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Tethered (Flawed Love Book 4)

Page 7

by Emma Louise


  I take the stairs two at a time, banging my fist against her door. A minute later, the door swings open, and I get my first glimpse at Lucy. The real Lucy, not the made up one who met me at the doctor’s office a few weeks ago. Without make-up on she looks tired. Dark smudges underline her eyes, and her cheeks look hollow. Her hair isn’t the soft, shiny temptation it was before. It’s dull and scrapped back, away her face.

  None of that matters because she’s still so fucking beautiful.

  “What are you doing here?” she asks coldly.

  “We need to talk.”

  “We do?” she scoffs sarcastically. The derision is thick in her voice. “Well unlucky for you, I’m not interested in talking to you right now.” She moves to slam the door in my face, but my booted foot shoots out to stop it just in time.

  “I’m serious. Please let me in,” I ask again.

  “Please?” She glares daggers at me. “How well did that work out for me when I asked you for a few minutes of your time?” She’s angry, but underlying that is a thread of hurt, and fuck if that doesn’t make me feel like an even bigger dick.

  “I know. I’m sorry, okay? Can we please go inside and talk?” Something in my voice must get through to her because she shifts back slightly, giving me just enough room to squeeze past her.

  “Five minutes,” she mutters. “And only because my neighbors are busybodies.”

  “Thank you,” I say to her back as she walks away from me.

  Stopping in the middle of the room, Lucy turns back to face me, arms crossed over her chest. My eyes trail over her, taking in every detail. What I see has my stomach twisting. There’s no denying the first thing I noticed about Lucy was her amazing body. Curves that I couldn’t take my eyes off all night. Curves that I spent days memorizing. Those are gone.

  My eyes end up on the tiny, barely visible bump that sticks out just below the waistband of the dusky pink yoga pants she wears.

  Fuck.

  Fuck, fuck, fuck.

  She’s lost weight. She’s carrying my child, and instead of having the pregnancy glow that people talk about, she looks like she’s hardly eaten in days. She must notice where my stare has landed, because her body stiffens before she moves to wrap the oversized sweater she’s wearing around herself tightly.

  “Can you make this quick? I have things to do.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been sick?” The anger I’m feeling at myself is making it hard to keep my voice from coming out like a growl.

  “How do you know that? Did Rina say something to you?”

  “Just answer me.”

  “I didn’t tell you because it’s none of your damned business,” she seethes.

  “Nice try, but you’re carrying my—”

  “Finish that sentence, and this conversation is done,” she shuts me down on a shout. “Then the only talking we’ll do is through lawyers.” Her voice is pure steel, and she leans closer toward me making sure I hear every bitter word. “If you think turning up to one measly doctor appointment gives you any rights, then you’re sorely mistaken.” Her cheeks are flushed as she tries to keep control of her voice. “I’m done with letting you walk all over me.”

  I have no idea where this conversation took such a drastic wrong turn. This isn’t why I’m here. I’m supposed to be making things right. “I’ve been a dick,” I start, and she cuts me off with a derisive snort. “But I’m trying to make it right.” I keep on talking. “Please? Let me at least try to make it right?”

  The hardness eases from her face, and her stance softens slightly. “I’m sorry,” I repeat. She doesn’t speak for a long while, and I’m not sure this is going to end well for me. Just when I think she’s going to throw my ass out, her shoulders slump further. She looks defeated.

  “Honestly, I don’t even have the energy to argue with you right now. Say what you have to say, then leave.” Turning around, Lucy moves toward the chair in the corner of the room, making sure I can’t sit anywhere near her.

  I don’t like it. There’s something in me that wants to keep her close right now. That's what has me sitting on the wooden coffee table in front of her. My legs bracket hers so she can’t move. It pisses me off when her body locks tight. I hate that she can’t stand being close to me.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were there last night?” I start.

  “Is that a joke?” she scoffs. “When exactly should I have told you? Maybe in front of your sister and all my friends? Or maybe I should have interrupted you hitting on the blonde?”

  "I didn’t know you were there—” I try to speak, but she’s not giving me an inch here.

  “Is that all you wanted to talk about? Because honestly, I could do without this crap today.”

  “I want to know why you never told me you were having such a rough time,” I try to ask again, hoping she’ll actually answer this time. She doesn’t. Instead, she shifts in her seat, like she’s about to stand up to try to escape. I tighten my legs around hers slightly, so she knows I want her to stay where she is.

  “The baby is fine. I made sure,” is the answer she gives, and it’s not really an answer at all.

  “I don’t doubt that for one second, but that’s not what I asked. Are you okay?” Her wide, tired eyes fly to mine, and there’s a definite sheen of moisture there.

  Fuck. Am I that much of a bastard that she would doubt that I give a shit about how she’s been feeling?

  “Who told you?” she asks again without actually answering my question.

  “I had an unexpected visitor at the studio today.” I sigh. “TJ came to put me in my place.”

  “What the hell?” she gasps, shock bleaching her face an even paler shade of white than it already was. “How did he know? I didn’t tell anyone about you, I swear,” she babbles.

  “I know you didn’t. I guess he put two and two together when he found out you are pregnant, and he caught your reaction as you were leaving last night.” I go on to tell her about how he laid into me for treating her like shit. I leave out how it pissed me off.

  “Holy fuck,” she groans, dropping her head into her hands. “This is just awful.”

  “It’s done now.” I try my hardest to keep the frustration out of my voice. Why is it so bad that it’s finally out in the open? If I hadn’t been such a dick, everyone would have known by now anyway.

  “So that’s why you’re here? TJ threatened you into it?” She eyes me skeptically.

  “I’m here because you deserve an apology for how I’ve treated you.”

  Before she can answer, Lucy’s face crumples, and her hand clamps down over her mouth. I don’t have time to ask what’s wrong before she’s scrambling out of her seat, over my legs and running in the direction of the bathroom. I follow behind her, and she’s already on her knees in front of the toilet when I enter the bathroom, her tiny body heaving with each violent retch.

  Everything inside me twists with a burning need to do something, to take away her suffering. Grabbing a clean washcloth from the stack on the shelf, I dampen it with cool water before kneeling beside her. Taking ahold of her long, thick hair, I hold it away from her neck with one hand while pressing the wet cloth there with the other.

  It feels like an age that we sit like this. Lucy retches and strains as her body expels more than I ever thought possible. By the time the worst of it seems to have passed, her poor body is exhausted. She can hardly hold her head up on her own.

  “Do you think you can get up, sweet cheeks?” I ask gently once she’s been still for a few minutes. She doesn’t answer; she just nods weakly. Helping her up from the floor, I sit her on the toilet and help her clean her teeth. Jesus, even that almost sets off her sickness again.

  Once she’s cleaned up and back on her feet, I scoop her into my arms and carry her to the bedroom.

  “What are you doing?” she asks weakly, not lifting her head from where it rests on my shoulder.

  “Shh, I’ve got you,” I whisper, my lips pressed a
gainst her hair. She doesn’t complain. In fact, I'm sure I feel her burrow in deeper against my chest. She doesn’t say anything more as I gently place her on the bed. The need to crawl in next to her is almost overwhelming.

  “Do you need to get changed?” I ask, but I’m sure she’s already asleep before her head touches the pillow. Pulling the throw from the end of the bed over her, I can’t help but stare at her.

  I can’t believe she’s been going through this on her own, keeping it not only from me, but her friends and family too. All because she wanted to talk to me before telling anyone about the fucked-up situation we’ve found ourselves in. Taking advantage of the fact that she can’t stop me, I let my fingers gently sweep away a lock of her hair that’s fallen over her cheek.

  Today has been a massive wake-up call. Seeing Lucy like this has been like a kick in the gut. One I wish I hadn’t been stupid enough to need.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  ASA

  “I don’t need you here,” Lucy says from where she leans against the door that leads to the kitchen.

  Not lifting my gaze from the soup that’s bubbling away on the stove in front of me, I reply, “Yeah? Well, I'm here anyway, so it is what it is.” I shrug.

  “Let me rephrase then. I don’t want you here,” she tries again.

  “Sit,” I demand, ignoring her comment and pulling out one of the bar stools that line the island in her small kitchen. Surprisingly, she does as I say. “Try eating this while I make you something to eat,” I say, passing her a ginger cookie.

  “What is it?” She looks at the cookie like it’s a loaded gun instead of a snack.

  “The lady in the pharmacy said that helps with sickness, so...” I trail off on another shrug of my shoulder. Once Lucy fell asleep, I headed into the kitchen to see what I could make her to eat when she woke up, but the place was bare apart from some bottled water and a half-eaten pack of saltine crackers.

  Deciding to run to the grocery store to buy her some food, I stopped in the pharmacy first to see if there was anything I could buy to help Lucy’s morning sickness. I came back with a bag full of everything I could find that had ginger in it and enough food to see her through the rest of the week at least.

  I have no doubt she’s tried every possible thing to help with morning sickness. Lucy isn’t an idiot, but I had to do something. She stares at me for a long while before a small half smile cracks her lips.

  That’s all I need. That's the sign that I’m doing the right thing by staying here and pushing to make things right.

  “Thank you,” she murmurs softly, nibbling on the edge of the biscuit.

  “You think you could manage some soup?”

  “Urgh,” she groans, her hand moving to cover her stomach. “Even the thought of food right now makes me want to throw up, but I’ll try a little bit.”

  ***

  Thirty minutes later and she’s barely managed to eat half of the food I gave her. But she has some color back in her cheeks. While she tries to eat, we manage to hold a civil conversation for what feels like the first time in forever.

  I ask her about work and how she’s been coping while she’s been so sick. She asks about Inkcognito and how that’s going. It's not like the last few weeks have been forgotten, but we’ve set our problems aside for the time being.

  It’s been nice, which is more than I could have hoped for when I first turned up on her doorstep. When she’s had enough, I push her out of the kitchen and toward the sofa, telling her to rest while I clean up. I need a minute. Today has not ended at all like I would have expected, and it’s a lot to process.

  Once everything is cleared away, I grab some waters and switch off the kitchen lights. Stepping into the dim living room, I find Lucy is already asleep. She’s curled up on the sofa, her legs tucked close to her chest, her hands under her cheek.

  The TV is on, but I'm guessing she didn’t even make it past the Netflix sign-in screen before she passed out again. I can’t imagine how exhausted she is if she’s like this after sleeping most of the day already.

  It hits me again. Lucy is pregnant. Growing my child. She’s getting up every single day, battling with sickness and exhaustion all alone. And she hasn't complained once. Even today when I saw her brought low, she didn’t say a word.

  She’s amazing.

  It's time for me to step up and look after her.

  It’s the least I can do, for her and my baby.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  LUCY

  “Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. Asa stayed here with you all day? The whole day?” Rina twists in her seat to face me fully, her mouth dropped open in surprise. “Asa Lucas came here to see you and stayed the whole day?”

  I don’t tell her that it was actually all day and most of the night too. It was almost like he didn’t want to leave at all. “It wasn’t a big deal,” I try to downplay. “He was concerned about the baby, that’s all.”

  She makes a sound, somewhere between a snort and a laugh at that. “Keep telling yourself that.”

  A sound pings from my phone, letting me know I’ve gotten a message. Rina reaches over and grabs it before I can, a huge smile growing on her face when she sees who it’s from.

  “And now he’s texting you. Sure, he’s only concerned about the baby.”

  “Give me that, and stop being such a dork.” I laugh as she tries to stop me from grabbing the phone from her hand. She’d have a field day if she knew this isn’t the first time he’s texted today. He’s been checking on me regularly since he left last night. And I definitely won’t mention that he called me too. My insides do a little happy dance at the memory of his deep voice greeting me when I answered the phone early this morning.

  “Nu-uh.” She leans further away from me, tapping on the screen of my phone as she does.

  “Hey! Give it back!” I don’t know why I try to fight with Rina; she’s too strong for me. Years swinging around a pole have given her some serious guns.

  “Here you go. You can thank me later.” She smiles smugly as she finally passes the phone to me. Swiping the screen, I immediately go to my messages to see what damage she’s caused.

  ASA: Can I take you to dinner tonight? Six o’clock?

  ME: I’ll be ready.

  “What the fuck?” I gasp, but I don’t know why I’m shocked. I should be used to the shit Rina pulls by now. “Why would you do that?”

  “Because if I didn’t, you’d be spending yet another night here in your apartment. Alone.”

  “Thanks for the reminder.” I huff, my mind working overtime trying to think of a way to get out of going.

  “Luce, look at me,” Rina demands softly. I lift my eyes to hers, and there’s no trace of humor left on her face.

  “What do you have to lose?”

  My pride, I think, but I don’t say it out loud.

  ***

  Hours later, I somehow find myself in front of my mirror putting the final touches to the curls I just added to the ends of my hair.

  I don’t know why I’m nervous; it’s not like it’s a date. I tell myself as much, even though I’ve spent longer getting dressed for tonight than is probably necessary.

  I’m wearing a stretchy t-shirt dress. It falls to my knees and is just tight enough to show off my small baby bump. Heels are out of the question, thanks to the cankles I’ve developed, so I push my feet into my trusty black flats. My leather biker jacket will have to do as it’s the only thing I have that still fits properly.

  I don’t have time to stress too much about how I look because the door knocks at six on the dot. Making sure my purse has everything I might need, including my oh so glamorous emergency sickness bags, I stop and take a deep breath before I open the door.

  I’m nervous. Stupidly nervous. The butterflies that have been giving the odd flutter all afternoon take off in excited flight when I see Asa leaning against the door frame.

  He’s wearing worn jeans, but instead of his usual tight T-shirt, he’s
wearing a long-sleeve Henley, the top two buttons undone. That little hint of skin is enough to make my cheeks heat. Why does he have to be so hot? It’s completely unfair. Especially when I look like crap most of the time these days. I have to avoid looking him in the eye. I’m scared if I do, he’ll be able to tell how hot I am for him. The last thing we need is things between us complicated by sex, no matter how horny I am right now. That’s what got us into this mess in the first place.

  “You look amazing,” Asa says, taking a step closer to me, his big hands coming up to grab my upper arms. He surprises me by leaning in and planting a kiss on my cheek. The soft bristle of his short beard tickles my skin. The fresh, clean scent that is uniquely him invades my nose.

  Everything about Asa Lucas is an assault on my senses, and it’s an effort to stop myself from swaying closer toward him. “You get enough rest today?” he asks, pushing me back slightly so he can look me over. The fact that he’s not only asking but genuinely seems to care about my answer is enough to snap me out of the Asa fog I was just trapped in.

  “I did, thank you. Keir insisted I take the next few days off from work, so I spent all day relaxing,” I tell him as he guides us downstairs and toward his car that’s parked right outside. “But I’m sure you already knew that considering I've given the same answer each and every time you’ve texted me today.”

  “Not gonna say sorry for that. I have some making up to do, sweet cheeks.” Asa helps me into the passenger seat of his car. I can’t help but roll my eyes as he slams the door closed and gives me a cocky grin when he walks around to get in the driver seat.

  “Tell me about yesterday. Are you always that sick?” We’ve only been on the road a few minutes before Asa asks.

  “Sick? No. Tired? Oh, yes. The exhaustion is no joke. I think the sickness you saw was just because I didn’t eat much. I’ve worked out I need to snack little and often. It’s usually more bad nausea than actual vomiting,” I tell him.

  “Me causing you stress on top of all that wouldn’t have helped. You know I’m sorry, right? I wouldn’t have—”

 

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