Healing Hope

by C. A. Harms

I put a little more effort into my appearance than usual. Braiding my hair, wearing a light layer of makeup and lip gloss. I actually felt human, lighter. I’d foregone my usual jeans and t-shirt, choosing a skirt that hit just above my knees. The blouse was light and airy, and when I stepped outside the breeze felt good. It even brought a smile to my face as I remember the last time I wore a skirt.

  “Holy hell, look at the set of legs on you.”

  I shoved against Walker’s chest and he stumbled backward.

  “What? I’m serious.” He reached out to grip my leg. “Smooth, too. Damn, Hope, who’d guess that those were hidden beneath all the jeans you wear.”

  He always teased me about being a tomboy.

  Looking around the yard, I walk toward my car with my bag in hand and pause when I look at my windshield. There, tucked beneath one of the wipers was a purple flower. The same flower Travis tried to give me the night before that I refused to take. In that moment, a completely different type of guilt consumed me.

  Taking another step closer, I slipped it out from beneath the blade and lift it to my nose. Not so much for the aroma, but more the feel of the silky petals against my skin. The movement alone gave me a much different reaction that I originally thought it would.

  I expected some rush of sadness. Maybe a crippling longing for that friend I’ve missed so much. Instead, a sense of warmth filled me as I thought of Walker. He’d given me so many memories in the time we shared, this in particular being just one of those.

  But that memory was now mixed with the one of Travis holding that same flower toward me. That part of the thought should have angered me. Only it didn’t.

  Instead, the two meshed together and made me smile. In a different lifetime, I think Walker would have liked Travis. They were alike in so many ways, though I barely knew the cocky electrician, I could see the similarities.

  Once inside my car, I place the flower in the cup holder, taking another moment to appreciate the significance of its beauty before I start my car.

  The drive into the city was a little less dark as I passed many places that held memories I usually chose to ignore. It was different to welcome them. Stopping at the cafe along the way, I used my phone to google Donovan Electricians since I had long ago tossed his card.

  After taking in a deep breath, I dial the number and hold my breath. I think I half expected him to answer, as he did the first time I dialed the number while he stood in my living room. The high pitched voice on the opposite end was female, and I had to pull the phone away from my ear to keep from cringing.

  “Donovan Electric, how can I help you?”

  Still holding the phone at a safe distance I reply to her question. “I was hoping I could speak to Travis Donovan?”

  “He’s not in the office today.” Her voice once again made me jump in surprise. You'd think I’d be prepared after the first time, but no. “He’s actually working to finish up a big job before the end of the week. Is there something I can help you with?”

  I remembered then that my mother mentioned an apartment complex he was working on. I rack my brain falling back to that very conversation we had standing in my parents’ kitchen. I try my very best to remember her exact words, even though at the time I tried to rush past the topic.

  “Midland,” I say out loud, not meaning to, when I remember the location my mother had mentioned.

  “Yeah, it is the Harland Estates apartment complex actually,” the woman on the phone replies. “But yes, it is off Midland.”

  “Great, thanks.” I end the call before she can inquire any further about who I was or why I wanted to know.

  With a quick trip inside the cafe, I left carrying my own Caramel Latte, and one cup of black coffee. I had no idea what type of coffee Travis liked, so I made sure to grab every flavor of creamer they offered, as well and enough sugar for ten cups. My idea to show up on his job sight with my own form of a peace offering suddenly felt as if it were the dumbest idea I’ve ever had.

  Instead of allowing myself to climb back inside that shell my father insists I live in, I pushed forward, held my head high, and drove straight to Midland.

  The trucks that had the name

  ‘Donovan’ on the side jumped out among the others. The red, blue and yellow themed decals were hard to miss. But the one that stood out the most was the sleek black Tahoe with tinted windows. My heart raced just from seeing his truck alone, I can’t imagine what it will do when I see him instead.

  I spent five minutes debating with myself if this was the worst possible solution to the way I acted toward him last night. I could just send him a card, or an apology plant maybe. Did I really need to make this a face to face thing?

  I jump as there is a knock on my window. I turn to face a man that in some small way seems familiar. Taking in a deep breath I slowly lower my window and look up at the man that stood only a foot away.

  “Can I help you?”

  “I was actually looking for Travis Donovan.” I was aware that my voice crackled with nervous energy. A slow smile spread over the man’s face as he leans over and rests his elbow on the top of my window sill.

  “Does he know you’re here?” I shake my head slowly feeling more foolish for admitting it. “You a friend?”

  “More like a possible enemy.” He chuckles at my response. I hold up the coffee I’d brought for him. “But I’m hoping to change that with a bribe.”

  “Black?” I nod and he offers me a return nod.

  “But I brought cream and sugar just in case.”

  “Trust me.” He offers a wink as he stands up and reaches out to open my door. “Forego the cream and sugar, and just bring the black coffee. It will work better in your favor. I should know, he’s my kid brother.”

  My eyes widen in surprise, and instantly I realize why he seemed familiar. The man had the same smile and the identical mesmerizing blue eyes as Travis did.

  He helps me from the car and begins leading me toward the building where all the trucks sit outside. I was both humiliated and nervous. This was a bad idea, a really really bad idea. But before I could run back to my car and escape with my dignity still intact, I was nudged through an open door and faced with not one but four curious stares. Travis stood in the middle with a large roll of yellow wiring wrapped securely around his arm from wrist to elbow. He appeared to be winding it in attempt to clean it up from the mess it formed on the floor.

  “Look what I found outside.” The man I now knew as Travis’ brother announces, only furthering my embarrassment. “She’s looking for you, Trav, and she brought you a little treat.”

  I look back at him just in time to catch his suggestive wink, and fight the urge to elbow him in the gut.

  “Is this the impossible woman you were mumbling about when you came to my place last night?”

  I glare at the guy before I shift my gaze toward Travis offering him a tilt of my head. Choose very wisely, I think as I wait for Travis to respond.

  “Shut up Tripp,” he tells his brother before dropping the wadded up mess to the floor and takes a step toward me. “You can get back to work now.”

  I don’t miss the look of curiosity his brother, Tripp, gives him just before stepping around me and leaving us alone.

  “Do I need to get a restraining order?”

  My eyes meet those baby blues once again and I fought the smile that covers my lips. He was throwing my own words back at me.

  “Sure,” I shrug, “may as well round out the active orders of protection to an even number.” He gives me a look I can’t quite make out. Fear maybe, or it could be interest, who knows. “Three always felt so off.”

  “Did you throw pillows at them too?” He calls my bluff. “Or maybe you went straight for the hard shit when it came to them because deep down you like me more.”

  I roll my eyes and he laughs.

  Lifting the coffee, I bring his attention to the cup and smirk. “Peace offering,” recalling his words from the night before. “I was a jerk, yo
u were being nice. This is me apologizing to you.”

  “Black?”

  “Yes,” I chuckle and it feels good to laugh. “I was advised to leave the cream and sugar I brought in the car.”

  Travis looks back over his shoulder toward his brother. Tripp, along with the three other men, watched us with eager eyes and I laugh again. People say women are nosy.

  “Let’s step outside. These gossip girls need to get back to work.”

  He leads me outside by pressing his palm to the small of my back and the contact alone soothes the nervous energy I’ve felt since I arrived here. Maybe being friends with Travis Donovan would be easier than I thought.

  Chapter 9

  Travis

  Away from prying eyes and eager ears, I lead Hope from the building to her car. We both lean back on the hood, each holding a cup of coffee, and for a moment we are both silent.

  “Thanks for the coffee,” I say as I lift it to my lips and take a sip.

  “Thanks for the flower.”

  I look over at her and find her staring down at her hands that are wrapped around her cup tightly. She looks lost in thought.

  I left her house night feeling unsettled, and had ever since. But this right here, her attempt at gaining some type of peace between us was big. I could tell.

  “It seemed to upset you last night.” I knew there was a story there, some history maybe.

  “It was a mixture of a lot of things, seeing that flower again.”

  “Again?” I didn't expect her to give me details, but I figured why not try. When she began to speak, I found myself surprised.

  “A friend of mine used to give me a flower all the time. It was a little joke between us, because we were driving along the highway once when I spotted them alongside the road. He used to say that I wasn’t like any other girl because a stray wildflower made me happier than a dozen roses would.” She shrugs and when she looks up at me, I see the sheen in her eyes the memory triggered. “He was right, because to me they were beautiful and free. Not grown in some greenhouse by Miracle Gro, or any other enhancement. They were untamed.”

  The fire I normally found in her eyes every time I saw her had been replaced with an appreciation. One that was both inspiring and beautiful in itself.

  “Plus they’re purple, and purple is the best color.” A smile stretches out over her lips. I find that yes, I was quite intrigued with her normal scowl, but her smile was so much better.

  “So,” I say, attempting to penetrate the silence that had taken over. “That offer still stands of dinner or a lunch.” I was well aware of how hopeful I sounded. I was grabbing at straws here because this was the first time she remained near me without the urge to punch me. I wasn't completely oblivious that she had an aggressive side to her I seemed to provoke.

  “I don’t know.”

  I push off the hood and turn to face her as her eyes connect with mine. “Before you decide to brush me off, let me just say that I’m asking as one friend to another. This,” I motion between the two of us, “is nice. So much better than our normal banter. Though I won’t deny, I like that, too.”

  “Oh you like me throwing pillows at you and calling you an ass.” I notice the reaction on her face the moment she says the word ‘ass’. Even though I try to keep from smiling, I can’t stop it. “Yeah, yeah, I said it, and in no way am I referring to your actual ass.”

  “Admit it though, you were checking it out.”

  She laughs, hanging her head to hide her blush. I wait, because this side of her, that relaxed fun loving side, was one I’d like to see more of.

  “You’re impossible.” I can hear the mumbled words through her laughter.

  “Maybe, but it’s true.”

  I wait for her laughter to subside, and when she lifted her head and her pretty green eyes lock with my own she shrugs. “Fine, you, Travis Donovan, have a nice ass.”

  A spark of heat rushes through me because I’ll admit it, Hope having even the slightest interest in me excited me. I was a born flirt, it was something I couldn't control even if I wanted to. Sometimes it got me in trouble, example being when Hope and I first met. But the now, the place we were currently at, it just felt right.

  Leaning in I place my free hand on the side of the hood next to her and watch her eyes widen in surprise. “You have a nice ass, too.” Her deep intake of breath was satisfying. “Yes, I may have stolen my own glance a time or two.”

  “Impossible,” she whispers. “After you’ve been given me grief over catching me, you’ve been doing it, too.”

  It was my turn to shrug it off as no big deal.

  “Have lunch with me.” I’m aware it doesn't come out as a question. “Simple, with no expectations. Just two people sharing a meal.”

  She hesitates, I see it clearly. There is a battle going on in her mind and I want to ease it, but I wait. She has to want this, too, or what is the point. I’m not saying she and I will fall for one another and from there everything will be perfect. But maybe we can develop a friendship at least.

  Who am I kidding? I wanted Hope Larsen, but I had to be a patient man.

  “Lunch,” she says with a nod. “Saturday at one, do you like pizza?”

  “Love pizza.”

  “Romano’s?”

  “Good choice.” I love Romano’s.

  I step back allowing her to slide off the hood and move around to her driver’s door. Before she can open it, I shift myself forward to do it for her, which in turn gains a smile.

  Once she is safely tucked inside, I crouch down and look through the open window. “Would you like me to pick you up?” She shakes her head as she starts her car. “Just what I thought you’d say.”

  I look to the cup holder near the gear shift she now held onto and smile when I see the purple flower I left on her car last night. “One o’clock,” I look back at her and find she is watching me closely.“Saturday.”

  With a nod of her head I stand up and move back just before she begins to back up. I remain in that very spot watching as she drives through the parking lot and then pulls out onto Midland. Almost instantly my mind begins to race with ideas of just how to break down Hope’s walls. One way or another, she and I would be a part of each other’s lives. Friends or more, but I prefer more.

  “A sports jacket for pizza?” Tripp continued to torment me. “You do realize it’s only Romano’s?”

  “Leave him alone,” Missy moves forward and nudges her husband out of the way. “He looks handsome.” I look over her shoulder and give my brother a look that I hope shouted, Take that, asshole.

  “He looks like a joker,” he adds before moving toward the couch.

  “Maybe I should go with your look and choose sweatpants instead.” Tripp glares before he looks down at his lap and a perplexed look covers his face. I didn't remember the last time I came over and found him wearing something other than sweats.

  “Missy loves my look, don’t ya, babe?”

  My sister in law stood facing me and I caught the roll of her eyes. “Yeah, babe, so sexy.”

  “See,” he states almost proudly.

  “Don’t let him ruffle your feathers, Travis. You look very nice,” Missy said where only she and I can hear. “Be sweet, and listen to her when she talks.”

  “This isn’t my first date, Miss.” She was treating me like I’m sixteen and going out for the very first time.

  “I’m well aware of ’your dating activities.” She gives me a knowing look. “But this is the first time you actually want more than just one night with said girl. This isn't your typical date, Travis. I can tell.”

  I nod in understanding because her words were true. I’m a twenty-nine year old man with needs, so sue me. I’ve had my fair share of hook-ups, and though I’ve seen a few girls more than once, it was never meant to be more than a night to ease my urges and hers. This felt different, it felt real.

  “Did you get her flowers?” I pull myself out of my own thoughts and offer her a nod. “Roses
? Or did you go for an arrangement of assorted?”

  “You ever been out on I-670 and notice the purple wildflowers that line up just outside the city?” She wrinkles up her brows but slowly nods. “I picked a bouquet of those and tied them together with a bright purple bow. I picked the ribbon up at the craft store earlier today.”

  “Trav.” She sounded sympathetic.

  “I know what you’re thinking, but I can assure you, without a doubt, those flowers mean a hell of a lot more to her than any arrangement I could buy at the florist.” She still looks at me unconvinced. “They have a sentimental value to her, a deep meaning. Trust me, if she wants any flower given to her at all, it’s those.”

  “You sound like you’ve put a lot of thought into this.”

  “It was an accident really.” I never planned to bring back old memories from her loss. Never had I ever guessed that something so random would touch something inside her so deep. “I was trying to backtrack and make up for the hassle I’d been giving her. After you told me exactly who she was the other day, I wanted to offer a simple peace offering. I stopped on the way to her place and picked one of those flowers. Later she told me that Walker used to give her those same flowers over the years they were friends.”

  Missy’s eyes widen a bit as her head tilts to the side. “Everything happens for a reason.” She whispers the words so low, but I hear them. “Maybe it was the universe’s way of telling both you and her that you needed to be a part of one another life.”

  I didn't believe in all that crazy stuff. Fate, destiny, ya know the ‘meant to happen’ kinda stuff. But just this once my mind went there. What if?

  I stood outside Romano’s feeling more nervous than I ever had before. I continued to second guess my choice of clothing as I smoothed my hands over my jacket. Maybe it was too dressy, but I just wanted to look good for her.

  I was seconds away from calling Tripp and telling him to bring me a t-shirt when the sound of her voice startles me from my thoughts.

  “You clean up nice, Mr. Donovan.”

  I had every intention of firing back with something witty, but felt like I’d been hit hard by a wall of gorgeous once my gaze lands on her.