To Night Owl From Dogfish
Page 10
I’ll report back once we’ve landed + we get Junie + Raisin home from the kennel in Topanga.
More soon!
xo
Dogfish Devlin-Bloom
* * *
From: Avery Bloom
To: Bett Devlin
Subject: Disaster
I tried to call! You didn’t answer! Where are you? Something bad happened. Something really, really horrible.
Papa gets back from China, and right away things are weird. At first we just sit in the kitchen and talk about nothing. I know he’s mad about me going with Kristina to Seelocken, but he isn’t even bringing that up. He has other things on his mind. So finally he says, “I need to tell you something important.”
But then he can’t look at me.
He turns away and I see his left leg jiggling, which is a nervous thing he does. From the look on his face I know this is something really, truly terrible. So I start to cry. He hasn’t even said a word yet, and I’m already sobbing. Finally he says to me:
“Marlow and I have decided to give things a rest.”
I don’t get it at first. I say, “You mean you’re so tired from the jet lag and everything, that you both need to nap?”
So then he says no, that’s not what he means. He says the trip was very stressful, and he and your dad are very different, and they didn’t get along at all. Everything turned into an argument. He says they couldn’t stop fighting. They need for this relationship to be over. And he paces around the kitchen, and he even picks up a wooden spoon and starts waving it in the air.
I finally say, “What are you talking about? What are you telling me?”
He says, “We broke up. It’s over. Done.”
And then he leaves the room.
Now I can’t stop crying. I didn’t know I had so many tears inside me. I guess the body makes tears on an as-needed basis. I lay down on Marshmallow Fluff and pushed my face into the leather (which is bad because it’s not supposed to get wet, and also it’s hard to breathe), and I used up a whole travel pack of Kleenex with aloe.
Papa said your dad was giving you the bad news at the same time. I mean three hours earlier, where you are. Eastern Time and then Pacific Time. Just like when they both were going to give us the CIGI T-shirts, except of course this is a lot worse.
Did you get the same speech? Dad says he thought I’d be fine with the breakup. He thought I didn’t want our family to change. He doesn’t understand about you and me. That makes it even worse.
He’s in his room, so I called Kristina, who says I need to understand that he’s in pain right now and not thinking clearly. I don’t want to be a big narcissist, but I’m in horrible pain right now, too (but thinking clearly).
Does this mean our dads won’t ever be husbands? They won’t get married? There won’t be a wedding? Is it really possible we’ll never know what our lives would’ve been like all together as a family?
Tonight I’m going to have full-blown insomnia—not just my usual night owl thing—which can become a chronic condition if not properly treated.
Nothing was missing before in my life, but now it will be.
You will be.
Night Owl and Dogfish won’t ever be together. That just can’t be true.
* * *
From: Bett Devlin
To: Avery Bloom
Subject: Re: Disaster
What??? NO!!! We’re just getting started. Aren’t they ENGAGED + aren’t we PLANNING A WEDDING? Don’t you have that special wedding planner app? Didn’t he have a ring on his finger? Didn’t you order 3 different wedding books for research + put your friend’s judge dad on hold?
I need to hear what my dad says.
We’re going to the airport to get him in 4 hours. His flight was delayed so the “telling us both at the same time” thing didn’t work, if that was really their plan.
I’m not going to tell Gaga anything + I’m not going to cry, either, because right now we only have 1 side to this story.
I would Skype with you, but Gaga would hear + she’s already acting completely nuts realizing she’s actually going to be in a play in New York in the spring. She’s in the living room right now doing her new vocal exercises (it’s a lot of vowel sounds soft then loud over and over and over again). It’s making the dogs howl.
* * *
From: Evan Balakian
To: Avery Bloom
Re: Save the date request
Avery,
I was very touched to get your email last week, and I would be honored to marry your father and his new life partner. A formal (and legal) union of two people in a personal relationship is cause for great celebration. Congratulations!
I’m holding the first two weekends in October open for your family. Let me know as soon as you can which date is best and we will make it a firm booking.
All best to this new adventure!
Judge Evan
P.S. I’ll of course waive my standard fee for you guys! (Wondering, though, if your dad would have a brief look at some blueprints for our weekend house in Bedford. We are using an architect from McClain, Strothers, but he’s young and not that experienced. Maybe your dad could weigh in?)
* * *
From: Bett Devlin
To: Avery Bloom
Subject: THEY ARE BIG IDIOTS
Night Owl—
Dad is home.
It’s true. THEY BROKE UP.
Dad said that he + your dad LOVED each other, but traveling together made them not LIKE each other. They’re too different, he said.
Then he cried. He got in the front seat of his pickup truck in the parking lot at the airport + then he let Gaga drive + he cried. He NEVER LETS GAGA DRIVE + I’ve only seen him cry at movies + sad TV + when the Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples had a right to be married—but that last one was HAPPY CRYING.
That’s not how he cried today. And once he started crying Gaga lost it, too. She sucked her whole bottom lip into her mouth + she was swearing at the same time she was sobbing. I put my hands over my face so that I couldn’t see them + then out of nowhere, RAISIN BIT JUNIE.
This has NEVER happened before. Raisin LOVES Junie. I think all of us crying in a small place (Dad’s pickup truck) was a TRIGGER. We know she came from a negative environment.
Raisin had Junie’s only good ear + Dad had to dive into the back + try to pull them apart. I grabbed the truck door handle and opened it (which I shouldn’t have done because we were moving).
Gaga SCREAMED. But we didn’t crash. We hit the curb + an airport policewoman was there + she ordered Gaga out of the truck. We pulled Raisin + Junie apart + got them on the SIDEWALK where it was like nothing had happened except a whole chunk of dog ear was now missing. Maybe Raisin swallowed it. We don’t know.
Then, while we untangled the leashes, Raisin tried to lick Junie’s face.
I think it’s an OMEN. It means that your dad + my dad got into some kind of fight, but after they’re away from each other they’ll want to be together again.
We didn’t take Junie to the vet because the ear stopped bleeding with pressure (my sock, Dad’s fingers) + she doesn’t have much of a flap on the other side, so it almost looks like more of a match now.
I don’t get it: Why can’t the dads be different but also be together? Look at you + me. We’re really different but we get along great most of the time.
I feel very very very SAD. We’re all going to bed + Gaga said that the sun will come out tomorrow. But my dad’s eyes are heartbroken.
So are mine.
I never even met Sam Bloom.
I never even got to MEET YOUR PAPA.
xo
LOVE, Dogfish
* * *
From: Avery Bloom
To: Bett Devlin
Subject: Re: THEY ARE BIG IDI
OTS
I’m not supposed to check my phone or read email when I’m trying to sleep, because as I’ve told you it’s really bad sleep hygiene, and I have trouble falling asleep, and also falling back to sleep if I wake up in the night, which is something I do way more than is good for me. But all the rules are now broken. Even the one about run-on sentences.
Call me tomorrow the minute you wake up.
* * *
From: Bett Devlin
To: Kristina Allenberry
Subject: We are NOT going to be a FAMILY
Kristina—
Did you hear the news that we aren’t going to be a family? My dad + Avery’s dad broke up in China. They couldn’t get along.
We can’t blame the lost passports, or the broken-down motorcycle (even though none of that helped).
We can’t blame our dads, because we love them.
Also, they feel as bad as we do.
Maybe they feel worse.
But I feel pretty awful.
Only it’s not a contest to see who’s feeling it most.
Gaga says that our lives got bigger because of their love. It’s true. I went to CIGI + then to Seelocken + I drove a golf cart + a tractor on all 4 speeds. Avery + I swam in the lake (well, I swam + she got in the water, which is a big deal for her). We made not enough lemon spaghetti for everyone + slept in a yurt + tried to train owls using salami + it worked a little bit. Avery gave me a book + I read half of it.
Me + Gaga got to be together this summer + fly in seats 2A + 2B across the country, which means first class, with tickets paid for by the theater company.
We looked for shooting stars every night + sometimes we saw them.
No one can take that away because it HAPPENED.
It isn’t a contest to see who feels the worst.
There are no winners in that game.
I hope we can stay friends, even if we aren’t going to be family.
Love,
Bett Devlin, also known as Dogfish
* * *
From: Kristina Allenberry
To: Bett Devlin
Subject: Re: We are NOT going to be a FAMILY
Bett—
I still want you in my family no matter what happens with your dad and Sam. This summer gave me back my daughter, Avery. You set that in motion. And an object in motion is hard to stop, because it picks up speed as it goes along. Sweet Bett, all families have broken parts, so that makes us like everyone else, special in our own messy way.
Love from the mother of your chosen sister, which makes you another daughter of mine.
Your Kristina
* * *
From: Avery Bloom
To: Kristina Allenberry
cc: Bett Devlin
Subject: Us
Dear Kristina,
Bett forwarded me the email you sent her. I don’t see how it’s true that we can all be a family. My dad doesn’t even want me to talk to you.
I know we had this amazing summer. But people in a family (even if they don’t live together) spend time with each other. They share stuff. Up until now, you and I haven’t done that.
If you want to be a parent, you have to do a lot of things that aren’t as fun or interesting as what we did at Seelocken. Like you’d have to help me study my Latin and French vocabulary cards. Also, I get very worried before tests. And I need a lot of emotional support before anything with geometry.
There are other things. I do a lot of checking on the sell-by dates of foods. (Sell-by dates are very important. But they shouldn’t be confused with use-by dates.) Also, I can get very worried about dying. I watch too much of the Weather Channel when there’s a storm alert, even one that’s not in our area. I read books when I’m supposed to be asleep. I use Q-tip Safety Swabs every day in my ears, not just on the rim. I don’t like thunder. Escalators. Rope ladders. Dented cans. Paper lampshades that are too close to the lightbulbs, which can get hot very fast. Teflon pans where the protective surface has been scratched. (It causes cancer.) And, of course, I have that fear-of-drowning problem, which means I don’t like swimming pools or ponds, rivers, lakes, and oceans.
What I’m really asking is do you want to see me enough to put up with all of that? Would you live in New York City? And if you did, would that be in a hotel or an apartment?
Would the hotel have room service?
And a clearly marked fire exit?
Could I go there after school?
I know that you’re always traveling, but if you were in my life now, would there be a place for us to call home?
Love,
Avery
* * *
From: Sam Bloom
To: Marlow Devlin
Subject: Deconstruction
You and I decided it was best to not communicate, but some issues have come up. Avery has become very attached to Bett. Maybe “dependent” is a better word.
Avery also expresses a desire to see your mother, Betty (who she calls “Gaga”).
This summer was very traumatic for Avery. And also for me. What I’m trying to say is I want to move forward in a way that eases us back into our former lives. The girls were on Skype yesterday for over an hour. Not healthy.
I need your help untangling this mess and setting boundaries for the kids.
SB
* * *
From: Marlow Devlin
To: Sam Bloom
Subject: Re: Deconstruction
Sam, we’ve been saying that our passports were stolen. But we both know that YOU think it happened because I wasn’t paying attention and left my bag in the hotel. We both thought a trip to China would be great. But then I added in the motorcycle part because I’ve always wanted to travel that way. So now all our problems there were MY fault.
I make mistakes, Sam. I admit that. I guess you were one of them.
As far as our daughters are concerned, we forced them to meet. They had nothing in common except us. We told them that they were going to be sisters. Then we said they weren’t. They SHOULD be confused. They SHOULD have things to talk over. I’m not getting in the middle of that.
* * *
From: Sam Bloom
To: Marlow Devlin
Subject: RE: re: Deconstruction
Avery and Bett live 3,000 miles away from each other, and they will make other friends, and you and I will meet other people, too.
That’s how it works. Continuing contact isn’t good—for us or for them. I’m sorry you don’t get that.
To speed things up on my end, I’ve unfriended you on Facebook, plus I’ve stopped following you on Instagram, so feel free to post whatever you like. And I’ll take you out of my phone contacts—so no text messaging.
My life and my family have nothing to do anymore with your life and your family. I hope I’ve made this all clear.
* * *
From: Marlow Devlin
To: Sam Bloom
Subject: Re: re: re: Deconstruction
VERY.
* * *
From: Betty Devlin
To: Marlow Devlin
Subject: In NYC
Doug—
I arrived back in New York safe and sound. Kristina came to the airport to meet me, which made all the difference. We’re now looking for rental places near each other. We’ve got to be together in this city if I’m doing the play next spring, or I won’t be able to handle it.
Write me with an update when you get a chance. I’ve got my fingers crossed that you and Sam are finding a way to build a solid friendship!
Love and much more love,
Gaga
* * *
From: Bett Devlin
To: Betty Devlin
Subject: YOU’RE A CELEBRITY!!!!!!
Gaga—
I showed everyb
ody at school the announcement about your PLAY in the New York Times. Dad says we’ll frame it. I let my friends + also Mrs. Kleinsasser + Mr. Yip see the article + I posted it online so people will know you’re my grandma. We’re all really proud of you.
I want to say Dad is doing a lot better because he’s trying to act like he’s back to normal, but I can tell he’s just pretending.
If I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom he’s usually on the couch. Not asleep. Just sitting looking at stuff. One time he didn’t hear me come in + I saw he was staring at pictures from China on his iPad. It’s mostly him and Sam standing next to their motorcycles, with fields or mountains or cities in the background. In some of them their arms are around each other.
I’m in touch with Avery every day. We send text messages or we Skype + we try to write each other a real email at least once a week.
I miss her A LOT. I didn’t even know her before the summer + I didn’t want her for a friend (I had enough friends + she didn’t seem like friend material) + now I can’t imagine not having her as part of everything.
I don’t know if you heard that Kristina + Sam Bloom are fighting like wolverines (as you like to say). I tried to bring it up a few times with Dad, but he doesn’t want to know. That’s what he says: “I don’t want to know.” Then he waves his hand, like, stop talking about it right this second.
Our plan is to go to New York to see you in the play when it opens in March.
Love you, Gaga!
xo
Lil’ Betty
* * *