Daughters of Delirium (Tainted Queens Book 1)

by A. M. Miller

  “Then I’m assuming you’ve sent your ship man out to the Esha sea to collect a substantial amount of purple algae, as it will be rather hard to produce that much wine within the time constraint if you have not.” The Red Queen leaned back against the sofa eyeing Lu.

  “Yes, well, perhaps not wine.”

  “These are decisions that cannot be put off.”

  Lu sighed. “Forgive me, I misspoke about the wine, but there are other things the Heart has to offer. I’m sure a suitable offering will be found. As of now, we’re still looking into the problems with the red roses. I know I haven’t been as available as you’d like, but I assure you this matter takes presidents over all others. “ Lu stepped back behind the curtain. She longed to be back in her own clothing.

  “I forget you are still new to this. Wouldn’t want to put too much on you by asking you to focus on multiple things. I suppose this is for the best. I took over the design for your dress and look how well it turned out. We both know the Heart isn’t exactly known for its fashion sense,” The Red Queen said from the other side of the curtain.

  Lu stepped out, now dressed in her royal garbs. “No, we’re just known as the realm's finest warriors. The only thing protecting the united queenslands from complete collapse. Which reminds me, Ramor told me you had the guards sent ahead of you back to your queensland. How are they fairing? Does everyone sleep soundly knowing they have the extra protection or do they just complain when the capes are dusty?”

  The Red Queen narrowed her eyes. “Their performance has been acceptable so far. Our boys are grateful to be back home amongst civil society.”

  I’ll show you civil. Lu held her breath trying to quiet the rage growing inside of her. How easy was it for the Reds to judge them from the comfort of their northern homes. The only thing the Red Queen had to worry about on her wedding night was the decoration of dresses and quality of wine.

  “Luckily, there haven’t been any attempts on our gardens. Have you discovered anything new about this red paint?” The Red Queen asked.

  Lu exhaled. “No, but we’re still looking.”

  Leo had spent the past few weeks locked inside his laboratory studying the roses. A week after Leo reported on the red rose another report came in. This time the report came from a western garden. The problem had been discovered before any civilians came in contact with it, but it had set everyone on high alert.

  Lu ordered the roses be cut down and burned. Leo had insisted on being allowed to collect samples. She’d agreed under the condition that he promised to act with extreme caution. The thought of having the toxin in her inner walls terrified her but she knew that he had to be allowed to study them. She prayed to the goddess for his safety.

  “I think that should be enough for today, your majesty. I have your measurements and if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get started on the final edits to the dress,” the tailor said.

  The two queens had almost forgotten she was there.

  “You’re dismissed,” The Red Queen said.

  The tailor turned to leave but stopped when The Red Queen called for her again. The tailor turned back towards them.

  The Red Queen smiled. “I trust that you will do everything in your power to make sure the dress is perfect. This wedding will be the first time the public will see the Red and Heart united. Any blemish made on that reputation would be seen as a personal attack on my queenland and myself.” The Red Queen’s murky gray eyes flicked toward Lu and then back at the tailor. “Do I make myself clear?”

  “Y-yes of course, my queen. I will deliver you perfection.” The tailor’s voice trembled with fear. She gave the two queens a quick bow before hurrying out of the room.

  “Well if we are done in here I have some business to attend to,” Lu said, preparing to leave. She didn’t want to spend another moment in the queen's company.

  “Don’t go. Sit. Have some tea.”

  Her words sounded more like a command than a request. Even without all her power, Lu was still queen and this was her queensland. Ordering her around like a servant was unacceptable.

  Lu turned back to The Red Queen. “I appreciate the offer but as I said-“

  “You have business to attend to.” The Red Queen rolled her eyes. “I heard you the first time you said it. I just wonder if this business is so important you can’t make time for tea. Soon you will take my son away from me to join your royal court. Are you really incapable of making time for a cup of tea with his mother?”

  Lu paused for a moment. She wanted to walk out of the room, but relationships between her and the prince were already frosty. After their last conversation about Lecive, Josivin had been distant. Lu needed to do her best to amend the relations between the Red and the Heart.

  Lu walked back over to the sofa and smiled. “One cup shouldn’t hurt.”

  “Lovely.”

  The Red Queen poured Lu a cup. Lu noticed for the first time that The Red Queen’s middle finger was missing a nail. She’d assumed the gold was painted on but up close she could see the metal was real.

  “Here.” The Red Queen held out the cup to Lu. Lu took the cup and sat down next to her on the plush sofa. She took a sip. The tea was from the Red Queensland. Sickeningly sweet, it left a sugary residue on her tongue. Red tea was very different from the spiced tea they brewed in the Heart. Lu suffered through another sip before setting the cup down.

  The Red Queen studied her over the rim of her own cup. After a moment, she too sat her cup down. She leaned over, raising her hand towards Lu’s face. Lu flinched back. She eyed the queen. Her movement had not been threatening but Lu still did not trust her.

  The Red Queen continued to reach forward, unconcerned with Lu’s reaction. She grabbed onto a piece of Lu’s hair that had come undone during her dressing. She pushed the hair back behind Lu’s ear, studying her face. After a moment The Red Queen drew back. Lu watched her, still confused by her actions.

  “You really are a young one,” The Red Queen said.

  Lu sat up straighter. “I am old enough.”

  The Red Queen laugh. “I was nearly twice your age when I assumed the throne and married my husband. Even I was not old enough then.”

  Lu said nothing. The sound of The Red Queen’s laughter surprised her.

  “Have you ever lain with a man?” The Red Queen asked.

  “Of course not.”

  The teachings of the goddess forbid extramarital affairs and the church had always been strict on the royal family. Lolakia had been an example to them all. Part of her trials of faith had been forgiving the man who defiled her and turning him into a king worthy of the goddess’s blessing.

  There was also the fear that mixing bloodline with someone the goddess hadn’t given her blessings to would taint the queen’s abilities. What the goddess gave could be just as easily taken away. To even imply that a queen was impure was dangerous.

  “No, I thought not. I also doubt your mother went into great detail what it means to lay with one before her death. You are, however, aware that it is expected of you, correct?”

  “Ensuring the continuation of the bloodline is the duty of any queen.” Lu was still not sure what point the queen was trying to make. Everyone knew one of the queen’s main duties was to give birth to the heir. Without a daughter to take her place, their connection to the goddess would be lost upon her death. No matter what, the queensland must live on.

  “Ah yes, the bloodline.” The Red Queen gave a small smile. “ It’s the very thing that binds us to the throne and will continue to do so. You will be expected to give birth soon after the wedding. My son will take you and hopefully put a girl inside of you, but if he does not, you will be expected to try again and again and again.”

  Lu shifted uncomfortably in her chair. She had heard horror stories about the birthing process. Mothers were ripped apart and died on the midwives table. She tried not to think about it. Even the idea of something growing inside of her seemed strange.

  “My mother
birth seven boys before the goddess saw fit to give her a daughter. You may think you know what it means to be a mother but you have no clue. They tell you that giving birth is just another duty of the queen, but it’s not. I could tell you what it’s like to hold new life in your hands. At first, you will try to distance yourself from it, which can only be expected. As queens, our lives are supposed to belong to the queenslands we serve. We stand at the edge of destruction. Love is nothing but a distraction from our true purpose.

  Knowing this will not stop you. Your heart will grow selfish. You will love the child. You will love it knowing that you will ultimately lose it. The girls will be bad. You are slowly coming to understand what it means to be queen. That it’s not all pretty dresses and sparkling crowns. You know of the sacrifices we have to make. Every time you look at her you will be reminded that she will one day fill your role. She will suffer and sacrifice just as you do, simply because she had the misfortune of having you for a mother. It will be hard but at least you will be prepared for it.”

  Lu thought of her mother and the way her eyes avoided contact. Before talking with Ramor she’d always assumed it was because of her appearances, but he said she was afraid. Lu wondered what her mother had seen when she looked at her.

  “The boys will be worse.” The Red Queen continued. “After a while, you start to think that maybe you will be able to hold onto them. You love them more freely because their fate is not decided the way hers will be. You start to envision a future for them. One that is happy and whole.” The Red Queen’s voice cracked, the look in her eyes becoming distant.

  She blinked, eyes refocusing. “This is what makes it hurt more.” The Red Queen turned back to Lu. “Their loss will come as a surprise. Your shield will be down and it will cut you like a knife.” The Red Queen’s last words carried an edge.

  Lu stared back at her. In that moment Lu saw her as more than The Red Queen. There was something broken inside her eyes. She hid wounds that would never heal. A woman behind the crown, buried deep under the jewels and the gown. Hidden, just as her mother had hidden her true self. The same way Lu was being forced to hide.

  Though not as tight as her wedding dress, Lu still felt the fabric pulling against her chest.

  The Red Queen looked away from Lu. “I already lost one son. First to the priesthood, then to the madness. Now I send another away, to a queensland nearest the darkest part of our world, engaged to a queen whose known womanhood for less than a year.” The Red Queen made a face of disgust.

  “Our engagement was orchestrated by you and my grandmother. These are the terms you agreed to for the treaty.” Lu would not be blamed for something she had no part in. She never asked to be Josivin’s bride.

  “I know the terms, child.” The Red Queen’s voice grew sour. It was that same tone of superiority that made Lu want to push her off a mountaintop.

  “If we did not come to terms my queensland would have still been at war. The White army matches mine in size. Any war between us would have lasted for generations. Countless lives had already been lost. The trade of the white rose had stopped and our reserves were gone. Your grandmother and The White Queen would have let thousands of my people die without lifting a finger. So I agreed. I gave up my unborn child to keep my people safe. To stop Red families from butchering each other in the streets. That is the sacrifice a queen must make. It is not just her life or her blood. It is everything she is.“

  Lu was at a loss for words. She felt the need to defend her grandmother but wasn’t sure how. Surely her grandmother hadn’t actually intended to leave all those people to suffer. This was an exaggeration on the Red Queen’s part. Even if they had threatened it, it had to be a bluff. Besides what did Reds expect from constantly getting into wars with others?

  The weight of the silence hung heavy in the air. The Red Queen picked up her tea and took a sip.

  “Of course I tell you this knowing you will not understand.” Her tone was once again indifferent. “You can’t understand. Not as you are now. But one day you will look back on my words and see the truth. Live long enough and you will see what this world makes of you. The real reason I’m telling you this is because I want you to know why I agreed to this marriage. The Heart protects the wall. You said so yourself that you are the realms greatest warriors. We send you boys and you make them men. It is because of this that I have given more than just wealth to ensure the success of your queensland. I took a gamble the day the treaty was signed, one that depends solely on you. Whether or not you are too young for the task will not matter. You are the only one capable of the position. If you fail, we die. Thousands of corpses…oceans of blood… all on your hands.”

  The queen put her cup back down and looked back at Lu. “Do you understand?”

  Lu hesitated a moment before nodding.

  “Then achieve the impossible. Become a queen capable of seeing us through. Destroy the girl.” The Red Queen reached out another hand to touch Lu’s face. She raised her chin and stared into her eyes. “You may pretend that she disappeared after the name was erased, but I can still see her in you. You must do it better than your mother, better than me. The girl is useless to us. Destroy her before she destroys our world.”

  I’m trying.

  Lu pulled away from her but said nothing. She understood even if she did not want to. Words were easier than actions. She’d been trying to hide herself away ever since she put on the crown, but it all felt like pretend.

  “Finish up your tea, Queen of Heart. There’s work to be done and I do believe you said you had some important business to attend to.”

  Lu looked at the cup of tea. She could not imagine swallowing down its sweetness now.

  The Red Queen stood, dusting off her skirts. “I myself have to go meet with the cooks now. I wish you well, Queen of Heart.” She turned and left the room.

  Lu sat still watching as she left. She remained sitting long after she was gone.

  48

  Raven raced over to her mother’s bedside. The straps that held Denise to the bed were locked tight. Raven stared down at her mother’s face. Her skin looked pale. Raven touched her cheek and felt damp sweat. She was cold as a winter storm.

  Denise moaned again. Her face twisted but her eyes remained closed.

  Raven brushed the sweat-drenched hairs away from her mother's face. She’d lost weight since her hospitalization. Raven could tell from the new hallows that appeared on her mother’s face. The dark circles under her eyes had become a predominant feature.

  “Mama,” Raven whispered. Tears slipped down her cheeks. She hated seeing her like this. “What have they done to you?”

  Nothing, that’s what. As far as Raven could tell she’d only gotten worse since being admitted. They were sucking the life out of her mother.

  “Don’t worry mama. You won’t be staying here much longer.”

  Raven, Lu’s voice called inside Raven’s head. Raven glanced around the room. A few rays of sun slipped in between the blinds offering a dim lighting. The room was a small perfectly rectangular box. Raven didn’t see the girl anywhere.

  “Where are you?” Raven asked.

  I seem to be struggling with my projection. Lu’s voice was a whisper. Raven noticed the way the volume of her voice constantly changed, going in and out. She was weaker than the last time they’d spoke.

  It doesn’t matter. You have to listen to me, Raven. This isn’t safe.

  Raven’s hands tightened around the bars of her mother’s bed. “You’re not going to stop me.”

  Don’t be stupid, Raven. You saw what you did to your friend and at least she had her sanity before you entered her mind. What do you think happens when you mess with someone like your mother? She’s been tormented for some time now. Do you honestly think you can handle what’s inside her mind?

  Honestly, the thought of what might be waiting for her inside her mother's mind terrified Raven. All she could think about was that day of the attack. Her mother’s weight crushed down
on her until she couldn’t breathe.

  ---

  “Stop,” Raven said with more force than she’d ever used on her mother before. Her mother froze, staring back at Raven with dark brown eyes. Blood squished between Raven’s fingers dripping onto the carpet. She held her mother’s wounded arm tight. The tears were wet against Raven’s cheek.

  Raven didn’t understand what was going on. Her thirteen year old mind too horrified to process the situation, but she knew she couldn’t let her mother continue to hurt herself.

  Denise snarled. She yanked back her arm, pulling Raven along with her.

  Raven refused to let go of her mother. They entered a tug-of-war, her mother yanking her from left to right. Blood dripped, smearing everywhere. Raven tried to hold on but she was no match. Her mother pushed back and Raven lost her balance. She fell to the ground, her head slamming against the floor. Stars exploded behind her eyelids.

  Her mother crawled on top of Raven. She sat on her chest, too heavy for the young girl to breathe. Her bloody hand pushed down on Raven’s face. Nails bit into Raven’s cheek as Denise dragged her hand downward.

  Raven screamed, her face on fire. “Mom,” she cried.

  “They’re coming.” Her mother laughed. “They’re coming for you, little bird.” Her nails raked along Raven’s jaw. Raven gripped onto her mother’s arm trying to push back but her hand slipped on the blood.

  “We’re all mad here, dear.”

  “Mom!”

  Raven squeezed her eyes shut blocking off the memory. It wasn’t her mother who attacked her. It was the illness. “She’s my mother. I have to save her.”

  You’re not ready for that. I told you that I was here for a reason. Your mother isn’t the only one who needs saving.

  “I don’t care about the rest of the world if I can’t save her.”

  You don’t? Lu’s voice sounded doubtful. Flashes of fires, death, and pain shot through Raven’s mind. So much death. Bodies piled on top of bodies reaching so high they blocked out the sun. The scent of their burning flesh filled Raven’s nostrils. She closed her eyes attempting to block out the images.