Lewd Saga Omnibus: 7 Book Collection: An Epic Digital Fantasy Adventure of Lust, Love and War

by Eden Redd

  Skeletons crawled over the castle walls to the battlements. Rekt swung his hammer hard, sending a few skeletons to pieces. Warhammer glowing, he swung again and again but the undead continued to climb up. A swarm moved around him as muscles bulged and hammer struck home but it was proving too much. Blades sliced across thick skin and the orc watched his hit points drain little by little.

  A skeleton moved with blade held high. Rekt turned to see it before it crumbled to a pile of bones before him, behind it stood Ilsa with a glowing mace in hand. The orc and cleric moved so their backs were against each other. The undead crawled over the side and ghosts floated closer.

  “Damn you Renner,” the orc and cleric said in unison before striking out at the incoming undead horde.

  ***

  Renner and Vass backed up, uncertainty swirling in their bellies. The fat form of Shallor twisted and blurred as it grew larger with each passing second. Scales burst from rubbery skin. Eyes blazed red, their color bleeding into the dragon’s scales. A tail burst out from behind while his neck elongated. Snout and teeth emerged from his changing face. The transformation was mesmerizing but it didn’t stop the two rogues and fairy to back up to a pillar.

  “Gylda, I need you to open those doors while Vass and I keep our friend here busy,” Renner said calmly as his heart thumped in his chest.

  Gylda’s eyebrows wrinkled in dismay, “I can’t do it. My luck works with my master. If I try to do it, it will purely be on my skill and I haven’t opened a rune combination door before.”

  Renner turned his head and stared deeply into Gylda’s golden eyes, “Don’t let that stop you. If we are going to get out of here, you have to try for all three of us. I believe in you and for the last time, I’m not your master! I’m your partner and as a partner, if we are going to survive this then you have to step up!”

  The golden fairy gazed at Renner as his aura of confidence warmed her tiny heart. With a strong nod, she turned tail and bolted toward the main doors to the dragon’s hearth chamber. In a blink of an eye, she blazed like a crazy light beam, touching runes in different combinations. The doors glowed red with each try but she kept at it. Renner watched her move like a little comet, bouncing from rune to rune.

  The rogue turned his smirk to Vass who stood with a dagger in each hand, “We can’t kill him.”

  Vass eyed the dragon as his form reached its full height, “Then how are we going to stop him? Seducing him doesn’t seem to be an option.”

  “Use the sleep poison on your weapons and try to hit his soft spots,” Renner said as he hefted his crossbow.

  “I don’t know if this is your first time fighting a dragon but they don’t have any soft spots!” Vass said with an edge.

  Tiny gouts of flames spilled from the dragon’s flared nostrils. Eyes slowly opened, ember irises staring at the pillar where Renner and Vass stood. Leathery wings unfolded as blood red scales rippled along the dragon’s serpentine body. The dragon shifted on all fours while its tail whipped around. Renner couldn’t help but stare at the creature of legend. He had seen them in the distance and in their human form but to see one in their true form this close, it made his inner geek jump for joy. He had no idea he would ever fight one. Now that the battle was to take place, he wondered if he would ever ride one.

  “Renner, wake up!” Vass said and kicked some gold coins at the rogue’s shins.

  The rogue shook his head, “Sorry, I was geeking out.”

  “We need a plan or the job is a failure!” Vass shouted.

  “The job is already a failure,” said the deep voice of Shallor. “The game is fun but once I slay you, my books will return to me. Pity you did not take my offer.”

  “Your offer was bad for business,” Renner shouted as he took a step back.

  Shallor let out a deep chuckle, “You seem to forget that I have already amassed my wealth. To tell me what is and isn’t bad for business is moronic. Now you will be burned to death with nothing to show for it. You should have taken the deal.”

  “Business, just like my destiny, is for me to choose. Remember that when we escape and you’re crying about losing your books!” Renner taunted.

  The dragon’s eyes closed and his chuckle vibrated along the mounds of gold, “Then we shall have to see how this plays out.”

  “Damn straight! You won’t be able to stop us!” Renner shouted and glanced over to Vass.

  The elven rogue was nowhere to be seen.

  Renner raised an eyebrow, “Ummm…right Vass?”

  Shallor let out such a laugh, flames poured from his nose. “It looks like your fellow rogue has deserted you.”

  “She’s just going through with the plan,” Renner shouted with subdued confidence.

  The dragon let out another hearty roar of laughter, “This is too much. Please, Vass, is it? I know you’re listening. I extend the same reward to you if you give back the book in your possession and Renner’s book. You will be rich and have a favor from me. Stop your fellow rogue and you will be the wealthiest elf north of the road.”

  Renner narrows his eyes, “She won’t do it.”

  Shallor gave a knowing scaly smirk, “Gold and power will change even the most honorable man or woman into slavering greedy beasts. I’m simply appealing to your true natures. Vass, if you’re still listening, do this for me and I will help you plunder great treasures all across Lukken.”

  “Fat chance!” Renner growled and pulled the trigger to his crossbow.

  The crossbow bolt blurred across the room and struck Shallor against his shoulder. Renner’s smile melted away as the bolt bounced off a thick scale and fell to the gold covered floor. Fingers moved with purpose as he reloaded.

  Shallor looked down at the bolt and then let out another hearty laugh, “You…you…..you can’t be serious! My gods, you have to be the worst thief in all of Lukken.”

  Renner hefted up his crossbow and aimed again. “You would think that,” Renner smirked as he pulled the trigger.

  Another bolt blurred across the room. Shallor lazily eyed it, not moving a muscle. The bolt struck his shoulder but this time, it surged on contact. The dragon’s eyes widened as the bolt exploded, sheets of ice emerged along his shoulder and down one of his scaly arms. Growling, Shallor opened his maw and a gout of flame burst forth. The ice covering his shoulder melted instantly.

  Renner’s smile returned but only for an instant. The dragon turned his serpentine head, a torrent of molten flames streaking across the gold covered floor and toward the rogue. Renner whipped away and threw his back against the thick pillar, flames blasting past his left and right. The heat was intense as he reloaded. The bolt slipped into the crossbow when something golden touched the edge of his vision. Glancing down, molten gold streamed around the pillar like a small river. The rogue bent his knees and launched himself into the air as the stream wrapped around the base of the pillar.

  Landing on his feet, the rogue nearly slipped on the loose gold coins. Boots mashed into mounds of gold as he tried to get some traction. The heavy breathing from the dragon filled the giant chamber. Renner managed to lean forward and burst into a full run as Shallor took in a deep breath. Heat bloomed as another torrent of flames streaked out. Renner threw himself into a slide, the gold underneath allowing his body to slide behind another pillar. Flames roared past, melting gold. The rogue kept moving as gold splashed by the spot he was a moment earlier.

  “Your weapons are pathetic! You can never beat me with such weak attacks. Give up or be burnt to a crisp!” Shallor roared.

  Renner threw his back against another pillar and peeked his head out, “This is your last chance! Surrender or I’ll have to tell everyone on Facebook that your parties suck!”

  Shallor raised a serpent eyebrow, “You speak in riddles, Renner Wulf. Our play time has come to an end.”

  Shallor took in another deep intake of air. Turning his snout toward the pillar where the rogue stood behind, eyes narrowed as his maw opened. Air shimmered by the dragon’s tai
l. The shimmering air leapt upward and landed on the dragon’s back. Shallor felt the small weight land on him but couldn’t hold back his breath attack. Flames burst forth, missing the pillar and melting coins into streams of gold. Shallor turned his head, eye looking down at a cloaked elf running gracefully up his armored spine with a dagger in each hand.

  Renner whirled around from the pillar and aimed at the dragon’s head. With a pull of the trigger, the bolt soared through the air. Vass stepped along Shallor’s spine just as he opened his maw again, this time to snap at her. The bolt struck the dragon in the back of his head and ice exploded. Shallor cried out as ice grew over his head, eyes, snout and mouth. Vass made a small jump and landed on his neck, legs curling around. A dagger point stabbed in between two large scales and the elf grunted as she tried to pry them apart.

  Shallor let out a screech as the elf hung on, driving the points of the dagger deeper. Renner reloaded and fired again. The bolt hit the dragon’s hand as it reached up to try and take hold of the elf. Ice cascaded over the serpentine hand. Shallor roared as he clenched his hand, shattering the ice. Vass drove the dagger inch by inch into the dragon’s neck. When it was half buried, the elf shouted as she used leverage to pry a thick scale off. A wet crunching sound floated into her pointed ears and with a “Pop” as thick scale fell to the gold covered floor. Shallor thrashed as the elf tried to stay on. The dagger she used to pry off the scale slipped from her hand but she quickly tossed the second dagger to her right hand and drove it down on the soft exposed tissue.

  Renner pumped his fist in the air as Shallor let out a painful roar, thrashing about. Vass uncurled her legs and was immediately thrown from the dragon’s neck. She crashed into the gold waiting below. Renner darted toward her, firing another bolt at the writhing dragon. Flames burst forth as Shallor clawed at his neck to remove the tiny dagger.

  Vass was too her feet, checking the fall damage as she began to run. Renner smiled as he ran toward her. For the space of an instant, their eyes met. A proud expression filled the human rogue. Wondrous excitement painted the elven rogue’s features as she ran to him. The same thought filled their minds, knowing that the sleep poison will have some effect on him, maybe enough to win this battle. A large thin scaly hand reached up, fingers curling around Vass’s body. Horror filled the rogue’s eyes as the fingers clamped hard around her body and lifted her up. Renner aimed as he ran and fired another bolt but it was too late.

  The dragon threw the elven rogue like a rag doll. Vass’s world spun as her body twisted uncontrollably. Renner leapt into the air, his crossbow falling away. The crossbow bolt slammed into Shallor’s neck, sending ice around the exposed flesh and the dagger still buried within. Renner’s hands were out, inches from Vass as she spiraled past. The rogue tried to will himself to catch her but he missed by a foot. Vass hurtled through the air until her body slammed into a pillar, bounced and crashed onto the gold covered floor.

  Renner hit the ground, turned and bolted toward his fellow rogue. He slid to her side, arms circling and lifting her up. Digital blood trickled from the side of her mouth as her body made small jerky movements.

  “My….hit points are draining……I have internal damage…” Vass managed and coughed up more blood.

  Renner’s hand went to his side pouch and pulled out a potion.

  Vass shook her head, “It won’t help…….broken bones need time to heal….I’ll only slow you down….”

  The rogue nodded grimly and looked down at the beautiful elf. Vass looked up, her movements less jerky and her eyes filled with light.

  Renner kept his soulful gaze as he brushed away a lock of black hair from Vass’s brow. “Call me when you resurrect so you can buy me lunch,” Renner smirked.

  Vass eyed him for a moment before her eyes slanted into rage, “You’re an asshole. I’m dying and you want to make plans for lunch?”

  Renner shrugged, “It’s not like I won’t see you again. I mean right now you suck for getting killed. Why do you suck so bad?”

  The elf rolled her eyes, “Take my daggers and finish this. I want my cut when it’s all over.”

  Vass pulled at her bandolier and Renner helped her pull it over her head.

  “I don’t know. You are dying,” Renner laughed as he put the bandolier of daggers over his head and across his chest.

  The elf pulled a book and shoved it into Renner’s chest, “Don’t fuck this up.”

  Renner took the book and stuffed it into his cloak, placing it in his inventory. “Got it, stay golden pony girl,” Renner smiled.

  Vass eyed him, “What does that even mean……” The elf trailed off as cracks of light filled her body and then shattered.

  Renner looked at the shards of Vass fall away like dying leaves. A moment later all the shards faded from sight. Shallor’s hand reached up. Claws shattered the ice at his neck. Two fingers took hold of the dagger in his neck and pulled it out, tossing it away. The dragon turned his head to see Renner standing up, a dagger in each hand. Shallor grinned but then the bulk of his body shifted and he fought to keep his balance.

  Renner took measured steps toward the slightly clumsy dragon, “That’s the sleep poison. Something of your size may need a few more cuts but right now you have movement penalties.”

  “You fool,” Shallor hissed. “I’ll burn this poison off in moments.”

  Renner nodded, “I better step up my game.”

  Shallor’s blood red scales shifted as he stared at the rogue. The dragon opened his maw and blasted out a stream of fiery death. Renner smirked as he darted forward. The rogue moved, each step controlled and planned. Knees bending, he launched into the air as the stream of fire melted gold around him. The rogue flipped like an acrobat and landed with the grace of a dancer. Shallor turned his elongated head, blasting out fire. Renner’s senses were dialed to eleven as he whipped behind pillars, always moving. The stream of fire weakened and when Shallor exhausted himself, the rogue changed direction and went in for the attack.

  Shallor took a deep breath as daggers twirled through the air. One and then two stabbed into the exposed chunk of flesh in his neck. Poison slipped in along the blade as the dragon smacked at his neck upwards, dislodging the two daggers. Renner was airborne again, daggers twirling from his hands as he turned his body like an Olympic diver. A dragon wing went up, smacking the daggers out of the air. Mouth open, he blasted out flames toward the small rogue.

  Renner dodged, curled into a ball, landed and rolled back onto his feet. The heat of the dragon flames inches from his body as he used yet another pillar for protection. Shallor exhausted his breath and when the flames stopped, dagger after dagger twirled through the air. Wings went up and neck craned away as daggers bounced off hardened scales. Renner laughed as he moved like a graceful mad man through the dragon’s horde.

  Shallor’s eyes narrowed as he noticed the rogue was keeping his distance. Bursting forward, the dragon slammed his shoulder into the stone pillar. Renner’s eyes went wide as he flipped away from falling boulders of stone. Shallor’s tail whipped out, slicing falling stone in half as Renner straightened his body in mid-flight above the tail strike. Limbs curling together, he hit the ground, rolled to his feet and turned his upper body. Two daggers spun out. A wing knocked away one but the other struck the exposed flesh. Shallor roared as he reached and pulled the dagger out. Serpent hand and wing reached out as a sudden bout of dizziness crawled into the dragon’s senses. Renner kept up the pace, running and dodging. The rogue glanced back to see the dragon’s eyes sag as his breathing labored.

  Renner spun around, a dagger in each hand and a smug smile on his lips. He marched toward the weakened dragon as it struggled to stay up. Shallor looked down, eyes closing and opening as the rogue stepped closer and closer.

  “I will have every dire mage in Lukken looking for you,” Shallor huffed.

  “I don’t doubt that but even I have friends in some pretty high places and to tell you the truth, I think they like me more than you,�
�� Renner said as he sheathed the daggers he was carrying.

  Shallor eyed the rogue as he scooped up his crossbow and pulled out a bolt from his cloak. Taking a deep breath, he watched as the rogue loaded his weapon and stopped walking.

  “You….would….strike me…down….?” Shallor said as small bursts of flames fell from his mouth.

  Renner lifted up his crossbow and pointed it at the ceiling, “No Lord Shallor, I expect you to sleep.”

  The dragon roared out a stream of fire as the crossbow bolt launched. Renner was moving as the stream of flames blasted past him. The bolt struck the ceiling and exploded. The entire room shook as the stone ceiling gave way. Shallor used every last bit of his strength, blasting at the moving thief. Chunks of stone and earth came crashing down, knocking off his aim and burying his body.

  Across the dragon’s chamber, Gylda zipped past another combination but this time, the door flashed an emerald green. She pumped her fist into the air when light glowed behind her. Turning around, the golden fairy darted to the side as a torrent of dragon flame blew past and struck the door. The fairy hovered in the air, her shoulders sagging as the dragon flame melted the door down to bent slag. Throwing her hands up, she turned and zipped further in, searching for her partner and friend.

  Renner walked with a swagger in his step and ash covering his cheeks. Behind him, rubble continued to fall, burying the dragon as he snored, eyes closed. Gylda zipped to Renner’s face and gave him a big kiss on the cheek. The rogue smiled as he walked along.

  “Let’s get upstairs. I think the war I started should be happening right on time,” Renner grinned.

  ***

  The castle was in chaos as Renner stepped onto the main floor. The lower levels were devoid of servants as it seemed most fled when the castle shook a few times. Guests ran off in a panic while some guards chased them to calm them down. Other guards took stations by broken windows, eyes alert and swords exposed. A skeleton attempted to crawl in and it was hacked to pieces in seconds. Gylda hovered along, a disapproving look in her eyes and arms crossed.