Her Fated Wolf

by Kristen Strassel

  “Holy shit.” This was amazing. “How?”

  “Like I said, I don’t know the whole story. Only what Aunt Connie can fill in. Very few baby girls were being born, and the wealthy wolves had started buying them. My parents freaked out, and left without telling anyone they were pregnant. There was no way to know what they were having back then, but Mom said she knew I’d be a girl, so they just got the hell out. They raised me in Atlanta, and I never saw another wolf besides them until I came here to take care of you.”

  “What happened when you shifted?” I couldn’t imagine not knowing any other wolves. We were social creatures, and we hated to be alone. That’s why I was thirty-two and still lived with my brothers. They were noisy and obnoxious, but they were awesome and my life would suck without them.

  Chandra’s eyes darkened. “We hid it. Stayed home, and it was weird and confusing. We lived in the middle of the city with nowhere to run. Now I know what I craved was forest, but I never had it. The whole reason I became a vet was to figure out what the hell I was. I kept up the lie, through college and even adulthood, because I didn’t know any other way. I lived with my boyfriend for five years and he never knew I was a wolf.”

  “He’s not still your boyfriend, is he?” I didn’t mean to growl, but fuck, the thought of another man touching what was mine sent an angry wave of jealousy rumbling through me like thunder.

  “Oh, no.” She laughed. “It took us a while, but we both realized you can’t build a relationship on deceit. It was mutual. He hid a lot of things from me too.”

  “He cheated on you?” I didn’t think I could be more pissed off.

  She shrugged. “No, but he wasn’t honest about what he wanted right away. He married his boyfriend last year. He’s so much happier. We’ll always be friends, and I don’t resent him at all. We loved each other, in a different way, but I couldn’t give him what he needed.”

  “Are you sure you’re a wolf?” I laughed, but she looked puzzled. “I can barely handle the thought of you with another man, and you threw rice at them when they walked down the aisle?”

  “I threw them a shower, too.” Chandra nodded when my mouth fell open. “He’d found his mate. I hadn’t. That’s the difference. I’d never begrudge anyone real happiness.”

  I kissed her again. All month I’d wondered what she’d taste like. She smelled like vanilla and jasmine, and she tasted like spring. Sunshine, new beginnings, life. All the things I’d gone so long without. Our tongues twisted, as desperate to know each other as the rest of us. Chandra sighed against my lips, falling back on the bed, and I was on top of her. It was going to kill me to go slow, treat tonight like what it was, the first time we actually got to talk.

  I couldn’t remember my life without her.

  My lips fell to her neck, chasing the wild pulse of her heartbeat.

  Someday, I’d sink my teeth into that spot, and her heart would belong to me. Forever. But not tonight. No matter how much I wanted it.

  “IT’S GOOD TO HAVE YOU back.” Major clapped his hand on my back when we walked into the shop. “The good news and the bad news is work’s been piling up, waiting for you. Plenty to keep you out of trouble.”

  “Yeah, like I’m the one who’s got to worry about trouble.” I laughed. A pile of work orders waited for me on my desk, and a stack of boxes full of parts hovered in the corner. I needed this. After a month in my own head, work would make things normal again.

  But I couldn’t relax. Everything had changed since my attack.

  Major went through paperwork, banging too hard on his laptop keyboard. He picked up an invoice and squinted at it. His vision was perfect, but he did that anytime he thought something was complete bullshit.

  “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath.

  “What’s the matter?” As a wolf, I understood everything. As a wolf on the verge of death, I’d missed a lot. “Is the business in trouble?”

  “We’re behind because I couldn’t fill all the orders by myself. We got a lot, the after Christmas rush like usual. So money’s down, but everyone was cool with the delay. Wished you the best. I still took a ton of deposits. We’re not in trouble with that, per se. But Ember’s made a claim on the land the building is on. Wants to buy it for her resort.”

  That didn’t make any sense. “How? Don’t you own the whole thing? The building isn’t floating on a cloud.”

  “There’s some ordinance in Granger Falls. It doesn’t make any fucking sense, I’ve looked it up and it usually has to do with when people think they’ll find oil below the surface of the land. There’s no oil here. But it’s legal. I’m doing my best to hold her off and stall the sale until we can get Southworth out of office. If she’s doing it to me, chances are, she’s using the same loophole to snatch up all the land she can.”

  “You’re doing your best to hold her off? Who the fuck are you?” I mimicked Major’s squinty WTF look. “You didn’t want to fight in the forest. You’ve never shied away from a battle. And I know you’re pissed at me for taking her on. I went easy on her last time—it took me a month to recover. I come back and everything’s a mess. I can’t take that chance again.”

  Major got up as a customer entered the showroom. His eyes brightened, and I took it as a good sign. “Things are different now. I’m not fighting without reason. I have to think of Cass and Emma. What would happen to them if I was out of commission for a month, or worse? You’ll see, if things work out with Chandra. You won’t be so willing to play with fire.”

  Every once in a while I had an overwhelming urge to punch my older brother in the face. Now was one of those times. “Talked to Cass, I take it?”

  Major nodded to the man browsing in the shop. Motorcycles weren’t a hard sell. Anyone who came into Choppers by Lowe had their mind made up to buy. We helped them build the bike that was right for them. Bikes were a spiritual thing. They weren’t a necessity, they were a dream.

  “Of course I talked to her. She’s right to be concerned. Chandra shows up just as the Montana wolves wreak havoc and looks like a fucking hero. Convenient. How long has she known about us? You’re not the first sick wolf. We could’ve used her after the fights.”

  “A few years.” Doubt crept in. I hated Major right now. “What was she supposed to do? Flaunt herself in the forest? She’s never run free. The minute she made herself known, she opened herself up to attack. It’s bad enough when we get our asses kicked. It’s worse for a woman. Not that she’s weak, but she’s more vulnerable, especially since she’s the thing that’s not supposed to exist.”

  “Yeah, you’re right.” Major ran his hand over his beard, acknowledging that the customer was ready to talk. “I know how bad you want this, man. I want it for you, too. But don’t let it blind you from the truth.”

  Chapter Five

  CHANDRA

  “Thank God you’re here.” Trina never stopped saying it every time I came to Forever Home. Now that X was better, I came here a lot. I missed working with animals. After I sold my practice in Georgia, I hadn’t found my forever home, so to speak. I’d worked at a few places in Boise over the last year or so, on a temporary basis, but I hadn’t wanted to go out on my own.

  Because I knew I had yet to find my place.

  “Anytime you need me, call. This is the happiest shelter I’ve ever been in,” I said.

  The girls didn’t have a ton to work with. They’d taken over an old cabin, and they only had the bare necessities—crates, toys, food, basic grooming and medical supplies. But it didn’t matter. These animals had no idea they were homeless. Trina, Kiera, and Lyssie made sure to spend time with every animal, every day. They gave them as much freedom as they possibly could. For a place that was usually associated with despair and hopelessness, it instead brimmed with love and possibility. Even better, Forever Home was a no-kill shelter. What the girls had accomplished here was truly beautiful.

  “You have no idea what a compliment that is.” Trina put the next dog on the table. He wasn’t done w
ith her yet; he covered her with kisses before he came over to investigate me. We were in the process of giving everyone checkups. Some of the animals had come to Forever Home in rough shape, but they were recovering nicely. “I hold my breath every time you check somebody. They can’t tell us if anything’s wrong.”

  I looked up at her, the stethoscope on the spaniel’s back. “If something’s wrong, we’ll fix it. I’ll call in scripts if we need them. I can ask them to send us samples, they’ll do that for shelters. We’ll get everyone to where they need to be.”

  Trina’s eyes glazed over with unshed tears. “You’re amazing. The old vet charged so much just for wellness checks. I never called her unless it was a dire emergency because I couldn’t pay her. Eventually she stopped taking my calls. I owe her thousands. Never gonna happen. Every cent we get from donations goes into daily needs.”

  “She charged you?” I couldn’t believe it. “I had a shelter day built into my schedule. I encouraged my staff to do the same. It was all volunteer work, unless we actually had to buy something, but still, I’d call the companies and explain the situation. That it was for a shelter animal and we’d get what we could. Sometimes it came out of my own pocket. If that...person you were using wasn’t interested in helping the animals who needed it the most, what the hell was she doing in veterinary medicine?”

  “I asked myself that every time I called her.” Trina chuckled, wiping away a tear that escaped. “You, my friend, are an angel. Shadow told me what happened during the full moon. That you shifted, and you’re from Sawtooth. That’s amazing. If you and X are a thing... Anyway, I just want to say, you’re always welcome here.”

  It was my turn to have tears burning my eyes. “Thank you.”

  The one thing I hadn’t prepared myself for was being rejected by my pack. Okay, maybe I was being a little dramatic, but their accusations stung in places I’d never felt pain before. My only living relative was Connie, an old, widowed wolf who’d been on the wrong side of pack justice for too long. My case was weak, but I hoped there was a piece of me that the Lowes recognized uniquely as their own.

  X did, that was the important thing. My body warmed thinking of him, breathing his scent; and he wasn’t even here. That was how I knew he was mine.

  AS MUCH AS I WANTED to call the Lowes’ house my home, I was still a squatter. Things changed with the shift. As the moon waned, I’d gone from caregiver to intruder. The only sanctuary I had from the quiet judgment and long looks was in X’s bedroom, but that wasn’t exactly comfortable, either. We were two strangers working backwards from a giant declaration. Getting to know each other with the ultimate expectation; forever, on the line was much more daunting than those horrible eight-minute dating sessions that I subjected myself to after college.

  Sleeping in the same bed with X didn’t seem like such a big deal when he was a wolf and I was a human. But now....yeah. Don’t get me wrong, I loved sex. But to me, it was something that made a relationship richer, a bonus for when we clicked on many other levels. I’d never been much for meaningless hookups. We couldn’t put the cart before the horse, no matter how strong the magnetic pull was between us.

  We had to do things right. We had no do-overs. There was no walking away from each other.

  Now that he shifted, we were still sleeping in the same bed. We’d been pushed into the middle of the relationship. The come home from work, fall into bed exhausted with barely a word to each other phase. In the week X had been human, he’d spent long hours at the motorcycle shop, trying to catch up on a month’s worth of missed work.

  And I was trying to fit in. Every day I found myself spending more time with the human ladies at Forever Home, and less time with the pack I was supposed to belong to. I loved the girls at the shelter, but the reality of it was hurting my heart.

  X switched off the TV when I came in the bedroom. I knocked first—his bedroom wasn’t mine yet.

  “How was work?” he asked.

  “Really good.” I sat on the edge of the bed like I hadn’t been sleeping in it for over a month. Then I realized how ridiculous this was, and crawled over and kissed him. I’d only meant to press my lips against his, I needed that connection, something that grounded me to this place. But X needed something, too. He rubbed my back, slow, circular motions, hitting tense muscles and giving them release. I relaxed, parted my lips, and let him in.

  I sat back on my heels, touching my fingers to my lips. Light danced in X’s eyes, and it was tempting to go back in for more.

  “We gave all the animals checkups today. That’s why I’m so late. We decided to power through it, in case I needed to order any medications or equipment for anyone. It’s easier to do it in one phone call, than to keep asking people for things. There’s only so many times they’ll say yes.”

  “Forever Home is an amazing place. I keep meaning to get back over there and see everyone.” X looked off in the distance, like he was watching something I couldn’t see. I didn’t know if it was a wolf thing or a memory. “Has anyone told you that we stayed there, as rescues?”

  My mouth dropped. “No.”

  X nodded. “We got captured, spent six months in wolf form. It was Hell. And the asshole who imprisoned us made us fight each other like gladiators every month. Half the town would come watch us rip each other apart. If we refused to fight, Ryker made sure we regretted that decision. Anyway, Trina caught wind of it and broke up the ring.”

  I knew I loved that woman. “That’s because she’s a badass.”

  X’s face lit up. “Here’s the thing, Trina had no idea we were wolves. Thought we were huskies. That other vet dropped that bomb on her. Trina could’ve sent us out to the forest, but she wouldn’t do that. She took a shining to Shadow, even as a wolf. It was mutual. She started bringing him home as a foster...wolf. Not sure what her logic was. I think she knew he’d keep her safe, but there was no way for her to know what would happen on the full moon.”

  “She must’ve shit her pants when he turned into a man.” I’d been shifting since puberty, and it still shocked me every month.

  “Something like that. She put a gun to his head.” X laughed. “Imagine Shadow naked and pleading his case to the business end of a shotgun.”

  “It worked. Good thing he’s running for mayor. Sounds like he can talk his way out of anything.” My laugh ended in a sigh. “I’m sorry that happened to you. There’s so much we don’t know about each other yet.”

  X leaned forward, taking my hands in his. His gaze was so soft. I don’t know how any creature with a heart could’ve tortured him. “Think you can skip out on work tomorrow?”

  “I need to make a couple phone calls, but other than that, I don’t think anyone would miss me.”

  “Good. I want to take you out in the forest. Show you what it’s really like here. We’ve got to do it as humans, for now. I want this to be your home, Chandra. I think it’s just as important that you fall in love with the forest as you fall in love with me.”

  “That sounds wonderful.” There was nothing I wanted more. My eyelids were heavy. Sitting on the bed sucked the last bit of energy from me. I scooted down, putting my head on the pillow. X mimicked my movement, facing me, but not touching me. “When will this stop being weird?”

  “Soon.” X pulled me in closer to him, my head wound up on his chest. Better than any pillow. “Stop worrying about what it’s not, and concentrate on what it is.”

  “BRING YOUR BATHING suit,” X said as he opened the refrigerator, grabbed fruit and cheese, then moved over to the cabinet for crackers and napkins. A cooler sat open on the table, and he’d already put drinks inside. He dropped his new finds into the container and snapped it shut. “We can pick up sandwiches when we’re out.”

  “It’s February!” I reminded him. My scarf hung over my heavy jacket on the hook in the mudroom. He didn’t seem fazed by my protest. “I don’t have a bathing suit.”

  “Fine, use your birthday suit. I guarantee I’ll like that better.” X wiggle
d his eyebrows, putting on his jacket and picking up the cooler.

  Emma padded into the room, adorable in her footie pajamas. “Where are you guys going?”

  “On a date.” X picked her up and sat her on the counter. “Did you already have breakfast with Delaney and Shea?”

  The three of them had a daily cereal date. She nodded. “I wanna come with you guys.”

  “You need to stay here and do your school work. No dates for you yet.” X kissed her forehead and helped her slide back down to the floor.

  “Boo.” Emma scampered out of the room.

  “Major’s going to lose his mind when she’s old enough to date, especially since she’ll be unpromised.” X’s smile didn’t fade when he turned back to me. Those caramel eyes set me on fire, and I was dying for a taste of him. “I pity the poor bastard who tries to convince my brother he’s good enough for Emma.”

  I leaned back against the counter. “What’s so good about dating an unpromised she-wolf?”

  “Everything.” X caged me in, inhaling my scent. Goosebumps erupted in his wake. I’d be glad for that scarf when I put it on. “Absolutely everything. Recognizing someone’s beauty when they’re wild and free, and claiming her for your own. Not putting her light out, but making it glow even brighter, so every other wolf in the forest knows that you belong to one another. I’m going to teach you everything you need to know about being a wolf, Chandra. Lesson one: we love the hunt.”

  I ran my tongue over my bottom lip, daring X to kiss me. He hovered so intoxicatingly close, but didn’t take my bait.