Crowned with Guilt (Remember the Reaper Book 1)

by S. K. Rose

Rocking back and forth in his arms I grin up at him, with a gasp, he dips me back. I hang upside down for a moment, the tips of my hair touching the floor before I’m vaulted up right. Wrapping my arms around his neck, his hands slide to my hips as our bodies move in perfect sync. My shining excitement is reflected in his eyes.

  The song ends, but we don’t.

  The flood of bodies returns and the song is replaced with a more upbeat one. My hands go in the air and his fly to my waist, closing any gap between us. I press my body against his as I move my hips, and with a soft growl, his grip tightens.

  Taking only a few breaks to catch our breath and hydrate, we dance until the gym lights dim and we’re physically kicked out as the Spring Fling, and the best night of my life, comes to an end.

  Chapter 45

  ─────

  Tessa

  Gasping and laughing as the cool air hits us, we head to the school parking lot. I’m riding a strange high, with a huge smile on my face that radiates from my heart. Once we’re loaded into the car, Chase and Beth begin their verbal assault.

  “Oh, my God, Tessa! I can’t believe you danced! All night, and not even once with me! I’m so mad slash proud of you bitch.” I wince and shoot Beth an apologetic smile.

  “Bro, you’ve got some moves! And hot damn, Reap, they played your song. You should have seen Lilah’s face. She went from laughing at you to almost crying when she saw how hot and heavy you guys were on the dance floor. She was fuckin’ hyperventilating. Hold on, I took a pic on my phone.”

  “Chase, focus on driving, please, I’ll look later, I promise.” He rolls his eyes but puts his phone back down. “Wait, where are you even taking us?” I ask.

  He looks back to flash me a look that says duh. “The after party at the pier, obviously.” He shakes his head at us and returns his gaze to the road. Looking over to Andrew he simply shrugs and grins back.

  The party is already in full swing when we arrive. Drunk teenagers can be spotted in any given direction. The dock is strung up with lights and music blares from a couple of oversized speakers where more of my classmates are dancing. The fishing shack’s counter, usually littered with different types of bait, now has three kegs and a stack of red Solo cups propped on it. One of our classmates must have keys since there’s a pair of skimpy panties dangling from the doorknob.

  I make a beeline to the bonfire that is roaring nearby. It’s freezing out and I intend to soak up as much warmth as possible. Plopping down on one of the giant logs, I hold my hands out toward the licking flames and observe the faces around me. There’s a couple doing some heavy kissing directly across from me, and to my left is the “cool crowd”—buff jocks, beautiful cheerleaders and what not, all laughing and drinking. Lilah and her cronies are in the mix, but thankfully haven’t spotted me, yet. A guy in a letterman jacket I don’t recognize comes over and slaps a beer in my hand, giving me a wink and a drunk once-over before returning to his buddies.

  I immediately pour it into the grass as I glare at the back of his head.

  I don’t remember asking for beer with a dash of roofies, but thanks anyway, dickweed.

  Laughter to my right startles me out of my thoughts. “I think he was just trying to be nice.” Beth sits on the log next to me with her own cup of booze in hand.

  “Since when do people think it’s okay to just come up to me now?” I grumble, still glaring at the jock.

  Chase stands up on the log next to Beth making it wobble beneath us. “They notice you have friends now, Reap, and that makes you much less scawry. Just the friendly school reaper! Come one! Come all! Only five bucks to pet her!” He pretends to twist up a large imaginary mustache and flails his arms to mimic a circus ringleader.

  Without any warning the log is jerked back, and us with it. Beth and I straighten quickly, but Chase’s hands wave frantically as he tries to steady himself. With a yelp he falls backward and into the lumpy ground. At the other end of the log, Andrew stands with his foot propped up, and his mouth twisted into an evil grin. Beth and I burst into laughter, the herd of school royalty next to us joining in.

  Chase lies sprawled on the grass, his only response to our laughter is a middle finger waving at us from the ground.

  Andrew moves to sit on my left and it hits me how much everything really has changed. I’m surrounded by people—friends even—and I’m smiling.

  I’m free.

  I have a home, daily meals, two best friends, and my Andrew, who just happens to be fucking alive. I know in my heart that it’s stupid and naïve to be happy, but I can’t help it. The darkness encasing my heart is challenged by something I didn’t realize I had—hope.

  I plant a chaste kiss on Andrew’s cheek, who gives me a surprised look that’s quickly replaced by his crooked grin. After brushing a strand of hair behind my ear, he pulls my face to his and returns my intimacy with an earth shattering kiss. Every nerve in my body roars to life and sets my world ablaze. When his tongue traces across my lower lip, it takes all my willpower not to crawl into his lap. When he finally breaks away, I’m left spinning and trying to catch my breath.

  “Would you like a drink?” His voice is rough as he too struggles to recover. I nod and watch him head back over to the fishing shack.

  “Did you have fu—” I stop when I realize I’m talking to myself, Blossom is no longer sitting on the other side of me. I guess she didn’t want to hang around to watch me violate her brother.

  Hearing a strange noise, I pivot to look behind me and spot a familiar head of pink hair. Beth and Chase are lip locked, hands flying everywhere as they roll around in the grass. Shaking my head with a smile, I turn back around and suppress a giggle. Tomorrow they’ll be piecing together some very interesting, if not hazy, recollections of tonight.

  “Tessa, do you have a minute to talk?” Glancing up, I find Bailey from English looking tearful and nervous.

  God, I’ve seriously lost my edge.

  I suppose I owe her, considering she had a crush on Andrew—and I may or may not have seriously cock-blocked her.

  “What’s up?”

  “Can we talk, privately?” Her eyes dart nervously at the drunken school gossips nearby.

  “Yeah, lead the way.” I shrug and stand to follow her. She leads me to a sandy spot by the lake that’s just out of earshot from the party. It’s even colder next to the water, wrapping my arms around myself, I wish I’d remembered to bring a jacket.

  “You know you broke his heart.” Bailey stares out across the lake as her hair whips across her face from the wind.

  “I didn’t break Andrew’s heart. I’m here, aren't I?” I snap my response, not that it’s any of her business.

  “Not Andrew. I’m talking about Scott.” She seethes, her red-rimmed eyes glare at me with hatred. “Scott never had a bad thing to say about anyone. He volunteered to tutor after school on days he didn’t have practice, he put bullies in their place, and he was always there for me when I needed him.”

  “So, I pissed off your crush a million years ago? That’s why I’m standing here freezing my ass off?”

  “Scott is my brother, you vile bitch, and you didn’t just piss him off—you humiliated him in front of half the school. It wasn’t long before everyone heard about what happened. Girls would whisper about how pathetic he was, and even his own teammates wouldn’t let him live it down.” Her voice becomes a deadly whisper. “You humiliated him and he changed. He stopped tutoring, he quit the team, and started partying all the time. Worst of all, he stopped being my best friend.” I watch as she angrily wipes a tear away with the sleeve of her jacket.

  “I’m sorry.” It’s all I can say, and I truly am. The look on his face haunted my dreams for months after. I hated that I was cruel to someone whose only crime was having a crush on the wrong girl.

  “Don’t—just don’t. I don’t want your bullshit apology. You were a bitch then and part of me gets it. I know shit went down with your parents, and you were angry at the world, blah b
lah blah.” She kicks at a pebble until it plops into the water.

  “Then why am I here, Bailey?” I turn to look at her now. I don’t want to be the horrible person I was, if I can make amends, so be it, but I’m getting tired of the shitty guilt trip and I’m ready to return to the warmth of the bonfire.

  “Because it would seem that you’re just as much of a bitch as ever, and you deserve to be punished.” Her tone is even but clipped. “I really liked Andrew, he was sweet and helpful, but it became painfully obvious that he only had eyes for you the day we exchanged poems in class.” I circle my finger in a motion prompting her to get on with it. “It was obvious that you used him and threw him away. I watched as he tried to talk to you every day last week and you brushed him off like he was nothing. I was so happy when he finally noticed me yesterday.” She takes a deep breath before continuing, “I had just stepped inside the classroom when I saw Andrew being yanked outside by his sister. I stayed by the door just long enough to hear him admit to using me to make you jealous.”

  Her tears have stopped, but she’s noticeably shaking—from the cold or anger, I don’t know. “It all comes back to you, Reaper. The beautiful, angry girl with a chip on her shoulder who does whatever the hell she pleases with no consequences. That’s why I really didn’t feel guilty about this at all.”

  “Bailey, what are you talking about?” Anxiety coils its way around my heart as I try to keep my fear in check.

  “Nothing, really, just sat here and told you my sob story. Talked your ear off haven’t I?” She laughs, but her eyes remain cold, and a vicious smile appears on her lips.

  “Bailey. . . ” I try to calm myself with a deep breath.

  Don’t knock her out, don’t knock her out. Be the better person.

  “Andrew is pretty drunk tonight, huh? Now that I’ve distracted you long enough, I wonder what him and that blonde girl who just took him into the woods have been up to all this time, don’t you?” She lets out a cruel laugh.

  Flipping around, I look in the direction Andrew was last in, but he’s nowhere to be seen. Neither are Beth or Chase for that matter.

  “Tick-tock, Tessa, you better go see what your man is up to. You deserve each other!” she yells after me as I walk away.

  “Hey, did you see where Andrew went?” I ask a kid standing next to the kegs.

  “Uhhh, oh yeah. Some hot blonde chick took him into the woods over there, lucky bastard.” He takes a swig of his beer and turns back to his friend.

  I stomp toward the woods in a fury.

  He wouldn’t do that to me, would he? No, not Andrew. Calm down and think.

  Something’s not right.

  I head in the direction he pointed and spot a pathway leading deeper into the forest. I see light not far up ahead and begin to run, not caring how desperate I might look.

  It doesn’t take me long to find the source of the light. A kerosene lamp flickers to reveal a couple of familiar faces. The first is Natalie, who must be the “hot blonde”, she’s an Oasis waitress I hardly know. Beside her is Ace’s most trusted bouncer, who goes by the nickname “Tex”, due to the giant tattoo of the state on his meaty bicep.

  “Told ya she’d get here right quick, Nat, and you was fixin’ tah take off and miss it.” He’s lived in Oregon going on seven years, but his Texan drawl is still as thick as ever. Natalie snaps something in response, but I can only stare at Tex’s sausage fingers that drip with red.

  Fingers snap in front of my field of vision.

  “Bitch, are you seriously ignoring me? No wonder you pissed off Ace. Zero manners.” Natalie snaps the gum in her mouth as she looks at me incredulously.

  “What did you do with Andrew?” My teeth grit painfully.

  “Darlin’, I always liked you, and I ain’t sure whatcha did to piss off the boss, but I am sad ta have ta do this.” With his drawl, “liked” sounds more like lahked.

  “Ugh, whatever she’s like twelve. What made her so special anyway?” Natalie scoffs and rolls her eyes, which is the last thing I see before something rushes toward my face and everything goes dark.

  Chapter 46

  ─────

  Tessa

  Sitting up quickly causes pain to flare behind my eyes. I don’t know how long I’ve been out, but it doesn’t matter. I can barely see out of one of my eyes, and reaching up, I feel the skin around it is sticky and swollen. With only the flicker of the lamp as my source of light, I look around until I see movement near a tree. There’s a black dress shoe jerking violently and a stone drops in my stomach.

  I crawl toward him on my elbows in a panicked frenzy. A choking sound of despair escapes when I reach his side. Lying in the dirt, Andrew’s eyes roll to the back of his head as he seizes. Red foam trickles out the side of his mouth and an overwhelming surge of déjà vu threatens to suffocate me.

  Even if I start screaming no one will hear me over the pounding music of the party. I’m on my own. Reaching out to steady him, I feel something wet on his side. Retrieving my trembling hand I stare at it in horror. There’s so much blood.

  So much blood.

  The sound of Andrew choking jolts me out of my stupor, with a furious determination I reach out to him again. Using the last of my faltering strength, I manage to turn him onto his side. More foam and saliva flies out of his mouth, but the awful choking sound stops and I pray that his airway stays clear. Laying my cheek on his shoulder, I pray to whatever gods will listen for him to stop seizing.

  “I’m so sorry, Andrew. Oh, God, please don’t die again! Please! I’m so sorry.” Tears blur my vision and splatter into the dirt.

  For the second time in my life, I cry over the broken body of the prince who stole my heart.

  And then it’s over, all movement comes to a stop. Releasing him flat on the ground, I listen, but only hear the thundering sound of my own heart. Closing my eyes, I lay my head on his chest and will my body to calm down. After a few seconds, I feel his slow heartbeat and hear his ragged breathing. A choked sob of relief rushes out of me.

  “Oh God, not again.”

  Sitting up, I see Beth with a hand covering her mouth, and Chase close behind her. Running forward, she falls to the other side of him, her eyes flying over his body to assess each wound and bruise.

  Her eyes don’t meet mine. “Chase call nine-one-one, now!” With shaking hands, she runs her fingers through her hair and whispers soothing words to her brother.

  God, my phone! My phone is in my bra. Why didn’t I call for help?

  “Beth—” When her eyes meet mine, the words die on my lips.

  “Leave,” she snarls through clenched teeth.

  “I can’t leave him, Beth. I’m so—”

  “Leave!” she screams it this time, tears and makeup streaming down her face.

  Nodding, I slowly get up, wincing from the movement that flares newfound pain. Clutching my throbbing side, I give one last look to Andrew before turning away.

  One foot staggers in front of the other as reality around me fades away.

  I hear my name being called. I’m not sure it’s real, but I have to keep moving forward. I must get far away.

  Something clutches my arm and I’m forced to a stop. I try to shake it off, but the grip is firm and unrelenting. With a wail at being slowed, I whip around to face the cause.

  “Tessa, what the fuck happened?” Chase’s knitted eyebrows and frown swim in and out of focus. “Jesus, your eye. Are you okay?” He raises a hand to my face, but I swat it away and push forward once more.

  “Stop, just hold on a minute. Where are you going?”

  “Away, as far away as I can get. Now get out of my fucking way.” My voice sounds distant.

  “You need to go to the hospital and get that eye looked at—and what about Drew? Look, Beth is pissed, but this can’t be your fault—”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. It is my fault so stop talking about shit you don’t understand and fuck off!” I rip my arm from his grasp, finally graced
with my freedom.

  A strangled noise comes from my throat when I find myself blocked once more.

  “My car has been packed to go for weeks.”

  “What?” I stop trying to edge around him and listen.

  “C’mon, you see what my piece of shit dad does to me. You aren’t the only one who needs an out.”

  “What about Beth?” I ask slowly.

  “What about her? She only kissed me tonight because she was trashed, Reap. Even if she remembered, she’d deny it ever happened. She’s told me a million times she’s not interested.” He lets out a frustrated breath and I can tell he’s been in more pain than he’s let on.

  “You were just going to leave us?” I admonish.

  “Are you really going to scold me right now? When you’re literally in the process of running away from your boyfriend and best friend? Seriously?” We both jump when a siren wails in the distance.

  “How far away is your car?”

  “Just down the street. I let my brother Sam bring it to the party, but he can get a ride from his girlfriend.”

  “Okay then, let’s get the fuck out of here.” Before I can change my mind.

  Once clear of the trees, I see Bailey leaning up against a car, laughing at something her friend is saying. With a deep breath I keep my eyes trained on the back of Chase’s head as we cut across the parking lot.

  “Tessa! How was the show, hun?” she mocks, having spotted me.

  And just like that, the frayed string holding me sane snaps. I change direction and watch her smile fall as she gets a better look at my ripped dress and thrashed face.

  “Fuck,” is all I hear Chase mutter as he runs to catch up.

  “Oh my God, you crazy bitch, stop! Help!” The friend screams at me as I squeeze my fingers around Bailey’s soft throat.

  I’m forcefully removed and thrown to the ground. I spit a wad of blood in the dirt and make a wobbly attempt to get back to my feet for round two.

  “No! Bad, Reap!” Chase standing over me wags his finger. I growl up at him but he growls right back—which just doesn’t happen. I blink up in frustration.