Out of Uniform

by Catherine Mann

  “I guess it’s too much to hope for that he got lost looking for morning coffee.” Her voice faded into a final shaky sigh.

  A tiny, scared sigh that stabbed clean through him.

  “We’ll find out who you are,” he vowed.

  No answer.

  Jacob stepped away from the kitchen counter.

  Sixty seconds complete. Dee’s chest rose and fell in the even pattern of heavy sleep. He ambled over and knelt beside her.

  Only in his life for one day and he would never forget her. What made her so special? Sure she was pretty, but not a knockout by technical standards. And she was so delicate—but stubborn.

  She had a fire and grit he respected. No whining or clinging-vine crap; she’d pulled herself through a day that would have sent most people diving into a bottle of Valium.

  Jacob eased his arms under her, slowly, watching for signs of stirring. There weren’t any. She’d fallen asleep hard and fast, her slender body deadweight.

  Dead? His gut fisted. He’d been so concerned with concussions, he hadn’t considered foul play.

  He should have considered that straight up. Jacob forced himself to recall every detail of “Mr. Smith’s” face, his vehicle. Hopefully the Suburban plate number could be traced. He had it on file.

  And if it couldn’t be traced…That implied a danger for Dee he didn’t even want to consider.

  Jacob tucked her more securely against his chest. He couldn’t stop himself from dropping his head closer and inhaling, tightening his grip and savoring her softness she’d hidden beneath the sweater all day.

  If John Smith had wanted her dead, it wouldn’t have been difficult. There must be another answer, and they would find it at the police station.

  He would help her through the police procedural red tape in a way her tour bus buddy never could. The Tacoma PD would damn well do their best to find out who this Dee Smith/Jane Doe was. He would make sure of that.

  Gently he lowered her to his bed. He draped the quilt over her and stroked the hair from her face. Silky strands slid through his fingers, glistening in the beams shimmering through the skylight. His battered knuckles skimmed petal-soft skin.

  A man could lose himself in her softness.

  But she needed to remember her past, and he was a man who wanted to leave his behind.

  Standing by the lobby coffee machine, Dee sunk her teeth into a cream-filled chocolate doughnut. She would vacuum carpets until the end of time for more of these.

  She stared at Jacob through the plate-glass window as he warmed his truck for their trip into town. All faded denim and elemental power, he made her mouth water for more than doughnuts.

  Jacob’s deep voice had reached to her through the night, comforting, protecting, wrapping itself around her like the quilt. She might not have always known where she was, but his voice had anchored her as she embraced another snippet of sleep.

  Man, she was hungry, ravenous, wide-awake and better rested than she could ever remember feeling. A laugh snuck free. Like that was a stretch given she had a little over twenty-four hours’ worth of memories.

  What had he thought as he’d moved her to his bed? The notion of him carrying her was both frustrating and more than a bit exciting.

  Putting that first horrible day behind her made the world seem full of possibilities. It was okay to lean on Jacob, just a little. They were only riding into town together.

  She watched him prepare the truck. Methodical. Steady. He moved with even-paced determination. He stepped from the cab, leaving the blue Ford running, puffy clouds billowing from the exhaust pipe.

  Snow dusted his jet-black hair and shoulders. He really should wear a hat. She almost grabbed one for him, but stopped herself. She could already envision his sleepy-lidded look if she shouted out the door to him like some overprotective mother or schoolteacher.

  His arms reached an impossibly long stretch across the windshield to scrape ice. Just below the waist of his navy ski parka, his jeans pulled taut against his backside. Chocolate melted in her mouth, warm and full over her taste buds.

  Jacob knelt to disconnect the electrical cord from the block heater and thoughts of long, chocolate-flavored kisses slid away.

  Block heater. A unique piece of equipment. The special addition to cold-weather-area vehicles to protect the battery. That wasn’t standard information except for someone who lived in extreme climates.

  Yes. She wanted to dance. A real clue. Maybe more would come to her throughout the day. And if she were from this region, that would make locating her all the easier.

  Background information. A small bit, but so important to a woman with little enough to call her own, and a driving need to find out if she had a child.

  Dee dashed for the door, ready to share her revelation. “Jacob, guess what?”

  He turned to her, snowflakes hanging on those long lashes of his. For a moment, no clouds darkened his eyes, just a pale, clear blue for her to fly into.

  She forgot how to talk. Thinking became temporarily optional, as well, while she let his eyes glide over her.

  Dee cleared her throat. She pointed to the cord dangling from the truck grill. “That’s a block heater.”

  He blinked. His blue eyes became moody and impenetrable again. “Uh, yeah.”

  “A block heater. I know what it is. I can see one in my head. I have one. I must be from the North, or was at some time.”

  A half smile kicked up one corner of his mouth. “Good, good. Go with it. What does the car look like?”

  Dee closed her eyes and thought, hard. Squinting though one eye at Jacob, she said, “Brown, maybe?”

  “Okay. Model? Make?”

  She grappled for the memory. She should have chased the thought while it was fresh.

  “Sorry.” She shook her head. “It’s gone now.”

  “That’s all right.” His hand cupped her shoulder. “You did well. Don’t force it. It’s a positive sign you’re remembering bits and pieces.”

  “I hope so.” The weight of his hands reassured her enough to push out the question she’d been afraid to ask but had to have answered. “Did you see Mr. Smith’s car when he checked in?”

  Jacob’s broad hand cupped her shoulder. “White Suburban. I checked my files this morning, and he had dealer plates, in-state.”

  “Not great, but maybe the police can still track him.”

  She looked up into those wolflike eyes, eyes that had greeted her hourly during the night.

  With a final squeeze, Jacob’s hand fell away. “Emily’s got the front desk until Grace arrives in another half hour. Let’s hit the road.”

  Her shoulder felt bare without his comforting touch. She hadn’t known to miss that comfort three seconds ago. How silly to mourn its loss now.

  “Are you ready, Dee?”

  “What?” Dee roused herself from a blatant stare at his bare head with its beautiful hair and reddened ears. “Yeah, just let me grab one more thing from inside.”

  Dee gripped the rail for balance as she dashed up the steps. Without giving herself time to think why, she headed straight for the coatrack and snatched Jacob’s hat.

  Chapter 6

  “W ho’s your doctor friend?” After over a half hour of ten-ton silence, Dee tried yet another attempt to jump-start a conversation. This guy had pensive down to an art form, and she needed a distraction from the nerves eating up her stomach lining.

  “What?” Jacob glanced from the road to Dee sitting in the truck cab beside him. The knit cap lay between them on the tan tweed seat.

  “Tell me more about the doctor I’ll be seeing.” She shifted to face Jacob.

  Jacob hooked his wrist over the steering wheel. For a moment, it seemed he wouldn’t answer, merely let the telephone poles whiz by at a monotonous pace. A toolbox in the backseat rattled in the silence. “Like I said before, she’s the wife of an old crewmate from South Carolina. He’s stationed here at McChord Air Force Base in Tacoma now. Actually they both are since she
’s a military doctor—Kathleen Bennett.”

  From the solemn set of his jaw, he probably wanted to drop her and all her problems. Although it stung being considered little more than a nuisance, she couldn’t blame him for not wanting to chat it up with his annoying amnesiac tenant. “I’ve imposed on you enough. Let’s go straight to the police station.”

  His gaze slid from the road to her with the slow shake of his head. “Your health comes first.”

  “I’m tired of waiting for answers. I need a name, a real name.” She couldn’t stop the notion that she wanted to meet Jacob on a more even footing, as an independent woman meeting an intriguing, sexy man, rather than the whole dependency scenario. “Besides, I won’t have insurance until we know who I am.”

  “Doc Bennett won’t charge you anything. I already called ahead.”

  Frustration made her want to clench her fists and pitch an unholy tantrum. “While I appreciate your help, I should have some say in my own life.”

  “Sorry.” His mouth curved into one of those rare, one-sided smiles. “Of course you should.”

  What would a full wicked smile that twinkled in his eyes look like? This wasn’t the kind of distraction she needed. “Let’s go to the station now, please.”

  “Think for a minute. You’ve been in contact with the Tacoma PD every couple of hours and nothing’s coming through. They’re running the license plate from the Suburban now. I didn’t want to scare you when we discussed it before, but we need to be sure nothing’s seriously wrong. Finding out who you are won’t be worth a damn if you pass out on the precinct floor.”

  Perhaps his one-word answers hadn’t been so bad after all. “But wouldn’t I have already—”

  “That’s for the doctor to say.”

  “Fine.” She waved a hand. “You’re right, and I’m irritable. There’s so much beyond my control, I can’t stop grasping at any little thing I can manage. Does that make any sense?”

  His smile faded altogether. “Yeah.”

  Back to one-word answers. So much for conversation.

  Dee stared out over the endless stretch of snow road, mountain peaks just visible through the misty fog. She monitored the mile markers, city limits now only ten miles away.

  Anticipation tingled through her at the notion of discovering her identity and hopefully answers about a possible child. Even so, she couldn’t stop a sliver of regret from mingling into the mix. Regaining her memory could mean saying goodbye to Jacob.

  Jacob was more than ready to say goodbye to whoever had been following them since they’d left the Lodge.

  The snowy haze made it difficult to keep track of cars around them beyond headlights beaming through soupy weather. But he’d seen the same light-colored SUV peek through the fog again and again. He couldn’t be sure of the paint job with all the sludge on the vehicle, but he also couldn’t stop thinking about Mr. Smith’s white Suburban.

  Of course with so many SUVs around here, the odds of seeing slush-covered Suburbans were high. It could be coincidence. He’d tried slowing, speeding up, even taking a side road and still he could swear they had a tail.

  He didn’t want to stress out Dee further, especially not before a doctor’s okay on her health. At least she wasn’t pressing for conversation anymore and he could keep his full attention on making sure they made it to the base safe and sound.

  No one would get through the front gate without proper identification.

  He checked the rearview mirror again. Nothing but snow and a sedan now. Still, the unease itched. Maybe he was being overly cautious.

  But until he knew what had happened to Dee, he couldn’t relax his guard.

  “There are no drugs in your system.”

  Dr. Kathleen Bennett’s words brought Dee a mixed swell of relief and disappointment. Relief over nothing toxic in her system, and disappointment that the answer wouldn’t be simple.

  She took in the military doctor, a flight surgeon who wore a green flight suit with a stethoscope around her neck. The woman inspired trust with a brisk no-nonsense confidence that Dee appreciated. She would focus on that, trust that and try not to think overlong about Dr. Bennett’s slight swell of pregnancy that made Dee’s stomach clench.

  She forced back the need to take Jacob’s hand. While he’d sat in the waiting room throughout her morning full of exams, she’d asked that he be allowed to join her afterward.

  Watching him walk so confidently through his military world at McChord Air Force Base sparked confidence in her—and a yen to see him in his flight suit.

  “I’ll send your blood work out for more extensive testing, but so far there’s nothing out of the ordinary.” Dr. Bennett tucked her pen behind her ear into her red braid and flipped through the chart. “You’ve definitely got a bump on you head, but not severe enough for us to be concerned about.”

  Jacob swallowed, a long, slow ripple of muscle along his strong neck.

  He was worried? For her? He’d hidden it well earlier in the truck, so distant and moody, only relaxing somewhat once they crossed through the front gate of the base.

  Regardless, she wanted to clutch his hand in gratitude rather than for comfort. Someone cared what happened to her. How small and incredible a thought.

  Jacob pressed, “When will we hear back?”

  “A week at the most.”

  Dee winced. “So many tests. Expensive tests.”

  “Don’t worry. We’ve got it covered.”

  Jacob had, she must mean, but Dee couldn’t afford to argue. “Thank you.”

  Dr. Bennett flipped another page on the chart. “Your psychiatric evaluation came back basically normal.”

  An airplane roared overhead and Dee flinched. Just the jolt of the unexpected noise, right? Not freaking out with a panic attack, damn it. Still she had to ask, “Basically?”

  “You’re displaying moderate signs of anxiety, but that’s perfectly normal given the situation. I’d be more concerned if you weren’t at all stressed by the circumstances.”

  A calm settled over her for the first time. “You believe me.”

  Her brows rose. “Oh, yes, you passed that part of the psyche eval with flying colors. I can prescribe something for the anxiety.”

  “No. Thank you.” A thought occurred to her. “Although I was carrying an EpiPen with me and I have no idea what I’m allergic to.”

  Dr. Bennett frowned. “Were you wearing a medical alert bracelet?”

  A good thought on the doctor’s part, but, “No, and I haven’t found one anywhere in my room.”

  She pulled her pen from behind her ear. “It could be any one of a million things. The most common allergies I see are to bees, peanuts and shellfish. You should probably avoid those and keep the epinephrine close. I’ll send you home with a few extra to keep around, just in case one gets lost. I’ll also give you a printout of symptoms to be aware of in case of an allergic reaction.”

  Dee slid her hand into her pocket, her fist closing around the medicine. “Thank you.”

  “All right, then.” The doctor scribbled a notation on her chart, then tucked the pen back into her red braid. “You’ve managed well so far, but don’t hesitate to let me know if something changes.”

  Jacob stepped from behind the gurney as if to block the door. “That’s all you have for us?”

  The doctor’s hand fell to rest on the barely visible pregnancy bulge as if to soothe a restless child. “To be honest, Dee, I can’t explain why you’re suffering a memory loss. Until you remember, we have no way of knowing. On the bright side, you’re a healthy young woman, somewhere in your early thirties, I would guess. You’ve had your appendix and tonsils removed. You’re O Positive and don’t wear glasses. You weren’t battered, attacked or raped. No signs of a sexually transmitted disease.”

  She paused, shuffling uncomfortably for the first time.

  Dee couldn’t take her eyes off that hand circling a pregnant stomach. She already knew the answer before she asked the question. “And?�
�

  “You’ve been pregnant at least once, delivering by Cesarean section.”

  Dee exhaled, surprised how hearing what she already knew still sucker punched her. A baby. A child. Son or daughter. She squeezed her eyes shut for three calming breaths.

  She opened her eyes and found Jacob’s hands clenched by his sides. She should have prepared him for this. It hadn’t been fair to surprise him, but how could she have slid it into polite conversation? By the way, I have this nifty scar on my belly that leads me to believe I’ve had a baby or two. Oh, yeah, and don’t forget the sexy stretch marks.

  Jacob cleared his throat. “Any idea when?”

  “Not recently, judging by the incision. Again, I’m sorry I can’t do more for you than that.”

  Jacob pivoted on his boot heels toward Dee, and she turned away. She couldn’t face any more questions from Jacob, not yet. “Thank you, Doctor. At least I know I’m not dying or crazy. That’s something, right?”

  “Yes, it is.” The doctor squeezed Dee’s arm.

  But it wasn’t enough. She wasn’t content to let time take its course and hope someone might be looking for her. She had a child to find.

  She’d also started a new life, a life rapidly filling with people, responsibilities and debts to repay. Emotional as well as financial. To do that, she needed to hop off the gurney and stop feeling sorry for herself. She pulled her attention back to the doctor’s words.

  “Jacob, I want to take a look at your arm before you two head out to the police station. And don’t bother to tell me you’re fine. I know all about the ego you boys tote around, and I’m not backing down.”

  Jacob’s arm. How could she have forgotten his injury just because he’d ditched his sling? She’d been so immersed in her own mess that she hadn’t even given him any warning of what they would hear. She was being selfish, especially after all he’d done for her.

  Now if she could just scavenge some communication skills she had no way of knowing she possessed.

  Hunger roared to life within him, a hunger fired by more than the woman walking beside him as they left the police station and settled into his truck.