A KISS FOR A KISS

by Hunting, Helena

  “The socks can wait. I’d like to help.” Jake slips around me, kissing me on the cheek as he rushes down the hall to the nursery.

  By the time I get there, he has the wipes out.

  “I haven’t changed a diaper yet. And it’s been a while, so I figure it’s time to get my hands dirty.” He wiggles his fingers and his eyebrows at the same time.

  I gently set JJ onto the changing table and Jake starts unfastening his onesie. I step back and let him have at it, pulling out the zinc cream and a facecloth.

  Jake makes a face as he gently pulls JJ’s legs free of the footed onesie. “Looks like we’ve got an explosion.”

  “The kind that requires a bath or thorough wipe down?” I ask.

  “Nah, no bath required, just sprang a leak on the right side.” He removes the onesie completely and sets it aside. Then he takes JJ’s tiny feet between the fingers of his right hand and holds out his left, palm up. “Wipe, please.”

  I grin and tug one free from the dispenser. It has a warmer and everything. Jake cleans up the leak on the outside of the diaper before he carefully peels the adhesive back on the diaper, cooing and talking to JJ the entire time.

  “Look at you, you little stinker, making a big old mess right out of the gate. Is this a sign of things to come?”

  “I’m going to wet a couple of washcloths.” If it’s leaking out the side of the diaper, it could be a pretty substantial mess.

  “Sure thing.” Jake’s attention is focused on JJ.

  I drag my fingers along his broad back, disappearing into the bathroom. I turn on the hot water and wait until it’s warm before I wet and wring out three washcloths and return to the bedroom. Jake’s tongue peeks out as he wipes JJ’s tiny bum and his backside, almost all the way to his shoulder blades. “Wow, buddy, that’s some serious reach.”

  The diaper is rolled up and set to the side. My heart swells and other parts of my body start to tingle as I watch Jake being a dad.

  I’m still sporting a tender vag since JJ was over nine pounds and I have stitches below the waist that are healing, so those tingles aren’t something I can do anything with. Jake’s gentleness is something I’ve experienced regularly, ever since I told him I was pregnant, but seeing him with our son, taking care of him…it makes me emotional. And it’s impossible not to fall in love with both of them more and more every day. Knowing how hard it was for him with Queenie, and how much I missed out on with Ryan, makes us both appreciate JJ and each other that much more.

  He lowers JJ’s bum to the change pad and tosses yet another wipe onto the small mountain that’s amassed along with the dirty diaper. JJ kicks his feet jerkily and makes a squawking sound.

  “We gotta clean up the jewels now, buddy.”

  I cross the room, intending to hand him a washcloth to help with that and to cover JJ’s business since he’s doing a lot of flailing, but I don’t make it in time.

  Just as Jake turns back to JJ, he pees. And it gets Jake in the forearm. “Ah, shit!” Jake is quick, covering JJ’s little firehose with the wipe he’s holding, but it’s too late.

  I chuckle. “I guess both of you need a bath now, huh?”

  JJ shrieks, likely not happy that he’s wet.

  “I can’t believe that happened.”

  “Always point the firehose down, and always keep it covered when you can’t.” I wink and nudge Jake out of the way. “Why don’t you get the bath set up and I’ll finish here?”

  Jake pulls his shirt over his head and wipes his forearm down. “I feel like a rookie all over again.”

  I settle a hand on his warm, bare chest. “It’s been a while. And last time you weren’t contending with firehoses, so it’s okay to make rookie mistakes.”

  He motions to the crotch of his grey sweats. “Yeah, but I have a firehose. I know what happens when they’re all loose and free.”

  I bite my lip. “You’ll have plenty of opportunities to teach JJ all about firehose etiquette when he has a better command of his body.”

  Jake’s eyes light up. “Oh, hell yeah! I can’t wait to show him how to play sink the Cheerios.” He takes one of JJ’s big toes between his thumb and finger. “I have so many things I’m going to teach you.”

  “Please don’t let one of those things be how to write his name in the snow with pee.”

  “I feel like there’s a story to that.”

  “There is. And it involved Gerald.” I roll my eyes and push him toward the bathroom. “Go run a bath.”

  He does as requested and disappears into the bathroom to run the hot water.

  “You have the best daddy in the world, JJ.” I finish cleaning him up and wrap him in a light blanket, thinking about how lucky I am and how sometimes life tosses us a curveball that ends up bringing a miracle along with it.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Forever Unfolding

  Hanna

  JAKE PROVES TO be not only a dedicated father, but also a true partner. Even though he gets up every day and goes to work, he also helps manage middle of the night diaper changes.

  The first two weeks are a blur of feeding, changing diapers, and napping. I’d forgotten about the honeymoon phase. At first, JJ sleeps, like . . . well, a baby. A very happy, very content baby. I settle into a new groove. I can’t believe I’ve lucked out and managed to have another easy baby, exactly like Ryan was.

  Although, my mother had stepped in and taken over most of the middle of the night responsibilities where Ryan was concerned, since I was attending high school full-time a couple of weeks after he was born.

  But all the same, JJ doesn’t cry or fuss a lot. In fact, he seems like the perfect baby. Sweet, happy, and adorable.

  And then, just as his middle name suggests, the winds change a little over a month after Jacob Storm comes into the world.

  He becomes more alert, awake for longer periods of time. And he loves to be carried around. I try to use one of those baby carriers, so my hands are free, but it’s like he knows that I’m not actually holding him, and he starts to fuss unless he’s in my arms. His favorite thing to do is stare at my face. It’s sweet, but it also means I can’t get a whole heck of a lot done.

  He also decides that three in the morning is a good time to be awake. And not just to feed or have his diaper changed. He legitimately wants to be entertained. This wasn’t one of the things I had to contend with when Ryan was a baby. So it takes some real discipline on my part not to pick him up every single time he makes a noise.

  Last night he was up three times. Once for a feeding, once for a diaper change, and once because he felt it was time to play, not sleep. At six-thirty, I give up on the idea of getting any more sleep and settle into Jake’s lounger so I can breastfeed, hoping it will help calm him and allow me to get another twenty minutes of half-sleep. Which is better than no sleep.

  I’m sure I look like something the cat dragged in. My hair is pulled up into a messy bun. I keep having to blow strands out of my face and my giant boob is hanging out of my shirt. JJ’s hand rests protectively on the swell, his eyes closed, sucking contentedly.

  “That’s the life, right there.” Jake is standing in the middle of the living room. He’s wearing navy dress pants, a white button-down, and a tie that matches his eyes hangs loose around his neck.

  I give him a sleepy smile. “Got some boob jealousy?”

  He holds his fingers half an inch apart. “Maybe a little.”

  “The cleavage might look sweet, but being a feedbag doesn’t scream sexy.”

  He crosses the room so he’s standing next to me. “I’ll agree to disagree on that. You’re one hot mama.”

  I snort a laugh. “Liar, liar, pants on fire.”

  “I’m not lying, Hanna. There’s something ridiculously sexy about seeing you mom like a boss.” He strokes my cheek and tips his head to the side. “How are you doing? You were up a lot last night.”

  “I’m okay. Tired. Hoping JJ will want a big, long nap this afternoon.”

 
“I’m sorry I can’t stay home today.”

  Jake took the diaper change and I took the other two middle of the night disturbances, but the broken sleep isn’t as easy to manage as it was when I was younger. Even the frequent get-up-to-pee in the middle of the night during the last trimester have nothing on this. And I can see the fatigue on Jake’s face. I feel bad that he has to go to work and manage a team while I get to spend my entire day with our son. I can be a total zombie, but he has to be productive and effective. He’s still sexy, even though he looks like he could use at least three more hours of sleep.

  “You don’t need to apologize. Playoffs are right around the corner. Queenie’s supposed to stop by this afternoon, and she offered to watch JJ for a couple of hours later in the week so I can do a grocery run.”

  “What day is that? Maybe we can work it so we can go together.”

  “Like a date?” I ask.

  “Mm. Like a date. Which we’ll have to go on one of these days.” Jake’s eyebrows pull together, as though he’s trying to figure out how to make that work.

  We skipped over that whole part of the relationship process, going from secret weekends together, to suddenly contending with a later-in-life pregnancy fraught with worries and potential complications.

  “We should try scheduling that. In six months to a year from now, we’ll probably be able to swing it.” It’s sort of a joke, sort of not.

  “We have built-in babysitters coming out the wazoo. Queenie’s offered a million times to take JJ for a few hours. And when your parents come down to visit next time, we can go on a real date. The kind where I take you out for dinner. Wine you and dine you.”

  “I haven’t had a glass of wine in nearly a year, so we should go easy on that part.”

  My parents came to visit a few days after JJ was born and stayed with Ryan. It was a little awkward, especially with the way my mom always wants to give advice on how to do things the right way. I bit my tongue and let Jake politely put her in her place. But it was nice to have them visit and for my mom to tell me I’m a good mother. The best part of the visit—which was also the most emotional—was when she asked if she could take a picture of me with both of my sons and told me she knew I would be a great mother to JJ because I’d been a wonderful mother to Ryan, even if he hadn’t known at the time.

  “Noted. We’ll go light on the drinks so you don’t fall asleep on me before we get a chance to make out post-date.” He waggles his brows.

  “That may have to take place in the back seat of the car if my parents are staying here.” In the post birth-haze phase, there hasn’t been much of an opportunity for snuggling or connection. I miss it. I miss Jake, even though we’re in the same house, under the same roof, sleeping beside each other every night.

  “Or.” He holds up a finger and his eyes light up. “We could go back to your house since the lease doesn’t run out for a few more months.”

  “Oooh. Now that’s an idea.” And one I hadn’t thought of.

  Jake’s phone buzzes with a message. “Let’s put a pin in this conversation for now, but we are definitely going to talk about it later tonight.” He checks his phone. “I should be home around five. I ordered a bunch of those meals for us that have all the ingredients. We can choose whatever looks good to you and we can make it together, sound good?”

  “Sure. Sounds great.”

  He grabs his suit jacket and heads for the door. Thirty seconds later, he returns because he forgot his keys and his tablet on the kitchen counter. And his travel mug of coffee.

  _______________

  A FEW DAYS later, Queenie and Ryan come over to watch JJ while Jake and I go grocery shopping.

  Since JJ was born, I haven’t been away from him for more than a few minutes. Unless you count sleeping, which I do not.

  “I fed him before you came, so he should be good for at least a couple of hours, but if he gets fussy, there’s a bottle of breastmilk in the fridge. It just needs to be put in a warmer for a couple of minutes.” I show Queenie where everything is in the kitchen, and then take her to the nursery where the crib and diaper changing station are set up. We turned the top of the dresser in Jake’s bedroom into a second one, since the bassinet is in there, but over the past week, we’ve been transitioning JJ to his own room.

  “We’ll be fine,” Queenie assures me. “You two enjoy grocery shopping and we’ll see you in a couple of hours.”

  “Okay. Just text if you need anything. Or you have questions. We’ll both have our phones.”

  “King is a baby whisperer. You have nothing to worry about. And this is good practice for us.” Queenie hands me my purse and pushes me toward the front door, where Jake is waiting for me.

  Ryan is holding JJ. Jake kisses him on the forehead—JJ, not Ryan—and I do the same. And then they’re shoving us out the door, telling us not to rush back.

  “Should we stop and get coffees before we do the whole shopping thing?” Jake asks.

  “Oooh, that sounds great! I’d love a latte.” And I could definitely use the shot of caffeine.

  We make a stop at one of my favorite coffee places. They don’t have a drive-thru, so we go inside to order. Jake slings his arm over my shoulders as we walk across the parking lot back to the car. He pulls me into his side, his lips finding my temple. “Is it weird that I miss having JJ with us right now, even though I’ve also been dying for some alone time with you that isn’t filled with folding tiny pairs of socks and facecloths?”

  I chuckle and sip my latte. “Not weird at all. I feel exactly the same way.”

  “Queenie said she would love to be able to do this for us once a week if we’re interested. She said it’s good training for her and King.”

  “It’s kind of crazy that grocery shopping is now considered alone time, isn’t it?” I tip my chin up and smile at him. “And I don’t think it’ll be long before Ryan and Queenie are announcing their own baby.”

  “I agree, on all fronts. Once Queenie has her master’s under her belt, I think she’ll be jumping on the baby train.”

  “So letting them babysit is in everyone’s best interests.”

  “As often as they want.” He grins and unlocks the car door, holding it open for me.

  My phone beeps with a message from Queenie. I check it, expecting that maybe we’ll have to go home a lot sooner than planned. But instead, it’s a video of Ryan holding JJ.

  “Little bro, you and me, we have the best momster, and your dad’s pretty cool, even though he’s my boss.” He smirks a little, clearly unaware that Queenie is filming him at this point. “You’re gonna be so loved, buddy. And if you start giving Mom a hard time in your teens, I’m going to be there to make sure you know how good you’ve got it. I’m going to try to be a great big brother to you, and I’m trying to convince Queenie we should give you a nephew to hang out with, too, sooner rather than later.”

  “How do you feel about seeing Hanna be a mom?” Queenie asks.

  “It makes me appreciate even more the relationship we had when I was growing up. She’s awesome. And now I get it. Why she needed this. Why she needed you.” He tickles JJ’s toes. “She deserves to be able to love in the way only moms do. In the way I couldn’t recognize she loved me my entire life, until now.” He sniffs and Queenie ends the video.

  My eyes fill with tears, and Jake hands me a tissue, putting his arm around me so we can watch it again.

  “Feels good to hear that, doesn’t it?” He kisses my temple.

  “So good,” I whisper.

  “We have great kids, don’t we?” he says softly.

  “The best, really.”

  Our gazes meet and lock. He leans in and presses his lips to mine. It’s chaste at first, sweet even. Then his hand comes up to cup my cheek, and all the emotions I was feeling a few seconds ago shift. We tip our heads and part our lips. He tastes like coffee and butterscotch.

  Eventually, he pulls back, tongue sweeping along his bottom lip. “I have an idea.”

&
nbsp; “I like ideas.”

  “Your house is only five minutes from here.”

  “You are absolutely correct.” I can already see exactly where he’s going with this.

  “And it’s empty.” Jake’s gaze moves over my face in a slow caress I feel everywhere.

  “Very empty.” I’m healed below the waist, and we’re close enough to six-weeks post birth for sex to be okay. “We should go there.”

  He nods slowly. “We should.”

  “But we should stop at a CVS first and get condoms.”

  “Smart idea. And I’m going to go ahead and schedule a vasectomy once the season has ended, because as much as I love JJ, I think I’m good with two surprise babies in one lifetime.”

  We both chuckle. Jake stops at the next CVS we spot and I rush in, buy a box of condoms, and then we’re on our way to the house. I’m lucky I have my keys on me since I haven’t been to check on the place since before JJ was born.

  It’s quiet, and the air is stale. But the bed still has sheets and a comforter, and it’s all we need.

  We undress each other slowly and climb onto the bed. It’s been weeks since we’ve been able to get lost in each other like this, connect in the way only intimacy allows. Jake drags his fingers slowly from my hip, over my stomach, and between my breasts, all the way to my collarbone before he reverses the circuit, skimming along the swell of my breast.

  When he brushes my nipple, I gasp. “Gentle, they’re sensitive.”

  “Tell me if it’s too much or not enough.” He kisses along my neck to the edge of my jaw, fingers drifting back down to tease between my thighs. But I’m needy, and desperate, and I’ve had enough of this slow and soft.

  I settle my hand on his chest and push until he’s on his back and I can straddle his hips. His hands roam my curves with familiarity, and his gaze turns hot as I wrap my hand around his erection and stroke slowly, thumb sweeping over the head, spreading wetness.

  Jake tears the condom open and rolls it down his length, and I rise and take him inside. My eyes fall closed as I absorb the feeling of being connected to him this way again. Finally.