”

  She crossed her arms protectively around her. “This is such a bad idea. What if I freeze? I could be dead before you get there. Or dad, before he gets there.”

  “Not gonna happen. I’ll be there.” His voice was commanding. He shook his head at her, stormy gray eyes looking a little tortured. He was so handsome.

  Sigh.

  Jack had even managed to escape the Italian nose. His nose was straight, refined. Val mentally chastised herself. Nose romanticizing was for losers.

  Jack would die to protect her and just thinking about it made her knees wobble in both fear and lust.

  “I know that look gets you laid a lot but it doesn't really make me fear death any less,” she said grumpily, irritated at her attraction to him when he was partially responsible for what would happen tonight.

  His smile was genuine. “Smart ass. Maybe I will let him bite you.”

  “Maybe he won't even be there.” Her tone was hopeful.

  His eyes met hers again, “He'll be there. Prepare for that. You won't get out of it. You get the job done. No fear, no hesitation, right?”

  She nodded. Why did these conversations always sound like they came from some crappy war movie?

  A moment passed and she started thinking about things that could go wrong. As though he could read her mind, he tried to distract her, lightly jabbing a fist out towards her stomach which she blocked automatically.

  “What's your plan?” He was trying to be positive.

  “Dad and I talked about it. I'm gonna ambush him. We knocked out the streetlights around his house. It's not too obvious though. He shouldn't be suspicious. I'm going to hide behind the hydrangea bush in front of his house. I'll shoot through it, try to take him in the chest and not have any hand to hand at all. Assuming I don't get the money shot right away— ”

  “Different terminology please,” Jack said in a strangled voice. Was he laughing or horrified? Actually, both were good.

  “I like money shot. If dad is going to send me out there to die, then I'm going to make this as uncomfortable for everyone as I possibly can.”

  Jack scowled at her and moved on. “Okay, you shoot him, he keeps coming and then what?”

  “This is clever, actually. I rigged up a bow and arrow thing so all he has to do is hit the trip wire and it will shoot him in the back. Assuming that doesn't cook his biscuits— I'm gonna knee him in the gonads and stab him through the heart!” She kneed an invisible attacker, then smiled at him.

  “Well, you scared the hell out of me. Okay, good. Solid. Has contingency options. Do you have the cyanide pill?”

/>   It wasn't really cyanide, but that's what they called it. It was basically a small ball of silver that would disintegrate into sharp pieces on impact. She'd once seen a vampire burst into flame when hit with silver.

  It would be a last ditch effort to save herself. If she was counting on that to save her, she was dead. Dread rippled down her body, leaving her cold.

  Jack's lips set into a firm line, his whole body suddenly tense. She held up her hand, not wanting him to say anything about her sudden fear—and it’s apparent obviousness.

  She needed to keep the conversation light.

  He understood, adjusting his stance and scrubbing a lean hand across his face, “Right. Where are you going to keep it?”

  “Pocket?” she said hopefully.

  “Ooh, sorry, that's a rookie mistake. How are you going to reach into your pocket when a pissed off and hungry vampire is going to rip your throat out?” His tone was playful and she appreciated the effort he was making for her.

  “What does your highness suggest?”

  He shrugged. “I'd keep it strapped to your wrist. Then you can just smash it against his face.”

  That made her heart skip a beat. She could imagine herself being trapped under a vampire and trying to smash this stupid ball into the side of his head before he killed her.

  Oh God, she was gonna heave.

  Jack handed her a little bracelet that had a soft suction like cup for the ball to rest in. She looked at it suspiciously. “Does this work? I don't want to be your test chump.”

  “Yeah, it does. I tried it two weeks ago.”

  She wanted to ask questions. Had he used it on an actual vampire? Had things gotten that hairy and dangerous that the fight had been hand to hand? But she didn't. He didn't tell her stuff like that and she didn't ask.

  “Okay. I'm gonna get ready. Leave before the nudity starts.”

  Jack left quickly, giving the door an extra tug to make sure it was closed.

  After getting dressed, Val laid on her bed. Nervousness made her feel nauseous, almost like she had two hearts frantically beating in her chest, instead of one.

  She wondered if Lucas would be there tonight. No, why would he? She'd only seen him that one time, although it had taken her months to feel like she wasn't being watched. Sometimes, she had the feeling that he was close by. Like if she just turned around fast enough, she’d see him.

  If he was there, would he help her again? He'd said he wanted to protect her. How many sleepless nights had that one line caused her?

  She looked at the clock. Time to go. At the bottom of the stairs she realized the house was too quiet and that she hadn’t heard her father come home.

  “Where's dad?”

  Jack flinched. “He can't make it.”

  “Well, there will be more vampires another time. Good job security, but shitty benefits in the vampire business.” She turned around, ready to head back upstairs and take off her black attack-wear.

  “He wants us to go anyway.”

  The air rushed out of her lungs, making her words a little wobbly. “He’s going to send me into this alone?”

  Jack walked closer to her. He was dressed in black cargo pants too. A black turtleneck with a few knife sheaths and a gun holster were on him as well. Very black ops. “I'll be there. I won't let anything happen to you.”

  She knew Jack would try to save her and that they might both die tonight. It would destroy him if he couldn't save her. Even though he'd been little, he blamed himself for the death of his parents.

  She felt the quick anger and sadness at her father melt away, become the more familiar feelings of betrayal and bewilderment. In a way, she'd known her father wasn't going to be here. Cancel the ‘daddy of the year’ award.

  They got into the car and Jack drove. He was a very cautious driver. Like a little old Italian lady. While other guys drove at a hundred miles an hour, Jack didn't want to invite more risk into his life than he had to.

  They parked down the street from the vampire’s lair. In this case it was a house. A house that had seen some seriously better days. It had a screen door that was hanging on for dear life and paint that had given up the fight, peeling off the walls and dropping to its death in flaky patches.

  Most of the plants were dead too. But a hearty Hydrangea and some ugly shrubs were still fighting for survival.

  I could totally die here.

  Fuck.

  The vampire who lived her was either a total loser or really liked the monster image. Really, if he couldn't be a rich vampire, then he was a moron.

  Vampires had centuries to get rich. They were strong and silent. They could resort to robbery, steal from their victims, but this guy didn't seem to have made it work. Having to take out a loser vampire would make it easier...right?

  Maybe he was a newbie.

  “What do we know about him?”

  “Not a lot. He came into town a few weeks ago. He went to a nightclub and killed a girl in the bathroom. She died of blood loss, obviously. They found him on the security tape. Gilbert sent us the info.” Gilbert Arthur was a Hunter in Australia who always seemed to know what was going on.

  It was odd. But the information was always good. Well, sometimes the vampire had left by the time they got there or the details were hazy but he was always right about the attack and location of where the vampire had last been.

  Val sighed, “What did Gilbert have that kept the police away from arresting this guy?”

  “Ah. That would be the missing security tape.”

  She exploded. “Gilbert is in Australia! Why is the tape with him? How did he get it, why does he know this stuff? Shouldn't we be the ones in the know? No, you. You should be the one in the know.” This wasn’t her fight. She was going to college.

  Her future involved keggers and one-night-stands. No doubt in that order.

  “I'll let the pronoun slide. No one knows where he gets his info from,” Jack said it wearily, as though he'd discussed Gilbert Arthur and his mysterious information a lot.

  “Anyway, this guy— ” Jack gestured towards the house, “he's laid low, but today he scoped out a playground. So, game over. Your dad doesn't want to risk waiting until he gets back. And this should be easy. He's poor for Christ's sake! What kind of self-respecting vampire would live in a dump like this? Honestly.” His voice was disgusted and she knew he was trying to make her laugh.

  It was something they'd always done on stake outs. Even she didn't want to be left home alone all the time. So sometimes she'd go along. Especially if she knew there was just about no chance they would encounter a vampire. Jack would only invite her when he thought it would be safe.

  She'd make hot chocolate and bring popcorn and they'd talk about school, music, tv, life. Play twenty questions. She liked those nights.

  They always trash talked the vampire in question. Usually, it was amusing, but it didn't work this time, now that she was the one who was going to be doing the fighting.