Alistair Grim's Odditorium

by Gregory Funaro

  “What time is it?” he cried as his case sprang open.

  I scooped him up immediately, tapped him on his XII, and thrust him back inside my pocket. The receiving chamber was painted black like the rest of Nightshade’s castle, so I wasn’t worried about the doom dogs. However, when I saw the look in Kiyoko’s eyes as she gazed up at the rafters, I knew that something just as terrifying was about to come for us.

  “The doors!” Kiyoko cried, unsheathing Ikari. “Run for the doors!”

  But I just stood there gazing upward, my legs frozen in terror, as one of the dragons unfurled its monstrous wings to reveal a hideous serpent’s snout and pair of glowing red eyes.

  “Shinobi!” the dragon hissed. The creature arched its long neck and growled, and then the other dragons spread open their wings and began growling too—their forked tongues lashing out like whips from between their sharp teeth.

  “Run, Grubb!” Kiyoko shouted, and thankfully this time my legs obeyed.

  The dragons took flight from the rafters. And as I ran for the door, the chamber became a bedlam of howling and rushing wind from the creatures’ wings. Certain that one of the dragons would swoop down upon me at any moment, I glanced over my shoulder just in time to see Kiyoko jump up into the air.

  “EEEEYYAAA!” she cried, her sword flashing like lightning, and two of the dragons exploded in a burst of blinding red light, their bodies instantly vaporized.

  Kiyoko flipped over and landed on her feet, but immediately another dragon was upon her. She slashed at it with Ikari, but the creature dodged her and, with a swipe of its great tail, sent her flying across the room.

  “Kiyoko!” I cried, and she scrambled to her feet.

  “Run, Grubb! I can handle them!”

  I whirled around. The doors were only a few yards away from me now—yes, I was almost there—but then a dragon landed in front of me and blocked my path.

  The monster hissed and gnashed its teeth, and it was then that I got my first good look at the beast. True to Kiyoko’s tale, the Red Dragons retained some of their human characteristics. They had the upper body of a man and two muscular arms, at the ends of which was a pair of three-toed talons that the creatures used to drag along their fronded serpent’s tails.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” the dragon hissed.

  I spun on my heels and made to run in the other direction, but another dragon swooped down and blocked my path too. It swiped at me with its talons, missing my face by inches, and then Kiyoko leaped between us.

  “EEEEYYAA!” she cried, and before the two dragons even realized she was there, the shinobi vaporized them in a whirl of flashing steel.

  “Thank you, miss!” I said.

  Kiyoko’s eyes met mine for an instant, when another dragon swooped down from the rafters and tackled her.

  In one moment I saw Ikari go skidding across the floor; in the next, I saw the dragon wrap its tail around Kiyoko’s neck—her legs kicking helplessly as the creature lifted her into the air.

  “No!” I cried, and before I could think twice about it, I picked up Kiyoko’s sword and buried the blade deep within the dragon’s side.

  The creature yelped in pain and swiped at me with its talons, but I jumped back, and the monster caught the side of my coat, shredding it to bits. The dragon swiped at me again, but this time I dove forward, slicing Kiyoko’s sword entirely by accident along the monster’s foreleg as I tumbled past.

  The Red Dragon flung Kiyoko across the room like a rag doll and made to charge me—when I felt the fiery hot breath of another dragon swooping down and snatching me up in its talons.

  For a brief moment I could see Kiyoko scrambling on the floor below. But then the dragon knocked Ikari from my hand, tossed me up toward the rafters, and, catching me by the collar, spun me around to face its snarling muzzle.

  “Bottoms up!” the dragon growled, its forked serpent’s tongue lashing at my face. There was something familiar in its expression—relishing and cruel, like how Mr. Smears often looked when he knocked me down. I cried out in horror, but just as the dragon opened its jaws to eat me, Ikari sailed through the air and pierced the creature’s head.

  The dragon exploded instantly in a burst of brilliant red light.

  And then I was falling.

  I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the impact on the hard stone floor. But just before I hit, Kiyoko caught me in her arms.

  “Thank you again, miss,” I said, sighing with relief However, as Kiyoko set me down, I spied the dragon I’d wounded opening the gates to the Great Hall. I could also see a blue light flashing between its talons.

  “Look!” I cried. “The dragon’s escaping!”

  Kiyoko snatched up Ikari from the floor and hurled it across the room. But the dragon was already too far gone, and just as the monster slipped inside the Great Hall, Kiyoko’s sword buried itself in the wooden gates behind it.

  “Come on!” I said. “We can’t let it get away!”

  “There’s no time. We’re already too late.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Kiyoko pointed at my chummy coat. One of my pockets had been completely torn away. Instinctively I reached inside the other, but when I found it empty, I knew at once what had happened.

  The blue light I’d seen flashing in the dragon’s talons—the monster had somehow snatched Mack from my pocket!

  “Mack!” I cried.

  “It’s no use, Grubb. The dragon must have stolen him during the battle.”

  Kiyoko freed her sword from the gate and slipped it back inside the scabbard on her back.

  “But we’ve got to find him!” I cried.

  “The Black Fairy will be here any minute. There is only one chance for us now, but you have to trust me.”

  My head was spinning—Cleona, Mack—what was I going to do?

  “Grubb!” Kiyoko hissed. “It’s now or never!”

  And then Kiyoko and I were running for the doors.

  As we slipped out into the castle’s inner yard, I spied the outline of a tall tower against the early morning sky. Cleona was in there. I just knew it. But instead of heading for the tower, Kiyoko made a beeline for a large, red-lit archway at the opposite side of the yard.

  “But Cleona is over there!” I cried.

  “There’s no time to explain!”

  I followed Kiyoko through the archway and gasped when I realized where she’d led me. We were in the prince’s stables, and there in the stalls were the massive, red-eyed steeds that had drawn the prince’s chariot when he attacked the Odditorium.

  “What are you doing?” I asked. “These are the prince’s horses!”

  “Would you rather ride one of those skeleton steeds instead?”

  Kiyoko snatched a bridle from its hook and leaped up onto one of the stalls. The horse inside whinnied and shot smoke from its nostrils. There were four horses in all, each with its name emblazoned above its stall. The steed Kiyoko had chosen was called Phantom.

  “You’re going to steal one of the prince’s horses?” I asked in amazement.

  Ignoring me, Kiyoko jumped onto Phantom’s back. The beast reared and shot fire from his mouth. I ducked for cover behind a post, but Kiyoko remained calm and quickly slipped the bridle onto the horse’s great black head.

  “There, there, Phantom,” Kiyoko said soothingly. “You remember me, don’t you? We’ve ridden together many times in the tournaments.”

  And with that the horse settled down.

  “But what about Cleona and Mack?” I asked. “Shouldn’t we find them first?”

  “My fighting skills are useless against the Black Fairy,” Kiyoko said. She drew Ikari and with it deftly unlatched the door to Phantom’s stall. “We need to flee before he comes after us.”

  Phantom reared up on his hind legs and shot fire from his mouth. The door to his stall flew open, and the steed quickly trotted out under Kiyoko’s command.

  “You mean you intend to leave without Mack and Cleona?”
<
br />   “We have no choice, Grubb.”

  “No!” I cried, backing away.

  “Mack is powered by the animus, is he not?”

  “Yes, but—”

  “And you said he does not need to be recharged?”

  “Yes, but—no, I—”

  “Don’t you see, Grubb?” Kiyoko said, trotting toward me. “Now that Nightshade has the pocket watch, he has his source of animus. He won’t need Cleona anymore to make his army of purple-eyed Shadesmen.”

  “But I can’t leave Mack and Cleona behind!”

  “Climb up, Grubb,” Kiyoko said, holding out her hand. “If we don’t leave now, the prince will kill us both!”

  “No!” I cried. I ran for the stable door. Cleona! I had to rescue Cleona! But as soon as I stepped out into the yard, I spied a pair of empty white eyes staring down at me in the dark.

  “The Black Fairy!” I gasped, stopping dead in my tracks, and then there appeared the jagged, black-and-white crescent of the demon’s smile.

  “Run, Grubb!” Kiyoko called from somewhere behind me, but my legs would not budge. And as the Black Fairy stood up to his full height and spread his wings, I lost all sight of the tower’s silhouette behind him.

  “Shinobi!” the Black Fairy hissed, turning his eyes toward the stables, and then he arched back his head in preparation to spit.

  “Leave her alone!” I cried. And I ran straight for him.

  “No, Grubb!” Kiyoko screamed, but I was already swinging for the Black Fairy’s legs. My knuckles exploded with pain as if I’d punched an oak tree, but the Black Fairy only laughed and swatted me away like a beetle, sending me tumbling head over heels in the dirt until I came to a stop on my bottom.

  Suddenly Kiyoko shot out of the stables and galloped past him.

  The Black Fairy screeched and spit his black fire, striking the ground and causing a spray of rubble only inches from Phantom’s forelegs. The great steed reared and whinnied, but Kiyoko quickly gained control of him and sped off across the courtyard in the opposite direction.

  Now the Shadesmen were coming—their armor clanging, their glowing red eyes bobbing to and fro in the shadows as they poured out of the barracks.

  I scrambled to my feet, searching for Kiyoko amidst the gloom, and caught sight of her galloping away on the far side of the yard.

  The Black Fairy arched his head back and spit another bolt of black fire straight for her—but at the last moment Phantom flew up into the air and carried Kiyoko over the castle walls. I saw them outlined briefly against the early morning sky, and then the Black Fairy’s fire slammed into the battlements in an explosion of smoke and stone.

  “No!” I cried—but as the dust quickly began to settle, Kiyoko and Phantom were nowhere to be found.

  Did they make it over the wall in time? I wondered in horror.

  The Black Fairy arched back his head, spread his wings, and screeched up at the sky in frustration. Then he whirled his empty eyes on me and bared his teeth.

  “Take him to the prince!” he hissed. “The shinobi is mine!”

  And with that the Black Fairy took flight and disappeared over the castle walls.

  “Fly, Phantom!” I screamed. “Carry Kiyoko away as fast as you can!”

  But then a host of bony hands clamped down upon me, and I was dragged away kicking and screaming, amidst a sea of glowing red eyes.

  For a long time afterward I was made to kneel before the prince’s throne with my nose pressed against the Great Hall’s cold stone floor. If I dared so much as breathe, it seemed, the Shadesmen would poke me in the ribs with their ax handles and growl at me to stay down.

  But that didn’t stop me from hearing.

  The first thing that caught my attention was the distant toll of a church bell, followed by the sounds of the castle coming to life outside. Doors slammed and footsteps echoed all around. There was a swelling sense of everything drawing closer, and then all at once the Great Hall was filled with the din of an angry mob.

  Hooting and jeering came at me from every direction, along with grunts and growls and words I didn’t understand. The chamber took on a putrid stench of livestock and rotting trash, making me sick to my stomach. I raised my head, seeking relief. There was no poke from the Shadesmen this time, and as I gazed about the Great Hall, I understood why.

  I was surrounded by a horde of horrible monsters, all of them pushing and shoving to get a look at me. The Shadesmen had formed a line to keep them at bay, but through their ranks I spied a group of short, fat creatures scuffling for position at the fore. I recognized their enormous heads and wide slobbering lips from the drawings in Mr. Grim’s notebook. Trolls. And upon their shoulders? Dozens of green, yellow-eyed fiends with toadlike mouths and snapping tongues. I recognized them, too. Goblins.

  The sickness in my stomach was promptly replaced with ice-cold terror. Scores of other creatures had gathered around me too, but before I could take them all in, I was startled by the loud clang of an iron door. The crowd fell silent, and a dozen more of the troll creatures spilled out onto the dais. Each carried a large, animal skin–covered drum, and as they lined up on either side of the throne, they began a slow, steady beat like a death march.

  The drums echoed low and ominous throughout the chamber, and whereas before the only fear I had felt in the Great Hall had been my own, I became aware of a growing apprehension amongst the crowd.

  A loud cranking began overhead, and I gazed upward to find one of the massive iron grates sliding open in the ceiling. The entire hall seemed to grow darker, the air thick with fear, and then a black-armored figure in a billowy black cape emerged from between the rafters.

  My whole body froze in terror. It was Prince Nightshade.

  Like an enormous spider on an invisible thread, the prince descended slowly from above. And when his boots lighted on the dais, the trolls stopped their drumming, and a pair of goblin attendants caught the corners of his cape. The Great Hall was deathly silent, the fear pounding in my ears as Prince Nightshade’s burning red eyes stared down at me from beneath his spike-crowned helmet.

  “Welcome,” said the prince, sitting down on his throne. The red gash that was his mouth broke apart in jagged strands as he spoke, and his voice was deep, at once both near and far away as it echoed forth from the empty black pit of his face.

  “You may rise, young Grubb,” said the prince—but I was too frightened to move. “Go ahead, lad. You have nothing to fear. Yet.”

  The monsters snickered and snarled behind me.

  Slowly—knees aching, my legs like jelly—I rose to my feet.

  “How old are you, boy?” asked the prince.

  “Twelve or thereabouts, sir.”

  “Impressive. A boy of twelve or thereabouts who at once proves himself more useful than any of my subjects here.”

  The monsters grumbled crossly, but the prince raised a hand to silence them.

  “Turn around, Grubb,” he said. “Turn around so your admirers can look at you.” I obeyed, and the prince shouted: “Behold the bringer of the animus!”

  The monsters gasped and looked at each other in amazement. Then the lot of them drew closer, teeth bared, their eyes bulging with hatred behind the line of Shadesmen that held them at bay.

  Prince Nightshade chuckled—a guttural, menacing chuckle that sent a chill down my spine. “That will do, Grubb,” he said. “You may turn around again.”

  I obeyed, and the prince leaned forward on his throne.

  “Tell me, lad,” he said, “does Alistair Grim know why I want the animus?”

  “Yes, sir—”

  “Yes, sire,” said the prince, gently correcting me, and I gulped.

  “Yes, sire,” I said. “Mr. Grim says you want to mix the blue animus with your red Eye of Mars energy to make an army of purple-eyed Shadesmen.”

  “Your candor is much appreciated,” said the prince with a smile. “And so I will assume that Alistair Grim also knows about our archaeological rivalry these last ten
years—a rivalry of which I had been entirely unaware until the unexpected discovery of the animus in London. Alistair Grim has you to thank for that little mishap, does he not?”

  I looked down guiltily at my shoes.

  “How deliciously ironic,” said the prince. “Alistair Grim covers the walls of his Odditorium with magic paint, just as I have done my castle, then has me gadding about the world chasing doom dogs—all the while the animus was right there under my nose!”

  The prince chuckled loudly, and the monsters mumbled and grumbled behind me.

  “And as if that wasn’t enough,” the prince went on, “who would’ve thought Alistair Grim a collector of magicalia, too? He never gave the slightest indication that he was interested in such things. Then again, knowing Alistair Grim, I’m certain he would never use an ordinary word like magicalia.”

  I swallowed hard and shifted uncomfortably. But despite my terror, the prince’s comments about “knowing Alistair Grim” were not lost on me.

  Nigel was right, I thought. Whoever this Prince Nightshade was, not only had he murdered Abel Wortley ten years ago, but he must also have been one of Mr. Grim’s society friends from London!

  “Magicalia,” the Prince muttered to himself. “No, no, no, Alistair Grim would think a word like that too ordinary, indeed. And given the name of his establishment, let’s see…how about Odditoria? That seems like something Alistair Grim might say.”

  I gazed up at him in disbelief.

  “Ah yes,” said the prince. “The answer is in your eyes, young Grubb. Odditoria it is then. Has a pleasant ring to it, I must admit. Odd-ih-tor-ee-ahhh…”

  The prince’s eyes dimmed slightly, as if he was lost in thought. A heavy silence fell over the hall, and then one of his goblin attendants whispered something in his ear.

  “But of course,” said the prince. “You see, Grubb, since for over a decade now I have been unsuccessful in acquiring a spirit that would give me its animus, I am thus forever in your debt for bringing me something much, much better.”

  The prince reached into his belt and pulled out McClintock.

  “Mack!” I cried, rushing forward, but the Shadesmen immediately restrained me. “Give him back!” I shouted, struggling. “He belongs to Mr. Grim!”