by Cara Colter
‘Yeah, I reckon they will too.’
Luke gazed at them both in astonishment.
‘Don’t sweat it, Dad.’
Jason clambered to his feet, and it hit Luke just how much his son had grown up in the last couple of years. ‘Do you have any idea how much you sounded like your mother just then?’
A grin spread across Jason’s face. ‘Yeah? Sweet! I’m going to exercise Dusty.’ With that, he pushed out through the French doors, whistling.
Luke swung back to Keira. ‘But Brenda and Alf…’ His heart went out to them. They’d lost their only child. Their grief and anger—he understood it only too well.
‘Jason has a right to ask the adults in his life to act in a reasonable manner.’
He closed his mouth. She was right.
‘And maybe this is the shake-up Brenda and Alf need. They won’t find any peace in the bitterness they keep perpetuating. They need to concern themselves with the living, not with the dead. It’s time they started remembering all the good things about Tammy, instead of focussing on her death and the gap she’s left behind.’
He couldn’t help but stare at her. She brushed a strand of hair back behind her ear and shrugged, not quite meeting his eye. ‘My gran told me all that when my mother died.’
His heart ached at how much she’d lost and how alone in the world she was. ‘Keira, your coming to Candlebark was a stroke of good fortune for Jason and I.’ He paused. ‘I just wish it could’ve been as good and as trouble-free for you.’
She glanced away. ‘My miscarriage had nothing to do with your farm, Luke, or the town of Gunnedah.’
There was something in the way she said it that suddenly froze his blood. Something hard and unrelenting in her voice that he hadn’t heard there before. He shot forward to the edge of his seat. ‘When you return to the city, Keira, you will be pursuing your IVF treatment, won’t you?’
She shrugged, but still didn’t look at him. ‘I kind of think the universe has spoken up on that subject, Luke, don’t you?’
His gut clenched. So did his hands. ‘You can’t give up on your dream of becoming a mother!’ The words burst from him.
She turned then, and met his gaze. ‘It’s too soon to think about it.’ Her eyes were dark and shadowed. ‘I don’t want to talk about it, Luke. Please—it’s Christmas.’
And he had promised her Christmas. He nodded, but his heart burned in protest.
She sagged. ‘Thank you. Now…’ She straightened again. ‘What gifts have you bought for Jason?’
‘I…uh…’ He shifted on his chair. ‘None.’
‘None!’ She stared at him, evidently scandalised. Then her face softened. ‘Let me guess, Tammy used to take care of that side of things?’
He nodded.
She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. ‘Didn’t you and your family exchange gifts when you were growing up?’
When he was very little he seemed to recall there’d been some gifts. After that…‘We had dreadful droughts out here during the eighties. There wasn’t much spare cash. Everything we had went back into the farm or to the bank.’
She sucked that bottom lip into her mouth again. He wished she’d stop doing that. As if she’d heard that thought rattling around in his head, she suddenly pursed them instead, and he could have groaned out loud—that wasn’t any better!
‘What about now?’
Was she asking him if he had enough money to buy Jason a Christmas present?
‘We’re a bit cash-poor until the harvest comes in. Once it does, though…’ They were on track to make a tidy profit this year. ‘I can afford a gift or two, if that’s what you’re asking.’ This should have occurred to him sooner. He scratched his head. What did one get a fourteen—nearly fifteen—year-old boy for Christmas these days? What had he wanted when he was fourteen?
Again, as if she could read his mind, she gestured towards the television unit. ‘I see that Jason has one of those game consoles.’ She paused and her eyes suddenly twinkled. ‘Unless that’s yours, of course?’
Two weeks ago he’d barely been able to crack a smile. Now she could have him grinning as easy as not.
Two weeks ago he’d have dreaded going into town. Today he hadn’t given it a second thought. He’d just wanted to buy Keira and Jason a Christmas tree.
Presents, though, had completely slipped his mind.
‘Well,’ she started, ‘I have it on very good authority that the hottest game this year has something to do with dragons…and the Gunnedah Games Shop has it in stock.’
He gazed at her in admiration. ‘You’re good.’
‘I am.’
She said it with such deadpan seriousness he burst out laughing. ‘Jason told you, huh?’
‘I believe you’re accusing me of cheating, Hillier. Indeed he did—but not quite in the way you think. When we walked past the Games Shop earlier today he hollered, “Sweet!” and pressed his face up against the window like a little boy.’
Her description somehow had Luke’s gut tightening and melting both at the same time.
‘And then there are the staple presents to fall back on, of course.’
‘Staple presents?’
She nodded. ‘There are the unisex chocolates and sweets. Then for men it’s socks and undies. Every male should get those on Christmas and birthdays. Women are convinced that men are incapable of buying them on their own, you see.’
He knew she was teasing him. ‘And what are the female equivalents?’
‘Body lotions and bath bombs. Men know that women like to smell good.’
She didn’t have any problem in that department—she smelt great! Still, he vowed then and there to get her some kind of body pamper-pack—vanilla-scented, of course.
The phone suddenly rang. Luke blinked. It took him a moment to realise what the sound was as it was such a rare event. And not a welcome one, he acknowledged as he hauled himself out of his chair. He’d have gladly idled away the rest of the afternoon chatting with Keira.
He ground his teeth together. All in all it was probably just as well they’d been interrupted.
‘Hello?’
A cool, professional female voice asked to speak to Keira. Wordlessly, he held the phone out towards his house guest.
Keira immediately leapt to her feet, and sent him a puzzled glance before taking the receiver. ‘Hello?’
Her frown cleared immediately when she realised who was on the other end, so Luke moved back to his chair and tried not to study her too closely, tried not to pay attention to her conversation.
‘Oh, so soon?’
He had about as much chance of that as he did of getting the entire harvest in this afternoon. His gaze narrowed in on the way she worried at her bottom lip.
‘No—no, of course not. If that’s your professional opinion then I’ll take your advice. You’re the expert.’ She swallowed. ‘I’m glad there’s so much interest.’
She didn’t look glad.
‘I just thought it would take a whole lot longer. This is…good news.’
Then why was she frowning?
‘I’ll pop in tomorrow. Yes—thanks, Julia.’
She replaced the receiver. She stood by the phone for a long moment, and then pasted on a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. All his muscles tensed. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘That was my new estate agent. She said there’s been a lot of interest in my great-aunt’s house.’
Of course there had. It was a great house.
‘She wants to take it to auction on the twenty-ninth of this month, while interest is running hot.’
He let out a low whistle.
‘Is it okay if I stay here till then?’
‘Not a problem at all. Stay until everything is settled.’ He paused. ‘It’s moving very fast.’
She nodded.
‘Are you sure you’re ready for this?’
She lifted her chin. ‘It’s what I came here to do.’
And when it was do
ne she would leave, and there would be no reason for her to ever return. He pressed his lips together and rose. ‘I better get onto the chores.’
‘Yes, of course.’
The scent of vanilla followed him all the way out to the barn.
Chapter Eleven
KEIRA woke early on Christmas morning. She tried to push her wakefulness away, and drag the mantle of sleep back over her, but as happened every Christmas morning the thrill of excitement threading through her made that impossible. As it had every Christmas morning for as long as she could remember.
Even those Christmases when she’d ached for her mother and grandmother.
Even this Christmas.
The light filtering beneath her curtains dimmed for a moment when she slid her hands over her stomach. She dragged in a breath, sat up, and threw back the covers. No moping today. Today was for Jason and Luke. She wanted them to experience just a little Christmas magic—to realise that they shouldn’t shut themselves off from the joy the day had to offer.
Shouldn’t shut themselves off from any of the joys the world had to offer.
She tiptoed through the house, careful not to wake anyone. She needn’t have bothered. She found Luke and Jason at the kitchen table, eating fruitcake.
‘Ooh, fruitcake for breakfast! Excellent idea. Merry Christmas, Luke. Merry Christmas, Jason.’
‘Merry Christmas, Keira.’ Luke leapt up to pour her a coffee. He looked so fresh and bright and eager her heart expanded.
‘Merry Christmas, Keira.’ Jason cut her a slice of fruitcake, his grin wide and his eyes thrilling with the same excitement that rippled through her.
It took her precisely half a cup of coffee and two generous bites of fruitcake before she realised Jason and Luke had no idea how to proceed with the day. A wave of tenderness engulfed her. Across in the living room, early-morning sun poured in at the windows and the French doors, winking off tinsel and angel chains and Christmas lanterns. She nodded. ‘It looks like fairyland in there.’
‘I’m going to be vacuuming tinsel up for the next six months,’ Luke grumbled.
But his eyes twinkled and Keira grinned at him. ‘Every time you come across another piece you’re going to remember what a marvellous Christmas you had,’ she countered. ‘C’mon.’ She stood. ‘I’ve never been able to show the least restraint on Christmas morning.’
She set a tray of mini-croissants into the oven, and then tripped into the living room. ‘It has to be present-opening time!’
At different stages on the previous day, unseen by the others, each of them had tiptoed into the living room to put presents beneath the Christmas tree. It made it seem as if those presents had appeared by magic, even though she knew they hadn’t. She clasped her hands beneath her chin. ‘It almost looks too pretty to disturb.’
Jason groaned.
‘That’s what my mother would say every year,’ she said with a laugh. ‘And I’d always point out that she’d said almost…and that I harboured no such scruple.’
She settled on the carpet in front of the tree and rifled through the presents. ‘Here—catch!’ She tossed identical packages to Luke and Jason.
They stared at the presents in awe, and then glanced around as if figuring what they should do next. Keira shuffled along a bit, and with shrugs they settled themselves on the floor to form an arc around the Christmas tree with her.
Keira. Jason. Luke.
She tried not to notice how perfect that seemed.
A bark of laughter shot out of Luke when he tore his present open to discover the chunky three-pack of sports socks and the outrageously loud satin boxers encased within.
Jason sniggered. ‘Going to model them?’ Then promptly closed his mouth when he realised that his was an identical gift.
Luke leant over and placed a brightly wrapped present in front of her. She tore the package open with more speed than grace—vanilla-scented shower gel, body lotion and bath bombs! She clapped her hands and suspected her grin threatened to take over her entire face. ‘You’ve got the hang of this, Hillier.’
‘My turn!’ Jason said.
His gift to her was a book of nonsense verse that made them all laugh. His gift to his father was a DVD box set of action movies, and an accompanying movie directory book.
‘I’ve been wanting to see this movie for ages!’ Luke selected one from the box and glanced at the television.
‘Later,’ Jason decreed, leaping up to put the Christmas CD on. When he opened his present from his father, though—the dragon game—he gazed longingly at his game console.
In unison, Keira and Luke said, ‘Later!’
Keira knew Christmas wasn’t about presents, but Luke and Jason hadn’t had presents in three years. And to see the happiness that the presents they’d selected could bring to someone’s face…and to be made to feel special by someone else’s carefully selected presents…that was priceless.
As unobtrusively as she could, she retrieved the croissants and made a fresh pot of coffee, and brought the tray through to the living room. She set her other presents in front of Luke and Jason.
‘Sweet!’ Jason immediately immersed himself in the Manga comics she’d selected for him.
Luke’s eyes darkened when he unwrapped his gift—a leather wallet with a snakeskin design. All she’d written on the tag was ‘My Hero!’
When his eyes met hers she knew he remembered that day down by the river as vividly as she did. ‘Merry Christmas, Luke.’ Her voice came out husky, but she found she could do absolutely nothing about that.
He leant across and placed the last remaining present in her lap. ‘Merry Christmas, Keira.’
She tore open the paper and laughed as she drew out a hot-pink sun hat, but nestled in its crown was a silk scarf in all the colours of the rainbow—orange bleeding into yellow and green, then violet and finally cobalt blue. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever owned anything so beautiful.’
She promptly settled the hat on her head, and wound the scarf around her throat. Jason pronounced it, ‘fully sweet’.
Luke leant over to finger the delicate silk. ‘It suits you.’
Her heart billowed and skipped.
They all stretched out—Jason on the floor, Luke in his armchair, her on the sofa—and munched croissants and drank coffee, becoming immersed in their books and comics. Occasionally one of them would read something out to the others.
Keira glanced surreptitiously around. This was perfect. It hit her then, with a clarity she could no longer ignore or deny—this was what she wanted. This was where she wanted to be for the rest of her life.
With one final glance at Luke, she closed her eyes and
prayed again for a Christmas miracle.
Luke started when Keira leapt up with a squeak. ‘It’s time we got the turkey on!’
Jason scrambled to his feet. ‘You said you’d show me what to do.’
‘I will indeed.’
Luke pushed out of his chair more slowly, found a piece of gift paper to use as a bookmark in his movie directory book, amazed at how much he’d lost himself in the ease of the morning.
Keira and Jason’s wide eyes and laughter during their exchange of gifts had told him that the whole Christmas thing was working. What he hadn’t expected was that it would work its magic on him too.
Keira was right. There was a magic to Christmas. He moved towards the kitchen for potato-peeling duty, determined that she wouldn’t be stuck with all the hard work. He couldn’t remember the last time his shoulders had swung so loose and free.
‘That’s all there is to it?’ Luke asked, stunned, when Keira set the turkey and vegetables in the oven.
She dusted off her hands. ‘We put the sprouts on and make the gravy a little before we’re ready to eat. And the turkey will need basting every now and again.’
‘I’ll do that,’ Jason volunteered. ‘You showed me what to do.’
She shrugged. ‘So, yes, that’s pretty much all there is to it.’
‘I should be able to manage that on my own next year.’
At his words, he could have sworn her smile slipped, but it emerged with renewed vigour and he figured he must have imagined it. ‘That’s the plan.’
She wanted to set him up for all future Christmases—Christmases when she wouldn’t be here. A rock lodged in his chest. Would he have the heart to celebrate Christmas next year?
He glanced at Jason and pulled his shoulders back. He’d celebrate next year if for no other reason than for his son. He would not let things slide so badly ever again. That was Keira’s true gift to him.
If only he could give her something so precious.
His mind suddenly whirred and clicked. Maybe he could?
‘C’mon, Jason. I’m dying to check out this game of yours.’
With a whoop, Jason shot into the living room. Keira stopped by Luke, touched his arm. ‘Are you okay?’
He gestured towards Jason. ‘Thank you. It’s been a perfect day so far.’
‘Yeah, it has.’ She dimpled up at him, and all he could think about was kissing her. ‘But the fun’s not over yet. C’mon.’
He followed her, but kept at least three feet between them as they made their way back into the living room. It would be too dangerous to get caught under the mistletoe with her today. Christmas might contain a spark of magic, but it couldn’t change the past. Nor could it change the future he’d set out before him.
Christmas dinner lived up to expectation. They all ate too much, and it all tasted so good that Luke wanted to keep eating—only he couldn’t fit another morsel in.
After lunch Keira made them play charades and other party games. Luke lost every time. He’d find himself caught up in the way her hair bounced, fascinated by the mobility of her features.
He didn’t enjoy himself any the less for that.
When the phone rang and no one else moved to answer it, Luke lumbered to his feet. He pressed the receiver to his ear. ‘Hello?’
A tiny pause, then, ‘Luke…hello.’
Brenda! Heaviness slammed into him. Guilt that he hadn’t given Brenda and Alf a second thought so far today. Guilt that he was alive and healthy when Tammy was not. ‘I…uh…I guess you’d like to speak to Jason. I’ll get him for you.’
