Lines deepened in Mamm’s forehead and she slowly shook her head. “I can’t recall anything like that.”
“Don’t you?”
“Nee. I’ve got an old box of things of your vadder’s in the spare room, though, if you’d like to have a look through those.”
“Could I?”
“Of course. Help yourself.”
Heidi smiled and passed her baby over to her mother. “You girls stay here a moment, I won’t be long.” Heidi walked away trying not to appear too anxious, and trying not to get her hopes up. This book might help her cross the portal back to her other life. That’s the only thing she had done differently that night apart from praying. The book was her only hope and that didn’t mean that God didn’t have a hand in it all. Maybe it was God who had reminded her of the diary last night.
She found the box in the closet and dragged it out. Sitting down next to it she started pulling things out. It was filled with old letters and yellowed newspaper clippings. Then, at the bottom of the box, she found it. It looked just the same as the day Dat gave it to her. She remembered it was Christmas Eve. Everyone had tried to talk her into staying at least until after Christmas, but she knew if she stayed another Christmas, she might never leave.
She placed the book carefully on the bed and then put the box back in the closet.
“Is that it? You found it?” her mother asked when Heidi walked down the stairs.
“This is it.”
Mamm held out her hand. “Give me a look.”
She sat back down next to her mother, with Michael now asleep on the couch between them, and handed the diary over.
“I honestly don’t remember ever seeing this. When did your vadder show it to you?”
“It would have to have been ten years ago or more. Do you mind if I borrow it?”
“Suit yourself.” Mamm handed it back. “Keep it if you want. I probably would’ve gotten rid of that old box anyway when I got around to it. They’re mostly letters from people I don’t know; people your vadder knew before he met me.” Her mother took back the book and flipped through the pages. “She certainly did travel to a lot of places.”
“Jah, I forgot about the book until the other day.”
“Maybe that fall you had jogged your memory? You remembered some things and forgot some things.”
Heidi nodded. “Jah, that must be it.”
Her mother handed back the book once more, and then turned her attention to the girls. “Would you two like to help me make some cookies?”
The girl’s faces lit up.
“Could we, Mamm?” Molly asked.
Heidi's mother stared at her. “Is that all right? Do you have the time to spare?”
She nodded. “Of course. That sounds like a lot of fun.”
“You stay here with the boppli, Mamm, and we’ll help Mammi, all right?” Jessica asked.
“Okay, if that’s okay with Mammi, I don’t mind staying by the fire.”
Her mother said to Jessica, “You don’t want Mamm to help us?”
“We can do it by ourselves with you.”
“Let’s do it,” Molly said.
The three of them headed to the kitchen, leaving Heidi alone with the baby. She studied the book in her lap and made up a plan. Tonight, she would do exactly what she had done the last night she was in her apartment and that was take the book to bed with her and read it until she fell asleep.
She studied Agnes’s handwriting. It was so even and beautiful, with careful scrolls on the capital letters. She looked at the recipes for Christmas cookies and just as she’d thought, it was the same recipe as the one that had been in her head when she and the girls had made star cookies. It confused her that her Mamm had forgotten about the book. It was the one thing Dat had from his side of the family.
Heidi closed her eyes, trying to remember everything she’d been told about her father’s mother. She had died when Heidi was only six months old and thus Heidi had no memory of her. Agnes had married and had three sons, of whom her father was the eldest. According to her father, his mother’s parents, Greta and John, had been conservative and it was odd that they had permitted Agnes to travel about by herself. It was unusual for a young Amish woman to travel alone.
Agnes had only traveled from community to community, so she couldn’t have gotten herself into too much trouble. Heidi wondered if Agnes had been resented by her siblings. Often the youngest one in the family was spoiled and was resented by the older ones. Being an only child, Heidi hadn't experienced this.
Heidi looked down at Michael and wondered if the girls would resent him. She figured they probably wouldn’t because he was a boy. He opened his eyes and looked at her and she couldn’t stop the smile that covered her face. Could she really leave him? Somehow, he didn’t feel like he was her baby, but she couldn’t deny the feeling that gnawed inside her that these three children needed her.
Knowing he’d soon be crying from hunger, she picked him up and headed to the kitchen to heat his bottle. The girls were standing by the table as Mamm was showing them how to measure things correctly.
“Mamm has a recipe in her head,” Molly told her grandmother.
“We all have recipes for different things in our heads. You will too when you get older.”
Molly’s eyes bugged open.
“I love cooking,” Jessica said. “I especially love cooking cookies.”
“That might have something to do with you liking to eat them,” Heidi’s mother said.
Molly and Jessica giggled.
“I like eating them too. They’re my favorite food. What’s your favorite food, Mammi?”
“Less talking and more concentrating on what you’re doing, Molly, or you’ll never learn what I’m teaching you.”
Heidi felt a little sorry for Molly when she heard her mother’s stern tone; that was how she'd been raised and her mother was probably raised even more strictly, with even more of a no-nonsense approach.
Once the bottle was heated, Heidi sat down at the kitchen table and fed Michael while she watched the girls cutting out the cookie dough with different shaped cutters. She had loved doing the same when she was a girl, and she'd especially loved eating the leftovers on the sides of the mixing bowl.
Chapter 13
That night, Heidi had everything organized in her mind. After the children had been put to bed, she gave them special kisses and said goodnight while thinking goodbye. Then she sat by the fire with Derek, and when he went to bed, she told him she wouldn’t be far behind him.
As soon as her husband was up the stairs, she pulled out the diary from underneath the couch where she’d hidden it.
Please take me back, book, if you have some secret powers. What am I talking about? God has done this to show me the other road I could’ve taken. God, thank you for showing me what could’ve been. I’d like to go home now. Amen.
She found the part where she’d fallen asleep back in the apartment, covered herself in a blanket, took a last look around her home, and then settled back to read more of her grandmother’s adventures.
Today I was amazed to see a familiar face arrive at Aunt Elsie’s farm. It was Malachi Arnold. He’s always at our place and my parents think highly of him. Sally Anne seemed too pleased to see him and now she won’t stop talking about him. She wouldn’t stop talking to him and no one else could get a word out, and that annoyed me more than a little. She kept looking at him from under her eyelashes with her head tilted in a funny way. I’m sure she thought she looked adorable as she smiled at him. I hoped he didn’t think so. He didn’t seem to pay her any mind. No more than anyone else if you deduct all the time she was talking. I mean, he had to look at her when she was speaking. It would’ve been rude not to.
I heard her whisper to her mother, “He's so tall and handsome."
“He's too old for you, Sally Anne. He must be nearly thirty," Aunt Elsie told her.
"That's fine by me," replied Sally Anne. "With looks like that who cares ho
w old he is?"
My instincts were right. Sally Anne likes him. I hope he doesn’t marry her and move away from our community. Mamm and Dat would be most upset if that happened. They enjoy having him to the house.
* * *
Now it is the next night and we had another of Mammi’s recipes. Mammi is Mamm’s and Aunt Elsie's mudder, but I’m sure Mamm doesn’t have all these recipes. I spooned into my mouth a dish called family beef potato pie. I helped her cook it. It was baked in a deep dish with layers of ground beef and chopped onion, mashed potato, and grated cheese, and then topped with loads more potato and baked until it was golden brown. It was really good! Aunt Elsie says she sometimes adds vegetables, too, such as peas and corn and carrots.
Family Beef and Potato Pie
Ingredients:
3 pounds ground beef
1 large onion, chopped
¼ cup flour
2-3 cups beef broth or water
1 pound cheese, grated
5 pounds potatoes, boiled and mashed in advance
salt and pepper to taste
optional – peas, corn, lightly cooked chopped carrots, about 2 pounds total.
Cookware
Large frying pan
Large deep casserole dish
* * *
Method
Heat oven to 325 F
Brown beef and onion in frying pan, adding salt and pepper if desired.
Stir flour into juices in frying pan, mixing until smooth.
Add broth or water slowly, stirring constantly to make a thick gravy.
Layer into casserole as follows:
1/3 of the meat mixture
½ of vegetables (if using them)
½ of cheese
¼ of mashed potatoes
Repeat above layers, then all remaining meat.
Remaining mashed potatoes as top crust, covering to edges of the dish.
Bake until bubbling-hot throughout and top of mashed potatoes is browned. (About 1 hour).
Everyone gave thanks for the food before we ate and Aunt Elsie told Malachi that I made the food. She made it sound like I made it by myself and I could tell Sally Anne didn’t like what her mother said. Her face didn’t show she was annoyed, but I could feel it because the tension filled the air.
Again, Sally Anne tried to make me look silly. This is what she said, "Agnes was sent to learn to cook and sew, Malachi. Can you believe that at her age?" Then Sally Anne gave me a little smirk while Malachi finished chewing his mouthful.
"Don't worry, Sally Anne,” I said, “I’m a fast learner." Then I gave her a sweet smile to let her know she hadn’t upset me in front of everyone. I should’ve said something clever, but I didn’t know what else to say.
“Agnes’s mudder is a gut cook and don’t the dochders learn from their mudders?” Malachi asked.
“Jah, but she can’t do it.” Sally Anne laughed.
I felt I had to explain myself. “Amy, my schweschder, and Mamm get so involved they tend to leave me out, but with Amy getting married soon, Mamm will have time to show me everything.”
Malachi smiled at me. I think he felt sorry for me, the way I had to explain my lack of cooking skills in front of everyone at the table.
Sally Anne leaned over the table and touched Malachi lightly on his hand, in a desperate way. "Malachi, can I show you around the farm tomorrow?" Her voice irritated me, and she kept talking before he had a chance to respond. "We have milking cows, pigs, chickens, turkeys, farm horses and we grow all our own fruit and vegetables."
My uncle said to her, "Sorry Sally Anne, Malachi is here just a few days, and he is riding with me to the high country tomorrow. I want his advice on some extra farm equipment I’m thinking of purchasing."
Sally Anne pouted.
Aunt Elsie said, "Before Malachi leaves, we’ll all go on horseback and have a picnic by the river."
I can say I was more than a little shocked that Aunt Elsie suggested to go horseback riding. My mudder would say that was worldly and like an Englisch sport. Then I remembered each community has a slightly different Ordnung. I would probably see and hear many things like this on my travels.
It cheered Sally Anne up when she heard about the picnic, because she announced loudly, "I will do all the cooking for the picnic."
"Nee," said her mother. "I want Agnes to do it."
With that, Sally Anne stood and left the room even before dessert and with food still on her plate. No one at the table said anything for a while. Everyone was shocked at her sudden departure. If she thinks Malachi would like someone who does things like that, she’s mistaken. She has a temper, she must have, to do something like that. I know she likes Malachi, and doesn’t like me, but I’ve done nothing to her. Perhaps she doesn’t like having visitors staying in the house. It seemed much like a small child's temper tantrum, and I thought I would not like to be Sally Anne later, when her father spoke to her about it.
* * *
I’ve been busy and tired, so I’ve missed writing for a couple of days. Now it is Thursday morning, and things have not improved with Sally Anne. I tried to be nice and then I gave up and now I altogether avoid her. Nothing I do or say pleases her and she’s always finding fault when I help with the cooking. I suppose that’s good because I need to learn what I’m doing wrong and I shouldn’t let her annoy me so.
Today is the day of the picnic. I am up and dressed very early. Yesterday, I helped Aunt Elsie with the food for the picnic. We made roast chickens, and cake, as well as some small apple pies. I hope today will be enjoyable. I’m not used to horseback riding, but I found out that around here they do it quite a bit. Aunt Elsie said after breakfast we’ll make sandwiches and then be on our way.
Now it is night time and the picnic was enjoyable. I have a sore bottom from riding the horse and sore lips from the dry wind. We must’ve been riding for two hours, and after our picnic it was another two hours back. The day was more about the riding than the picnic, I am guessing, otherwise, why go so far away for a picnic?
It was nice where we had the picnic. It was by a fast-running river, and we tied the horses up in the shade where they had lots of grass. Aunt Elsie spread out a large blanket and we all helped her place the food in the middle. Sally Anne deliberately waited until Malachi sat down and then she sat next to him. I sat on the edge of the blanket facing half away from everyone. Onkel Robert talked a lot about farming to Malachi and I wondered if he was talking so much so Sally Anne wouldn’t get a word in.
Sally Anne then came and sat beside me and asked me why I was so upset. She said it loud enough for everyone to hear. I insisted I wasn’t upset, I was merely enjoying Gott’s handiwork in the beauty surrounding us. She looked shocked at my response.
While we were there at the picnic, Aunt Elsie told me I’ll be leaving soon and be onto my next adventure. The next place is only twenty miles away. Onkel Robert is taking me halfway to meet the next people I’m staying with. I am to leave the day after tomorrow. Tomorrow, Aunt Elsie said she has some more things to show me in the kitchen before I leave.
Sally Anne added that I have much more to learn and I smiled and thanked her and Aunt Elsie for showing me so many cooking skills and sharing so many lovely recipes.
We only just finished the food and Onkel Robert said we should head back. I wasn’t ready to leave because I just wanted to sit awhile. Maybe I’d been sitting incorrectly on the horse as no one else seemed to be troubled by a sore rear. I found more pleasure in sitting on the blanket than I had riding the horse and I wasn’t pleased to have another two hours of it on the way back. At least it’s over and I won’t have to do it again.
* * *
This is my last night at Aunt Elsie’s farm. After breakfast, Malachi came to say goodbye. He added he might see me again before I finally arrive home. I figured that meant he knew where I was going on my journey and he might be at one of the upcoming places too. After I said goodbye, I told him it was nice that he’d been there. He looked a little
shocked that I said that, but I think he was also pleased. It was a little hard to tell.
Aunt Elsie sat me down at the kitchen table to give me advice on keeping a house. The first advice she gave me was to always bake enough bread. She said she’d give me more breadmaking practise that day and she did. Then she told me to always have cookies and cake on hand in case visitors stop by.
Before I went to bed tonight, she told me she’d loved having me here. She must really like me because she said it’s a pity we live so far from each other. Then she told me I learn fast and my parents will be pleased when she writes to tell them about my visit. Then she said something that shocked me. This is what she said, “I think Malachi has feelings for you. I see the way he looks at you.”
I shook my head. “We’re just friends,” I insisted. Secretly, I was pleased with what she said about Malachi. I’ve never had a man like me and I think I’m starting to like him. He’s quiet, but he’s thoughtful and kind.
I will write more after I arrive at Mr. and Mrs. Jemison’s place tomorrow.
* * *
Here I am at the Jemison’s horse-breeding farm in Youngstown and it’s very late at night. The home is another large log cabin type of home, and it is a family farm but mainly for horse breeding. There are two or three cows for milking and some chickens, a large vegetable garden and some apple trees. Mr. and Mrs. Jemison once lived in our community until they married and moved to this property years ago. It was left to Mr. Jemison by his uncle.
The Jemison’s have three sons. Job, Jeremiah, and Abraham. All are in their twenties and not married. There probably aren’t enough women here for them. Mr. and Mrs. Jemison asked me to call them Aunt Sarah and Onkel Abel. Aunt Sarah is a short motherly woman with an ample bosom. When we were alone, she told me all the women in her family are short and fat. She used the word ‘squat,’ which I suppose sounds a little better.
In Time for an Amish Christmas Page 10
