Girl Across the Water

by Jody Kihara

  way of knowing for sure what he meant to do. He says he

  was out looking for Jasper―”

  I gave a snort, and Dad’s expression relented. “Well,

  you and I know that isn’t true,” he admitted. “But we didn’t

  have a light on the canoe, so he could have actually been

  on his way to the island to pick up the girl, or trying to see

  what was going on. He didn’t know for sure Jasper wasn’t

  with us in the canoe.”

  At my stony expression, he added, “Okay, or he was

  trying to scare us. But there’s still no way of proving he

  meant harm. Or knowing whether he did.”

  “But what about the whole setup?” I demanded.

  “There have to be a ton of things to charge him with! Intent

  to extort money from you, setting up a con with the

  intention of tricking or injuring us―” I didn’t know the legal

  terms “―and what about using the girl? And Jasper? I

  mean, they’re just kids! Using them like that can’t be

  legal.”

  “We could try and get into a big legal battle to prove

  all those things,” Dad said, “but as long as Revo and

  Daewood stick to their stories, there just isn’t much we can

  prove. Yes, I think any judge would believe us, but without

  actual evidence, even a judge couldn’t legally do anything.

  I think the best I can do is take the fact that Revo was in

  contact with Jasper without Vanessa’s permission and put a

  restraining order on him.”

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  “So he just gets away with it?” I shouted. “That’s

  so… wrong!”

  Dad put his thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his

  nose and pressed, like he had a headache. “I know it is,” he

  sighed. “But are other considerations. One, the time and

  money it would take to try.”

  “We have the money!” I snapped back. “You won’t

  use it to put someone behind bars who tried to hurt me?”

  “It’s not that,” he said. “Don’t forget, everything I

  inherited is eventually yours, and after spending months

  tying up all the legalities around that will, the last thing I

  want to do is waste it on something that I truly think would

  go nowhere. But it’s not so much the money that’s

  important; it’s the time and stress involved. Who knows

  how long it could all go on for? And the whole time it’s

  going on, it’s stress for all of us — you, me, Vanessa,

  Jasper.”

  “Oh, Jasper!” I snapped. “Admit it, Dad, that’s what

  this is really about! Once again, you’re trying to protect

  Jasper. At my expense!”

  “That’s not true!”

  “Oh, really? So tell me, what punishment do you

  have in store for him?”

  He shifted awkwardly. “Look Paul, this is all a

  gigantic mess.”

  “No kidding!”

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  “Jasper… is going to need a lot of help getting over

  this.”’

  “Help!” I exploded. “Are you kidding me? The only

  thing he needs help with is learning about a thing called

  consequences! Or maybe, you know, how not to conspire to

  murder!”

  Dad raised his voice this time, which surprised me.

  “Revo really messed him around,” he said. “Okay, I admit

  it, another part of the reason I don’t think it’ll do any good

  to try and put Revo behind bars again is, how will that do

  Jasper any good? He already has to live with the fact he’s

  got a father who’s a convict, who’s been in and out of jail a

  half-dozen times, who’s never been there for him, and who,

  even worse, repeatedly uses him to get money. How do you

  think that makes Jasper feel? He’s not starting from a good

  place, Paul. I know you think he needs to be punished for

  this, but believe me, he’s learned his lesson.”

  I wanted to speak, but was practically choking. I let

  my head roll and my hands fall to my sides, slapping the

  sides of my legs.

  “And I am aware, Paul, that all the time I’ll have to

  spend on Jasper is time taken away from you. I thought

  before that we could do everything together, as a family,

  but I see now we can’t. I need time for you separately. So

  I’m stuck — if I try to charge Revo with a whole bunch of

  things to satisfy you, then I’m caught up in a legal battle,

  and it’s ultimately less time for both you and Jasper. And if

  I’m trying to put his own father behind bars, that would

  likely mess Jasper up even more, which means he’ll need

  even more time and attention—”

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  “What about Vanessa?” I interrupted. “Why isn’t she

  the one spending time with him? He’s her kid.”

  Dad rubbed his eyes, looking tired.

  I knew he was right about the time and the legal

  battle but it was so unfair! That Jasper and Revo should

  both get off scot-free? Not to mention ‘Pa’.

  “What about Daewood?” I blurted out, realizing we’d

  forgotten about him. “Does he just walk away, too?”

  Dad put his fingers down and blinked. “He’s getting

  charged with pointing a gun at us. The police will probably

  need your statement for that.”

  “Then doesn’t that prove the rest of the story?” I

  asked. “Wouldn’t that support everything else?”

  “Not really.” Dad sighed. “Daewood claims he was

  helping his friend get his son back, and that Revo told him

  Jasper was legally his. Daewood’s story is that he was

  ‘doing the right thing.’

  I made another choking noise.

  “What about his kids?” I asked. “They just stay with

  a Dad who’s like that? Who put his own daughter on an

  island by herself, at night? Isn’t that negligence or

  something, can’t they charge him with that?”

  “I think social services will end up looking into that.”

  Dad sighed. “Again, it depends how much Daewood and

  Revo — and the kids — stick to their story.”

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  “But surely it’s wrong for his kids to stay with him!” I

  said. “I mean, what values is he teaching them? How to

  swindle people and not get caught?”

  “He’s no role model father,” Dad said. “But if they

  take the kids away from him, without any other family to

  go to they might end up in a home, and possibly separated.

  Is that better? For them to have no parent at all?”

  Yes, I wanted to say, but in truth, my head spun —

  these questions were way too much for me. In a home,

  they’d be away from ‘Pa’s influence… but would they just

  get more resentful, more out of control? I pictured Coralie

  in a home… she’d be raging like a wildcat. If she didn’t

  have to be straight-jacketed away in a padded room, she’d

  probably become the gang leader of the whole place, and

  teach all the other kids how to shoplift or shoot rifles or

  something… Oh, l
ord…

  “I agree he should be put away,” Dad said. “But I

  honestly have no idea what’s best for those kids.”

  There was silence for a moment; I didn’t know what

  else to say. I could feel my anger simmering back down

  again, like someone had turned down the burner, but it was

  still there, hot and heavy in my stomach. Dad turned to

  look out the window. It was a bright, sunny day, which

  seemed wrong: it should have been dark and gloomy, to

  suit my mood.

  Dad shifted back awkwardly. “Paul, I’m sorry, but

  I’m going to have to go out and find Jasper. It’s been an

  hour, now, and I’m worried about him, in the frame of mind

  he’s in.”

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  Instantly my anger flared back up, sending white

  heat from my stomach to my head. “Jasper!” I said in

  disgust. “He’ll be sitting ten feet in the woods, somewhere

  you can very conveniently find him. Dad, can’t you see,

  you’re playing right into his cry-baby routine? In fact,

  you’re encouraging him! How will he ever grow up if every

  time he pulls this trick, you let it work for him? He’s going

  to stay thirteen forever, with the maturity of a ten-year-

  old, if you keep letting him do this! Let him stay out there!

  He’ll come in as soon as he’s hungry.”

  Dad pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose

  again. “Paul, I wouldn’t be any kind of parent if I didn’t go

  check on him. If I thought he’d gone far, I’d be out looking

  for him already, but I can’t not make sure. The way he’s

  feeling right now…”

  “Oh, screw it!” I snapped. “This is so pointless. He’s

  going to stay a whiny little cry-baby forever, so that he can

  get your time and attention. Well, I don’t need your time

  any more, Dad. You made the decision long ago that Jasper

  was more of a priority than me.”

  I turned and stormed out of the cabin. The door

  banged behind me, and I didn’t stop to see if Dad was

  following. Likely not; he’d go find Jasper instead. Not that I

  wanted to talk to Dad any more right now. Knowing Jasper

  was probably sitting right at the edge of the woods,

  huddled up next to a tree and pretend-crying, I headed in

  the opposite direction and ran to the lake.

  When I got to the water’s edge, I was surprised to

  see our canoe sitting there. How had it got there? I thought

  it would be floating around halfway down the lake by now.

  It must have drifted towards shore. Maybe Dad had been

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  the one to haul it out; there wouldn’t have been anyone

  else to do it.

  Not only had the canoe made it back, but one of the

  paddles, too. Perfect — I could paddle away as far as I

  wanted, and stay out till dark.

  “Jasper!” I heard Dad calling. Instantly, my volcano

  of rage came to the surface, and this time it really was

  about to explode. The day was hot, and rather than having

  the sun beat down on me as I paddled, and sweating under

  a damp lifejacket, I decided I wanted to swim.

  There was no way I was going back to the cabin to

  find my swim trunks, so I kicked off my runners, stripped

  off my t-shirt, and strode into the water in my shorts. The

  cool water enveloped me, and I couldn’t dive under the

  surface fast enough. I cut through the water fast, and cold

  though it was in the deeper water, it still wasn’t cold

  enough to extinguish the heat inside of me.

  I’d never swum so hard and fast before. I headed

  straight for the lake in an anger-fuelled front crawl, not

  having to stop once to rest. It was like it gave me

  superhuman strength. When I reached the island, I

  emerged from the water and stood there dripping, amazed

  at how fast I’d come.

  My skin was cool from the water, but inside I still

  burned. I realized that it wasn’t just Dad and Jasper I was

  mad at: it was Coralie, it was Pa, and most of all, right here

  on the island, it was The Girl.

  The gravely beach was sore against the soles of my

  feet, but, ignoring this, I strode towards the entrance to the

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  bushes. This was going to hurt like heck: branches

  scratched at my bare arms and torso as I pushed my way

  through the tangle of foliage towards the clearing.

  I knew, obviously, that The Girl wasn’t here, yet still

  I felt a flare of frustration when I reached the clearing and

  didn’t see her. It was like the emptiness mocked me: the

  heavy, sun-drenched silence of the woods seemed to say ,

  she’s not here, you’ll never get answers, you’ll never feel

  finished with her. Like she was a witch, and would always

  have some strange hold over me.

  Why did you do it? I wanted to shout. How did they

  make you? I pictured myself grabbing her by the shoulders

  and shaking her. If you were so tough, how come you

  didn’t run away from home for real? Or did you enjoy

  leading me into danger?

  Silence mocked me again.

  The heat of the sun was like a magnifying glass on

  kindling. I needed to cool off, and the swim hadn’t done it.

  Knowing I’d be scratched to pieces, I nonetheless turned

  and pushed my way towards the cliff. Each time a branch

  clawed at me, it sliced a needle of heat into me. By the

  time I reached the cliff, my skin was radiating with white-

  hot scratches.

  Shuffling to the edge, I peered over. The water

  looked calm and inviting. Was it deep enough? I’d never

  properly checked, but the water was an even dark color,

  with no sign of any rocks. However, it was also in the

  shade, so that could explain the dark color. But I knew if

  you looked at how the land sloped above water, you could

  get a good idea of what it did underneath, and the cliff

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  edge appeared to go straight down, well underneath the

  surface.

  Pa, Coralie, the twins, The Girl… Revo, Jasper… Dad.

  The thoughts still fought and raged through my head, and

  without waiting any longer, I jumped.

  I crashed through the surface, and cold water

  boomed around me. Opening my eyes a crack, I saw

  swirling clouds of bubbles in the darkness. They hung

  motionless for a moment and then, as if collectively

  deciding, rushed on up. Kicking my feet and pumping my

  arms, I followed them up to the surface and burst through,

  gasping in the warm air and shaking my head in the glaring

  sunshine.

  This time, the cold water seemed to leach my anger

  away. Not all of it, but enough to make me focus on the

  immediacy of the moment rather than the crazed tumult of

  thoughts that had swallowed my rationality earlier. The

  temperature of the water was far lower in the shade, and

  as the coldness drove itself into me, I instinctively kicked

  my feet
. I turned to swim toward the beach side of the

  island, where sunlight sparkled off the surface so fiercely it

  almost blinded me.

  I swam more slowly this time, gazing up at the

  island — the jagged rocks, the beach, the tangled foliage

  rising up the slope — they looked so… solid compared to

  the fluidity of the water around me. Like they’d been there

  for eons, would continue to be there for eons, and didn’t

  care what happened to me. I didn't want to stand on the

  jagged pebbles of the beach again, with the sun beating

  down on me and stirring up all the anger and craziness, so

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  instead, I turned and began to swim away from the island,

  back to the cabin.

  My stomach gave a tiny, gnawing complaint as I

  swam, making me realize how long it was since I’d eaten.

  It must have been dinner last night, and that was almost

  twenty-four hours ago! It was strange to think how much

  had happened in that time ― it seemed like a week rather

  than a day. There’d been the light flashes from the island,

  going out in the canoe in the dark, the motorboat bearing

  down on us, me and Dad capsizing not far from where I

  was right now; and then Jasper’s whole story, Pa and Revo,

  the shotgun, the police station, waiting to hear if they’d

  been caught. And it was then that things had seemed to

  get even more twisted. It wasn’t so much Revo’s badly

  thought-out plan that had messed everything up, rather the

  mess he’d left behind to clean up. And it had all been left

  for Dad. I hadn’t exactly helped things, I now realized. I’d

  made the mess… well, even messier.

  As I swam through the cold water, it occurred to me

  how crazy it all was. It also seemed more distant, like I was

  no longer caught up in the middle of the whirlwind. Jasper,

  I thought, and felt a small twinge of sympathy for him.

  Sympathy? For Jasper? What was wrong with me?

  Maybe it was the cooling effect of the water, but

  when I thought of him, I could only picture the times I’d

  seen him looking unhappy. In fact, how many times had I

  ever seen him look happy? Unless it was when dinner was

  being put on the table.

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  I looked up as I swam. From where I was, I could

  see that the area around the cabin was deserted. No Dad,