Love, Chocolate, and Beer

by Violet Duke

  Rylan swiftly tugged her against his chest and effectively vaporized the distance she was trying to put between them. “Warm, huh?” He tilted her stubborn face up to his. “Well then I guess I’d better show you what hot looks like instead.”

  His mouth seized hers in an unyielding kiss that didn’t just burn, it scorched. Igniting new levels of heat he never knew existed, he didn’t relent until he felt her anger finally dissolve. “I’d never hurt you like that,” he whispered roughly. “What you saw was comfort for a friend, nothing more.” He shook his head with gruff tenderness. “You make me crazy, you know that? From now on, don’t stomp off without checking if your baseless ideas about me aren’t in fact insane.”

  Steadying his gaze on her liquid blue eyes, he brought his forehead down to rest on hers. “I’ll be here tomorrow night for the concert but I’m bringing a Valentine’s Day dessert to your house afterward.” His voice brooked no refusal, throbbed with undeclared emotions now tattered round the edges. “We can watch a DVD, play cards, whatever. So long as we’re together, I don’t care what we do. And if you and Coop are free this weekend, I thought the three of us could camp out in your yard like he’d gone on about last week. I got us a big tent so we—”

  Quinn grabbed him and halted the rest of his words with her lips.

  Surprise immobilized Rylan for all of one heartbeat before he pitched his arms around her and crushed her to him. He never wanted to let go, couldn’t if he’d tried. The pent-up passion she was unleashing slayed his ability to do anything but hang on for the wildest ride of his life. She kissed them both into a side alley and he nearly swallowed his tongue when she mindlessly slid one knee up his leg. Knowing what her movements were doing to her prim little business skirt was unmitigated torture. Quinn had amazing legs. And she never wore hose or stockings, a fact he knew from looking but not touching per the old ‘nothing below the waist in back and absolutely nothing in front’ rule he’d been tormenting himself with on each of their pseudo dates. He knew she’d been hurt by a lot of jerks in her life and he hadn’t wanted to rush her or make her feel like she had to do anything she wasn’t ready to do again.

  But now here she was, ready and offering, and damn it all but he wanted to accept.

  Unable to stop himself, he smoothed his hand over her hip until he came in contact with the warm, bare skin of her thigh. Even better than his fantasies. She shifted forward and his knees almost gave out when his fingers slipped under the edge of her skirt completely, dangerously close to curves he really shouldn’t be touching out here in plain view of the world.

  He yanked his hand back and pulled away from the kiss at once. Criminy. It would be his luck that the first time he actually got to feel those gorgeous legs of hers they’d be in public, unable to do a damn thing more about it. “Quinn, honey, this alley isn’t all that private.”

  It was as if she didn’t care. She leaned forward and slid her lips across his jaw, tracing her tongue down his neck before clamping her mouth onto the hard, beating pulse at his throat.

  A coarse groan, soft and low, rumbled out of him.

  “I love the sounds you make,” she whispered against his skin.

  He’d have made the same declaration to her if he’d had any mind left to voice, but he didn’t. She’d stolen all thought from him when her curious hands slipped under his shirt and flexed into his tense lats before scoring his obliques.

  But she didn’t stop there. Her fingertips slid down to tease the gap between his painfully clenched stomach and belt buckle, where much hotter flesh was rapidly gravitating to her fingers.

  Christ. He barely caught her wrist in time.

  Great, now Quinn let her inner sex kitten out of the cage. He’d seen that hidden fire in her all along, but evidently, he hadn’t known the half of it. “Sugar, I’m seconds from taking you to my truck and just plain taking you,” he rasped, his voice hoarse.

  Her blue eyes eclipsed, and all his good intentions shot straight to hell. A ragged curse spilled from his lips. “You’re supposed to say no, honey.”

  “But I want to say yes,” she whispered.

  Instantly, everything turned fuzzy. “Good god, woman.” Somehow—and he had no idea how—he still managed to force himself back, his body fighting every step he took.

  Then he heard the delicate, feminine sound of disappointment from Quinn and his feet simply refused to move another inch. He slid his hands around her waist and pulled her back to him again. “I need one more kiss, sugar. One more to make waiting for the rest bearable.”

  When her face lit up, his eyelids lowered tenderly. Damn, this was going to be a hell of a long kiss. “Concerts never start on time anyway,” he muttered as he bent down and captured her lips in a kiss so sweet he didn’t ever want it to end.

  A half hour later, during his band’s set, Rylan finally grasped what it meant to sing from the soul as he felt his throaty ballads resonate from depths his music had never reached before.

  All because of Quinn.

  * * * * *

  THE CONCERT turned out to be a raging success. Ocotillos had been packed, the musicians had all had a blast, and Dani had been thrilled to see the appreciative crowd of singles and couples alike all dancing and having a great time.

  Exhausted, Dani fell into her office chair and spun around so she could prop her feet up on the bookshelf behind her desk. Glancing at her phone, she saw she’d missed a call from her brother Derek. With a tired shrug, she ignored his voicemail for the time being. Really, the only voice she wanted to hear right now was Luke’s. But for some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to call him, an affliction she’d been dealing with all day. As a result, this was now the longest they’d gone without talking to each other...and the fact that she’d felt every lost minute was an unsettling portrait of how much she’s changed in the last month and a half.

  Yet another reason to feel discombobulated today.

  The news reporter asking her about being madly in love with Luke had really messed with her brain. All day since, she’d questioned everything—and doubted even more. Like the plague, spreading until it consumed her, the doubts and questions mocked her, reminded her that she wasn’t at all the woman a romantic like Luke deserved. Her eyes slid to the glaring evidence of that fact sitting on her bookshelf—the Valentine gift she was planning to give Luke.

  Her first Valentine ever.

  Choosing it had been a weird experience—thrilling-until-you-felt-naked sort of weird. She’d spent more time on this gift than on dozens of birthday and Christmas presents in the past combined. Each possible gift idea she’d rejected before this one had undergone tireless scrutiny and prompted endless unanswerable questions about their relationship.

  How did people do it each year? It was ridiculous.

  Leaning against the chair, she peeked at the gift again through one eye, seeing the second laughable evidence of her questionable sanity. She’d swathed the gift in red wrapping paper with pink and gold hearts and loads of shining curly ribbon. What had she been thinking?

  She hadn’t been thinking. That was the problem. Lately, she wasn’t thinking like herself at all. Stranger still, as lost as she felt lately, when she was with Luke, she felt found as well.

  Not exactly a less scary revelation.

  Picking up the Valentine gift, she peered at it and saw a stranger reflected back at her.

  Without knowing exactly why she did it, she found herself slowly untying the bow, watching as it fell to her lap. She slid her nail under the clear piece of tape next, pulling it off to peel back the bright wrapping paper. Soon, the gift box was stripped bare, totally unadorned.

  That was more her, right? No surprises to look forward to but no disappointments either.

  “Who’s the valentine gift from?”

  Dani gasped and spun around.

  Luke stepped into her office, his expression growing darker as he watched her shove the book-sized box into a drawer. “Who gave you that gift, Dani? The one you we
re just opening like it held all of life’s secrets.” His voice was raw, gritty.

  And hurt.

  Her eyes widened in confusion. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

  “No.”

  She shot up and went over to him, shutting the door. “What happened?”

  “I saw the woman I’m falling in love with give more of herself to another man than she’s ever given me.”

  She flinched at the stark pain tearing through her chest...until her emotions boomeranged back and changed to shock when she realized he was talking about her. “Me?”

  “Of course you.” His expression turned exasperated. “Who else?”

  “I j-just wasn’t sure that you...I mean, you’ve never said...” Her face went blank. “Wait, what exactly do you think I gave to another man?” Now she was the one annoyed. In fact, she became outright pissed. “What the hell are you accusing me of, Luke?”

  His sad, dark laugh clouded the air. “Nothing as simple as betrayal. Nope, you’ve been perfectly clear about what you want, and you’ve stuck to those expectations of us exactly.”

  “Luke, seriously, you aren’t making any sense.”

  “I came by earlier. I saw you and Rylan here together.”

  “And?” Her arms flew up in the air at his stony expression. “You’re jealous? Because you saw us talking?!” She was nearly shouting in frustration now. “Rylan and I are just friends.”

  He stepped forward, crowding her. “I saw it.”

  “Saw what? We were talking!”

  “It was more and you damn well know it.”

  “It was not! Nothing else happened. I can’t believe you don’t trust me!”

  “Unfortunately, I do trust you, more than I’ve ever trusted any woman in my whole life. I’m not under the misguided impression that you were cheating on me.”

  “Then what’s the problem?” Confused weariness quieted her tone.

  “The problem is that you were confiding in him, sharing parts of yourself with him that you’ve never once shared with me. Not once. I’m crazy about you, sweetheart. And as strong as my feelings for you are already, being kept out like that is damn lonely.” His voice lowered. “And hurtful as hell.”

  Shocked, she didn’t know what to say.

  His eyes softened. “Why, sweetheart? Why won’t you let me in? You’re willing to give Rylan, Xoey, hell most of your workers a place in your heart. But not me. Why?”

  “We just met,” she reasoned quietly.

  “Bullshit answer. Try again.”

  He was pushing her, and she knew he wouldn’t back down this time. She couldn’t look at him as she shook her head in a silent no.

  “I need to know.” He brushed the side of her face with his fingertips. “Please.”

  An impossibly long minute passed and Luke just stood there with the most caring look in his eyes, comforting her unconditionally for reasons he didn’t even understand yet.

  “Because none of them will leave,” she whispered finally.

  He stared at her, silently demanding more.

  “I know none of them will suddenly decide they don’t want to be a part of my life, tear the foundation out from under me, and leave me unable to stand back up again.” She stopped, her breathing broken, her eyes no longer hiding anything as they met his. “None of them will steal back the place in my heart I’ve entrusted to them and leave it so it can’t become whole again.”

  “And you think I will?” Luke looked at her incredulously as he hauled her into his arms.

  “No...I don’t know. But you’re the first person who’s gotten close enough to be able to.”

  He said nothing more, just held her patiently. Waiting...

  His silence eventually rattled her nerves to its boiling point. “I never used to have any hang-ups like this. I never once saw the need to look beyond the present with the guys I dated before you. Then you come barging into my life, being so freakin’ perfect and turning my wonderfully comfortable life on its ass— Stop smiling, dammit! I can feel you smiling!”

  As he looked down into her scowling face, his eyes glittered brighter. He bent down and kissed the snarl from her lips. “Can’t help it. I’m happy.”

  “About turning me into a basket case?!”

  He shrugged, blithely unapologetic. “You turned me into one.”

  “I think you’ve always been crazy and you’ve now infected me with it,” she muttered.

  “Sweetheart, that’s why they call it being crazy in love.”

  She harrumphed and remained stubbornly silent.

  His face turned serious then. “Dani, I’m not going anywhere. You can trust—”

  “NO,” she cut him off in rough denial, her voice firm, distant. “Don’t promise me anything. Just don’t.”

  Luke frowned, and she could see him struggling not to pry. She hadn’t told him anything about her past relationships. And she wasn’t going to.

  “Dani,” he said quietly, “look at the universe’s track record with my life.” He shrugged self-deprecatingly. “Trust me, I know there are no guarantees in life. While I can’t make any guarantees, I can tell you what I do know. I know how I feel about you. And my not knowing what the future holds isn’t going to stop me from wanting you in my life.” He turned her face up to his. “What I need to know is if that’s enough for you to let me be a real part of your life too.”

  Her eyes searched his. “I want it to be,” she breathed.

  He exhaled raggedly. “That’s a start.”

  “But it might take time—”

  “I’m not in a rush.”

  She thought about that for some long seconds. “I’ll try,” she said finally.

  “I’ll take it.” He swept her into his arms and kissed her long and hard.

  She broke off the kiss before he scrambled her brains fully. “But this doesn’t mean I’m some exclusive possession of yours now. You can’t get jealous every time I talk to Rylan.”

  “Honey, I wasn’t jealous, I was envious. And hurt that you never felt you could come to me. I know you need Rylan. Just don’t forget I’m part of your life now; you can need me too.”

  Dani nodded silently, burrowing in his embrace as he wrapped his arms around her. When she finally looked up to meet his gaze, she felt her heartstrings tug. The unfiltered trust now naked in his eyes where there was once a wary curtain of ‘casual’ affection showed her just how much he’d been holding back for her benefit. But now he was removing all the barriers, entrusting her with his heart and looking so vulnerable it made her heart ache.

  A gift like that from a man like Luke…

  She couldn’t possibly accept without first being sure he knew exactly what he was getting into. How broken she was. How she’d jeopardized his life’s work just a few months ago…

  “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you— ” she began softly.

  “I just have one last question—” he said at the same time.

  She shook her head nervously. “You go first.”

  “You sure?” The second she nodded, his words rushed out as if a dam had broken. “Okay, will you please tell me who gave you that Valentine gift? It’s making my gut burn. I won’t get mad, and I swear I won’t attack the guy.”

  Something told her he’d crossed his fingers behind his back before making that declaration. She shifted her eyes from her desk drawer back to him. Back to the drawer.

  “I’m faster than you,” he assured, correctly judging her intent.

  “It’s not a gift for me,” she said slowly. “It’s a gift from me.”

  “For who?!” he demanded.

  She rolled her eyes.

  A light entered his. “Me?” His expression became achingly tender and then utterly confused. “Wait, if it’s for me, why did you unwrap it? Are you not going to give it to me anymore?” He frowned. “Is it because of that interview with the douchebag on the news?”

  Cringing, she looked up at him with regret written all over her fac
e. “You watched that?”

  “Yeah.” He shifted his eyes away, hiding the hurt that came stabbing back.

  She put a hand on his arm. “That guy caught me off guard. I didn’t know what to say. I mean I haven’t even admitted it to you yet. Why would I say it on air?” she rambled.

  Gradually, a grin stretched across his face.

  “What?” she asked suspiciously.

  “You said ‘yet’ just now.”

  Her lips became a flat line. Then, as if avoiding the possibility of letting any more damning evidence slip out, she went to grab the gift. Gruffly shy, she stuffed it into his hands.

  “Are you sure, sweetie? Honestly, I’ll understand if you’re not ready to—”

  “Oh, just open it.”

  He took it from her gently, as if it did indeed hold all of life’s secrets.

  “It’s no big deal. It’s just a silly—”

  He quickly placed his fingers on her lips. “Don’t. Let me open it. Let me experience it.”

  She watched as Luke’s eyes widened when he saw what was nestled inside the box.

  A photo of the two of them. She distinctly remembered the day captured in the photo, though neither of them could’ve possibly known a camera was on them. She and Luke had been eating lunch at Ocotillos, and he’d automatically passed her the Sriracha sauce she liked on her sandwiches. The camera had caught the expression on her face when she’d looked up at him in surprise. In that one moment, she’d looked so unguarded, so happy, so…in love.

  Seeing the photo again made her heart swell with the same feelings she’d had that day.

  “Xoey took that picture with her camera phone one day when we were here,” mumbled Dani, shoving her hands into her pockets nervously. “I thought you might like it.”

  He nodded, still speechless as his gaze shifted to the intricate brushed-steel frame holding the photo. In silent wonder, Luke slid a finger along the carved ridges, instantly identifying the twined images scrolling all around the metal perimeter. “Dani, where did you get this?”

  Shrugging, she casually explained, “I had it made. My friend knows a tattoo artist who also does metal etch work so I drew a design and asked him to carve it. It’s nothing fancy...”