by M. A. Innes
I think he’d fallen off the deep end of crazy, but I wasn’t a doctor so that wasn’t an official diagnosis.
Kevin and Bryan had both given Miles permission to talk to me about their playdate because they’d agreed that, since they were coming over here, it made sense for me to know what was going on. I thought it was another way of easing them into the idea of strangers seeing Bryan little and that everything would be fine. But Miles didn’t seem willing to believe that.
“I think you’re worrying too much.” I smiled as Miles huffed. “But I’m taking your concerns seriously. That’s why we went out and bought another bag of cookies this morning. But they’re here to relax and see how it feels to be little with other people. They won’t be upset if they run out of snacks.”
Well, Kevin might, but he was a handful to begin with.
“Can you really see Ryland or Hayden pouting because there aren’t any more animal crackers?” I relaxed a little as Miles smiled and shrugged. “Then we’re not going to worry about it.”
“I’m not worried. I’m planning and being a good host.” He said it so sincerely I knew he wasn’t lying.
Just deluding himself.
The one thing I’d learned over the years was that just because he wanted to help others and saw past their insecurities, it didn’t mean he could always do the same for himself. Maybe it was because we hadn’t run into too many situations in the lifestyle that made him feel nervous.
With the snacks organized and the toys all set, there was nothing left to do but wait. Crossing the kitchen, I pushed away the bowls he’d been fiddling with and wrapped him in my arms. “Come here. We’re going to go sit down.”
It was still early enough in the day that it wasn’t too hot outside, so I started steering us toward the back porch. The swing was still his favorite place to cuddle with me. I knew the swaying motion would help him relax and maybe even take a nap.
We still had two hours until the guys showed up. Miles was running himself ragged and had been since first thing that morning. I probably should have put a stop to it earlier, but I kept hoping he’d see there was nothing to worry about as he talked about the day and what would happen.
No, he hadn’t gotten to that point on his own, so it was time for me to step in.
“But I still have to—” Miles started to sputter as he glanced back at the kitchen.
“No.” We were done. Food was ready. Toys were laid out or organized so they’d be easily accessible. We even had new cartoons on DVD, and I was assuming they were some of the guys’ favorites because it was an eclectic mix of everything from Scooby-Doo to My Little Pony.
“It’s time to relax. You’re going to take a nap, and by the time you get up they’ll start to arrive.” My sweet boy was still pushing himself to exhaustion trying to help everyone he could during the week, so he didn’t need this much tension on the weekend.
But with it being for such a good cause I couldn’t have said no, even if I’d realized how stressful it would be on Miles. He’d been little around others for years, so I knew this wasn’t about that side of him. It was that he was really worried about how the other guys would feel and how they would see him.
The barbecue had gone a long way toward alleviating those fears. They’d all had a wonderful time playing with the water guns and just having fun teasing each other, but this was taking it to the next level. Miles saw them all as family even though I was just getting the chance to get to know some of them, and he wanted it to go perfectly.
“But Daddy—” His voice softened slightly and it didn’t escape my notice I was Daddy now.
“No, Sleeping Beauty. It’s time for you to relax. We’re going to cuddle for a while before we get your clothes on.” He’d never be able to reach the right headspace later if I let the frantic behavior continue. “You want to be ready when your friends get here, don’t you?”
He sighed, nodding as I sat down on the swing and pulled him into my lap. “Then no more arguing with Daddy. Close your eyes and relax. If you’re a good boy, I’ll read you a book while you’re lying down for your nap.”
“Yes, Daddy.” Miles seemed to melt into me as the rest of the world faded away. We’d been cuddling like this for so many years his body knew what to do, even if his mind was still trying to whirl around like a tornado.
The rocking motion was so familiar his muscles started to relax within seconds, and a yawn escaped my exhausted boy. Dropping my voice even quieter, I started to speak as we continued to swing. “They’re going to have a wonderful time, and they’re going to love playing with your toys.”
I got a little head bob from Miles as his fingers caressed over my arm, holding me close. “They’ve all told you how excited they are and that they wanted to bring toys. They wouldn’t do that if they were scared or too nervous to have fun.”
Running my fingers gently over his head as we soaked up the motion and the sounds of the birds in the yard, I continued, pointing out all the ways everything had already gone great. By the time I’d finished talking about the barbecue, his yawns were getting wider and his breathing had deepened, so I knew sleep wasn’t far behind.
“Come on, Sleeping Beauty. Let’s go read a book while you lie down in your bed.” I chuckled when he groaned, shaking his head.
“Sleepy now, Daddy.”
I assumed that meant he didn’t want to move, but I wasn’t going to be trapped on the swing for two hours while he slept. I’d learned my lesson after getting stuck cuddling my sleepy boy when I’d drunk entirely too much coffee.
You only made that mistake once.
“No. You need to get a good nap before your friends come.” Helping him up, I ignored the sigh and tucked him close beside me as we headed back into the house.
I’d thought we’d spend a slow morning cuddling in bed, but that hadn’t turned out to be the case. Once he saw that they would all be okay, I knew we could get back to having a normal day tomorrow, but it was hard to watch him worrying over them when there wasn’t anything I could do.
As we went into the nursery, I sat him down on the bed and went over to the dresser to get him a new outfit. Shorts and his favorite teddy bear T-shirt over his training pants would help get him in the right frame of mind and would be more comfortable than the jeans he’d put on earlier.
“Okay, hands up.” Tossing the clothes on the bed, I pulled the plain black grown-up shirt over his head and reached for the soft blue one. “That’s better. Now stand up for me so we can change your pants.” I smiled as he stood up slowly, yawning again. Yes, my boy had been burning the candle at both ends all week, and it was time to recharge his batteries.
And maybe even put my foot down next week if the schedule continued.
I hated to step in and interfere with his work, but he needed a better schedule and possibly a vacation since I couldn’t remember the last time we’d gotten away.
“Good boy.” Stripping off his pants, I chuckled. “Should you be running around without underwear?”
“I forgot, Daddy.” Miles smiled and shrugged. “I was so busy.”
“Suuure.” Helping him step into the clean training pants, I pulled them up his legs and tucked in his half-hard cock. He was so cute. “Okay, lie down. I’ll put your pants on you when you get up.”
He nodded and sat down on the bed, curling up on his side. In just the T-shirt and briefs, he was the cutest combination of sweet and sexy. It was almost painful to cover him up with the soft blanket at the foot of his bed, but with the air conditioner on, he’d get too cold if I didn’t.
When I stood, he glanced up. “Book?”
“Yes, Sleeping Beauty, book time.” I grabbed his binkie off the nightstand and gave it to him before heading over to the shelf to get a fairy tale. I knew he wouldn’t even make it halfway through as I sat down and started. Being read to would always be one of his favorite ways to spend time together, but no matter what we did, I loved being able to see the sweet, tender side of my boy as he smiled
and let the story wrap around him.
****
The frantic worry from earlier was gone even though Miles wasn’t quite little, but I was keeping a close eye on him anyway. Luckily, he hadn’t been up from his nap long enough to get bored. I knew as he peeked out the front window that it wouldn’t be long before he either sank completely into his role or decided to be a grown-up as he waited.
I was leaning toward encouraging him to be little, but I wasn’t sure what would be easier on the rest of his friends. I just didn’t know most of them well enough to guess, but I was hoping this would start to change that. Miles might have begun his relationship with them in a strictly professional capacity, but over the years that had changed.
Surprisingly, it was Bryan and Maddox who arrived first. But it wasn’t surprising to see Kevin bouncing out of the car with a big grin on his face as everyone else eased out more carefully. Jeremy’s expression made me chuckle. He couldn’t seem to decide if he wanted to laugh or kill him.
I had a feeling Kevin had been a handful already today.
Even Miles noticed. “Kevin’s been naughty.”
“Oh yes, he might end up getting corner time if he’s not good.” From the description I’d gotten from Miles, I thought Kevin could probably be classified as a previously unlabeled middle. The number of times he got in trouble for teasing Bryan and generally causing chaos did not scream typical sub to me. So I was curious to see what would happen with him as everyone else got comfortable with their roles.
“Let’s go, Daddy.” Miles grabbed my hand, smiling as he tugged me to the front door.
Kevin was the only one who’d made it to the porch as we opened the front door. He was beaming, vibrating with excitement. “Hi.”
“Hey, glad you could make it.” Miles squeezed my hand as his grown-up side took over again, but the rest of him looked so calm I knew the chances of them knowing he was worried were slim.
“Wouldn’t miss it.” Then he rolled his eyes and glanced over his shoulder. “Even if some people were trying to make us late.”
I refused to smile and give him any encouragement, but Miles chuckled as Bryan snorted. “We aren’t late. You were trying to put us here too early. That would have been rude.”
Jeremy seemed content to let them verbally battle it out, but Maddox gave Bryan a long look, making him sigh. As they approached the porch, Bryan blushed and looked up at us. “Hi, um, thanks for having us over.”
Bryan was dressed very similarly to Miles, even down to the binkie that was clipped to his shirt, but even Kevin was wearing a cartoon T-shirt that would blend in with the rest of the littles. Smiling at Bryan, I tried to make him see there was nothing to worry about. “We’re glad you could come over.”
As far as first playdates went, this wasn’t bad.
Except they already knew each other and there wasn’t anything to worry about. “Why don’t you guys—”
My invitation to come inside was cut off as more cars started down the driveway. Everyone turned to see the rest of the group pull in beside Maddox’s car. Cody was the first one out, nearly as excited as Kevin. Ryland and Hayden weren’t far behind, with Hayden in a pretty sundress with bright purple shoes that sparkled in the sunlight.
Bryan smiled hesitantly at Hayden as he came up to the porch. “I like your dress.”
Hayden twirled around, holding his baby doll out in front of him. “Thanks, but Bailey doesn’t match.”
Everyone seemed to catch on fairly quickly that Bailey was the doll, but no one was sure what to say about the dress comment. Were they supposed to match? Finally, Kevin frowned seriously. “That’s sad. I’m sorry.”
Hayden looked up at Trent and gave him a pout, but Trent rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Brat.”
Hayden beamed but bounced over to Kevin and Bryan and shoved the doll at them. His unapologetic honesty about who he was made it impossible for Bryan to do anything but accept it and relax. After watching them talk at the barbecue, I’d thought they would get along well when they were both in their roles.
Cody was not going to be left out. But that would be almost impossible since he was dressed as a dinosaur. Wagging his long tail back and forth, he reached out to pet the doll like it was a puppy as Bryan gave it back. “She’s pretty.”
Hayden, who was probably Hailey at this point, smiled even wider and held out his prized doll. “Do you want to hold her?”
Cody didn’t seem to know what to say about that. His eyes widened. “I don’t want to break her. What if I do it wrong?”
He was clearly a boy who’d never actually been a kid. Judging by the look on Ford’s face, he’d already figured that out. Ford walked closer and stroked Cody’s back. “Why don’t you hold her gently and let Hailey tell you how Bailey likes to be played with.”
Cody nodded, taking the whole experience very seriously. “Yes, Daddy.”
As Hailey started to give Cody instructions on what his doll liked, Trent went back to the car and pulled out the bubble machine he’d mentioned bringing over. “This might work best in the backyard if they want to play with it.”
Cody and Hailey were still discussing baby doll rules and etiquette, but everyone else turned and their eyes widened at the promise of bubbles. Even Kevin’s. I chuckled as I heard Jeremy turn to Maddox. “I told you the extra clothes weren’t ridiculous. They’re going to get sticky and gross.”
“We brought paint, so yeah, extra clothes were a good idea.” Ford laughed as Maddox and Jeremy both groaned.
They were all so funny.
The differences in ages and backgrounds shouldn’t have mixed this easily, but aside from some lingering nervousness, they seemed to realize how much they had in common. “Come on in. We’ll put that in the backyard.”
As everyone started piling into the house, Ryland came up flanked by Holden and Finn. “Thanks for letting me come play.”
His voice was still quiet and hesitant, but nothing about his posture said he was nervous. “We’re glad you could come. There are snacks in the kitchen and lots of different things to do.”
“Thank you.” Ryland blushed faintly and added on a shy “sir.” He inched past me and followed the excited voices that were coming from the living room.
Since Finn and Ryland seemed to come as a pair, it hadn’t surprised me when Holden had called and approached the subject of Finn coming too. I was a more-the-merrier kind of guy, so it hadn’t mattered to me, but Miles had thought it was a good idea because Finn was so important to Ryland.
If I hadn’t known about his relationship with Beckett, I would’ve thought he and Holden were two Doms with a boy, but they just seemed to be friends. From what I’d been able to piece together from their comments, Finn had been Ryland’s surrogate Dom until he’d found his Daddy.
Of course they hadn’t called it that, but that’s what it had sounded like.
Finn and Holden both chuckled as they watched Ryland scurry away. Finn held out his hand. “Thanks for letting me crash the party.”
I smiled and shook his hand. “Anytime. Beckett not coming?” When I’d spoken with Holden, he hadn’t been sure if Beckett was busy or not.
Finn shook his head as he moved back. “He has too much grading, but he said he’ll try to make it next time.”
“Good. He’s always welcome.” I had a feeling he was trying not to overwhelm everyone. Beckett might not be little, but he was Finn’s sub and part of the group as much as everyone else was. It would also do the younger subs good to see other forms of submission.
Nodding, Finn glanced around me subtly. “Thanks.”
Holden laughed. “Go check on him.”
Finn grinned. “He’s going to be fine.”
“But he feels more confident with us around.” Holden shrugged. “I’ll be right in.”
Still grinning ear to ear, Finn headed inside, leaving us chuckling on the porch. I turned back to Holden. “He’s so much more confident now.”
I had only met Ryland a f
ew times, but the difference was startling. Holden’s grin turned teasing. “Which one? Finn has grown just as much over the past year. He and Beckett are so cute together.”
“Good point.” I glanced back toward the living room where laughter was echoing and gestured for Holden to head in. “They’re all so cute.”
“Come on.” Holden’s smile as he walked past said he agreed with me. “Let’s see what trouble Kevin is talking them into.”
“Jeremy has his hands full with that one.” I shut the door and we headed back into the house, following the laughter.
Yep, it was Kevin.
Miles must have given the guys cookies, or at least someone must have snuck them, because everyone had them clenched in tight fists as Kevin tried to talk Bryan out of his. As Kevin proceeded to tell him how important sharing was, Bryan was sending his Daddy pleading looks.
Evidently, Maddox thought Bryan needed to stand up for himself because he raised one eyebrow. “What do you tell Kevin?”
I had a feeling Bryan was seriously thinking of chucking the cookie at Kevin’s head and saying something decidedly not little when Jeremy stepped in. “Enough.”
It was Kevin’s turn to send his Dom pleading looks. I wasn’t sure if it was for more treats or for more opportunities to drive Bryan insane, but it could go either way. Time to distract everyone just in case. “Okay, we have some toys and games in here along with some movies everyone might like. There are also more toys in the nursery, and books as well.”
“And outside.” Miles looked longingly at the bubbles.
Smiling, I agreed. “Yes, outside with the playhouse and the bubbles.”
Having to decide what to do had most of the littles freezing with wide-eyed expressions. Hailey either hadn’t noticed or didn’t care because he looked around and grabbed Kevin’s hand, pulling him back toward the nursery. “Books. Read.”
