by Toni Aleo
“Maybe as bad as I want you?” I ask before rising to my knees and pulling his shorts down.
“Fucking hell,” he cries out as his hands slam hard onto the door above me. Taking his engorged flesh into my hand, I shiver from the chills of seeing him like this. He is so gorgeous. His body so tight and hot. He has such beautiful, defined muscles and a body that is mouthwatering, to say the least. I’ve waited to taste him like this for so long, and nothing is going to stop me now. Taking him into my mouth, I run my tongue along the head of his cock, his groans urging me on as I suck him hard into my mouth, to the back of my throat, gagging a bit. “You are so gorgeous,” he whispers, moving the hair that has escaped my ponytail back behind my ear. “So fucking beautiful.”
Doing it over and over again, I take him to the back of my throat. I’m dripping with desire, my heart thumping hard against my ribs, and I’m shaking with need. His words vibrate my soul, and I could honestly come just from his voice. It’s so rough and dirty, and he’s driving me wild. His cock pulses in my mouth, and it feels like he’s almost there.
Pulling away, I open the package with my teeth before sheathing him with the latex. I stand up and he pushes me against the door again, taking my face in his large hands and kissing the living hell out of me. He kisses with meaning, if that make sense. Almost like it’s his last kiss every time. Drinking me in and savoring everything about me. I love it. I love the way it makes me feel. Never in my life have I been kissed like this. It’s amazing.
And when he pulls back, his eyes locked with mine, I feel beautiful. Simply breathtaking. And that doesn’t happen often, except under his intense gaze.
When he presses his cock against my soft, wet center, I’m shaking with anticipation. I haven’t had sex in a long time, and fuck, I want him. If I feel this uncontrollable and incredible without him in me, Lord knows what’s gonna happen once he’s inside me. Hooking my leg up, he looks deep into my eyes, sharing the same breath before asking, “Ready?”
Nodding with nothing holding me back, I gasp for breath. “Please, fuck me,” I say. “Hard.”
He grins before running his tongue along his lips, his eyes locked on mine. I love his eyes. They tell me everything I need to know, and I know he wants me. He wants me more than his next breath, and jeez, I just want him to take me. Now.
“I want to taste you first.”
He then drops down before burying his face between my legs. Arching off the wall, I cry out as he licks me to the point where I can’t even form a coherent thought. The only other time I’ve ever felt like this is when I’ve been drunk, and that’s how I would describe Jayden. He’s the drink that gets me all kinds of fucked up, and while I hate feeling like that, being so out of control, I love this. Nothing is holding me back, there is nothing to think about, only Jayden. Jayden is the only thing I need to think about.
Biting into my lip to keep from crying out and letting the rink know I am getting the greatest pleasure of my life, I close my eyes, moving my pussy along his face. When he pulls back, I whimper, wanting the release I so desperately need.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart, you’ll come, but with me in you.”
“Never happens,” I say as he pushes his body against mine. His eyes hold mine; they are full of heat and all things dirty.
“It will today,” he says almost like a promise.
“You can try,” I say breathlessly with a chuckle. “But no one has succeeded.”
He bites into my lip and his eyes burn into mine as I gasp. “Why do you insist on challenging me all the fucking time?”
I smile, running my nose along his, sharing the same breath. “Because I know you like it.”
“I do. A lot,” he whispers, kissing me long and hard as his fingers dance along the back of my knee. I’ve never come during sex, but when he opens his eyes, meeting my gaze, I feel like I might with him.
And that excites me to no end.
Digging his fingers into the back of my knee, he kisses me again, and I close my eyes, getting lost in the kiss. He kisses like a dream. His lips are so talented, just like the rest of him, and I don’t want him to stop. Ever. When he finally moves his cock to my entrance, I suck in a deep breath before his eyes meet mine. With a grin tugging at his lips, he slowly pushes all the way into me, taking my breath with each disappearing inch of him. Crying out when he reaches the hilt, I wrap my arms tightly around his neck as he lifts my other leg, his fingers biting into me, but I don’t care.
I need it.
I hold him inside me and we both take in a breath, looking deep into each other’s eyes.
“Remember when I said you are the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen?”
Biting my lip, I nod slowly. He smiles, coming in close, his lips only a breath away as he whispers, “I wasn’t joking. But seeing you now, like this, I’m convinced that I’ll never be able to see anyone but you.”
“Always a way with words,” I say, and he grins.
“What can I say, you bring out the poet in me.”
Kissing my nose, he then presses his lips to mine, and something moves in my chest and snaps. Not sure what it is, and I can’t even label it right now, but I feel like something has happened. Something has changed.
And it scares me.
But then he is slamming into me, and I’m done thinking. Over and over again, our bodies slapping together in the most delicious way as I cry out with each thrust. It hurts, it feels good, it’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt. When he grazes his teeth along my neck, I squeeze him. And like he thought I would, I come all over his cock. For the first time ever. That should tell me something, that this is something, but no way am I touching that. Instead, I dig my nails into his back as he thrusts into me, taking my breath away. Filling me in the most perfect way. The way I’ve craved for years.
When he comes, I feel like I can’t breathe as he groans against my neck, my name falling from his lips in the loveliest way. Closing my eyes, I welcome his weight as he leans into me, his cock pulsating inside me. We don’t move. I can feel his heart beating hard in his chest, and mine is doing the same. Opening my eyes, I look up at the ceiling as I gasp for breath. Kissing up my throat and then my jaw, he brings my face down so his mouth can connect with mine.
As we kiss, my body trembles, and I can’t believe this just happened. When he pulls back, I open my eyes, meeting his gaze as he flashes me a sweet little grin that hits me straight in the gut. His eyes tell me this was more than just sex. Hell, I knew that, but how could I have been so fucking stupid? I may have wanted this, I did want this, but I don’t want what he does.
Oh my God, or do I?
Holy shit.
That was the best sex of my life.
Like my whole life.
But damn it!
She wants to dip out on me.
I can see it in her eyes. She’s freaking out and that really pisses me off. For once, she let go, and it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. But now, she regrets it all. I don’t though, not even in the slightest. I don’t care that she is scared or freaked out; it was amazing, and she isn’t taking that from me. Our bodies just fit. We were perfect, she was amazing, and man, she is so beautiful. Her face is rosy, her hair is falling from her ponytail in a very messy way that brings out her eyes. Her body is splotchy from her arousal, and her lipstick is practically gone. She looks every bit a girl who has been done right, and I won’t allow her to ruin that.
But I’ll let her run. She has to think this through. I get that. She’s a thinker and a planner, and everything has to be in line for her or she freaks. She has to realize she wants me, and that’s fine. I’ll give her the space she needs, but nothing says I have to like it. I’ve never in my twenty years had this problem. Girls love me. I’m funny, I’m hot, and I’m very charming. I’m also very hard to resist. But this girl, man, she is fighting me tooth and fucking nail!
Damn it.
Pulling out of her hot center, I press my lips to
hers, enjoying the taste of her since I’m not sure when I’ll get to do this again. She tastes like strawberry bubble gum, and I didn’t realize how much I craved it until this moment. She feels so good in my arms, and I really don’t want to let her go, but I know I have to or she’ll stab me.
As I part from her, she looks up at me shyly and smiles. “I don’t really cuddle.”
I roll my eyes. “Sure, you don’t.”
Placing her feet on the ground, she brings her hands up to cover herself as she reaches for her shorts and T-shirt. We dress in silence, but I can hear her thinking of what she is going to say to me. It’s kind of funny, seeing her shyly bite into her lip as her hands shake while she puts her shirt on, trying to avoid all eye contact. I don’t know why she is doing this. I’m the easiest dude to talk to, or at least I think I am. Still, she cracks me up with her uneasiness. She’s usually so confident, but with me, she turns into the girl she really is. It’s refreshing, and I have to say, I love this side of her.
When I look down to see everything of mine on the floor, I scoff before bending down to pick it all up.
“Who’s that?” she asks when I reach for the picture of my niece.
Looking up at her, even though she won’t meet my gaze, I say, “My niece, Angie.”
“She’s adorable.”
“Yeah, she’s something special. I love her to pieces,” I say as I tuck her picture in my wallet. “She says my name all kinds of jacked up, it’s Ayden, but Jayden. It’s cute.”
“That is cute,” she says softly. “It must be nice to have such a big family.”
I shrug, tucking my money into its slot. Man, I was in a hurry to get that condom. “Yeah, it’s hard sometimes, though. Lots of people to worry about.”
“You look out for everyone, don’t you?” she asks with a grin.
Meeting her gaze, I nod. “Yeah, especially the ones I love.”
She looks away almost immediately, and I can only shake my head. If she’d just look into my eyes, she’d see how much she means to me. But maybe that’s why. Maybe she knows and that’s why she is freaking out right now. She doesn’t know how to handle someone caring for her other than her dad, and I get that. She’s not the easiest person to get along with, but I…I can… And I want to be there for her.
She doesn’t say anything as I stand, sliding my wallet into my pocket.
“So,” I say softly. “That was something, eh?”
She nods slowly, sucking in a breath. “Something is right. Surprised you were able to do all that after the laps you did.”
“Nothing could hold me back from you as soon as you gave in,” I say then, and her face deepens with color.
“I didn’t give in.”
I laugh. “Never admit defeat, huh?”
Looking up at me, she smiles. “Never, especially to you.”
I shrug. “After that, I’d say we both won.”
Looking away, her grin is still on her lips, and I wish she’d just look at me. Clearing her throat, she says, “So yeah, we’re good, then?” Looking up at me, she nods and says, “I feel the tension is gone.”
I scoff. “You think so?”
She bites the inside of her cheek and nods. She’s not only lying to me but to herself too. The tension may be gone, but the need is still there. Screaming at us to go at it again, and while I’m down for round two, three, four, five, and even one hundred, I can tell she isn’t. She doesn’t know how to handle what she is feeling, and that upsets me. Why doesn’t she just let go? Why can’t she just trust me?
Unable to hold it in, I ask, “Why are you holding back?”
She looks up at me, confused. “What do you mean?”
“Why are you fighting this?” I say, moving my hand between us. “You feel what I feel, right?”
Holding my gaze, she sucks in deep breaths, letting them out in a whoosh. “It doesn’t matter what I feel, because this,” she says, mocking my hand movements, “can’t happen.”
“Even though it would be good?” I ask, and she shakes her head.
“You don’t know that, and I’m not willing to try. I don’t have time for it; I don’t have it in me. So please, let this go. It happened, we are good, and we can move on.”
I shake my head, unable to understand this. “I can’t move on from this. Not when I still want you.”
“Well, you’re gonna have to ’cause you can’t have me. My dad would flip, my career would suffer because… No, I can’t.”
No, she was gonna say something else, I just know it. So I ask, “Because why?”
She looks away and shakes her head. “Because I can’t. Just leave it be, Jayden, please.”
As I bring her back to look at me, she stares up at me defiantly. I can tell she wants to move her face out of my grip, but I won’t let her. “Do you really want that?”
“It doesn’t matter what I want, Jayden. Don’t you understand that?” she asks, her eyes holding mine. “I have one mission in life, and that’s to get into the league. If I allow you in, if I allow myself to be with you—if that’s even what you want—don’t you understand that it could ruin me when it ends?”
“Who says it will end?”
Her eyes go wide as she shakes her head. “So you do want that? What do you want, me as a girlfriend? Do I look like girlfriend material?” she asks incredulously. “I get it, you’re attracted to me, you like my drive, and you like having sex with me, but I’m not what you think I am. You don’t want me.”
I shake my head. “Whoa, you are giving me whiplash. First it’s that it’s gonna end, and now it’s that you’re not girlfriend material?”
“Yes!” she yells. “I’m twenty fucking kinds of crazy. I’m mental even, and I don’t understand why you even want to be around me.”
“Because I like you! And I think you need to shut up and let me decide what I want. I’m perfectly capable of making a decision for myself,” I snap back, completely frustrated with her.
“No, because if I do, and I let this go on, when you decide I’m not, I’ll be left to figure it out afterward.”
“Baylor, it doesn’t have to be like that,” I say softly, trying to breathe but having a hard time. “Give me a chance.”
“No, I gave a guy a chance before after he promised me that he was a good bet, and it blew up in my face.”
“Don’t make me pay for his mistakes. I’m not him, and you know that,” I say, but she’s already shaking her head. Letting out a breath, I look away. She isn’t going to make this easy for me, and I knew that from the beginning. But when I had her against that wall, I thought maybe I had gotten in. I thought maybe she realized that I was different. That she was different and we were good for each other.
Obviously, I was wrong.
“Fine, Baylor. Walk away.”
But she doesn’t move as the air crackles around us. My heart is hammering, and I’m two seconds away from begging this girl for a chance. I didn’t realize how deep I was until she told me I couldn’t have her. Looking back at her, I can see the struggle in her eyes. She wants to leave, but then she doesn’t.
“Can we never speak of this again?”
Or I’m reading this all wrong, and I’m a complete and utter idiot.
Letting out a breath of defeat, I nod. “No one will ever know.”
“Good,” she says softly. “It really was great. Like the best ever.”
Looking back at her, I scoff. “Then why are you letting it go?”
“Because I have to.”
She then turns and opens the door before disappearing out of it. No sorry, no thank you for rocking her world, nothing. Just silence. True Baylor fucking form. Falling onto the bottom step, I suck in a deep breath and shake my head. That girl is gonna kill me. Honestly, I’ve never worked so hard in my life for a girl. Getting her to realize that what we have is really good is gonna be the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it will be the greatest victory of my life.
And I sure do love winning.
Just keep walking. Don’t look back. Hold it together. Don’t you dare cry. You’re doing the right thing.
As I basically run from the rink to my dad’s house, I keep chanting those exact five sentences. This isn’t the first time I’ve done this. I’ve had to repeat those sentences a lot in my life, but for once, trying to say each one is very overwhelming.
Just keep walking. Don’t look back. Hold it together. Don’t you dare cry. You’re doing the right thing.
But it doesn’t help.
I look back, hoping he is chasing me. Tears are filling my eyes so quickly that if I blink they’ll splash everywhere. And this doing the right thing shit? Eh, I’m not one hundred percent sure on that one. While, yes, I don’t have time for what could happen between me and Jayden, it doesn’t mean I don’t want it. But it’s not controllable. I have no control over what could happen. When I let go, when I let my feelings do what they want, most the time I get in trouble. And I don’t…I can’t do that again.
But I can still feel him against me. I can still see his pleading green eyes, and my God, his scent is all over me.
I was supposed to walk away from that unscathed, happy even that we got rid of the sexual tension, but all I feel is fucking empty. Hollow. He was supposed to fill that void and he did, until I walked away. But I’m doing the right thing; I have to be.
I miss him. But would it even work between us? We are two totally different people on the same road that will more than likely keep us apart. Yeah, we both will, pray God, go into the league, but what if one of us was left behind? Could we handle it? I mean, he probably could because he’s just fucking amazing, but I’m a selfish, controlling, heart-set-on-winning bitch. A dumb-ass, driven brat who always gets what she wants, and now that I’m not, I’m being a baby.
I know my faults. I’ll be the first to let them be known, but what I don’t understand is how he still likes them, or even more, how he basically knows me.
He was completely right. I was mad at first that I fucked up and didn’t make it. I mean, I needed that spot and I’m scared that my dad is disgusted with me. But then it turned into how happy I was for him because he deserved it. He’s worked so hard, has the respect of everyone, and he is the best guy for the job. I know this. But then two seconds later, I am just freaking mad. Mad at me, mad at my dad, and most of all, mad at him. Maybe I did myself a favor. Yeah, the girlie part of me is broken over it, but the smart part of me knows he’ll be nothing but a distraction and I can’t afford that right now.
