Reaching Rachel

by LL Collins

  Athena walked over with a tray, and Rachel grabbed some crackers and cheese, realizing she hadn’t eaten since she got a few bites with Kayley. It was getting late, and they hadn’t even had dinner. She couldn’t believe it was even the same day still.

  “So, tell us what’s going on. It’s so great to see you guys together again. I prayed for it for years.” Rachel looked at Devin and smiled, and he took her hand and kissed it.

  “It’s a long story, but if you’re ready to hear it, we’re ready to share. This will also explain what happened to my face.”

  After over two hours of conversation, explaining every detail that had happened to them, Rachel felt emotionally exhausted. She had cried her eyes out while Devin told them about the incident with Justin, to the point that Devin’s mom had asked her if she wanted him to stop. They had also talked about Devin’s younger sisters and what was happening with them. At one time, she had been close to them as well. They were all adults now, Samantha, 22, Laura, 24, and Jenna, 28. She wanted to get together with them the next time they were over visiting and apologize for cutting them out of her life when things went south. At one time, they had been just as much her sisters as Devin’s.

  “It’s amazing, what you’ve been through,” Athena said, dabbing her eyes. “You’re such a strong woman, Rachel.”

  “I’m not,” Rachel disagreed. “I’ve been in therapy for months. There are days that I panic over nothing, and nights that I wake up screaming and Devin has to calm me, show me that it was just a dream.”

  “He was meant for you,” she continued. “He’s your protector. I know you’re a strong woman and girls of your generation don’t like to hear that, but it’s true. Devin was meant to be with you. That’s why nothing worked when you weren’t together. He was unhappy, and so were you. We knew, all these years, that if you didn’t find your way back to each other, neither one of you would live a fulfilled life. I’ve never been happier for you two.”

  “Don’t be too hard on yourself,” Ryan interjected. “Give yourself time to heal. You know I’ve seen a lot in my 30 years on the force, and I know that the ordeals you have been through would shatter even the toughest cop. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Has Devin ever told you about the case I had when I was a new cop?”

  Rachel looked at Devin, and he shook his head no. “I never told her.”

  “When I was a rookie, my first year on the job, I was a beat cop, of course. I was with my partner when we got a domestic violence call. It wasn’t unheard of in the neighborhood we patrolled. When we got there, it was at a rather shady apartment building in a bad part of town. We surveyed the area, then walked up to the door. We couldn’t hear anything, so we knocked, announcing ourselves as police. There was only silence. I started to get nervous, not knowing what was going to happen, but of course I couldn’t show that, since I was supposed to be a tough cop. My partner knocked on the door again, then tested the knob. It was unlocked. He pushed it open, and what I saw …” he trailed off, looking away. Even after that many years, it still affected him.

  “There was a baby, sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by the bodies of what had been his mother and father. The father had shot the mother in front of the baby, then himself. There was … bodily fluids all over the baby, and all over everything. I turned my head and threw up outside the door, over and over and over. I cried like a baby. I had to go to counseling for months after that, and for years I would wake up, screaming, wishing I could’ve helped the outcome of that call. To this day, I think of that baby. Of course he’s an adult now, but I wonder where he is and what happened to him.”

  Rachel sniffled as she watched Devin’s father try to keep control. “That’s awful.”

  “I don’t tell you that disgusting story to make it seem light, what you went through. I’m telling you that because I want you to see that it doesn’t make you weak because there are things you can’t control, can’t get out of your head. Let other people help you, Rachel. You can’t do it alone.”

  She nodded, a lump in her throat. “Thank you,” she whispered, lacing her fingers with Devin’s. He kissed her temple, rubbing his hand along her back. She yawned right before her stomach growled.

  “We’ve had a long day,” Devin announced. “We’re going to get to our hotel. I promise we’ll be back to visit very soon.”

  Athena hugged Rachel tightly. “I’m so glad you’re back together,” she whispered in her ear. “He was never himself without you. When I watched him tonight, every time he looks at you, it’s like there is no one else on this earth. He’s totally and completely in love with you.” Athena looked over her shoulder at Ryan. “Dev is just like his dad. Big and tough, but they love with their whole heart. To this day, Ryan is the most romantic husband. He’s never afraid to show me how much he still loves me. That’s the kind of man Devin is. He gave his heart to you all those years ago, and you still have it.”

  Tears shimmered in Rachel’s eyes. Damn, all she seemed to do was cry anymore. “Athena, thank you for telling me that. I’ve had to come to the conclusion that Devin loves me, even with all of my baggage. That was hard for me to accept at first, but I see it now. And I love him too, and I always have.”

  “Stop making my girl cry,” Devin interrupted, pulling her to him. “Let’s go, Rach. You’re exhausted.” Devin knew that tonight would probably be rough for her. Overly emotional days ended in rough nights. Rachel hugged Ryan, and he winked at her.

  “Welcome back to the family,” he smiled. “And if you need anything, please let us know. We’re always here for you.”

  Devin pulled into the hotel and shut off the engine, looking over at a sleeping Rachel. In the thirty minutes it had taken them to get here, she had passed out. Her car was still at the precinct, and they would have to get it tomorrow before they headed home. For now, he needed to get his sleepy girl into the room and let her rest. He had put her through hell today. Between not sleeping last night while they finally got out all of their issues, to him being in jail, confronting Zack, and seeing his parents, she was more than done.

  He smoothed her hair back from her face, his heart squeezing. God, he loved her. He couldn’t believe he was getting another chance with her. All he wanted to do was take care of her and love her through the rest of her life.

  “Rachel,” he said softly, running his fingers along her porcelain skin. She stirred at his touch. “We’re here, babe. I’ll help you get in to the room, but you have to wake up a bit.”

  She yawned and stretched, her shirt lifting to show a little of her smooth stomach. He gritted his teeth, his body instantly reacting to seeing her skin. He wanted her so badly. But, her rest and health was the most important. He helped her from the car and she leaned on him as they walked into the hotel.

  Rachel blinked, her eyes trying to adjust to the darkness. Where was she? She went to lift her arms, only to realize that she couldn’t move. Panic bubbled up in her throat. A light flicked on, and she shut her eyes against the intrusion. As her eyes got used to it, a scream ripped from her mouth as she realized who was in the room with her. Justin. She was sitting in a chair, bound with duct tape at her ankles and wrists. Looking down, she saw she was wearing only a shirt. No, not again. He stepped towards her, his face twisted in anger. As he leaned down, she realized it wasn’t Justin. It was Zack. He was sneering at her, holding a cup to her mouth. She smelled the alcohol, and she turned her head to avoid the liquid. When she refused to open her mouth, he threw it in her face and put his hand between her legs.

  “NOOOOOOOO!”

  “Rachel,” she heard faintly. That wasn’t Justin or Zack’s voice. “Wake up, baby. You’re safe. Open your eyes and look at me. It’s Devin.”

  She blinked her eyes open, her chest heaving with the panic of her nightmare. Devin’s face came into view, and she clutched onto him as the dream started subsiding.

  “Damn it!” she yelled, slamming her fists on the bed. “I hate this! I can’t even sleep. You can�
��t sleep. I’m sorry.”

  Devin rolled her so she was facing him, his caress calming her. “Stop saying you’re sorry. I’m right here. No matter what time of day or night. Come here.”

  He pulled her against him, feeling her pounding heart against his chest. He hated these damn dreams. It was something he couldn’t control, and it made him feel helpless. Running his hands through her hair, he knew better than to ask her what the dream was. She never told him. He didn’t know if it was just too painful to say it out loud, or if she was afraid to tell him what was in her head. She had her arms wound tightly around him, as if she was afraid if she let go, she’d go back to her dream. He didn’t know how long they lay there, but her heart rate eventually slowed and her grip loosened.

  “Feeling better?”

  “Yes,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

  Moving her hair to the side, he pressed light kisses to her neck, making her shiver. “How about I make you forget that dream.” Feeling the reverberation of his voice against her, coupled with the words he said, made desire roll over her like a wave.

  Hooking her leg around him and sitting up, she straddled him, taking in his bare chest and low hung shorts. His hair was messy from sleep, but to her, he was even hotter laying here in the bed they were sharing than if he was all dressed up to go out. “I like that idea, very much,” Rachel purred, flinging her tank top off. Sitting astride him with only her underwear on, his eyes darkened as he looked at her.

  “Remember what we started earlier in the car? I’m going to finish it. Right now. Get up.” Rachel’s eyes widened at his tone, and she smiled, loving that side of him. She climbed off of him, and he immediately followed, smacking her behind as she stood up. “Stay there,” he commanded. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, and she was standing with her back to him. He ran his hand along the T of her panties, then over her bare bottom. She shut her eyes at the sensation of his touch. “So beautiful,” he murmured, sliding the panties off and watching them hit the floor. He used both hands to caress her backside, one hand traveling to her inner thighs and the other one going up to touch her breasts.

  He stood up abruptly, shoving his shorts down and rubbing his arousal against her. She leaned back against him, her head resting on his chest. He used that opportunity to wrap his arms around her, touching her breasts, teasing them.

  “Dev,” she mumbled, using her hips to grind against him, pure desire fueling her. He reached one hand down in between them and touched her, his fingers expertly finding just the right spots.

  “On your knees, on the couch.” It wasn’t sweet and gentle, it was commanding. Her knees weak, she walked a few steps to the soft couch in their suite and did what he said, looking back over her shoulder to see if he was following. Their eyes connected as he walked slowly over to her, his desire for her protruding from his body. She raked her eyes up and down his amazing body, quivering from want. Sexual tension rolled over both of them like fog, so thick you could’ve cut it with a knife.

  He reached her, and she held her breath, waiting for him to touch her. For so long, she had been in control, had always had to be in charge of every single little thing. For once, it felt good to let go of that and know that someone else could make the decisions. She turned to touch him, and he stepped back. Frowning, she met his eyes again. “Hands on the back of the couch.” She lifted an eyebrow at him, completely turned on but wondering what in the world he had planned. She wanted to touch him.

  After a moment, she turned, putting her hands on the back of the couch like he said. Staring at the wall behind the couch, she waited in heightened anticipation for what he was going to do.

  “Move your knees apart a little more,” he said from right behind her, so close that his breath tickled her shoulder. She thought for sure she would spontaneously combust from waiting on him. Doing as he asked, she almost begged, but knew it wouldn’t matter. He was showing her he was in control, and she was going to let him lead.

  After another moment, she felt his hands in her hair, smoothing it, combing it through with his fingers. “I love your hair so much. Don’t ever cut it. I love it around my face as you ride me, and laying across my pillow, and everything in between. Right now I’m going to love it tickling my chest as I take you from behind.” Rachel gulped, a small mewl escaping her throat. This was a new Devin, and she loved it. While their lovemaking had always been hot and sexy, this commandeering man was a new facet to him.

  She didn’t speak; she wasn’t sure she could. When he touched her hips, she jumped. She had waited for what seemed like forever for him to touch her, and her nerves felt raw, exposed. He used one hand to snake around her and press on her lower stomach, and the other hand to bend her over so she was on her forearms on the back of the couch. Once she was where he wanted her, he used that hand to reach between her legs from behind, touching her. She knew she was ready; beyond ready. The anticipation of what he was doing was almost enough to send her over the edge before they even started.

  Devin hissed something unintelligible from behind her, and she smiled, knowing that even though he was controlling this, he wasn’t unaffected. “I can’t wait anymore,” he hissed. “Ready?”

  When all she could do was nod, he stepped behind her, angling her hips so she was open to him. Entering her forcefully, he groaned as she easily accepted him. Rachel arched her back as he filled her, the sensation almost too much to take. She was trying to stay against the back of the couch, but she wanted to move. As if he was reading her mind, he pulled her so that she was basically sitting on him, and they both moaned loudly at the pressure.

  “Devin,” his name out of her lips sounded like the best orgasm he could ever ask for. He moved her hips faster, moving her up and down. She reached up and behind her head to touch his head, and he used that opportunity to suck her neck. He was breathing hard into her ear, and sweat was forming on both of their bodies at the exertion. He was trying to hold out, he really was. Holding her up with one arm around her waist, he used the other one to touch her beautiful breasts, first one, then the other, teasing them, pinching them. She began wriggling, and he almost couldn’t hold out anymore. He reached down between her legs, feeling himself there. Touching her, he lifted her with the other arm while using his hips to send them both over the edge simultaneously.

  She cried out first, the combination of his fingers and him sending her quickly over the edge, her body shuddering and releasing for so long, she didn’t think it would ever stop. When her name came out of his mouth, a guttural, primal sound followed. As they came down together, Devin set her back on the couch and eased out of her, caressing her back. She turned to face him, a small smile on her lips.

  “Wow,” she teased. “That was like something you only read about in books, Dev. Where did that guy come from?”

  He laughed, pulling her up so she was standing with him. Wrapping his arms around her, she pressed her body against him again, and he knew he wasn’t done. Not by a long shot. “You like it?”

  “I love it,” she answered, kissing up his chest while her hands found him still somewhat ready for action. He sucked in a breath. “How about we go clean up, and you can do that again.”

  Devin rested his hands on her backside, pulling her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist. Her breasts pressed teasingly against his chest, and he could feel her warmth against his stomach. “That’s a promise, my love. Now let me take you and clean you up.”

  Rachel kissed his neck as he walked, never in her life feeling as loved, cherished, and protected as she did right then.

  “How’s it going, Rachel?” Dr. Troast smiled as she settled on the chair across from him. She smiled back, feeling the best she had since she started seeing him.

  “Things are great,” she said. When he just looked at her, she knew he wanted her to elaborate. Damn shrinks. They just make you babble on and on.

  “Well, the last time I saw you was right after we got back from Jacksonville, when all that stuff happene
d with Zack.” Dr. Troast nodded. “Things with Devin are … amazing. After we got all of that out, and he feels that he vindicated me by confronting Zack and getting some sort of retribution, it feels like nothing can come between us again.”

  “That’s great, Rachel. I’m glad to hear you being so positive about things. I just want you to be careful. Not of Devin, but of putting all of your worth into someone else. For so long, you’ve felt like you weren’t worth being loved, taken care of, or even liked. I want you to feel good because of you, not because someone else is giving you self-worth. I’m very glad you are happy again, because you should be, so please don’t get me wrong.”

  Rachel nodded. “I know. I get it. I don’t think that’s a problem. I mean, Devin has shown me how much worth I do have. He’s helped me heal past all of this stuff more than anyone. Sorry.” She grinned as Dr. Troast smiled at her.

  “Are you still living together?”

  “Yes. We don’t plan on changing that. We’ve lost so much time, doc. We want to be together as much as possible.”

  “And what about Justin? What’s going on with that?”

  Rachel sighed, the familiar bubble of panic coming up at the mention of his name. “His trial is supposed to be in March. The state’s attorney’s office is hoping that he just takes a plea deal, to avoid a trial. I really hope that, too. I’m not sure I can get up and testify in front of him. That might just send me over the edge.”

  “Well, if that’s what happens, we’ll deal with it,” Dr. Troast answered.

  “They made it as late as possible because they’re hoping that the girl in Alabama wakes up. They want to be able to use that to get him to accept their deal. He already plead not guilty to the charges at his arraignment, and his attorney is trying to use insanity as a plea. They hope that if they can get this other woman, he will see his best chance is to take the plea and avoid trial.”