The Rebel

by Jennifer Bernard

  “Who?” Gracie slid onto the stool next to Kai and leaned her head on his shoulder with a yawn. “Why are dates so exhausting?”

  “Because romance is dead,” said Kai gloomily. “If it ever existed.”

  “Gracie, what do you think? You’ve known Nicole the longest. Would she disappear without saying goodbye?”

  “Of course not. She would at the very least say goodbye to me. She still has one of my sketchbooks. That’s a sacred trust, everyone knows that.” She tilted her head up to look at Kai. “Did you make her mad again? I hate to say this, but you have a way of making people mad even if you didn’t intend to.”

  An uneasy thought occurred to Kai. “How many times has Nicole driven the mountain road?”

  “She runs errands for Max all the time,” said Gracie, a worried frown pulling her eyebrows together. “Why?”

  “What about at night? She never goes out at night, does she?”

  “She doesn’t come here, I can tell you that. And this is the best pub in town,” Jake added modestly.

  “Why are you asking all this?” Gracie asked.

  Suddenly it all went terribly clear, like the lights coming on at closing time. “I have to go.”

  His siblings followed him out the door, Jake leaving a mess behind—something he never did. Jake insisted on driving his rig, which had more powerful headlights than Kai’s truck, as well as a tow hitch, chains and other tools that might be handy. As a volunteer firefighter, he had all the necessary gear.

  Gracie slid into the backseat. “Remember how Mom used to call me ‘bright eyes’ because I was the best at finding lost things? You need me.”

  Kai didn’t bother to say he didn’t need them. Having taken part in hundreds of rescues, he knew how much teamwork helped. Usually the teams consisted of other trained paramedics or firefighters, but Jake was solid and he knew better than to count Gracie out. She had skills that could surprise you.

  They drove up the Rocky Peak road in a silence so complete they could hear the freezing mist needling the truck. Such a dark night—why had he allowed Nicole to drive in? Why had he come down so hard on her? Why hadn’t he simply driven home and confronted her there? He’d driven that road a million times, sometimes more buzzed than was smart. But he knew the road, every curve, every tree. Nicole didn’t. And it was dark. And she was probably upset.

  Unless she wasn’t, and she actually had skipped town without telling anyone. In which case he was dragging his brother and sister up the mountain on a wild goose chase.

  “Mom wanted to leave Dad,” he said abruptly as they rolled up the dark road. “I was trying to stop her the night she died.”

  Jake glanced at him only briefly, then went back to scanning the woods for signs of a car. “She left him once before. Remember when she went to her ‘high school reunion?’ Yeah. Not a reunion.”

  “What?”

  “Izzy and I figured it out. We played detective and called the hotel where it was being held and they said there was no reunion going on.”

  Kai drew in a deep breath. “Holy shit. So you knew they had problems?”

  “Yeah. But we didn’t tell anyone because she came back. I guess things got rough again. Sorry, man. That sucks that you were in the middle of it that night.”

  From the back seat, Gracie put her hand on his shoulder. “Geez. Poor Mom. Poor Dad. Poor Kai. Why didn’t you ever tell us?”

  “What was the point? She was dead. I wanted you all to have happy memories of Mom. She was—” He broke off. “She was Mom. Always ready to laugh, always up for something fun.”

  “Of course she was Mom! This doesn’t change anything,” Gracie cried. Something in Kai’s chest loosened, a tight band of worry that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He’d loved his mother so much, and didn’t want anyone thinking badly of her.

  “Did Dad know?” Jake asked as he peered at the dark road ahead.

  “He did. He was afraid it was even worse, maybe suicide.”

  “Jeepers.” Gracie went quiet.

  “I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you even now.” Kai dragged a hand through his hair.

  “No, man. She’s our mother too. You don’t have to protect us,” said Jake softly. “I’m not even surprised, like I said. They were so different, like…earth and air.”

  “I totally agree.” Gracie rested her hand on his shoulder again with a gentle touch. “I want to know everything about her, even the sad stuff. Sometimes she doesn’t seem real in my mind. Like a forest fairy. Do you know I used to build fairy houses in the woods hoping she’d come to visit?”

  Her wistful tone made Kai’s throat close up. At least he had sixteen years’ worth of memories of his mother. All kinds of memories—enough to know she was a real person, flaws and all.

  He stared out the window, seeing silent trees standing guard along the road, but no little red Jetta.

  “She told me she would have left years ago if not for us. Especially you, Gracie, because you were so young. I kept saying that you needed her, that we all did, but she didn’t want to hear that. I tried everything I could think of to make her stay, but none of it worked. Maybe if you’d been there, Jake. You always know what to say to people.”

  “Fuck that, Kai.” Jake’s forceful tone felt like a slap on the jaw. “Stop blaming yourself. Mom wanted to leave. That’s not your fault.”

  “You definitely shouldn’t blame yourself,” said Gracie softly. “Mom wouldn’t want that, would she?”

  “I shouldn’t have argued with her. I got her even more upset. And then she lost control—”

  “Kai. It wasn’t your fucking fault.” Kai and Gracie both startled. Jake was usually so soft-spoken, so easygoing. Hearing him swear was a shock.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Remember how I told you me and Izzy liked to play detective? We did it after the accident too, after Dad kicked you out. We remembered how you said you saw someone in the road. Well, we found out there was a crew of frat boys staying at the Majestic playing this fucked-up game where they stepped into the road to scare drivers.”

  “What?”

  “It was some kind of initiation rite for their fraternity. The police never arrested anyone, but they got reports about it. It’s not really proof of anything, but it’s a theory.”

  Rage seared through Kai, and suddenly everything outside the car window looked red, even the frozen mist. “Fuckers,” he ground out. “Mom died because of some stupid game?”

  “Maybe. I don’t know. I’m just saying, stop blaming yourself…”

  Jake’s voice faded away as those last moments in the car with Mom came back to him in a rush.

  Tears on her cheeks, hands clenched around the steering wheel.

  “Do you know why I’m not worried about you kids? Because you love each other. You look out for each other. And that, Kai, that is my greatest legacy.” And then, “Who is that?”

  And then the world spun and the trees came at them like an avenging army.

  Back to here and now. Trees. Red. He’d seen red.

  “Stop the truck, Jake. Now!”

  Jake screeched his truck to a halt and Kai jumped out to the scent of rubber burning on the asphalt. He sprinted back down the road, the surface slick under his boots. Even with his thick treads, he nearly skidded a few times. Nicole had no experience driving in these kinds of conditions. She should never have been on the road. He should have—

  Stop blaming yourself.

  The words came crystal clear into his head, but not spoken in Jake’s voice, the way they had been a few moments ago. They were spoken in Mom’s voice.

  Gracie was right. Mom would never want him to torment himself the way he had been. She would want him to have a life—a good life. A life he could be happy with, the way she struggled to do.

  Red. Right there, in the gully past the shoulder. He ran that direction, playing his flashlight over the trees and moss-covered stumps and rocks. Yes, there it was. A re
d car. Nicole’s Jetta, on its side, wedged between two tall spruce trees that seemed to be holding it tight, keeping it from harm.

  “Found her!” he called back to Jake and Gracie. Jake was slowly backing his rig down the road. Kai saw his own footsteps in the thickening layer of sleet, but no tire tracks. They’d already been completely covered. If he hadn’t spotted that flash of red…

  No time to think about that. He switched into rescue mode—calm, controlled, logical.

  With the flashlight gripped between his teeth, he thrashed his way through the underbrush, cutting a path to the downward side of the Jetta. Until he knew how unstable its position was, he didn’t want anyone else coming close.

  Headlights slashed through the darkness. Jake—parking the truck so he could light up the area.

  “Stay back for now,” he called to Jake and Gracie, who were getting out of the truck. “Let me check it out first. But go ahead and call the fire department.”

  Holding his breath, heart racing, he peered into the Jetta. Of all the rescues he’d performed, none had involved someone he loved. He had to stay focused. Take note of the details of the situation. Assess her condition as if he weren’t dying inside at the thought of her being hurt.

  Still strapped into the driver’s seat, she sat slumped on her side. Eyes closed—that wasn’t good. Getting knocked unconscious could mean brain damage, concussion, bleeding…

  Stop that. He played the flashlight over the interior, saw broken glass, the contents of Nicole’s purse spilled everywhere. Check the gas line. If the tank or the fuel line had been damaged, the car could explode. He ran around to the undercarriage and searched for signs of moisture leaking. Sniffed for gas. Maybe smelled some, maybe didn’t. Hard to tell. If there was a leak, it was small, but any leak could spell danger.

  He had to get Nicole out of there. Now.

  28

  A voice was calling her name in the darkness. A voice she loved, even though she couldn’t pin down who it belonged to, or even what it was saying. She didn’t recognize the name it was calling, but she knew it was hers.

  And she knew she wanted to follow that voice.

  It was warm and male, filled with worry, resonant with hope, vibrant with urgency.

  “Nicole. Can you hear me?”

  Everything snapped into focus. The voice belonged to Kai. She was in her car, which she’d driven off the road. And she hurt.

  “Kai,” she said weakly. “Hey you.”

  “Hey yourself.” His voice softened. “We need to get you out of here. Can you move your fingers and toes?”

  She frowned. “What does that matter?” Everything was so strange. Her head was sideways, or tilted or something. It was so confusing. She could hear Kai but couldn’t tell where he was. A light kept shining in her eyes.

  “Just humor me. Try.”

  She wiggled her toes, feeling them brush against the inside of her shoes. Then her fingers. The knuckles of her right hand felt as if she’d tried to punch out a brick wall. “Hurts, but they wiggle.”

  “Good.” She heard relief in his voice, and realized things must be really bad. Ridiculous that it took so long to understand that. Her brain was moving so sluggishly. One minute she’d been rehearsing what she wanted to say to Kai, the next she’d been swerving and sliding and…

  She started to cry. “I’m sorry, Kai. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I just wanted to take care of Birdie.”

  “Shhhh. We’ll talk about that later, love. Can you unbuckle your seat belt?”

  He’d called her “love.”

  “You called me ‘love.’”

  “That’s right. You heard me. Did you also hear the part about unbuckling your seat belt?”

  “Oh. Right.” With her right hand, she reached for the latch. Her left arm seemed to be pinned beneath her. The buckle sprang open easily, which made her feel much better. Powerful. “Got it.”

  “Okay good. Now I want you to cover your face with your arm. I have to finish breaking this windshield, though you already made a good start of that. It’s tempered glass, so it shouldn’t shatter. But just in case, keep your face completely covered. Got it, love?”

  “You said it again,” she said from behind the crook of her elbow.

  “Keep covered.” In the darkness, she heard a series of weird sounds—glass breaking, a thud, a curse. A blast of chilly air rushed into the car.

  Then Kai was back. “Okay, I got an escape route for you. I just need you to lean toward me and I’ll do the rest.”

  She leaned forward, toward Kai, toward that voice that she loved with all her heart. His hands came through the window, along with part of his torso, squeezing past the metal frame and shards of glass. And then his hands were under her arms. With a strength that took her breath away, he lifted her free.

  After that, everything became a jumble of disconnected images, like a crazy film reel that had gotten scrambled up. One of her legs wasn’t working right and that scared the crap out of her. How was she going to survive? How was she going to take care of Birdie? Maybe the two of them would be in wheelchairs for the rest of their lives. That could be fun, like bumper cars ….

  Don’t laugh. It hurts. Hold on to Kai. Why is Kai here? Isn’t he mad?

  Jake and Gracie scrambled down the ravine to help Kai carry her up. Did they know how she’d betrayed them? She had to tell them, right now.

  “Something…tell you…”

  “Shhh.” Kai shushed her in a firm voice no sane rescue victim would disobey. “Save your energy.”

  “But—”

  “Just this once, sweetheart. Please.” Now his voice softened to a tenderness that no woman in love could deny. She fell quiet and let him take charge.

  She heard his labored breathing as he carried her through the underbrush. Jake and Gracie helped as much as they could by sweeping away all obstructions and supporting him up the steepest parts. All this effort—shouldn’t they know the truth?

  But it probably didn’t matter. Jake was a volunteer fireman and Gracie was such a kind soul. Birdie would love both of them…too bad she’d never get to meet them…

  She imagined Birdie pushing her in a wheelchair around the lodge, through the rose garden, down the trails. Cruising into the kitchen to steal a snack from Renata…scolding Max when he got too rude… Wait, that was backwards. She was the one who pushed Birdie, not the other way around…

  She snapped back to attention when they reached the road and found a group of firemen and two yellow fire engines with their lights flashing. “Is there a fire?” she asked, completely confused.

  “They’re here for you, honey,” Kai said in her ear. The rumble of his voice held amusement, but also worry. “You were in an accident, remember?”

  “I’ll take her,” said another firm voice. “She probably has a concussion.”

  “Her leg is bothering her too,” said Kai. “Possible fracture. Disoriented, confused, rapid pulse.”

  “We’ll airlift her to Regional.”

  Regional. That was a hospital. She’d heard people mention it. Everything was moving so fast, and no one was thinking about Birdie. And the pain was swamping her. It felt huge and relentless, like a dragon opening its vast jaws.

  She grabbed Kai’s arm. “Not Regional. Seattle. Birdie.”

  “What, sweetie?”

  Oh no! He hadn’t heard her, she had to try again. She opened her mouth but this time she couldn’t get any sound to come out at all. The dragon had arrived and was consuming her whole.

  When she woke up, Birdie was staring at her from her wheelchair like a cat waiting to pounce.

  “Nico!” She clapped her hands together when their eyes met. “You woke up!”

  “Birdie.” She feasted her eyes on her sister for a moment. Birdie liked to wear as many hair clips as possible; today about ten of them were scattered throughout her fine cornsilk hair. She wore her favorite sweatshirt—red with a cardinal perched on a baseball bat. She loved it for the
bird; the bat meant nothing to her.

  Nicole glanced around the unfamiliar hospital room. The usual monitors, antiseptic smell, and bland color palette. “How did you get here?”

  “Kai brought me,” she said proudly. “He asked if I wanted to, and I said yes.”

  She stared at her sister in astonishment. “Kai? Do you…how do you know Kai?”

  “He came to me, to my room. My own room. Lulu’s gone. She won’t talk to me.”

  “I’m sorry, sweetie.”

  Birdie shrugged cheerfully. “It’s okay. I saw a pigeon out the window.”

  “Wow, that’s so cool.” Gently, she steered the conversation back to Kai. “But what about Kai?”

  “Kai.” She lit up again. “He’s so nice. A lot nicer than stupid Roger. He said you got in a car accident. He got spe-special permission for me to come here. We got in a car and drove all the way here.”

  Her brain was still operating at maybe half its usual speed, but still, it raced to the obvious conclusion. “Is Kai here?”

  “No. He went home.”

  The disappointment felt like a punch in the stomach. “Where are we, Birdie? Is this Seattle?”

  Birdie’s feather-light eyebrows drew together. “I love Seattle.”

  “I know you do.” Nicole smiled tenderly at her sister. “I’m really happy you came here to see me.”

  “Kai says I can see where he lives sometime.”

  “Really?” Nicole’s heart lifted again. Did that mean she and Kai might see each other again? Was that possible?

  “Oh, whoops. Here.” Birdie reached into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out an envelope. “It’s from Kai. He trusted me to remember and I did,” she said proudly.

  “That’s really great.” Wincing, Nicole leaned forward to take the envelope from her. It had her name written on the front in Kai’s bold swooping handwriting. “I’ll read it later.”

  Just in case it made her cry.

  She tucked it under her pillow. “If Kai left, who’s going to take you home, Birdie?”

  “That would be me.” Felicity strolled into the room, dark sunglasses on top of her head, cup of coffee in hand.