“This you?” Roman nods without looking at me. Baby Romany is the spit of him. Poor kid.
Marley slides another photo over to me. It’s baby Colt, he’s only a couple months old, and the picture is new, but it’s so obvious that he’s Roman’s kid, just like Romany, Colt looks just like his Dad.
The next photo Marley hands me is smaller than the other pictures. A little frayed in one corner. I bring it closer to my face. For a second, I thought it was Romany. The eyes, not the color but the shape, the smile, they’re so similar.
I flip it over. There’s writing on the back. This is what you missed out on. This is what you denied when you called me a liar. She’s beautiful, isn’t she? She is who you truly denied. She’s who you lost.
“What the hell is this?”
“I think you know what that is, Trace.” Deep down, I do, but it’s not sinking into my head. “I made a mistake a long time ago,” Roman tells me. Everyone is silent. No one is moving a muscle or even breathing too loudly. “I was a stupid kid who thought he was God’s gift. Even more so when an older woman came on to a foolish prospect with ideas above his station.
“It was one night, that’s all. Couple of months later, she came to me and told me she was pregnant. I didn’t care, and I told her as much. She was nothin’ but a whore, so the kid could’ve been anyone’s. The whole damn town knew of her reputation: this town and everyone around it.
“I told her to get lost. Not to try and pin someone else’s mistake on me. Then she vanished with Red’s kid, and it broke him, and I felt it was all my fault for sendin’ her away.”
This is too much. It can’t be true.
But, of course, it can. Nothing would really surprise me when it comes to the men I class as my brothers.
“I got that picture in the mail about eighteen months after she vanished. I kept it to myself because I knew what it would do to Red. He’s my best friend, and I went behind his back. Did the one thing no man should ever do, and knew he’d blame me for losing his son. As selfish as it was. However, he wasn’t the only one who lost his kid when that bitch took off.”
I look at the photograph in my hand, and I can’t deny it as much as I want to. “She’s yours.” It isn’t a question; everyone at this table knows the truth.
“Yeah. I’m Fallon’s father.” How obvious is that to me now? They have the same green eyes, same smile. Their names even rhyme! Fallon and Tallon. God, how stupid am I? How stupid are we all?
“How fuckin’ long have you known, Roman?”
“The second she walked into the back room at the strip club. Second I looked in her eyes; I knew who she was.”
“All this fuckin’ time!”
“Calm down, Trace.” Ace shoots me a look.
Getting angry here is wrong; there are innocent children in the house. However, I am angry. I’m mad with Roman for not coming forward, for letting Fallon think she’s alone in the world when she has a father, a baby brother, and sister right here in the next damn town to where she lives!
“Do you honestly think I wanted this, Trace?” No, I don’t suppose he did. “I needed to make sure she was who I thought she was. When the girls at the club provided a urine sample for testing, I had a DNA test done. Fallon is my daughter, but I only found out for sure a couple of weeks ago. I’ve wanted to tell her, but I don’t fuckin’ know how!”
“Easy! Just sit her down and tell her the fuckin’ truth. Fallon needs you, man,” I tell him more calmly. “She has no one else in the world right now but you.”
Roman scrubs his hands over his face. I’m just as frustrated about it all. I don’t know where Ace comes into this, but now I realize what all the looks he’s been giving Fallon are. He’s Roman’s cousin on his father’s side. That makes him Fallon’s cousin also. He’s been looking out for her because she’s family.
She’s not alone anymore.
“It’s time to tell your daughter who she is, who you are, Roman. No matter how hard you think it might be, she needs you more than you know. Don’t let her keep wondering where she belongs. Red will understand.” I hope. “She needs you.”
All Roman needs to worry about is what Fallon thinks of him, not what Red will think about him fucking his son’s mother. I need to talk to Fallon myself; I need to make her understand that I’m... God help me, falling for her.
Everything will work out. I’ll make sure of it.
Chapter Seventeen
Fallon
Why are you here, Trace?” He’s been knocking the door for the past ten minutes. I didn’t want to answer, but he refused to fuck off. So I answered.
“I wanted to see you. Needed to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine.”
I’m not fine. I spent all of last night staring into space. I can’t believe I beat the crap out of someone because of this man, this handsome, sexy, huge man standing at my front door. I am so in love with him, and I can’t stand it. Love was never on the cards when I slept with him that first night. It wasn’t on the cards every time after that.
However, it happened against my will, and I can either go with it, or I can walk away from it and carry on being the lonely bitch I’ve been for the past three years.
I open the door wider for him to step inside. Trace does and closes the door behind him. “You’re not fine, Fallon. Wanna tell me what last night was all about?”
“You were there, Trace. I’m sure you’re not stupid.” Although, I’m starting to question it.
“You were jealous.” He’s smirking, the ass.
I roll my eyes and push past him. He grabs my arm and swings me around, pulling me against his hard body. “Let go of me, jerk!” My voice may sound strong, but I feel anything but right now. My hands clutch at Trace’s chest – when did that happen? – pulling at his t-shirt beneath his cut.
His eyes are on my lips, and my breathing is hitching. I’m not supposed to be turned on like this. I’m supposed to be angry with him for what he did. I know he’s angry with me. I shouldn’t want him in any way, let alone be in love with him. I’m not good for him, and he certainly isn’t good for me. So why then can’t I walk away and stay away? Why can’t he?
It would be easy to say that Trace grabs me and kisses the shit out of me, and looking at him, I know that he wants to do just that, but I can’t let him. Too much has happened between us just to get swept up in sex right now.
Regardless, my eyes close to the touch of Trace’s hand on my face. I lean into his touch. Something inside of me is begging me not to cry. I don’t have anything to cry about, but I feel really emotional right now. I just want to be loved, like, every other person on this damn planet. I want this man to love me. Is that so wrong?
We are so wrong for each other it’s not even funny. We have hardly anything in common, and all we do is fight. What kind of relationship would we have should we be together?
Maybe he can change, but I’m not sure that I know how. There are so many reasons to walk away right now and never look back. However, I can’t stem the selfish need to be with him.
I lay my hand over his hand on my cheek, making sure he doesn’t let go while opening my eyes to look at him. “I know you’ve had a hard time of things lately, but don’t let it define you, Fallon. I hurt you last night, and I’m the one who has to live with that. I was angry about what happened between you and Brick. I shouldn’t have let it get to me like I did, but you gotta understand that you hurt me too, Fallon.”
“I know that I hurt you,” I swallow back my emotions. I didn’t mean to hurt him. God, I had no idea that Trace would even give a shit, I thought we were just fuck buddies. Friends with benefits aren’t exclusive, and Trace never said anything to the contrary.
Nevertheless, I should have had more respect for Trace, and I don’t think I can forgive myself for what I did. Regardless, Trace needs to know the truth. I lied to him about sleeping with Brick because I wanted Trace to leave me alone. Saying such a thing was the only way I knew he’d
back off. I hurt him, but I almost destroyed myself.
“I didn’t sleep with Brick, Trace.”
“But you said...”
“I know what I said, and I said it to hurt you, to make you leave,” I close my eyes for a second and breathe deeply. “I do rash things when I’m angry, Trace. Stupid things that lead me to being alone. I pushed you away because I’m not good enough for you.” Trace narrows his eyes. I know that he doesn’t believe the same thing. He should. “However, I can’t lie to you anymore because I don’t want you to think that I did that to you. Yes, I got drunk and went with Brick to a motel. I let him kiss me, and...” I stop talking for a second because the low growl coming from his throat scared me a little. “I came to my senses and pushed him away, Trace. It was never really about hurting you, it was about hurting myself, but I realized that I didn’t want to be with anyone else like that. I don’t have any excuses other than I was grieving, but please, believe me, I did not sleep with him.”
Trace stares into my eyes, his thumb stroking my cheek, and he smiles. “I know that.”
My eyes widen in shock. He’s just going to take my word for it? “Really?”
“I see the truth in your eyes, Fallon. You have no reason to lie to me right now, we both know that.”
I nod my head because he’s right, I have no reason to retract what I previously told him unless it was the truth. I know as we as he does that he came here to get me back. He would have forgiven me for sleeping with Brick, and we would have moved on.
“I’m so sorry, Trace.” He’ll never know how sorry I am about what I did with Brick. I have no real excuse other than I was filled with grief. However, I can’t keep using that as an excuse for my fuck-ups. It’s time I grew up and faced the life I have now. I may have no family, but I have Trace if I haven’t ruined everything between us.
No family?
When am I going to stop lying to myself?
Stop denying her?
Maybe when Brick stops being a cunt and hands what’s mine back to me. I wish to God I’d never handed her over to him now. However, I thought I was doing the right thing. My life was a mess, and I couldn’t cope.
Brick has made sure to use it against me ever since.
I will fix things, just as soon as I know how.
But then I have this man in front of me. The man I love, the man who would help me should I ask it of him. However, I’m scared because I don’t know what the hell this is between us.
Is there something real between us?
Can a cheat and a fuck-up really be together?
Both his hands are now on my face, caressing my cheeks softly, and I’m losing myself even more to him. “I want you, Fallon, for more than just sex,” I blink rapidly. “You were mine the second my eyes landed on you at Stilletthoe. You know that, don’t you?” I nod my head automatically. “I’m sick of this push and pull shit between us. I want to be the one you come to when you’re upset. I want to be the man to take care of you, to love you...”
“Love me?” That’s what he said, right? I think I’m a little in shock. There’s no way a man like Trace, a complete whore of a man could love me. Moreover, there’s no way he could ever stay faithful to me. He couldn’t even stay faithful to the woman he was going to marry.
What the hell would make me so special?
Exactly. Nothing.
However, didn’t I say that to him about myself? That I wouldn’t stay faithful to him?
Am I being unfair in thinking this about him?
I mean, aren’t I the one who wants this man to love me?
“Yes. I don’t know what you’ve done to me, little girl, but I can’t think of anything but you.”
“Is that what you used to tell Willow?” It was a low blow, but I needed to say it. His hands fall from my face in defeat, his shoulders sagging, and I think I may have really ruined things between us.
Trace walks over to my couch and slumps down on it, his head back for a second before he sighs and looks at me. “I deserved that.” He sits forward, elbows on his knees for second before sitting back again.
I’m just standing here with my arms folded around myself, wishing I felt better about him and me. All I want is to tell Trace that I love him and I want nothing more than to be with him, but if I don’t do this now, I will always be wondering what he’s doing and whom he’s doing it with. We cannot start a relationship without putting all our cards on the table from the very beginning.
“Willow and I were young when we got together. I didn’t even know who I was back then. I ain’t gonna sit here and feed you some bullshit line about why I did what I did to her. I was a cunt, and that’s the truth. Willow deserved more than me, and she found it in Hammer. They have a love so rare.”
He’s right, they do. They’re perfect together. Could we find that, Trace and me? I don’t think I’m that lucky, even though I want it desperately.
“After Willow left me, I never even contemplated another relationship. Didn’t want one, never needed one. I fucked whoever, whenever, and wherever because I could,” This isn’t making me feel any better. “Then, you came along. The girl I can’t forget. The girl who’s driving me insane! The only girl I have ever, in all honesty, wanted to make mine and never let go. You’re fuckin’ amazing, Fallon, and you don’t even see it. You’re smart and beautiful, and you keep me on my toes like no one before you. We’re two of a kind, you and me.” He smiles, sweetly at me, and I can’t help smiling back. “You are everything, Fallon.” Trace scrubs his hands over his face and gets out of his seat. “Fuck it. I’m no good at this shit.”
Trace pushes past me, and I’m like, seriously?
I get it, he’s tongue-tied, he’s never felt like this about anyone before, not even Willow, and yes, that makes me feel really fucking special. It makes my heart beat tenfold. It makes me want to jump up and down and scream to the heavens because I feel so damn happy. For the first time since Scott was shot, I feel genuine happiness inside of me.
Am I worried that he’ll cheat on me? I think deep down there will be that fear there for a while, until we get to really know each other, at least. However, then he might have the same concern about me.
We have fun together. We also argue and fight, and make each other jealous, which leads to the most amazing sex I’ve ever had. We have a passion most can only dream of. Trace is my kryptonite, as well as the light in my life, my sun and moon, and my everything. Jesus, I sound stupid, but that’s honestly how Trace makes me feel. I’ve tried so hard to fight what I’m feeling, but when he’s in front of me like this, I feel so weak, and I just want him to hold me.
Do I trust Trace? With my life.
If I trust him with my life, shouldn’t I also put that trust in the fact he won’t cheat on me? Wouldn’t that be fair?
Yes, he has a shitty reputation for sleeping around, but everyone can change if they really want to. I’ve heard a thousand times about how both men and women change when they meet “The one” Trace isn’t the exception to that. He can change as much as anyone else. I have to believe that.
I don’t want to watch Trace walk away from me for good this time. He came here to tell me that he’s forgiven me for what happened with Brick. Even though I proved myself to be a cheat when he’s not once been with anyone else since we met. He still wants to be with me, to be my man, and I want that too. So fucking badly.
“Wait!” Trace stops just as his hand reaches for the doorknob. He turns to look at me. I open my mouth to speak, but the words won’t come out, so I just smile and run at him, my arms around his neck, and he lifts me off the ground. “Don’t go. I love you, and I trust you won’t hurt me.”
He pulls me closer to his body, and I wrap my legs around him. Something inside of me settles. The nagging, lonely feeling inside of me is gone. I’m not alone because I have Trace, the man I love, and I know nothing can ruin this for me. For us.
“I love you, baby girl.” God, it feels so good to hear him say that.
>
“Take me to bed,” I mumble around kisses to his sexy mouth.
He smirks and carries me to my bedroom. Standing me on my feet, Trace removes me of my clothes. He then stands there while I strip his sexy body of his clothes. I get to my knees in front of him. I want his beautiful cock in my mouth. I love the taste of him, and I want it all.
I stroke him up and down, feeling the smooth skin of his hard cock, all the time, looking into his beautiful eyes as he watches me. I love that Trace watches me like this; it makes me feel so powerful.
I lick the tip of his cock and smile when he hisses in pleasure. I could never have touched Brick like this. I can’t even imagine putting his cock in my mouth and sucking it. Brick wouldn’t have tasted like Trace. Trace tastes so damn perfect I could get lost in him and be happy there for the rest of my life.
“That’s it, baby girl. Fuck. Suck me just like that.” I hum around a mouthful of his cock, his hand strokes my hair like a master petting his loyal dog or cat.
Trace is getting frantic, rutting my mouth harder, faster, choking me. God, I love it!
I pull him out of my mouth for a second and tell him, “Come in my mouth, Trace.” He growls from his chest, grabs my head in his hands, and fucks my face like a madman until he’s shooting his load right down my throat.
Trace throws his head back, his hips still thrusting in and out slowly as he comes down from his orgasm. He looks like he’s in heaven right now, and that makes me feel amazing.
I squeal, happily when Trace reaches down and grabs me, throwing me down on my bed and diving between my legs. My eyes roll to the back of my head, my back arches off the bed the second his tongue slide along my soaking wet, aching pussy. My God, he’s so good at eating my pussy. I’ve never felt anything like it.
I grab his hair in my hands, pulling him closer, screaming for him to suck my clit harder. He does, so hard that I’m grinding into him until I come so hard, I can’t breathe.
Two Of A Kind: Snakes Henchmen MC Page 12
