Elixir

by Hilary Duff

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah … it’s just …” I gestured down, feeling like an idiot for ruining the moment.

  Sage didn’t seem to mind. He reached down and moved his seat back to its maximum leg room, then held out his hand. I grabbed it and clambered over the center console, clumsily ducking and folding myself until I finally settled onto his lap, straddling his legs. It was the least coordinated act of seduction ever.

  “Better?” he asked.

  “Better.”

  He kissed me, sliding his hands up the back of my shirt. It felt incredible. Without breaking away from his lips, I reached underneath his tee and felt his bare, sleek chest. My breath came faster, caught up in the frenzy of finally letting go and doing what I’d been dying to do from the second I’d seen Sage on the beach.

  “Wait,” he said.

  He reached down and pulled a lever. I let out a little scream as his seat back dropped all the way and I fell on top of him. I loved the feel of his body under mine. I didn’t want a single part of us not touching.

  “Better now?” Sage murmured into my ear. It wasn’t fair of him to ask me a question when he was doing that. I could barely function, never mind put together an answer.

  “Much better,” I said. “It’s practically a bed.”

  “Is it?” Sage agreed, and in his eyes I saw exactly what that could mean.

  “Oh,” I said, suddenly nervous. “But … we can’t. I mean, we don’t have …”

  “I do,” he said, leaning down to kiss the hollow where my neck met my shoulder.

  “You do?”

  I tensed up. Why did he have one? For who?

  The corner of Sage’s mouth turned up. “For us, Clea. The drugstore in Rio? I kind of had a feeling.…”

  He moved his lips back to my neck. He nibbled on my earlobe, and I whimpered.

  “Oh,” I managed. “Well … then …”

  “I love you, Clea.”

  Everything tunneled in, and I heard the words echo in my head. Sage loved me. Me. I didn’t even realize I’d stopped breathing until he said my name, concerned.

  “Clea?”

  I looked at him and immediately relaxed.

  “I love you, too.”

  We kissed, and I actually felt myself melting into him as my last coherent thoughts gave way to pure sensation.

  eleven

  I COULDN’T wipe the smile off my face.

  I felt giddy all the way back to the hotel.

  I giggled.

  I was happy.

  Sage leaned back in his seat and studied me, an amused smile on his face.

  “What?” I asked.

  He shook his head.

  “You’re making fun of me,” I said.

  “I’m not,” Sage assured me.

  I knew he was telling the truth. His eyes were affectionate. I was his, not just in the past but today and forever, and nothing had ever made me feel more secure.

  I was about to pull into the hotel when Sage reminded me of the snacks—the whole reason we’d supposedly gone out. I swung a wild U-turn that slammed Sage against his door.

  “Taking up stunt driving?” he asked.

  “Can you imagine walking in without the snacks? Rayna would be all over me.”

  “You don’t think she will be anyway? It’s been a long snack run.”

  “It hasn’t been that long,” I said. “Has it?”

  He scrunched his brows. “What are you trying to say?”

  I giggled again, and we pulled into a gas station market. Sage wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I leaned against his chest as we walked in step into the store; he held my hand as I cruised the tiny aisles; he stood behind me and rubbed my shoulders as we paid.

  I felt normal. I imagined how things would be after everything was over: after we met the dark lady, after we got the Elixir, after we found my dad. Sage and I could travel the world together: me taking pictures, him painting, always coming back together at the end of the day to share what we’d done and lie in each other’s arms.

  Sure, there’d be some things to work out. Like the fact that he had eternal life and bands of psychopaths were actively tracking him down and trying to destroy him. But hey, every couple has its issues.

  Then, of course, there was the very good chance that I was destined to die horribly, just like all the others.

  I didn’t want to think about that, though. Not tonight. Not when I was back behind the steering wheel, pretending to pay attention to the road when every bit of my concentration was on Sage’s fingers entwined in my hair, playing with it gently.

  I parked as far away from our rooms as I could. I didn’t want Ben or Rayna to see us from the window. I turned off the car and Sage was already there, leaning over to kiss me. It was physically painful to break away, not knowing when I’d get to kiss him again.

  We held hands as we walked toward the hotel, but the second the outside lights hit us, we pulled apart. We hadn’t talked about it; it was just instinctual for both of us. It was better if Rayna and Ben didn’t know. Especially Ben.

  Even though Sage and I were apart, I felt his hands on me. I had a feeling I always would.

  “We’re back!” I cried when we got back to the room.

  Ben stood on alert. From his position, he looked like he’d been pacing. Rayna was sprawled on the bed, totally relaxed. A huge pile of expertly completed homework was stacked neatly on the floor.

  I dumped the two bags of loot onto the bed. “We have snacks, everybody!”

  “Where’d you get them from, Delaware?” Ben asked. He was glaring behind me, where Sage leaned casually against the wall.

  “Practically,” I said. “My fault—I was dying for Red Hots. Pretty much impossible to find. So what movie are we watching?”

  Back in the cave, Sage had told me I wasn’t much of an actress, and apparently he was right. I thought I put on a brilliant show, but Ben’s eyes were filled with suspicion, Rayna looked like she was ready to pounce, and Sage seemed to be working very hard to stifle his laughter.

  Rayna yawned. “Can’t do it. I’m so tired. I’m sorry, but I have to kick you guys out and get some sleep.”

  She wasn’t much better at acting than I was. I knew she wanted to talk, but the idea of being away from Sage killed me.

  “No worries,” I said. “I can bring the snacks to the guys’ room. We can watch there and let you sleep.”

  “Great!” Ben said.

  Rayna gaped, and in the space of ten seconds, she and I had a full conversation with only our eyes.

  Rayna: “What the hell?”

  Me: “I know! But I want to hang out with Sage.”

  Rayna: “Are you insane?! You’ll be with him for the rest of your life. I’m only with you until morning!”

  I couldn’t fight that one. She was right.

  “Actually, I’m pretty tired too,” I said. I even forced a yawn, though judging from Sage’s smirk, it wasn’t terribly convincing.

  “You sure?” Ben asked. He was staring at me in a way that made me feel X-rayed.

  “Positive. Take some snacks, though. I got dark chocolate M&Ms and Fritos.”

  “Sounds like a slumber party!” Rayna said.

  “Absolutely,” Sage deadpanned. “Look out, Ben—I do a mean French braid.”

  Ben paid no attention. He had moved closer and was looking at me suspiciously, like a dog whose owner comes home after playing with someone else’s pet. I almost thought he was going to smell me.

  “G’night,” he said. He had to brush past Sage to get to the door, but he didn’t say a word to him. Sage raised an amused eyebrow to me.

  “Good night, ladies,” he said, then turned and followed Ben out. It hurt to see him go, like someone had run an ice cream scoop through my core, but I knew that was melodramatic. I’d see him in the morning. We had our whole lives to be together. Tonight he could spend with Ben.

  I laughed out loud, imagining the two of them actually chatting, snacki
ng, and French braiding each other’s hair as they sat cross-legged on the bed.

  Then a pillow smacked me in the side of the head.

  “‘We can watch there and let you sleep’?” Rayna wailed. “Are you crazy?”

  “I know! I’m sorry. I took it back, though, right?”

  “You have two seconds to start talking, or I reload.”

  Before now, if anyone had told me that I could have a night like tonight and not want to tell Rayna everything, I’d have thought they were crazy. But being with Sage was different. It felt perfectly round and complete. If I said anything about it, I felt like I’d be giving away a giant scoop of it that I couldn’t ever get back.

  “It was really nice,” I said. “Thanks.”

  Rayna picked up another pillow, then let it drop. She wasn’t happy, but she understood. She also knew I wasn’t thanking her just for asking, but for everything.

  “Ready for bed?” she asked. “We have to beat the guys to breakfast so they don’t steal all the cinnamon rolls.”

  I loved her like crazy.

  We didn’t need to leave for the airport until around eleven in the morning, but I was awake by seven. For the first time in ages, I was completely well rested, but that wasn’t what had me so energized. I’d dreamed about last night with Sage—not some enhanced super version of it, but exactly the way it happened. It was perfect just the way it was.

  I woke up aching to be with him, and I was so impatient about it that I couldn’t even lie still. I wondered if I could knock on his door and get him without waking Ben. Could I use Rayna’s phone and text him? But Ben would be just as likely to hear the phone as Sage.

  This was so frustrating! Sage could be awake and feeling exactly the same way, but we had no way of letting each other know.

  I needed to get up and do something. A run would be perfect. I changed and slipped down to the tiny fitness room. I pushed out five miles, totally sweating out the worst of my anxious energy.

  Rayna was still asleep when I got back to the room. I showered and sneaked down to the breakfast buffet. I hoped Sage might be there waiting for me, but when I didn’t see him, I grabbed a huge tray of cinnamon rolls, a coffee, and a tea, then carried them back to the room. Rayna hadn’t moved. I took a cinnamon roll and waved it under her nose.

  “Mmmm,” she said, her eyes still closed. I waved it around some more, totally amused that I was messing with her dreams.

  “AAAH!” I screamed as Rayna’s head zipped forward and she chomped down on the roll.

  “Excellent!” she said, sitting up. “Thanks!”

  “Rayna! You almost bit my finger off!”

  “You asked for it.” She took another bite. “Mmmm. Oh my God, this is totally better than sex.” She looked at me pointedly. “Would you agree?”

  “Whoa, subtle much?”

  “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” She knew it was the right thing to say, but her eyes were so clearly dying to know that I laughed out loud. I actually wanted to talk about it now, just to keep it all alive in my head.

  I told her everything. Watching her reactions was like watching a silent movie: Her face registered every detail in IMAX-size emotions.

  “Am I allowed to have a moment of ‘ew’ for my poor deflowered passenger seat?” she asked when I was finished.

  I winced and buried my head in my hands. “Um … yeah.”

  “Thank you.” She paused a moment, then grinned and burst out, “Clea, oh my God!!”

  “I know. I know.”

  “So what happens now?”

  “We go to Tokyo, just like we’d planned.”

  “What about Ben?” she asked. “Are you going to tell Ben?”

  I looked at her like she was crazy.

  “Hello! Not like everything you told me, just—are you going to let him know you’re together?”

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t think so.…”

  “You really think you’re going to be able to hide it?”

  She had a point. I wasn’t sure I’d been very good at hiding how I felt about Sage before last night. Did I really think I’d be better at it now?

  “I guess we’ll figure it out,” I said.

  Fifteen minutes later there was a knock on the door, and I practically fell on my head trying to get off the bed and answer it as quickly as possible.

  “Graceful,” Rayna said. “Deep breath. Be cool.”

  I sneered at her, then pulled open the door. It was Ben.

  “Ready for the breakfast buffet?” he asked. “I hear there are great cinnamon rolls.”

  Rayna tossed the comforter over our crumb-filled tray. “Excellent! I’m dying for cinnamon rolls.”

  “Where’s Sage?” I asked. I was trying for nonchalance, but I kept straining to look behind Ben and see if he was somewhere down the hall.

  “He already went down.” Ben said.

  He did? I felt a pang in my stomach. He didn’t want to come to the room? Wasn’t he dying to see me as much as I was dying to see him?

  “Everything okay?” Ben asked.

  “Yeah it’s good,” I said. “Let’s go eat.”

  Sage wasn’t at the breakfast buffet.

  Even Ben thought it was strange—Sage had said he’d be down there. Ben wasn’t concerned, though. In fact, he looked a little giddy. “Maybe he decided not to come to Tokyo,” he chirped. “Oh well, we’ll do better with just the two of us.”

  I loved Ben, but he was seriously transparent.

  “We need Sage to get the Elixir, though.” Not that I cared about the Elixir at the moment. I was actually starting to worry. Where was Sage? Was he okay?

  “He says we need him,” Ben scoffed. “I bet the dark lady will tell us everything we need.”

  “Try his cell,” I told Rayna.

  She pulled out her phone and dialed. “No answer.”

  “Text him.”

  “Maybe he just bailed,” Ben said.

  Ben was just way too happy about this. I got it, but it was irritating.

  “He says he’ll meet us out front when it’s time to go,” Rayna said, reading his text.

  “So he didn’t go home,” Ben mused. “Guess he’s just unsociable.”

  I was about to snap at him when I realized I was being an idiot. Sage wanted to see me alone. His text to Rayna was a message to me.

  “Excuse me,” I said as I got up. “I’ll be right back.”

  “About time,” Rayna muttered. Apparently she understood the message way before I did.

  I walked toward the bathrooms, then darted off to the lobby and slipped out the front door, fully expecting Sage to sweep me into his arms and kiss me.

  It didn’t happen. He wasn’t there.

  “Sage?” I called.

  No answer. I walked around the outside of the hotel, but I didn’t see him. I tried everywhere. I looked behind every tree, every pillar, every row of cars. I knew it was all pointless—if he’d wanted to meet me, he wouldn’t be playing Super Spy, he’d be where I could see him—but I didn’t want to think about the alternative.

  If he wasn’t waiting for me … he was avoiding me.

  The air felt thicker and heavier.

  I walked back inside to the breakfast area. Rayna caught my eye as I entered and shot me a wicked smile, but it quickly faded. I saw all my fears reflected in her face, and I couldn’t take it. I veered off and shot to the bathroom.

  Thank God it was empty. I grabbed the sink with both hands and steadied myself as a sob broke from inside me.

  I shut my eyes and forced myself to take a deep breath. Another. I trembled, trying to hold back a fit of tears, but I couldn’t let them out and go back to Ben with a red, puffy face. I looked in the mirror and stared myself down, willing myself to get a grip.

  Three more deep breaths.

  I ran the tap and doused my hands in freezing cold water, then held them to my face.

  I was okay.

  I wasn’t okay at
all … but I could keep it together.

  I rejoined Ben and Rayna at the table.

  “You okay, Clea?” Ben asked. “You look kind of pale.”

  I forced a smile. “Yeah. Too many cinnamon rolls.”

  “There are never too many cinnamon rolls,” Rayna enthused, but it was only for Ben’s benefit. She launched into some kind of conversation to keep him occupied so I could sit and think.

  Why was Sage avoiding me? Did he regret what happened?

  But he’d wanted it. He’d prepared for it.

  Of course he wanted it, I imagined Rayna saying. He’s a guy.

  Okay … but he said he loved me. And Sage wasn’t just a guy. He was my soulmate.

  It sounded so lame in my head—“But he said he loved me”—like the ultimate naive-girl reaction to Mr. He’s Just Not That Into You, but this was different. I wasn’t being dreamy and romantic—I had evidence.

  The three of us stayed at the breakfast buffet until we had to grab our bags and leave for the airport. When we walked out the front door, there was Sage, leaning against the outside of the hotel, his hands shoved deep into his front pockets.

  He didn’t even look at me.

  I wanted to scream. I felt like every cell in my body was reaching out to him, desperate to get his attention, but he wouldn’t even glance my way.

  “Hey,” he said, nodding, as he fell into step with us, but he didn’t say it to me. It was like I didn’t exist for him.

  “Where have you been?” Rayna asked pointedly.

  “Went for a walk,” he said.

  I specifically went for the backseat of Rayna’s car, thinking Sage might sit next to me and I could at least find some way to get his attention … but he grabbed the shotgun door.

  “Ooh, I was hoping Ben would sit there,” Rayna said. “I always get turned around going to the airport. He gives the best directions.”

  She was good.

  “My legs are longer,” Sage said. “I’m more comfortable here.”

  Wow. He wasn’t even being subtle about it. He was going out of his way to avoid me. He settled into the seat—where he and I were just last night—and stared out the window. Incredible. He wouldn’t even risk meeting my eyes in the mirror.

  I felt like I was choking.

  Ben looked from me to Sage and back again, and his mouth set into a straight line. I could only imagine what he was thinking. The car was way too small for all the tension inside it—I felt like it was screaming out all my secrets. I needed to get out and breathe.