Damn.
I let out a breath as my heart shatters for my brother. This is going to kill him. I can’t help but watch Cole as he packs away some weights that have been left out. From this moment on, I know our relationship will never be the same. He will still love me fiercely, but he’ll always doubt me. He’ll always wonder if I’m being truthful and that fact alone has a tear escaping my eyes. I nod to Caden and give him a tight smile. “Thanks,” I say before turning to the door and leaving Rebels Advocate behind.
Chapter 14
Caden
I feel sick.
I sit in a booth at The Dark Room with Cole. He thinks we’re here letting off steam and having a good time. If only he knew I was a backstabbing prick who’s been fucking his baby sister.
This moment has been circling my mind for the past year and I feel like fucking scum that it’s taken me this long to come clean. He’s my best friend and I owe him so much more than that. Imogen is his baby sister and he loves her more than life itself. He would do anything for her, including protecting her from men like me.
Fuck. What the hell have I got myself into?
Seeing her today was one of the hardest things I’ve ever suffered through. I broke my leg and shattered my ankle when I was fifteen and I’d happily take that pain over the feeling I had today. I knew it would suck, but man, it was horrendous.
She walked into Rebels with this terrified look on her face and I knew it was because she was anxious to see me, though, she shouldn’t have been. It’s not like we had a nasty break up, we’re just two people who were sleeping together and decided to stop, but that doesn’t explain why I was anxious too.
All I know is she looked like the fucking sun coming in through my doors. I wanted to go to her. I wanted to tell her that we were fools for stopping. I wanted to tell her that I’d risk my friendship with Cole just to be with her again. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. She’s already made up her mind. She doesn’t want to keep doing our fucked up little dance and I respect her decision, no matter how hard it is.
Maybe after a few months, or maybe a year, we could work on regaining the relationship we had before we started sleeping together. The easy carefree one where she’d treat me like her big brother and I’d protect her as though she were my own flesh and blood.
Jesus. That’s a load a shit. I’ve never treated her as though she were my family. She was always more than that.
Since the day we started sleeping together, I’ve been asking myself why. Why am I doing this? Why am I risking my friendship with Cole? Why does it feel so good with her? Then in the past two days, why does my chest ache? Why can’t I stop thinking about her? Why do I feel as though I’ve made the biggest fucking mistake of my life?
I know exactly why.
I’ve been in love with Imogen Lewis since I was fucking thirteen years old.
I knew it the day I first laid eyes on her and I fucking know it now. I watched her grow and each day I would wait patiently for my turn, but I never said a word. We were just kids then and I knew that one day I’d have my chance.
Well… I fucking had it and I blew it. I let her think it was nothing. I let her think it was just sex to me. I gave her what she wanted and hoped that maybe one day she’d come around.
Fuck, I wish I could have seen this coming so I could have done something about it before it was too late. I should have been honest with Cole years ago. I should have told him that I was in love with his little sister and maybe he would have been thrilled, maybe he would have beat me to a pulp, but at least then he would have been ok with it when she was ready.
If only I had just a little bit more time. I feel like she was starting to come around like her feelings were starting to develop into something more. Hell, I know she has to like me on some level, otherwise, she wouldn’t be crawling into my bed half the time.
At the beginning it was purely just sex with no emotion, well, no emotion on her side. She’d smile, I’d get her off, and she’d leave. Even without the emotion, it was fucking incredible. Then after a few weeks, she’d stay for a bit and we’d chat. I’d order dinner and we’d chill out. She started kissing me after that, you know, the flirty fun sort, not the passionate, I would die without you sort.
But then, over the past few weeks, the sex started to change. She would find my hands and hold onto me like she couldn’t get close enough. She’d text me randomly throughout the day and I fucking loved it. Then came the other night where we had that connection. It was her way of saying goodbye, but deep down, we both know the connection was there and I find myself still holding onto it.
I feel as though she was nearly ready to admit that her feelings have grown and that she was nearly ready for something, but it’s happened at exactly the wrong time. Cole is going to have the shits and it’s going to hold her back from starting anything with me ever again. My fucking chances are ruined.
I’ll go back to being the fucking manwhore I used to be. Wasting away while I wait for something that’s never going to happen. I’ll be having mediocre sex as nothing could ever compare to the way it felt with her. I can just see it now. Girl after girl coming and going while I watch over Imogen from a distance. She’ll get a little older and eventually find someone who will love her the way I want to, she’ll have babies and they’ll call me Uncle Caden.
Fuck me. I’m pathetic.
Cole returns from the bar and puts a beer down in front of me, instantly drawing me out of my tortured mind. “Thanks,” I grunt over the sound of the busy club as I pick it up and practically swallow the whole thing.
“Whoa,” Cole says. “Slow the fuck down. Are you trying to write yourself off?”
Fuck yes. The same way I have the last two nights. I ignore his question, but apparently, it doesn’t matter as he launches into a rundown of his sessions from today.
I try my best to give him my undivided attention and not think about his sister but it’s fucking hard. I have no doubt that had Rylee not figured it out, I’d be deep inside her right now.
We talk about Xander’s fight and he tells me some bullshit about Rylee trying to convince him to do a charity fight, but he’s apparently still on the fence about it as he thinks it would make him appear as some old retired has been.
I laugh it off but my nerves are fucking shot and the laughter doesn’t come from deep within as it usually would. I let out a sigh as I realize I’m just stalling for time. I have to get this shit over with. I turn to him and prepare myself for a moment of pure devastation that I’ll never forget. “So, I’ve be-”
“I need a refill,” he calls over the sound of the club, cutting me off while trying to get up out of the booth.
“I’ll go,” I tell him with a sigh. What are a few more minutes?
I grab his empty glass and head over to the bar where Rylee is busily serving some customers. She spots me and heads over to get us some more drinks. “How’s it going?” she asks with a pointed look.
“I’m doing it now,” I inform her.
“Shit,” she grunts as she looks back over my shoulder. I turn around to follow her gaze and find Cole in our booth looking down at his phone.
“Yeah,” I agree with a sigh.
Rylee places the drinks back down on the bar and I go to take them as Cami walks down to meet us. “What’s going on?” she questions as she studies me. “You look like someone’s just died.”
“I feel that way,” I scoff as I turn around and head back down to Cole.
I glance up to find Cole on his feet, standing in front of the booth holding his phone up beside him. “What the fuck is this?” he roars as he waves the phone before me.
I narrow my eyes in confusion as I try to work out what the fuck is going on when I realize it’s actually my phone he holds in his hand.
I don’t know how, but he knows. He found out himself rather than by me telling him which is so much worse. Now it looks as though I had no intention of telling him like I was willing to keep it from him for t
he rest of time.
“Fuck,” I grunt as I place the drinks down.
“You got a fucking message just now and I was going to ignore it until I saw Imogen’s name come across the screen. It got me thinking, why the fuck is my little sister texting my best friend? So, I opened it and you know what I found?” he yells. “You’ve been fucking my little sister, you fucking prink,” he roars, before launching the phone at me and getting up in my face. He hasn’t hit me yet and judging by the fights we’ve had in the past, he’s still hoping he’s wrong even though he’s seen the evidence for himself.
I hold my hands up in surrender. “I was going to tell you,” I say, sounding like biggest fucking scum bag on the planet.
“My fucking baby sister,” he says in utter disbelief.
I don’t know what to say. I’ve thought of this moment a million times, yet right here at the moment, I’ve got nothing.
“I fucking trusted you,” he yells before shoving me hard. I fall back a step into the crowd and he moves forward with me. “You’re supposed to be my fucking best friend. She’s only a kid.”
He stands there for a moment and from the rapid rise and fall of his shoulders, he’s trying his hardest to calm himself, but there’s a raging storm behind his eyes and I’ve only just uncovered the surface.
I see Rylee from across the dance floor, standing motionless behind the bar with wide eyes and I have no doubt that in just a matter of moment’s she’ll be right here, and I’m thankful for that. I’m willing to take anything Cole needs to send my way, but without Rylee here, I could be leaving in a body bag.
Needing to say something, I say the only thing that could possibly carry any sort of weight right now. I let out a breath and let him see right down into my soul. “I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head, not giving a shit about my apology. “You’re fucking sorry,” he scoffs. “How long?”
“Huh?”
“How fucking long, Caden? How long have you been fucking my sister behind my back?”
Shit.
“Since April,” I tell him. The slightest relief comes over his eyes and I have no doubt he thinks it’s the April that’s just been, but I have to be up front and honest. “Of last year.”
“Fuck,” he yells.
I don’t even see him rear back. His fist slams into my jaw and my whole body is thrown backward with the force of his punch. My head spins and I blink open my eyes to find myself on the sticky floor of the dance floor with Cole holding me down. He sits over my chest with his hands fisted into the front of my shirt. “You fucking bastard,” he roars over the sound of the music before slamming me back into the ground.
I know I should be fighting him off but I don’t dare. He needs this and I deserve it.
Girls scream and scatter as they try to get away from us while the men in the club just continue on, not giving a shit about the two guys in the middle of the dance room floor. Though, if we’re here long enough, we’ll get the dickheads who’ll try to join in.
His fist slams into me again and a breath of air escapes my lungs. “Fucking do something,” Cole yells.
I’ve been in enough fights with him to know he wants me to fight back as he morally can’t keep going against someone who won’t defend themselves, but I simply can’t do it. I shake my head. “No. I betrayed you.”
“Do it,” he demands before his jaw clenches and his fist comes down again.
“Mother fucker,” I groan. That one fucking hurt. He gets a shot at my rib and if I was standing I know I’d be doubled over by now.
“Stop,” Rylee’s voice pierces through the crowd.
“Get back, Rylee,” Cole warns her.
“No,” she demands as she tries her best to get way too close to us, making it too hard for Cole to attempt to hit me again without hurting her in the process. “If you want to beat the shit out of him, that’s fine. Just don’t do it in my fucking club.”
His jaw clenches again and I see the desire to knock me the fuck out, and I don’t blame him. He fists his hands back in the material of my shirt and slams me down once again. “You better stay the fuck away from her.”
I nod my head and he eventually gets off me. Rylee leads him away and I’m left lying on the ground, wishing I wasn’t such a fucking prick.
With his weight off my chest, I take in a deep breath and find myself being hauled to my feet by Cami. She barely has enough strength to lift my arm let alone get me to my feet, so I help her out.
She leads me out the back of the bar and out the back door where the staff takes their smoke breaks. She sits me down before ducking back inside. She appears a moment later with my lost phone and hands me an ice-pack and a bottle of water.
“Thanks,” I grunt as I run my hand across my ribs.
She sits before me and studies me. “What the hell was that all about?” she finally asks.
I let out a sigh. “I’ve been sleeping with Imogen for just over a year now and Cole just found out.”
“Fuck,” she grunts with wide eyes.
“Yeah,” I agree with a scoff.
“So, this wasn’t some kind of testosterone bullshit, you legitimately deserved it,” she states.
I nod my head, but I don’t have to reply as she pulls out her phone. She hits a few buttons before I hear a call coming through her speakerphone. It rings a few times before Jace’s voice is heard. “Shit, Cami,” he says with desperation. “I’m… fuck. How are you?”
“You need to come and get Caden from The Dark Room,” she says in a tone that tells me she doesn’t want to hear a damn thing Jace has to say. After all, it’s only been a few days since he tore her to shreds and from the way he’s been sulking around, he’s regrets it, really bad. But I’m afraid the damage might have been done.
“Huh?” he grunts in confusion.
“You need to come and get Caden,” she repeats slowly while also pulling her bitch card out on him. “Cole just beat the crap out of him. He’s not good to drive.”
“What the fuck is going on, Cami?” he snaps in frustration as he still hasn’t got any answers.
“Caden’s been fucking Imogen,” she says bluntly.
“Shit,” he says. “I’ll be there soon.”
She hangs up before he has a chance to piss her off any further and looks to me again. She presses her lips into a tight line before her expression turns thoughtful. “Well,” she says. “At least someone is having sex around here.”
With that, she pockets her phone and disappears back inside.
As I sit and wait for Jace, my newly cracked phone lights up with a text message. I open it up and I’m not surprised to see her name across my screen.
Imogen – I’m sorry.
Without responding, I lock my phone and slide it back into my pocket, right where it should have been to start with.
Chapter 15
Imogen
I pull up to my parents’ place for our weekly family lunch and the first thing I notice is Cole’s truck parked in the drive. I cringe as I see it. Just the thought of walking in there and not knowing how it’s going to go is intimidating.
It’s been nearly a week since he found out and nearly a week since he’s spoken a word to me. He called me that night and absolutely lost his shit. The betrayal was thick in his voice and I couldn’t do anything except sit there and listen to his pain.
Shit, I must be the worst sister in the world right now. He must truly hate me.
It’s been really hard. He usually makes an effort to speak to me every single day, whether it’s just a quick text checking in or a visit. Not having him talking to me for so long is gut-wrenching, but the one thing I know about my brother is that when he needs his space, you better give it to him.
With a sigh, I get out of my car and make my way inside. I walk straight into the kitchen and the first person I see is mom. She turns at hearing the door closing and I see the look of pity right across her face. “Oh, honey,” she sighs before wrapping me in a tight h
ug and holding me close. “I always knew you had a thing for that boy.”
“I don’t have a thing for that boy,” I reply but let her keep holding me.
“Mmhmm,” she murmurs as though she doesn’t believe a word I say, and honestly, I’m not quite sure I do either. “For what it counts,” she says. “He would have made an incredible husband.”
“Mom,” I groan. “It’s not like that between us.”
She pulls me back but holds onto my shoulders. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Imogen. That man adores you and always has. It would have been like that had you allowed it.”
I let out a huff. I don’t want to hear it, not because I don’t want my mother scolding me for my reckless actions, but because everything she says is true. Caden has always adored me. He’s always treated me like I was his world, even when he was being an ass with my brother growing up, he’d always make sure I was ok. I guess I just don’t want to face facts. It was supposed to be about sex, nothing else.
“Can we not talk about it?” I practically beg, but really, I think if she keeps asking I might finally shed the tears I’ve been holding onto.
“Alright,” she says, “But be warned. Your brother’s out back and he looks furious. I’m certain he’s going to want to talk about it.”
“I know,” I groan. “I owe him an explanation.”
“That, you do,” she agrees. “You should have been honest with him.”
“I know,” I groan, getting frustrated at the way she’s pointing out the elephant in the room.
“Go and talk to him,” she says. “I want to get lunch cooked and it will never happen with you in my kitchen sulking around. I want your differences cleared up by the time lunch is on the table,” she adds. “I’m not having any cussing while we’re sitting down as a family.”
“Fine,” I groan before peeking out the kitchen window to the backyard.
Cole sits on the couch with a beer in hand, but from the way it dangles from his fingers, he’s not interested in drinking it. Just great. Cole is a party guy. He’s up for a beer anytime, except when he’s wanting to keep a clear head, and there’s only one reason for that right now. He wants to give me hell.
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