Love in a Small Town Box Set 1

by Tawdra Kandle

  “Would you shut up? We’re family, Rilla. We might not be blood, but it’s true all the same.” She pulled me into a tight hug and slung her arm around me. “Come on inside.” She slammed the car door and glanced at it curiously. “Where’d you get the wheels?”

  “Oh, it’s a loaner from my uncle Boomer.”

  “Huh.” Meghan patted the roof of the old Chevette. “Imagine that. I have a little history with this car myself. Some time I’ll tell you that story.” She steered me into the house, and we sat down at her kitchen table. It was hard to believe that just that afternoon, we’d sat here with Ali, and I’d let myself feel hope.

  “Do you want to talk?”

  I shrugged. “It’s nothing new. I just saw it with clearer eyes tonight.” I ran my tongue over my lips. “I think I’ve been lying to myself. I thought Mason loved me. Even though he didn’t say it, I thought ... and after he told me last night, when he said he could never love me like he loved Lu, I was devastated. But then I listened to you and Ali, and I thought I could wait. I could keep the faith.”

  “And what changed?”

  I’d already told Meghan about the accident. “He was so relieved about Piper. I saw it wash over him. But he didn’t touch me. Didn’t even really ask if I were okay. Just ... nothing. I realized Mason’s right. He can’t do it. And I can’t pretend that it’s okay.”

  “Oh, sweetie.” Meghan took my hand.

  “How could I have been so blind? So stupid? I married him, Meghan. I married him, and I pretended it was because of what people were saying about me, but it was because I loved him even then. And I thought I could make him love me, too. Even though he told me ...”

  My throat closed, and finally the tears I hadn’t been shedding overwhelmed me. I laid my head down on the table and cried, my shoulders shaking and my chest heaving.

  “Rilla, shhhh. It’s okay.” Meghan sounded on the verge of crying herself. “It’s going to work out. He’s being an idiotic jackass, but I’ve known my share of them. He has a good heart, and there is not the slightest doubt in my mind that he loves you.”

  I wiped at the wetness on my face. “He broke my heart, Meghan. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose Piper, but I can’t live there and make believe something that isn’t true. I can’t be with him when he doesn’t really love me.”

  She sighed. “Rilla, listen. It’s late. Why don’t you sleep on it before you make any decisions? And in the morning, let’s see how you feel about everything.”

  I doubted I’d ever be able to close my eyes, but once I was alone in Ali’s room in the dark, tears still pouring down my face, exhaustion overtook me and I fell into oblivion.

  The sun still rose the next day. Even though it felt like my world was ending, it turned out the earth would continue to spin.

  Meghan had to go to work, but she’d left coffee for me and a note telling me to make myself at home. I knew Sam was probably somewhere else on the farm. I sipped my coffee without tasting it and thought of Piper waking up without me. Of Mason having to juggle his mother’s care today, along with work hours. And I cried again.

  Something I’d said to Meghan last night echoed in my brain. I don’t want to lose Piper, but I can’t live there and make believe something that isn’t true. I remembered how often I’d wondered how my mother could’ve left me. If she loved me ... had it broken her heart to leave me behind? Had she cried as she drove away from the farm? And now I wondered if I were like her. I’d left Piper because of my own heartache. I was as selfish as my mother.

  With that condemnation ringing in my ears, I showered and changed in an old pair of jeans Ali had left. They were huge on me, but I rolled the waist and the legs, and I found a shirt that almost fit me. Picking up my purse, I got into the car and headed down the road, until I came to a familiar driveway. I avoided the potholes and stopped at the front of the house.

  Climbing the porch steps, I glanced around. Nothing had changed in the months I’d been gone. But then again, I wasn’t sure much had changed in the last fifty years, so it wasn’t surprising my departure wouldn’t affect the house.

  Before I could knock on the door, it opened. Gram stood behind the screen, looking at me with tear-filled eyes.

  “Rilla,” she breathed. “Thank you, Jesus.” She pushed open the screen door and pulled me into a tight hug, rocking back and forth a little.

  “Hi, Gram.” I spoke into her neck, my voice muffled.

  “Come in, come in, child. I’ll get you something to eat.”

  I hesitated. “Gram, can we sit on the porch? I’d rather not go inside. Not right now.”

  She narrowed her eyes, nodding. “Of course. Sit down.”

  I took the old wicker rocker, and Gram sat in the chair that always been hers. She leaned forward, looking me up and down as if she couldn’t get enough of me.

  “Gram, first of all, I want to say I’m sorry that I put you in the position of having to choose between my father and me. He’s your son, and I understand that you have to respect his wishes. I’m not sorry that I stood up for myself, or that I took the job. I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry Dad couldn’t trust that you and he’d raised me to have good judgment. I’m sorry that he felt he had to make me leave home. And I’ve missed you, Gram.”

  She sighed. “You have no idea how I’ve missed you. How many times I came close to just getting in the car and going to see you. But your father asked me not to. He said if you were going to come to repentance, we had to leave you strictly alone. I didn’t agree, but Rilla, I live with him. He is my son. I hoped that this would blow over, or be resolved. But I know now that it’s going to take an act of God to change him.”

  “Gram, I didn’t come out here to blame you for anything or to dredge up old arguments. I wanted to talk to you about my mother.”

  She frowned. “Your mother? Why?”

  I didn’t want to tell my grandmother everything that was going on between Mason and me. I hadn’t confided in her for a long time now, and it was going to take time to renew that trust. I spoke carefully, around the truth.

  “I have ... well, I’m helping to raise Mason’s daughter Piper. She’s my step-daughter. I love her so much, Gram. You’d adore her. But I worry ... what if I’m too much like my mother? What if I don’t know how to be a mother, since I never had one?”

  “Oh, Rilla. Honey, you couldn’t be more unlike your mother if you tried.”

  I bit my thumb. “I’ve gotten to know her family since I’ve been living in town. All that time, Gram, and you didn’t tell me that I had an uncle and aunts, and cousins. Two more grandparents for part of my life. And I never knew.”

  “Your father didn’t want you to have anything to do with them. He was afraid they’d spoil you, like they did Joely.”

  I nodded. “Boomer told me that. But he couldn’t really tell me why my mother left. You lived here with her and my dad. Why did she leave him? Why did she leave me?”

  Gram cast her eyes up. “It was so long ago, Rilla. And she was young. Too young. I told your father to wait. I said they should date a while longer before they got married. But they were both bent on doing it, no matter what anyone said. And then I told them to be careful and wait on having children. Joely needed time to adjust to being married and living out here. But they didn’t listen then, either.

  “I think she always figured she could convince your dad into leaving the farm and moving somewhere else. She had a wandering foot. She’d pour over magazines and show me pictures and tell me how she couldn’t wait to see this or that. She’d plan these vacations and then pitch a fit when your father couldn’t leave the farm.

  “It seemed like she left in pieces. She stopped laughing so much, she stopped helping me with the cooking and the house. She didn’t go into town to see her family like she always had. She’d just sit and look out toward the road. She’d hold you close and cry. And then one day, she just left.”

  I stared past Gram, into the vegetable garden.
It was bare and empty this time of year. “Did she stop loving my dad? Is that why, do you think?”

  Gram shrugged. “Hard to tell. Did she ever love him, or was it just fun to have all the fuss and attention of getting married, and then having a baby? I always suspected your mother was one who liked the high points in life and couldn’t live through the mundane days. She didn’t understand that the real joy came from those boring days.”

  “Okay.” I rocked a little. “Thanks, Gram. Thanks for telling me.”

  “You’re welcome. But honey, don’t worry about being like her. You’re not. Your heart is good, and you’re going to be a wonderful mother.”

  “I think ... I think I might’ve messed it up already, Gram.” Tears filled my eyes. “I think I ruined it.”

  “Sweetie. Come here.” Gram stood up and took me in her arms, hugging me close. “Don’t cry, child. We’ll work it out. It’s going to be all right.”

  RILLA HAD BEEN GONE for less than twenty-four hours, and my life had already gone to hell.

  Piper had cried for fifteen minutes this morning when Rilla wasn’t there to fix her breakfast. I’d had to explain her absence to my mother, who frowned at me and asked what I’d done to upset that poor girl.

  “She’ll be back,” I told them both grimly. “She just needed a little break. The accident ... and everything. It was just stressful.”

  Mom narrowed her eyes at me. “What did you do, Mason?”

  “Why do you assume I did something?” I scowled.

  “Because she’s been so happy, and so clearly in love with you. You must’ve done something to make her leave in the middle of the night.” Her sparse brows drew together. “If you broke that girl’s heart and threw her love back in her face ... I’m going to be real unhappy, son.”

  I rolled my eyes, but before I could answer, there was a knock at the kitchen door.

  Ali Reynolds Evans stood on my stoop with her daughter. “We’re here to take care of Piper. Meghan said you might need some help while Rilla ...” Her eyes slid to the side. “Recovers.”

  “Bless you, Ali.” I could’ve kissed her.

  “I’m not doing this for you.” She shot me the stink-eye. “I’m doing this for Rilla. And for Piper.”

  Why she did it didn’t matter, so long as I could get to the club. I arrived around ten and buried myself in work. The less I thought about Rilla, the better.

  The lunch crowd was just beginning to die down when a familiar face made his way to the bar.

  “Hey, Mason.”

  I forced a grin. “Flynn. Long time and all that. I heard you were in town.”

  “Yeah, and I heard you got married. Congratulations, dude. Rilla’s a great girl.”

  I nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Also heard you fucked it up.”

  “News travels fast.” I wadded up the bar rag and tossed it into a barrel. “What can I do for you, Flynn?”

  “Nothing, but I can do something for you. I’m here to tell you to man up.”

  “Oh, really? What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Means you love the girl. That’s what everyone tells me, anyway. But you’ve convinced her you don’t. Now, Mason, I’m not saying you don’t have issues. You’ve got cause to be cautious. Life fucked you over and took your wife, and that sucks beyond the telling. But now you’re getting another shot. Why in the world would you turn that down?”

  “You don’t know what it’s like to lose someone you love.” I spoke through gritted teeth. “I can’t do it again.”

  “I get that. Believe me, dude. I know you don’t think it’s the same, but when I left town without Ali all those years ago, I thought my life was over. I didn’t want to love anyone ever again. And when I got back here and found myself falling for the same damn girl? You don’t think that made me stop and think? But I finally came to one conclusion. I love Ali. I’m not going to stop. So I can be miserable and think I’m protecting my heart, or I can take a chance and be happy. Call me crazy, but I chose the happy.”

  “I’d die if I lost her.” I couldn’t look him in the eye, for fear I’d break down and bawl like a wuss. “I know what that pain feels like. I can’t deal, not again.”

  “Oh, okay. I get it. So you’d rather go ahead and embrace the hurt right away than admit you’re already in love with the chick. See, Mason, what you’re not seeing is that by pushing her away, you’re getting what you think you can’t handle. You already love her. That’s not going to change. Odds are better for you if you grow a pair and tell her the truth.” He leaned forward. “Grab your happily-ever-after, man. They don’t hand them out like candy. Take it and run.”

  A glimmer of hope began to burn in me. I thought of Rilla’s eyes, trusting and filled with love, and something that might have been peace started to edge out the fear, melting its grip on my heart.

  Flynn stood up. “All right, I’ve said my piece. I’m outta here. My wife and daughter need to leave your house in about two hours, so make sure you’re home by then. We’re catching a late plane back to New York tonight.” He winked at me. “See, I got my happy ending. Turns out it was only the beginning.”

  “I need to see her. Meghan, so help me ... you know how I feel about you, but if you don’t step aside—”

  Loud voices woke me. I blinked into the sunlight that streamed through the window, confused for a moment until everything from the last few days came tumbling back down on me. I was still at Meghan and Sam’s house. But why was I hearing Mason’s voice?

  “Mason, calm down. She’s sleeping. She needed rest. Just sit here and have a cup of coffee, and when she wakes up, and you can say whatever you think you need to tell her. But I’m telling you, buddy, if you’re here to try to convince her you don’t love her again, you can just turn yourself right around and get out of my house. Because that’s bullshit.”

  I climbed out of bed, careful to avoid any creaking floorboards. I opened the door just enough to ease into the hall above the steps.

  “Of course that’s not why I’m here. I’m an asshole. I’m an idiotic, stupid dick. I almost threw away the best thing that’s ever happened to me. But I’m here to correct that now.”

  “Oh, yeah? What happened, Mason? Were you haunted by three ghosts last night?”

  I heard his sigh. “No, more like my mother, Flynn and my own stupidity.” There was a scrape that sounded like a boots against hard wood. “Meghan, I just freaked. The other night, when she said she loved me—God, I’ve known I loved her for months. But I kept pushing it away. And then the accident—it was like a warning. Don’t dare love her. She’ll be taken away. I got a taste what losing her would feel like. And it scared the shit out of me.

  “I swore I wouldn’t love her, because I couldn’t take that pain again. But dammit to hell if I haven’t gone and done it. I love her. I love Rilla. I’m in love with her, and I can’t live without her. And that scares me beyond anything I know. When I loved Lu ... I was young. I thought we had lifetimes ahead of us. Then in just one night, it was gone, and it almost killed me. If I hadn’t had Piper, I might’ve let it. But now I know what it’s like to lose. I know that pain. I thought I could protect myself from it, but ... it’s too late. And if I’ve fucked it up, lost her because I was afraid to lose her? No. I can’t accept that. I’ll do anything. I’ll beg. I’ll grovel. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving how much I love her.”

  Tears spilled out of my eyes again. His pain was anguishing, and I could feel it to my very soul. But taking a step ... letting him love me ... letting myself love him ... it was risky. It was a gamble. What if he changed his mind again and decided I wasn’t worth the pain?

  I closed my eyes, breathing a prayer for guidance, and in that instant, I was filled with something more beautiful and real than anything I’d ever known. It had nothing to do with the fire and brimstone of my childhood. It was an assurance, a promise and a fulfillment. I whispered the words to myself.

  “The substance of things hop
ed for, the evidence of things not seen.”

  Before I realized what I was doing, I walked downstairs, halting two steps from the landing.

  Meghan heard me first. She glanced up, and within seconds, Mason followed her gaze.

  He looked like hell. There was no other way to describe it. He hadn’t shaved, and his jaw was covered with dark stubble. His eyes were bloodshot, and he was wearing rumpled clothes that he’d probably slept in them.

  I’d never seen anything or anyone look so wonderful.

  I curled my toes over the edge of the step and leaned over the banister. “Mason, did you have something to say to me?”

  His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “Rilla, I love you. I’m in love with you. I’ve loved you since the day you wore that ugly funeral dress into my bar, and I’ve only loved you more every day since. I didn’t marry you to save you. I married you because I love you. I don’t ever want to lose you, in any way. But I’m not going to miss out on our life together because I’m too afraid of what could happen.”

  My voice trembled. “Love is scary and risky, Mason. I’m not looking for a prince charming or a knight in armor. And we both know you’re no saint.”

  Meghan snorted, reminding both of us that she was still in the room, and I grinned as I continued.

  “I can’t promise you I’ll never leave you, because none of us can control what happens in life. But I promise you as much as it’s in my power, I’ll be with you forever.”

  “That’s a start.”

  He took a step toward me. As I stood on the stairs, we were about the same height. Without looking away from my eyes, Mason knelt at my feet and wrapped his arms around my legs.

  “I’ll never make you want to leave again. Come home with me, Rilla. Come be my wife and let me be your husband. Let me be in love with you, as long as we both shall live.” He smiled. “Let’s claim our happily-ever-after.”

  The vows we spoke in that old farmhouse, in the early morning light, were more binding and real than any words we’d spoken before the judge in Savannah. The room was alive with love that was bigger than either of us, transcending time and space and loss and fear.