Always Series Box Set

by Becs, Lindsay

  I swallow and lick my lips in nerves. “It’s from my mom.”

  “Oh.”

  I sit up, pulling her with me, and reach over to the coffee table to get the envelope with my mom’s words inside that are addressed to the woman I love. I take a breath, but don’t release it as I hand it to her.

  “Before she died, my mom wrote letters to all of us. We each got a box. Travis had some hidden around the house, too.”

  “Ollie…” she starts but doesn’t say anything else as she holds the sealed envelope in her hands like I just handed her gold or a million dollars.

  “I couldn’t read them for a long time. They brought more pain than anything else. Then, the night I met you, I reread one of the only letters I’d opened. I had lost a patient that day and wasn’t in a good place. I didn’t read any other letters until after you and I had broken up that first time. I had gotten drunk, driven home, Tatum cussed me out and told me how much of a quote ‘fucking idiot’ I was and that I needed to get my shit together.” I take a breath and look at her before continuing and giving her more clarity of what happened before. “That’s when I took my leave of absence. That’s when I started to read more of my mom’s letters. She yells at me, loves me, gives me advice, and everything else, still from where she sits looking down. But this one is addressed to you.”

  “It says ‘To the Woman Who Has My Son’s Heart,’” she says, looking a little freaked out.

  “That’s you, Bex.”

  “Ollie, are you sure you want me to read this?”

  “It’s you. I knew it after that first night with you. You are what I need, what I want, what I see for my future. You have my heart. Not a piece of it, but the whole damn thing. I love you, Bexley Morgan.”

  She lets out a shaky breath and looks up at me with wide eyes full of truth. “I love you, too, Ollie. So much it scares me.”

  “Me too.”

  “I don’t know how I feel about reading this letter though.”

  “That’s alright. You don’t have to read it now, or even tomorrow; but I wanted to give it to you because it doesn’t seem right to leave it in this box when I know it belongs to you.”

  “OK.”

  “Want to go to bed?” I ask. She nods, still staring at the envelope. “Let’s go, sweetness. I want to hold you.” I guide her by the hand to our bed and hold her close to me, holding my heart in my arms.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Bexley

  Ollie and I finally have a day off together. It’s been weeks since our schedules have synced. We still work like a well-oiled machine together, leaving our sticky notes for each other at work or at home, passionate kisses in the doorway as we pass each other while working opposite schedules, sexy rendezvous around the hospital. I’m finding myself the happiest I’ve been in almost my whole life.

  Today we decided to stay in and just be together, enjoying each other’s company since it seems to be so foreign lately. But first, we’re streaming the race where Tatum is working. She’s been gone for a while working, and although I’ll never understand the longing to be a model of any kind, I’m happy to support her.

  “There she is!” Ollie yells, pointing to the TV. “Did you see her? It was quick, but the camera panned and I saw her.” His smile is big and broad and full of pride, and he’s never been sexier to me than right now. I smile back at him, leaning into him more as he excitedly scans the screen, looking for another glimpse of his sister.

  I sit up straighter when I see her then. “Holy hell! She looks hot!”

  “Hey! That’s my little sister. Watch your mouth, Leppy,” he warns me with a smirk.

  I hold my hands up in surrender. “My bad. She looks so sweet and innocent in her tight miniskirt, heeled booties, and belly shirt holding an umbrella over the head of the butt-ugly biker,” I scoff. “Gross.” I fake disgust.

  “Fuck. She does look hot,” he says, sounding defeated, looking back at the television.

  “She really does,” I agree as I wrap my arms around his and hug him tight for comfort. “But look at her face. She has that ‘don’t fuck with me’ look and is killing it.”

  He huffs a laugh and seems to relax again. “Yeah, she does. That’s our Tate.” And there’s his pride in her again.

  I love this side of Ollie. The side that loves his family and shows how much he cares about them. He truly would do anything for any of them without a second thought. He’s so selfless in that way. The world needs more people like him.

  We watch the rest of the race, and even though we don’t know the first thing about any of it, it’s entertaining to watch. The guy who Tatum was shading with her umbrella comes in third place, which means we see more of her afterwards.

  But then that same guy pulls her into a hug and we see her face go from stern to flushed on camera, and Ollie almost blows a gasket. He leaves her a voicemail that went something like, “Tatum! I was proud as fuck of you until I saw that cocksucker put his hands on you and saw how you responded. Watch it, little sister. But good job. Now you’re done. Get your ass home. Love you.” Yep. I can’t wait to see how this plays out after she listens to that lovely and endearing message.

  After I calm him down with a blowjob, we continue to enjoy our lazy day on the couch together. We just avoid talking about Tatum any more.

  “Tell me more about your dad. You never talk about him. Is he around?” I ask over a game of Sorry. We’ve dedicated this day to board games, junk food, and beer.

  “He’s around, unfortunately.”

  “I’ve never known who my dad is. It’s a totally strange concept to me. So, he’s a dick?”

  “Yes, to put it nicely.”

  “Was he around when you were growing up?”

  “He was around until he left my mom when I was fifteen. They had me when they were in high school. I think they were happy at some point, but then he started running around on my mom and they divorced. He was a bastard to her after that. I hated it and hated him for how he treated her. He never gave Tatum and me attention when we had our weekends with him. It was more of a way for him to stick it to my mom, I think. He never really cared or tried.”

  “But Tatum lives with him, right?”

  He nods slowly before answering. “I should have tried to get her here, but she didn’t want to leave school.” He pauses and sighs. “Guess in the end, it didn’t really matter. She dropped out and got her GED anyway.”

  “You’re there for her, and she knows it. That’s what matters, Ollie.”

  “I hope so. He had a fit when Trav married my mom. Well, to be fair, I kind of did, too, but he always hated Travis, so that was the worst thing to him. When Mom passed away, he didn’t want Travis around Tatum. Of course, Tate fought that.” He smiles with pride for her again. “She told good old dad she’d stop fighting and live with him as long as she could still see Travis and Penny when she wanted. He finally agreed but still made everything hard on her. Never giving a fuck.”

  “What about you? Do you talk to him at all?” I ask.

  “Not if I can help it. I talk to him when it concerns Tatum. That’s about it. Now that she’s eighteen, we can both bend over and let him kiss our asses. The day I left for college, I stopped trying with him, except for when it came to her. I’d do anything for my sisters.”

  “I know you would. I love that about you,” I smile at him, squeezing his hand.

  “Thanks.”

  “OK, so I’m not missing anything with not meeting your dad. Travis is more of a dad to you. Got it.”

  “Don’t!” He laughs, pointing at me. “I had to deal with that shit enough when he and my mom first got together.” He shakes his head as he continues to smile.

  “I can’t even imagine how that whole thing played out. Travis seems so lost, though. He must have really loved her.”

  He nods his head with his brows furrowed. “He did. They loved each other more than I’ve ever seen two people love. It was weird and messed up, but also kinda beautiful.” He
sits with his mind swirling, and I know I’ve pushed him to dive into the parts he tries not to think about. I feel bad for it, but I’m also glad he let me further into his past. He never talks about any of it. “Did you read her letter yet?” he asks me after minutes of silence as he picks up the next card on the deck for his turn.

  “No. Not yet.”

  “Are you scared?” he asks with a grin as he moves his pawn on the board.

  “Honestly? Yes.”

  “Why are you scared, sweetness? Afraid you won’t measure up?”

  “Well, yeah! Everything anyone says about her makes her sound like a saint. You have her on this pedestal that I don’t think I’ll ever come close to, and rightfully so, but it’s still intimidating.”

  “She’d love you, Bex.” He looks at me with earnest eyes. “I know with complete certainty that that letter is meant for you and that whatever is written in it is filled with nothing but the same kind of love she always showed to me and everyone else. My mom wasn’t perfect; none of us are—although I’m close.” He gives me a wink. “She was just the type of person to give you her full attention, have fun in life, and not take a second for granted. She was the perfect example of what we should all strive to be. It’s what I see in you, too. It’s how I know she’d love you as much as I do. Wait. That’s a lie. No one can possibly love you as much as I do,” he says with a smile.

  “Man, it’s still a lot to live up to. I didn’t exactly have the same type of woman raising me.”

  “Marla loves you in her own way.”

  I snort at his comment. “Maybe in the way that I was her errand girl to get her booze,” I say as I move one of my pawns into home.

  “Bex, I know I don’t understand or know how your childhood was, but I think you should talk to her more. Try to move forward.”

  I let out a sigh, scrubbing my hands down my face. “Ollie…” I sigh. “My childhood wasn’t anything like yours. My mom was never… good.” I pause, not wanting to say anything more, but I continue. “I was around Penny’s age, maybe a little bit older, when I first realized that I wasn’t like everyone else. I was made fun of for smelling bad—most likely cigarettes—and for my old, holey, and mismatched clothes. My mom didn’t send in class treats. Hell, she hardly ever remembered to pick me up from school. I learned how to fend off her dealers and boyfriends by the time I was ten. I mean, seriously, Ollie, it’s a miracle I was never molested or raped growing up. What kind of mom puts her child in that environment on purpose? Marla. That’s who.

  “Look, I’m happy she’s doing better. I’m glad she doesn’t seem to give in to her addictions as much now. I’m glad that she even went to the doctor to get checked out. I just don’t know if I’m ready to talk to her and forgive her. There’s an entire lifetime of scars and trauma she inflicted. That shit doesn’t go away over night or even in twenty-five years. I can’t tell you that I’ll ever be ready to try with her again. I’m sorry.” I take a minute to settle down from ranting. “Let’s go back to talking about your perfect mom.”

  “I’ll drop it. For now. But please don’t be afraid to read my mom’s letter. Or to talk to yours before you can’t ever again. That’s all I’m saying, sweetness.” I look up and meet his eyes that swim with sadness. Nodding at him, I look down just in time to see him knock my pawn off the board. “Sorry!” he says with a chuckle.

  “Damn you, Dr. Duncan! You distracted me with feelings, and now you’re going to win. That’s cheating!”

  “Yep!” He laughs some more.

  “You are a terrible human being.”

  “Right again.”

  “But it also makes me love you a little more. I feel conflicted in my feelings right now.”

  “Wanna fuck it out?”

  I burst out a laugh because he asked with complete concern. “Sure, why not?” I say with raised hands, letting them fall and hit my sides.

  His arm swoops over the board, sending all the pieces and cards flying across the room, and then he’s on me.

  And just like that, Sorry became my favorite game to play.

  * * *

  I wake up early out of habit and can’t fall back to sleep. Sliding out of bed, I try not to wake Ollie. I make a cup of coffee, wrap myself in a blanket and then I open the drawer that holds the letter from his mom. To the Woman Who Has My Son’s Heart is written on the white envelope. I read those eight words over and over as I sip my coffee, my heart beating nervously in my chest.

  Setting down my mug, I carefully tear it open and pull out the handwritten letter inside. I let out a calming breath as I unfold the paper, my eyes going to the date on the top. It was written almost three years ago. “I can do this,” I whisper to myself as I begin to read.

  To the woman who has my son’s heart,

  Oh, how my heart bursts with joy at the thought of you.

  But it also makes me sad that I can’t hug you right now.

  And slightly mad that he now has another woman in his life he loves more than me.

  My Ollie, my only son, is so special to me. My brilliant boy who carries the world on his shoulders and a smile on his face to mask all the turmoil that runs through his mind. He’s been labeled as many things through his life, but there has only ever been one that was truly him. Let’s say it out loud at the same time and see if we match.

  Ready?

  1…

  2…

  3…

  “Selfless,” I whisper with my eyes closed and then look to see how far off I was.

  Selfless.

  My beautiful boy is the most selfless being I’ve ever met. He’ll deny it until the day he dies, but he is. And if you see that too, then you know all there is to know about Ollie. At least all the things that really, truly matter.

  For you to know that, for him to let you in enough to see that, means you are so special. Ollie doesn’t love freely or easily, but once he lets you in, there’s no getting out. (I’m not sure why you’d want out, but still.) All I ask in return is that you love him back just as much. Take care of my baby boy. Be the one he can be his true self with. The one who he can lean on and go to when he feels like he’s failing. He’s so hard on himself, and I hope you are there to encourage him when he needs it.

  Now, on the opposite end, I also know what a pain in the butt he can be, as well. Don’t be afraid to kick his behind when he needs that too. (Or just tell Travis or Tatum, and I’m sure they’ll gladly help you.)

  Although I can’t see you, I know you must beautiful inside and out. I’m so happy Ollie has you in his life. Be good to my boy. Love each other faithfully, unconditionally, and so sweetly. Laugh with each other, hold each other, and never take a second for granted.

  I love both Ollie, and now you, sweetness, wholeheartedly.

  Josie

  Your mother-in-law who’s hugging you from heaven right now

  I hold the letter to my chest as tears fall freely down my face. “I want all those things,” I whisper to her in the silence of the loft. I can almost feel her arms around me, embracing me as a part of her son’s life. I miss her in this moment, a woman I’ve never met before, but feel like I know. To have a mother like that must have been so amazing, and to have the love of her son makes me the luckiest girl in the world.

  “Sweetness,” Ollie’s sleepy voice startles me, “why are you crying?”

  “I read her letter,” I sob with a smile through happy tears.

  He stops short for a second before he sits with me and pulls me into his lap. “Are you alright?”

  “Do you want to read it?” I ask him, ignoring his question.

  “I… I don’t know. Do I?”

  I cup his jaw in my hand and kiss his cheek. “You can if you want.”

  “I miss her so much, Bex. Reading her letters both hurts and soothes the pain all at the same time.”

  “Do you want me to tell you what it says in my own words?”

  He nods, and I watch him swallow down his emotions.

  “Sh
e wrote about how special you are,” I pause and he smiles. “She said that you were labeled as a lot of things but only one was true, and if we matched, then I was the one you let in.”

  “What was it? Did you…” He trails off, I’m sure both curious and nervous of the answer.

  “We both said selfless.” I smile at him, looking straight into his blue eyes, that I’m told are like his mother’s.

  “I want to read it now. Is that OK?” he asks, licking his lips.

  I hand him the letter and watch him read his mother’s words to me, the varying emotions playing over his face as he reads. Then he puts the paper down and looks at me. “She called you sweetness.” I smile and nod as another tear falls down my cheek. “Bex, she knew you before I did.” He rests his head on my shoulder, and we sit in each other’s arms as the sun rises around us.

  “Marry me.” I feel the words skate across the bare skin of my shoulder and shoot straight to my heart.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Ollie

  Holy. Shit.

  I just asked Bex to marry me, and I have nothing to give her. I didn’t think this through. I didn’t plan it. Hell, I hadn’t really thought about it at all until the words came out of my mouth. What is wrong with me that I keep doing that?

  My heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest, it’s pounding so hard. My palms are beginning to sweat, and soon it’ll be dripping down my face if she doesn’t put me out of my misery and give me an answer. It’ll gut me if she says no, yet if she says yes, I think I’ll be just as nervous. This is huge, and I’m cocking it up with my impulsive mouth. Again.

  What is it about her that makes me blurt out these life-changing decisions without thinking them through first? Oh, that’s right, she’s Bexley Morgan, the most amazing woman that’s ever graced the earth, and she seems to like me for whatever fucked-up reason. So, I’ll just keep spewing things from my mouth that I have no business doing and pray that she still wants me around.