How will you know this is the way they feel and think? First, it is safe to assume so since you are the one pursuing and they know it. Secondly, you will know once you make contact.
If Bruce was bothered, he would have called earlier or called back after she called. Even if he was busy, he would have at least shown more interest.
Does it mean he dislikes her? No! Does it mean Maria should just move on? No! You cannot give up on getting what you want so easily. She just did not consider his mindset since she was the pursuer. She was already in a powerless position, so why should her approach be the same?
By understanding their mindset, you will be able to masterfully navigate around their sense of pride.
Maria calling most likely made Bruce feel proud, powerful and in control. Maybe he was playing the patient game of who is going to break first. He obviously has experience with women.
He maybe wants to find out if she can excite him, challenge him, or entice him. Can she be unpredictable? Can she be powerful, leaving him powerless in the process?
Do you see the pattern? That is right, it is the rhythm of love. If you seduce the person you desire to want you, to love you, to miss you, then why in the world would they dismiss you?
Why Do You Take Their Sense Of Power?
The reason is that power, control and a sense of comfort makes them feel that they are above you. Since you are the one pursuing, they feel more valuable than you. Pursuing someone is not a crime. It is you going after what you want.
But you want to do it the right way; you want them to be in a place where they see you as an equal partner who is equally valuable.
If not, why should they notice or be curious about you? Why would they allow thoughts or emotions of you to weaken and control them? Why would they feel for you or want you? Why would they feel the need to pursue you too?
The masterful art of pursuing is to make them see you as a valuable, attractive and desirable proposition.
CHAPTER 5: CHANGE AND SURPRISE
The Love Story
Maria had called back two weeks later. “Hey Maria, how are you?” Bruce asked.
“Hey Bruce, I am good. It’s been a while, how are things? I hope you have been fine?” she replied with an excitable tone.
“Things are fine. It’s great to hear from you. How’s life treating you?” Bruce asked.
Maria got the cue to unleash her master plan, which she had patiently waited on for so long. “I don’t know where to begin, so much has happened. The last two weeks have been wonderful, actually the best for a while. We travelled to Italy; Venice was beautiful. Just wow. We ate the most exquisite food.”
She took a deep breath, sighed and continued, “We then came back, and I finally faced my fears, we went skydiving. Jumping of a plane is the scariest thing ever. But once we were up in the clouds, it was so beautiful and liberating. You should try it. Oh! Oh, we did some climbing too. Then, I decorated my apartment, it feels like a new place. And I am back in the gym, I feel wonderful.”
“Oh, that’s great, you sound like you had an amazing time. Who did you go with?” Bruce asked.
Maria took a second or two and then replied, “Hey listen, I am getting a call coming through. I gotta go.”
“Oh, that’s fine,” he replied.
“I’ll catch up with you another time,” she said before ending the call.
Make Real Changes and Surprise Them
The art of seduction is a back and forth rhythm that blossoms into passion, desire and romance. It is achieved by pulling the person close to you so that you can hold them tight and then you surprise them by pulling away.
This time Maria has clearly changed her approach based on Bruce’s mind-set from the previous call. She first put in effort by doing things that would transform her mindset, self-belief and confidence. She went out and enjoyed her life. What she said and how she said it; it came from a real place — the depth of her soul. She did not fake it or make it up.
If you fake anything about you or lie, most likely, they will sense something is off. And if they find out, which they will eventually, then why would they stick around? You want them to fall for the real you, not the made up you, so they stay in your arms.
Maria put effort and time into herself, made the necessary real changes and exercised patience, and the result could be clearly heard and felt when she was ready to reach out again. She used her newly found attractive value and surprised him with it. Some might call her approach childish or vengeful, but the truth is, the rhythm of love is unpredictable, challenging, exciting, powerful, elegant, and enticing.
Maria is being unpredictable and challenging whilst she elegantly shares how exciting her life has been. Then she took charge and powerfully left. It was necessary because it is the rhythm that entices Bruce, he does not like the timid and weak kind. She left him feeling surprised with her changed attitude.
Change simply means you adjust and adopt to any situation and any challenges you face. You are able to actualise a better version of yourself in the face of adversity the person you desire puts in front of you. Your change or self-adjustment leave them surprised.
Surprise is how you are able to creatively express or showcase your changes through actions. Your proactive actions surprises the person you desire. Surprise could be the things you do or things you say that make them feel positively about you.
The change and surprise approach will leave the one you desire feeling curious. Bruce will be thinking of what Maria is up to. What is she doing? Is she having fun? Does she remember him? Curiosity leads to thoughts and thoughts create emotions.
Emotions create more thoughts, and the vicious cycle of endless thoughts begins. Bruce will be excited to hear from Maria again, because he has been thinking of her.
The aim of taking their power away is to create positive feelings so that the person you desire feels as you do, and they want you as you want them. It should not be used to hurt the person. If you do so, then one day someone will do it to you. Remember, karma has not left this planet.
Once they begin to swim in their own thoughts and emotions, you have begun the process of taking their position of power, control and comfort from them. Again, you only want to do this so that they value you, not to hurt them. And you should stop once they respond to you as a valuable person. Do you think Bruce will be so unappreciative of Maria again when she calls? And when will she call again anyway? He has been thinking about that lately.
The Change and Surprise Strategy is:
→ Your attractive value and uniqueness as a person.
→ The pulling in and pulling away technique.
→ And the use of absences to allow them to miss your presence.
Attractive Value and Uniqueness
Your attractive value and uniqueness as a person changes how they feel about you, and it keeps them surprised with something new every time you make contact. You are able to transform your essence, leaving them changed and surprised in how they see you.
In the second call, Maria sounded bubbly and happy, and she spoke about the things she did. That was her expressing her attractive value as a woman. She was basically saying: you are missing out on all these goodies, come take my arm to find out more.
Pull In and Pull Away
The rhythm of love is like a seductive dance where the movements consist of pulling the person close to you and pulling away, leaving them feeling emotionally provoked. The back and forth dance determines the depth of affection and desire the person you desire will have towards you.
The Seduction Dance Consists of:
→ The Pull IN - your rhythm should pull them in with excitement, power and enticement. Anything less would neither leave a lasting impression nor evoke thoughts or emotions.
→ The Pull Away - your rhythm should pull away with elegance and unpredictability, leaving them feeling challenged. The exit or break away should leave them wanting to get close for another dance.
The pull in is th
e attractive value and uniqueness of you as a person. Maria pulled Bruce in with her exciting lifestyle, her powerful control of the direction of the conversation and her enticing happy and energetic vibe. She did things her way, unapologetically. Bruce was pulled in, she was powerful, in control and she was very comfortable.
The pull away is creating distance or leaving the interaction with elegance, leaving the person feeling intrigued with your unpredictability. Bruce was curious after being pulled in, but Maria pulled away by ending the call when she felt it was right. She became unpredictable and challenging, but she did so in an elegant way.
The purpose of pulling away is not to play wicked games, hurt nor deceive the person; it is to establish attractive value and respect in the eyes of the person you desire. You use the technique when someone dismisses you.
Maria surely did not stick around after the second call based on her experience of the first call. Bruce was left feeling that she was neither needy nor desperate. Yes, she wants him, that is why she calls him. But she is not dying for him. That is the impression she left him with.
The pull in and pull away technique begins the cycle of curiosity, thoughts and eventually emotions about you. They will then begin to see you as equally valuable. The pull in leaves them with something to crave, whilst the pull away removes any feelings of neediness that may make them feel more valuable than you. One cannot exist without the other.
Absence To Miss Your Presence
Once you have pulled them in with your attractive value and uniqueness, and you have pulled away, you should utilise radio silence to allow them to assess your attractive value.
Radio silence means making no contact. Absence creates curiosity, which in turn turns into thoughts and eventually emotions. If they feel a sense of attraction towards you, they will begin to miss your presence.
But you cannot be absent for too long, or the emotions you induced will lose their weight and value. You must pull them back in for another dance sooner rather than later.
Absence while you are in pursuit should be between one to four weeks. Use a shorter timeframe when they are responding to you positively and a longer one if you feel they view you as valueless.
Also, the length of absence should vary between contacts so that you do not become predictable.
Use the absent time to make the necessary changes so that you are able to surprise them when you make contact.
The dance of love is the pull in to seduce them and the pull away so that you give them space to think about how you made them feel.
CHAPTER 6: ATTRACTIVE VALUE
The Love Story
“Hey Maria, how are you?” Bruce asked in his deep and soothing voice. It was a windy weekend afternoon, the cloudy sky obscuring scores of warm rays from reaching the hills of San Francisco. It had been a week since Maria had spoken to Bruce. She had planned her radio silence to be two weeks long before reaching out again, but Bruce had called a week earlier.
“Hey, Bruce, it’s nice to hear from you. I’m great, I’m actually heading out to meet my friends; we are off to a weekend trip.”
“Oh, wow, you’re always doing something. Do you ever have a relaxed weekend, you know, doing nothing?” A tingling sensation shot up from her ears to the back of Maria’s head, and it stirred up the biggest grin on her face, stretching from the edges of her lips to corners of her brows.
“Hello, are you there?” Bruce asked.
Not only did Bruce call at a perfect time; he had affirmed her efforts had paid off.
“I am here,” she replied as she chuckled. “Life is too short; we only have one. It is for us to make something of it and enjoy it. I don’t like sitting around doing nothing. Sorry, I have to get ready, my friends will be here soon,” she replied with a mischievous face. She had gotten better at her pull in and pull away strategy, but she had to be careful or she could over play her hand and leave empty-handed.
“Wow aren’t you something. Listen, how’s next Saturday for you? I know a great place downtown; they have some of the best food around,” he said.
Maria quickly muted her phone. “Yes!” she yelled from the top of her lungs. She hopped on the sofa, thrusting her hands in the air in celebration. “Yes, yes, yes!” she shouted joyously as she jumped up and down on the cushions.
“Hello?” Bruce called out.
“Oh, shit, I nearly forgot about him. Calm down, calm down, Maria! Breathe.” She stepped off the sofa, exhaled and unmuted the phone. “Yes, I am here, sorry give me a second, please. I’m doing something.”
“Okay, take your time” he replied.
She muted her phone again. “He finally asked me out. Yes!” she shouted, followed by an evil-like laugh. “Okay, calm your ass down, woman, stop acting like a teenager, don’t mess things up with your husband to be. Husband? Gosh, just the sound of that makes me excited.” She paced around the living room, gathering her thoughts. “I can tell him tomorrow, but I can’t cancel my schedule for him, I’ve been doing so well, all the effort and time it took to get here. I really wanna see him, though, I’m starting to forget his beautiful face, and his smell, ah. Gosh, I’m getting hot now.”
She sat on her favourite armchair, reclined it back, and continued, “Okay, you’ve come this far, you can’t stop or change your routine. Remember, love is challenging, exciting, powerful, unpredictable, elegant and enticing. Patience, Maria, patience. If you really want to win him over, you have to be patient. Stick to it until the end.”
She sat back up and unmuted the phone. “Hey, sorry about that. I have to go, they are here,” she said calmly, “can you call me Thursday evening? I’ll give you my availability then.” She bit her lip whilst squinting her eyes; they were hard words for her to swallow. “Sounds like a plan. You have a great time with your friends. Bye for now.”
Self Actualisation
Self-actualisation is realising your full potential as a human-being. Your full potential is the purpose or meaning of your existence. This may be your hobbies, interest, activities or career. A person who realises their full potential will have a sense of fulfilment; fulfilment means satisfaction or happiness within you.
A happy and satisfied person is appealing and valuable to the person they desire simply because they have a powerful, exciting and enticing aura surrounding them. People love to be around others who are doing amazing things in their lives, especially if the things they are doing are pleasurable and fun. Who wants to be with someone who is miserable?
In her first call, Maria was in a powerless position as the pursuer, and what made it worse was her inability to express an exciting and enticing purpose to her life. She could not because, up to that point, her life had been plain. But instead of being easily defeated, questioning her self-worth or labelling Bruce, she went out and she got busy on working on herself. She travelled, she faced her fears, she undertook challenging activities, and she worked on being healthy.
When she called the second time, the effort and time she devoted to herself paid off. She elegantly expressed her purpose in life, so much so that she had the guts to pull away after she pulled Bruce in. When Bruce called, she made sure, when she got the opportunity, to let Bruce know that she still had purpose in her life. And she stuck to her newly found self-confidence and purpose when she told him to call back to arrange a date.
Internal Transformation
Internal transformation is the inner change you undergo as a consequence of self-actualisation.
The transformation has to be real, or else the person will sense it eventually. Pretence or falsehoods may get them to pursue you, but it will not keep them around you.
You must therefore clean out all the negative thoughts, experiences and habits, leaving your mind with nothing but positive thoughts. It does not mean that all should be forgotten, it just means that you have transformed into a new you. Internal transformation is taking control of your emotions — your self-control should be effortless.
Remember, the person you
desire may employ tactics to test if you are the real deal. These tactics may be designed to make you feel:
→ Angry – it leaves the person you desire feeling powerful, in control and comfortable. Your attractive value decreases as a consequence of anger. Your internal self-control and presence should be challenging and powerful (two of six attributes of the of seduction).
→ Needy – it means that you view your happiness and purpose in life as revolving around the person you desire. You need them to exist or to be happy. Neediness sends a message of weakness and low value. Over pursuit can be viewed as being needy. Give them space while you focus on your fulfilment and making necessary changes. Let them know you want them, but you are capable of being self-sufficient.
In her first call, Maria did not let anger or bitterness dismiss or sabotage her chances with Bruce. Instead, she made an effort and she worked on herself. The results were obvious in her second attempt of pursuing Bruce. It left Bruce with a positive lasting impression, so much so that he reached out for the first time.
When Bruce called, Maria had the urge to see Bruce the next day, but she resisted her feelings of neediness, and she stuck with being challenging, powerful and unpredictable. She let Bruce know that she was in no rush, making her more attractively valuable in his eyes.
The Rhythm of Love Page 2
