I Knead You Tonight

by Hunter, Teagan

  He disappears, leaving me standing here with a million questions and just as many reasons why this could never work running through my head.

  I can’t live with Winston.

  I hate him too much to live with him.

  We’d do nothing but fight all the time. He’d drive me crazy and I’d try to kill him.

  There is no possible way this could work.

  Unless we just kissed all the time, because I don’t seem to mind him then.

  No!

  I am not thinking about it. I can’t think about it.

  I’ve spent too much time over the last two days thinking about kissing him again. I can’t waste another second doing it.

  With those thoughts off the table, I still can’t find a good reason for us to live together.

  Well, besides all the ones he listed…the very compelling ones.

  I start adding up my bills in my head. Then I tack on how much I’m ballparking the car repairs will cost.

  I tally up all the diapers I’m going to need, the formula vouchers don’t cover, and basics just to get by.

  At the rate I’m going, it looks like I’ll be broke forever.

  Shit.

  I think Winston’s right. I think it would be a good idea if Riker and I moved in here.

  I’d feel awful putting him out like this, but he did offer, and it was genuine.

  Before I can talk myself out of it, I march toward the living room, ready to tell him yes.

  Only my feet screech to a halt when my eyes land on the scene on the back patio.

  Winston’s standing out there, one of those dreadful cigarettes in hand. Smoke is billowing around him, and although I think smoking is disgusting, I’d be lying if I said he’s ever looked sexier than he does in this moment.

  His shirt is stretched over his broad, muscled shoulders. His jeans hang low on his hips, hugging his ass just right.

  How is it possible he’s so attractive and so annoying?

  As if he can feel my eyes on him, he peers at me over his shoulder. Slowly, he turns, resting his back against the rail. He brings the cigarette to his mouth, the end turning a bright orange as he takes a long drag. My teeth sink into my bottom lip. I’ve never been so jealous of a cigarette in my entire life.

  A new cloud of smoke forms around him, swirling with the old as he slowly releases it through his lips.

  God, I feel like a fool watching him smoke and getting so turned on by it.

  His mouth turns up in the corners, like he knows he’s affecting me.

  Like he’s teasing me on purpose.

  Stupid, sexy jerk.

  I force myself out of the haze and march toward him, sliding open the glass door and stepping out into the cool night air.

  “Did you think about my offer?” he says coolly.

  “I have conditions.”

  “Of course you do.” He shakes his head, coughing out a laugh and stubbing his cigarette out in the ashtray. “Let’s hear them.”

  “What happened between us the other night, it—”

  “Our kiss,” he says, as if either of us need a reminder of what I’m talking about. “Go on.”

  “Yes, that—it can’t happen again. It won’t happen again. Just because I’ll be living here does not mean it’s pussy galore all the time.”

  He barks out a laugh. “Pussy galore, huh?”

  “Yep.” I wave a hand over my lady bits. “This is a no-go zone for you.”

  “So we can still make out?”

  “No!” I stomp my foot like a child. “No touching. This is strictly platonic.”

  “We can’t fuck as friends then? Well, hell. There go all the plans I had to bend you over the kitchen table during breakfast while Sully watched.”

  “Winston…” I drop my head into my hand, already exhausted from talking to him for the short time I’ve been out here.

  “I’m kidding, Drew. I don’t expect you to blow me every night for room and board. All I ask is that you pick up after yourself and Riker and we’re square.”

  “Square? You can’t let me stay here for free and not do anything. That’s not how I work.”

  “Well that’s how I work.”

  “It is not. You’re just trying to do me a favor, is all. You just feel bad for me.”

  “Not true. Sully doesn’t pay any rent and he definitely doesn’t blow me. He stays for free, too.”

  “He doesn’t pay for anything?”

  He grunts. “I didn’t say that.”

  “Then let me pay for something too.”

  “With what money, Drew? Besides, isn’t the whole point of you staying here to save money? That sounds counterproductive to me.”

  Shit. He has a point there.

  “Then can I at least cook for you guys? I have some mean skills in the kitchen.”

  “Kitchen skills but no bedroom skills—noted.”

  I huff. “I’m going to assume that’s a deal then.”

  “It’s a deal. Do you want to go get your stuff?”

  “Like…now?”

  “No, I was thinking six months from now, maybe on the third Tuesday in February. Yes, now.”

  “Oh,” I say quietly. “Okay. I guess we can do it now. Let me just go get ready and see if Sully can handle Riker for a bit.”

  “It shouldn’t take long. You don’t have much of anything.”

  I want to be offended by his comment about my meager possessions, but it’s too accurate for me to be mad about.

  “Be ready in five,” he says, brushing past me, making sure to rub against me as he goes back into the house.

  It’s a simple touch, really, but it still feels so good to have him against me again, no matter how fleeting it is.

  What the hell did I just agree to?

  * * *

  Winston wasn’t kidding. I don’t have much at all.

  In fact, it’s so minimal it only takes a single truckload.

  Sully was cool about watching Riker and even offered up his truck so we could grab everything in one go.

  Not like there’s much to pile into the bed.

  Hell, we even have some spare room.

  All my clothes can fit into a large box and Riker’s in a small one. I only ever kept enough dishes for two people, so there isn’t much to pack in the kitchen either.

  The biggest pieces we’re taking away are my broken entertainment center, my old dresser, and the lumpy couch I’ve slept on for months now.

  I sold everything else when I found out I was pregnant and squirreled away the cash.

  “You can call your landlord tomorrow and get everything sorted with him, right?” he asks when we pile back into the truck after everything’s loaded.

  “Sure,” I tell him, though I have zero intentions of doing so.

  Call me crazy, but I don’t plan to walk away from the month-to-month lease I have with my landlord—if you can even call the guy that—until I know things will pan out and Riker and I truly do have a place to stay at Winston’s.

  I’m not about to count my chickens before they hatch.

  Besides, my rent is dirt cheap at this place. It’s how I’m able to afford to keep living there. Luckily, if I’m not spending the gas money going back and forth to work, I can save that in case I need rent again next month.

  We ride in silence for a few miles, Winston the first one to break it.

  “You know, when I first met you, I didn’t expect you to live in the kind of apartment you do. I didn’t expect you to be so…frugal.”

  “You mean deadass broke? Barely scraping by?”

  He grimaces at my bluntness. “Yes.”

  “I wasn’t always so bad off. That came with being dumped by my baby’s father.”

  “Fucking douchebag,” Winston seethes.

  I laugh. “Amen to that.”

  He shifts gears when we pull away from the stoplight, and I watch as the muscles in his arms jump.

  Stop it.

  I cannot be checking him out if we�
�re going to be living together now.

  It’s just not going to be a thing.

  It can’t be.

  “You’re a really good mom, Drew.”

  His out-of-the-blue compliment has me whipping my head in his direction.

  “What?”

  “I said you’re a really good mom. You’re doing a good job providing for your son. He’s going to appreciate it so much when he’s older and understands the sacrifices you’re making. I’ll make sure of it.”

  Tears prick my eyes, but I blink them away.

  Clearing my throat, I say, “Thank you. Not just for that, but for everything. It means a lot.”

  He nods but doesn’t say anything else.

  And we spend the rest of the trip in silence.

  Slice Ten

  Winston

  “When did you say Mr. Schwartz would be done with my car?”

  “I didn’t.”

  Drew lifts a brow at me. “Well, do you have any info? I can’t be without a car forever. I can’t keep depending on you to give me rides, you know.”

  This weird feeling settles in my gut as what she says truly sinks in.

  She’s right. She can’t depend on me forever.

  I have to keep reminding myself this isn’t permanent. Drew living here is only temporary. Eventually she’s going to leave. She has a life to live that doesn’t include crashing at someone else’s house, no matter how convenient it is.

  Riker has a routine to get back to.

  I have a life to get back to.

  Not to mention the fact that we still don’t get along.

  We might be temporarily living together and sharing a bed at night, but we aren’t suddenly best friends or anything. We’re a hell of a lot more civil with one another, but things aren’t magically perfect between us.

  She still drives me wild, and not just in the I want to take you to bed kind of way.

  She’s messy. She’s bossy. A total know-it-all. Always in my space and my business.

  Despite all that, I’m not ready for her to leave yet. Which is why I haven’t told her the car is ready. It’s been ready…and paid for.

  Telling her would light too much of a fire under her ass. She’d be bailing out of here at the first sign of things looking up, whether she’s truly ready to or not. Then she’d just be back at square one and I’d have to rescue her.

  Again.

  Also, not that I’m willing to admit it out loud, I’ve grown used to having her around. This house is kind of lonely when she’s not here.

  Drew makes me laugh. Gives me someone to spar with. Keeps me on my toes twenty-four seven.

  Besides, Riker and I are starting to bond. Ever since that night I bounced him back to sleep, he’s taken to me.

  Which is why he’s chilling on the couch next to me watching SpongeBob—Sully swears it’s his favorite—while Drew gets ready to take a shower.

  “It’s not done yet,” I lie. “It’ll probably be another week.”

  “Seriously?” she groans. “This is taking forever.”

  “Hey, he’s doing it in his spare time, and for cheap. It’ll be done when it’s done. Besides, you have room and board and a ride in the meantime. It’s not a big deal.”

  “I just hate being a leech.”

  “No, you’re just stubborn and don’t want to accept help.”

  “Exactly—being a leech.”

  “Two totally different things, but whatever,” I say. “As soon as it’s done, I’ll let you know.”

  “Fine. I’m hitting the shower. Taking an extra-long one, by the way. Gonna enjoy this hot water while I have it.”

  She disappears into my bedroom, shutting herself into the bathroom.

  “Your mother is crazy,” I whisper to Riker. “Absolutely insane.” He giggles. “But we like her anyway, huh?”

  He giggles again, and the sound makes me smile.

  I turn back to the TV, settling into the comfy couch I no longer have to sleep on.

  Since Drew and I have been sharing a bed, it’s the best streak of good sleep I’ve had in ages, which is surprising because I haven’t taken a single hit of weed since I was a complete tool to her.

  At first, it was because I was afraid of what my loose lips would let fly if I smoked again. I hadn’t realized the fog I was living in, so wrapped up in the way the high chased the pain away. When I hurt Drew, when I said those awful things to her and saw the way they broke her, it made me realize maybe the weed was making me a different person, and it was a version of me I didn’t like.

  Weed affects people differently, and apparently it doesn’t just make me lazy—it makes me an ass.

  Then there’s the kiss.

  The one that made me soar.

  It was better than any high marijuana can give me.

  I haven’t felt that good in a long fucking time, and I want to feel it again.

  So I’ve been powering through, ignoring the growing throbs in my shoulder and back and riding the high of the memory of Drew’s kiss—just the memory, because much to my chagrin, our lips haven’t touched again.

  It’s not because I haven’t wanted to or we haven’t had the opportunity, but because I want to be sure Drew is kissing me because she wants to kiss me and not just someone.

  I laugh at something Patrick says, and Riker giggles like he gets it too.

  He’s four months old now, and I swear he’s getting bigger every time I look at him.

  “Was that funny?” I ask, lifting him onto my lap so I can bounce him on my knee. “Did Patrick say something funny? Is he goofy? Is he—oh fuck. What the hell is that smell? Jesus fuck!”

  I gag, and Riker laughs again.

  “You little…” I push up off the couch, holding him away from me at arm’s length, and grab the changing pad from the diaper bag.

  I’m getting way too used to changing shitty diapers lately.

  I get him situated on it, snap the tabs off, and peel back the loaded diaper like the fucking pro I am.

  Only there’s no shit.

  He just farted really fucking bad.

  I frown down at him. “You little fibber. You didn’t shit.” He laughs, and I tickle his belly. “You just have gas. What a little stinker. You—”

  It hits me before I can react.

  Riker pisses straight onto my face.

  “WHAT THE FUCK!”

  I place my hand over the stream, trying to block it as best I can.

  I grab a wet wipe and clean my face off, grab a new diaper, and get him changed before he can piss on me some more.

  He’s happy as can be the entire time.

  I stand him up and he gives me a shit-eating grin like he didn’t just whiz all over me.

  “You’re a monster,” I tell him.

  He giggles, but then his laughter quickly subsides into tears, and he’s having an all-out screaming fit.

  I grab his binky and take him to the bedroom, turn on his mobile—the greatest thing I’ve ever created because he absolutely loves it—and place him in his crib.

  He calms down within a minute.

  “Good boy,” I say, rubbing his head.

  I march into the bathroom and yank the curtain open.

  “Winston! What the fuck! I’m naked!”

  She does a poor job of covering herself, but it wouldn’t matter anyway. I don’t even care about checking her out in this moment.

  “Your son just pissed all over me.”

  “W-What?” she sputters then looks at my shirt, which is covered in pee.

  She bursts into laughter, her hands slipping away from her tits, a nipple popping out of her attempt to cover herself.

  Okay, now I’m checking her out.

  “Stop it!” she says when she notices she’s showing off more than she wanted, shielding herself once again.

  “What?” I roll my eyes. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

  “You haven’t seen me naked before.”

  “Please. You see one naked chick,
you’ve seen them all.”

  Except that’s not true.

  A naked Drew blows all the other naked girls out of the water.

  But I won’t give her the satisfaction of knowing that.

  She stomps her foot, annoyed I’m not blown away by her nakedness.

  “Can I help you, Winston?”

  “Yeah. You can save me some hot water.” I reach in and cut the flow. “I need a shower. Because, you know, your kid just pissed on me.”

  She cranks the water again. “Not my fault you don’t know how to change a diaper properly.”

  I reach for the handle once more but have a better idea.

  “You know what? You’re right. Why wait to shower when you’re done? I’ll just hop in with you now.”

  I yank my shirt over my head, tossing it to the side, and reach for the button on my jeans.

  “Winston!”

  I unzip them. “Scoot over, Drew.”

  “No! Oh my god. Get out!”

  I shove the denim down my legs and step out of them. I hook my thumbs into my boxer briefs. “Last chance.”

  She doesn’t budge, and I pull them down just an inch.

  “Fine!” she concedes, scooting out of the stall. “It’s all yours.”

  She moves quickly, snatching the towel off the hook and wrapping it around herself before I can get a good look at her.

  “You’re a jerk. I’m glad Riker peed on you.”

  “Your kid is a monster,” I say, stepping into the shower, pulling the curtain closed, and stepping under the lukewarm water. “Son of a bitch. Dammit, Drew! You used all the hot water!” I call out.

  From over top of the shower, I’m assaulted by towel after towel.

  “What the…”

  I glance down at the pile. Every single towel is now sitting in the bottom of the tub, completely soaked.

  “You little…” I glower at her shadow through the curtain. “Now I see where your kid gets his mean streak from.”