The Perfect Ten Boxed Set

by Dianna Love

“There is a killer among us.” Gerald’s voice echoed over Whispering Falls and it hung there like a thick fog.

  Oscar and Izzy whispered a few words between them before he walked over to me.

  “That’s terrible.” My nerves tingled, thinking about a murder. I couldn’t recall any murders in Locust Grove, and I remember Oscar telling me that there was zero crime here.

  “We need to talk.” He pulled my sleeve toward him. “You need to come to the station.”

  Constance and Patience ran up. “Do we need to collect the body?”

  “Yes, collect the body?” Patience repeated.

  “Please.” Oscar nodded. He pulled his notepad from the pocket of his uniform jacket and wrote some things down. “I will need an autopsy as well.”

  The twins didn’t hesitate. They folded their hands in front of them, and rushed back to the Two Sisters and A Funeral Home to retrieve the items they needed to get Ann’s body.

  “They are the coroners too?” I asked Oscar. I shudder to think of Patience repeating everything Constance said during a coroner’s “Y” cut.

  In silence, I followed him down to the street. The station was just a little beyond the shop and in walking distance. I glanced back toward the Green Machine where Mr. Prince Charming was cleaning himself on the roof of the El Camino.

  The police station was a little more modern than the other buildings. The concrete building had big, round windows that let in a lot of light. No matter where you stood in the office, you could see all the way down Main Street on both sides. I guess this was good for Oscar to be able to keep an eye out.

  “Everything is so new.” I ran my hand along the gold nameplate with Oscar’s title engraved on it. The paper sitting on the copier hadn’t even been taken out of the packaging. And each pen still had a perfect cap on it. No teeth marks.

  “This is serious, June.” A sudden chill hung on his words, making me stop and look at him. “There is something you need to know about Ann.”

  “Well, if you ask me,” I said and plopped down on the chair with wheels and slid across the room with my feet in the air, “she probably has pissed a lot of people off with her snide comments. She was rude. Not that I wanted her dead. Think about it, she treated me terrible and I had just met the woman. I wonder how she treated the people she really knew?”

  Oscar cleared his throat. “June.” His stern voice was cold.

  I dragged my feet across the floor to stop the chair. I swung around in his direction.

  “Why so serious?” I smiled, hoping he’d lighten up, but I was sorely wrong.

  The bracelet that I thought I’d lost dangled in the air from Oscar’s fingers.

  “Where did you find it?” Excited, I jumped to my feet, and the chair flung behind me, hitting the wall. I grabbed it out of his hands.

  “Oh!” Oscar tried to take it back, but I held onto it. “That was in Ann’s grasp. I had to pry her fingers apart to get it. Like she had been struggling with someone and she grabbed it off them. Now you have compromised the fingerprints.”

  “What?” I tried to sort through his words. Ann’s hands? I dropped the bracelet on the floor. I didn’t want anything to do with it. “How did Ann get it?”

  Having touched something that was in a dead person’s hand gave me the heebie-jeebies. Eww. . .I rubbed my hands down my shirt.

  “I was hoping you’d answer that for me.” His voice faded, losing its steely edge. It was a tone I knew well. The way he spoke about his other cases and suspects from Locust Grove was the same.

  “Are you accusing me of something?” I drew back and looked him square in the face. “Because if you are, you’d better spit it out, Oscar Park.”

  “No, but isn’t it evident that something is not right? You had words with her yesterday. She accused you of threatening her and then she shows up dead with your bracelet, that you lost, in her cold, dead hand?” Oscar marched back and forth rubbing his chin, and stared out the window.

  “Do you honestly think that I killed Ann?” I nervously laughed. If anyone knew me better than I knew myself, it was Oscar. There was no way he could think that I would harm a flea, much less Ann. Did he?

  “Great.” He stood still and leaned to the right to get a better view of the street. “It looks like some members of the council are coming this way.”

  Yep, my intuition told me this wasn’t going to be good. I would give anything to have a Ding Dong.

  Chapter Seven

  Izzy, Chandra, and Gerald hurried down the road. Izzy led the way as fast as her pointy-toed, ankle boots could carry her.

  “That’s the council?” I asked.

  “Mmmhmm.” Oscar nodded.

  “I wonder what they are saying.” I peered over Oscar’s shoulder, watching the three of them banter back and forth. It didn’t look like a pleasant conversation. Izzy wrung her hands, Gerald gritted his teeth and Chandra had a nervous smile.

  Gerald had his top hat off, and held it close to his chest while his other hand twirled one end of his mustache. Chandra tapped her blue nails together.

  “You should have seen this coming.” Izzy grumbled. She held the door to the police station. Gerald and Chandra kept their heads down as they passed her. She shut the door and locked it. “Ann said that the crystal ball went crazy when June looked at it.”

  “I don’t read the crystal ball. I read palms. Remember?” Chandra’s eye blinked rapidly.

  The three of them huddled without paying a bit of attention to us.

  Palm reading? I had come to grips with the Madame Torres globe, but palm reading?

  I reached in my black bag for my phone, trying to remember if I had stored Alexelrod Primrose’s number. Surely the new homeowners weren’t moved in yet. I could probably tell him that I wanted to move back to Locust Grove. Or better yet, move to the country like Oscar originally suggested.

  “No.” Izzy’s head popped up out of the huddle. Her blond locks swung in Chandra’s direction, catching Chandra in the eye.

  “Ouch!” Chandra went down holding her hand to her face. “You have got to let me cut that stuff off.”

  Izzy shooed Chandra and continued to focus on me. “No. You will stay here in Whispering Falls. We have an agreement. Besides, Alexelrod is one of us.”

  “What?” Oscar looked between the two of us. “June, are you planning on leaving?”

  “I. . .I. . .” I held my hands behind me as I backed up to get as far away from Izzy as I could. Truth be told, I was freaking out. How did Izzy know what I was thinking?

  Everyone stopped when someone tapped on the door.

  “Thank God, Mac is here.” Izzy flung the door open to Mr. McGurtle. “Please get in here. We have an issue.”

  “What’s he doing here?” I asked about Mac. Wasn’t it enough that I had to put up with this nosy man in Locust Grove?

  “Mr. McGurtle?” Oscar stood very still. His eyes narrowed. “What is going on here? I thought I was the law?”

  “You were hired by the village council.” Izzy circled her long, thin finger between Chandra, Mac, and Gerald. “We are the council.”

  “I. . .I. . .need a Ding Dong,” was the last thing I remember saying before the lights went out.

  “June? June, dear?”

  I felt a faint wind on my face that I wasn’t familiar with, but the rough tongue on my nose I knew. Without even trying to open my eyes, I reached out to pat Mr. Prince Charming. For a moment, I thought I was in my bed at the Locust Grove house until my senses rushed back to me and I realized the smell wasn’t different homeopathic ingredients, but the smell of sugary things.

  “I think she’s with us.” Someone patted my hand.

  Mewl, mewlllll, Mr. Prince Charming seemed to beg me to open my eyes.

  Chandra stood over me, fanning me with her long scarf, her turban sitting cock-eyed on her head. Mr. McGurtle sat next to me and patted my hand.

  “Mr. McGurtle, what are you doing here?” I tried to figure out where I was. The round, whit
e tablecloth tables in the room were decorated. Each had a three-tiered cup-cake stand and a tea set, as if there was going to be a party. “Where am I?”

  “I told Darla I would watch over you.” Mr. McGurtle smiled. He took a cup from Gerald. “Drink this.”

  Chandra put her hands on my back and helped lift me to a sitting position. Once sitting, I could see that we were in Gerald’s shop. He steeped a few more cups of tea. Izzy stood over him.

  “How did I get here?” I was more puzzled than nervous, like I was before. No one wanted to answer me. Oscar was nowhere to be found, which was odd. He’d never have left me in Locust Grove if this happened. “Where’s Oscar?”

  “Drink, dear.” Izzy gestured for Mac to give me the cup. “First, swirl it three times.”

  Mr. McGurtle got up and let Gerald sit down. Mr. Prince Charming continued to make figure eights around my ankles. As silly as it sounds, it was actually comforting for Mr. McGurtle to be there if Oscar couldn’t. Hopefully, Oscar was on the hunt for the real killer.

  Pweft, pweft. I spit some of the tea back in the cup. The loose leaves were stuck on the side of the tiny cup.

  “Oh, can you flip the cup over on the saucer?” Gerald held a small plate on his hand. Feeling a little leery, I did what I was told. The quicker I did what they asked, the quicker I could get out of here. “Now tap the cup three times.”

  Tap, tap, tap. The sound of my fingernail hitting the cup echoed throughout the shop.

  Gerald took the cup off the saucer and handed it to Chandra who nervously looked at it. He twirled the plate, and intently stared at it.

  “Gerald? What do you see?” Izzy stood over Gerald, casting a shadow over me. It was too dark to make out Izzy’s eyes.

  “What is going on?” I asked, looking into the cup that Gerald held. . .the cup I just drank out of. “What is happening?”

  “Give me a minute.” Gerald smacked Izzy’s hand away. “I see a wavy line in conjunction with an E.”

  “Oh, that’s good.” Chandra chuckled bringing her hands to her mouth. I’ve quickly figured out that when Chandra is nervous, she giggles. “An O.”

  “Shhh!” Izzy warning was quick and fast. “Keep going.”

  “There is an hourglass without a number. There is a lake with hands.” Everyone but me gasped.

  “I have nightmares where someone is being strangled by hands, but there is no face and I can’t see who is in the dream.” I leaned over and looked at the plate. There wasn’t anything on it but damp tea leaves. “Um. . .you need to strain your tea better.”

  Izzy pulled back, exposing the light. Fear, stark and vivid, glittered in her eye. “He reads tea leaves, dear.”

  “Don’t worry. I have a call out to Petunia Shrubwood.” Chandra put Izzy and Gerald at ease, but didn’t make me feel any better. They ignored me like I wasn’t even there.

  “Does anyone have a Ding Dong?” If I didn’t get a little comfort from somewhere, I was really going to kill someone. I could see my purse sitting on a different table. “Get my purse. There is one in there.”

  Mr. McGurtle scurried to get it and brought it back.

  “Who is Petunia Shrubwood?” I didn’t even bother savoring my chocolaty treat. I just stuffed it in. I needed instant gratification.

  There were so many questions floating around in my head that I couldn’t help but spurt them out.

  “Petunia will be able to tell us if Ann is back.” Chandra giggled.

  “Shh!” Izzy took Chandra aside and whispered something that I couldn’t understand. Chandra glanced back at me. She smiled.

  I’m getting out of here. I stood up.

  “Where are you going?” Gerald looked up from the cup, and then at Izzy. “Where is she going?”

  “I’m going home.” I grabbed my purse. “And by home, I mean Locust Grove.”

  There was no way I was going to stay another minute in this crazy town. These people were nuts.

  Before I could make it to the door, a woman walked in. Her brown hair was pulled up in a messy bun that overflowed. There were flowers stuck in the mess of locks.

  “I came as fast as I could.” She had a leash dangling from her wrist, but no dog on the other end. “I checked the kennels. I looked around the streets, the lake, but nothing. Not a sign of a new animal.”

  Mr. Prince Charming sniffed the leash and batted at it. He didn’t care that I was upset. Traitor.

  “That is not what I wanted to hear.” Izzy took Petunia into her arms. Petunia let out a little weep, the leash dragging along side of her. “Petunia runs Glorybee Pet Store, along with the SPCA and the grooming business.”

  I didn’t even know there was a pet store around here.

  “That means Ann was a bad soul.” Chandra’s snort was more of a sorrowful sigh. “Bad soul.”

  “Bad soul?” I looked towards Izzy. She seemed to be the glue that held Whispering Falls together. “Didn’t you see her dead body?”

  Were these people delusional? Ann was not coming back to life. I knew it and Oscar knew it. Where the hell was Oscar?

  “If she had had a good soul, I bet she’d be a pig.” Chandra drew back and covered her mouth like she had just let the cat out of the bag.

  “She might have looked like a pig, but she wasn’t cute and sweet like one.” Mr. McGurtle joined in on the conversation.

  “That’s enough.” Izzy tried to stop them from saying anymore.

  “She not only threatened to sue me, but she called me in front of the council and I’m on the council.” Chandra reminded everyone in the room. I took note because it was the first time I heard it. “The nerve of her thinking that the front step of our shop caused her to slip and hurt her back.”

  “That’s right, she sure did.” Petunia agreed. “I remember the two of you fighting about that right in front of your shop, and her holding on to her back like she had hurt it.”

  All of the sudden it was dead silence.

  “But I never wanted her dead,” Chandra nervously chuckled.

  Just for a moment, I looked around the room. Gerald was whispering in Petunia’s ear while she tried to cover her smile with her hand. Chandra traced the lines of her hand with her long, blue fingernail, and Mr. Prince Charming continued to do figure eights around my ankles. Oscar was still nowhere to be found.

  “What is going on?” I asked. The madness had to stop. I brushed my bangs to the side to make sure I had a good view of everyone.

  “Honey, if Ann was a good soul, she’d have come back as an animal.” Petunia stared at me with a baffled look on her face. “That’s my spiritual guidance. I’m the animal spiritualist.”

  “What is that?” I was beginning to see what Whispering Falls was all about.

  Palm reader, crystal ball, tea leaf reader, and now animal spiritualist? What have I gotten myself into?

  She shrugged like I knew what she was talking about, and I wasn’t going to stand around any longer. Izzy planted herself in front of the door alongside Mr. McGurtle.

  “June, can you please sit down?” Mr. McGurtle pulled a chair out at the closest tea table. “I told Darla I would look out for you.”

  “You’ve said that over and over, Mr. McGurtle and look where that got me.” I crossed my arms. “I’m going to jail for a murder I didn’t commit, and you let me move to a crazy town!”

  “Honey, we aren’t crazy.” Petunia shook her head back and forth, a few leaves falling out of the mess. “We are a spiritual village, as in psychics. And apparently you are too.”

  Everything around me spun around my head, and the room darkened to a dull grey. I gripped the chair to keep myself steady. Petunia’s words twisted in my head.

  Psychic village. . .everything went black.

  Chapter Eight

  “Does she do this a lot?” The giggle rang in my ears.

  I didn’t have to be fully conscious to know Chandra was standing next to me and that I had passed out. . . again. I was sort of hoping all of this had been a nightmare
and I was going to wake up in my bedroom in Locust Grove. After all, they had sprung the whole spiritual village thing on me without a warning.

  One minute I was flying by the seat of my pants mixing ingredients to sell at the flea market, and the next minute I was number one murder suspect AND a psychic rolled up in one June Heal.

  The rough tongue licking my nose reinforced that I was, in fact, in Whispering Falls. And it wasn’t a dream.

  “I’ve known her all my life and I’ve never seen her do this.” Oscar’s much welcomed voice rung in my ears. It was not a nightmare. “June, can you open your eyes?”

  There wasn’t a sweet smell to the room. It was more sour. Vitamin like. Slowly, I opened my eyes. Oscar sat on one side and Chandra on the other.

  “Hi sleepyhead.” Chandra patted my hand. Her turban reminded me that she was a palm reader.

  I tried to keep my thoughts free of any negative thoughts or mean-spirited words. Izzy had made it clear that she could read some of my thoughts.

  “Welcome home.” Oscar smiled as if nothing had happened.

  “Are you kidding me?” I whispered. “Firstly, someone is framing me for murder, and secondly, I find out that this is a psychic town. Third,” I held up three fingers, “Mr. McGurtle is involved. And I’m psychic. What’s next, you?”

  “We need to talk.” Izzy came out of a different room with another cup of whatever concoction they gave me at The Gathering Grove.

  “No thank you.” I pushed the cup aside. “I like my tea without the leaves and tons of sugar.”

  All the lights in the room came into focus. The little family room had all the comforts of home. The natural wood walls accented the vibrant orange fabric on the chairs and couches. I sat up, taking in my new home. I wanted to go back to my little Cape Cod in Locust Grove.

  I shook my head when the last few hours of memories crept back into my head. “Mr. Primrose is a psychic?” I recalled how strange it was that he would just show up at my house with an offer I couldn’t refuse. “Why do you want me to live here so badly? Was Darla. . .psychic?”

  Psychic or not, I didn’t want to be here anymore. Selling remedies at the flea market was looking pretty good right about now.