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The Real Horse

Page 2

by Farid Matuk


  are we called winnowing sieves when hauled across land

  I mean friends and local ghosts could pass through us

  they want to see yellow flowers in the desert

  and boys on their dirt bikes going in saturated shadows

  and light-sensitive paper solutions invite allegory at every turn

  like if you’re walking any of your faces at the encounter into paper

  emulsified for pictures in silver salts or bitumen it’s at least 1841

  when settlers would minister a seduction pressing you into silver nitrate

  along a vast sheet can you see your hand in the sky behaving itself

  each wrinkle on the paper claimed into a new type

  table salt to silver nitrate making a sensitivity to light

  gelatin in iron salts the cyanotype calotype platinotype

  in pigment gum arabic with potassium dichromate oil

  and bromoil prints will you be closer to the falling away

  of the gaze of things choosing the process

  a daughter Juan Flores or a real outlaw daughter

  curled onto my chest looking doubled exactly like us

  does it matter our decorations can’t help themselves

  stepping out ahead in a horizon line’s bands of purple black

  every night stacked on this unlit town over young heads

  crowded by a bubbling upsweep into something like a curio

  from each glass nook watch what friendly air may come borrowing Flores’s eyes

  said to be “neither black gray nor blue greatly resembling those of the owl”

  listen for chaste nouns in time some mercury silver mylar

  little verbs if any “that were ever set in a human head”

  transactions being forms that change what’s to see

  not how to move through the mirrored rooms of the dead restored

  to a fresh churned smell after my hand stained with outside worries an inner wall

  no collapse a turning over greed for the picture archive I lose my place

  but stamped on the tin frame of our mirror

  two long-tailed birds kiss a flower between them

  it’s like some people you see

  proud with their daytime running lamps and metals in the sun a posse

  can think it comes home to flashing eyes of señoritas they say little lady lords

  out West a land dotted with practitioners full of old commercial surf pop echo

  that wants nothing but projection seas awesome trees

  in the wind archive wanting the voice-over the sun ghost Los Angeles a clean

  way to hug the young ocean salt on desert air ghosts the cool

  expanse of the hour ahead we’d try not to show our eyes until they passed

  bright white light these days better than a day searching eyes could so easily interrupt

  at least you’re in it is that the success when trees shake over sisters

  or brother trees make shadow pools for drone traffic the record doesn’t say

  Sheriff Barton’s posse was a white as cute as eye shadow as a model plane the men

  take to the quiet depth so well dead they said cuz “La Chola” mishandled their guns

  Boeing Phantom Ray shadows the record in its truth and beauty kinsmen

  go down nattering stir the bowl into a reservoir moon little one our water

  if there’s already an archive in the noise where you’re the outlaw

  we’ll bring you messages in the willows in the citrus fields

  high bright flowers reek a spice for free and if the sheriff drops his big voice

  on Sepulveda making a show out of being a thing with you when the cymbals go

  echoing in the finger bells sibilant into the fan sways the hills

  at his yellow heels when he asks about the desperate

  like it’s not everyone’s name says it was your fault that Predator

  engine hum always stored under the stairs so what if you signaled your men

  with a lit cigarette in a house by night we could still play in the sunshine

  all orange marker we’ll draw a box seen from above keep decorating it

  with stickers Christmas-themed presents and glittering Christmas-eyed

  mermaids is what a people are saying about him

  no history no figuring no I mean really

  if we could gather thick as these stickers about him

  never suiting what we make to a commons that needs a “shout pouch” fashioned

  from “a fact of a most beautiful necklace of human ears on a rawhide string”

  even if your names open beneath you intimate as your next thought cymbaling

  on the shore arranging all those grains of sand mica in the mosaic of the bank portico

  what lived and storied coordinates that you’re young that you won’t be blank for me

  or for the cluster of antennae the remaining Barton men make of themselves

  listening between understandings along the yellow fire hills of California just one

  surfeit ridge could tin the wind out ringing for the ears of the twenty

  arrested since the sheriff’s killing left alive in custody and I had the nerve to look

  at pictures when buildings echo one another across the office park

  draw doors on everyone a sound can break space or enfold it cut through the sea

  as a twelve-sail clipper I said or be the sea to eel virus and gaze swirl the reservoir

  of what was said our shoulders remember themselves from whose impressions

  grass then air then Coloma then San Diego then unspecified

  sweat straw smell heavy stage curtains not what was said

  in the nose or the good foot settles on the plastic bits cheap pretty bright red beads

  loosed this wind rolls the dead lean into a parade above our roof carry a disaster

  this way unspecified Los Angeles Bodie unspecified Shasta

  toward my stepping off the strain of new thought if one day we’ll be in a state in a lost place

  in a tent city will you be left to talk for us will you see the tree of yellow flowers

  the vinyl sheet pitched for a roof water in gasoline cans hurried across hands

  but today along our row of cubicles a sun staff in the blue recycle bin shows its walls

  as a slight blue coalescent plastic place a horse’s jawbone on our piles give something

  to the nuns to hold have them weave your sheets then burn us

  indiscrete with your words but for now do I keep telling you

  it’s not that easy to step off the dock manic babies in sulfur and mercury in stars coming

  for us let artists be curious

  let them be alive in work

  A Daughter the Real Horse

  In 1861 Adah Menken started her long run playing the “breeches role” of the Cossack hero, Ivan Mazeppa. Navigating the theater houses of the United States and Europe, she used the press to alternately circulate and repudiate rumors of her mixed European and African ancestry. Each night on stage she covered her skin, though not her shape, in a pinkish white body stocking to play the culminating scene in which Mazeppa is stripped nude and bound, against a scrolling panorama, to a runaway horse.

  what’s my work

  what I thought our shadow

  on the distaff side

  lined out women gone out

  either way from you

  pulling thread out of flax from the staff

  writing

  anything we want

  depilating

  or setting hair

  if each dimension in time is also another

  already folded in or stacked on top

  our work might fall off the display

  but maybe we don’t

  during th
e war being a reliable thing to say

  what metals went into the sentence

  into the tack and spurs if iron was cheap

  let’s say iron with what vigilance the books say

  was in the air

  everyone came to see the rebel

  hero sent away in Adah’s body

  a thing she mastered onstage

  until it was a room she could leave

  shavings of metal on her fingertips

  animal grease in her teeth in her century

  no edits or quick takes outside of a train

  or strapped to a horse onto that externalizing love

  machines call up

  like when it rains

  drops shine slow in our desert

  air threaded

  about the water tower

  and eucalyptus grove

  like stage curtains

  heavy until they’re not

  like any of the videos that assume one day

  you’ll join those of us still looking

  the curtains lighten

  but never fall off the little swarms

  Napoleon Sarony’s publicity pictures

  lifted and split Adah into

  “a New Orleans baby”

  “I will create a new sensation depend on it” Adah promised

  that shudder in a long sequence where sides fold in time

  in edits in the eye she put herself there and gone

  in a dummy’s place tied to a real horse

  riding four stories up a narrow ramp a new feeling

  off a great horsewoman wolves on the run Inca doves fog the stage for an ideal man

  of refinement taciturn was a woman seen in their thousands

  conical retina tunnels layering each other’s looking so many times

  did it feel like they slapped space red to its surface then a fine

  ash in the wrinkles it’s not a space for details that fall away in words

  clean blood where no one steps in the reservoir you can see it between us

  seeping in degrees crusting or draining into various attitudes rendering

  feelings her busy arms would strip the air

  clean of critics saying “She poses better than she speaks”

  what of it reaches home hot wax pulling my mother’s hairs leaving her

  made smooth where she made herself white having looked like a man

  at her I could seem one more thing shared across the light

  “artifactual” anything could be a mirror coupling

  the stripped robes was a shining copper flower clip in the aspect of a nipple

  the Cossack hero didn’t care in the work of raising her shield

  in her hair in the shine of her toes dipped in oils from the dark horse hide

  are we a successful people putting your wilderness

  in the wide eye of the horse for you imagine the smallness of a European room

  beyond stylized tendrils of whipping mane as long as we’re looking the mirror

  was supposed to pass for our eyes my daughter Glaucon the negations

  were supposed to open as gates an immigrant California baby like me or a local

  made white enough to not begin exposed had to first pale beside someone like Laulerack

  Adah’s “Indian maiden” then beside “the African beauty” French producers

  threatened to cast then beside the horse’s shine we were supposed to fold edges

  to look full on into an expanse of edges

  where our trot could achieve whose particular speed the horse might say

  engorged my tongue escapes its mouth but in sympathy

  the world will increase a color on the walls

  the backs of your knees open to drink in

  or maybe the horse would say there never is a stage

  much less the sand in which the theater sinks

  there is the dove and its shadow over the hero and her horse

  and the shadow is dense with its turning iterations

  and wet with its water and light with their light

  so if we have to realize generations

  of recorded advice like “Go find some spectacle

  where your pretty face will show”

  we can try it on loop and when the metals

  go loose of their tape

  they can light out for the Territory

  “a vagabond of fancy”

  “the interest is painful in its intensity”

  “When the animal affrighted by the glare of fires and goaded”

  “the trail winding up between jagged rocks”

  “above a roaring stream to vanish on heights unguessed”

  “Born a dweller in tents a reveler in the tented habitation of war”

  the whole country gorgeously illuminated

  say it’s not your shame because it’s our shame

  or we’re left available that’s us

  blue sky behaving itself and two long-tailed birds

  on the frame of our mirror draw sugar refined from a flower between them

  the horse and the high ramp are givens

  to both cold and warm lighting schemes we bathe across the rooms we document

  by video some of us came here to be the real rider

  or the real horse the real hero whose real white skin

  picks up dirt water can wash and return to the ground floor of the purpling valley

  “terrific cataracts tearful precipices” work to be a given

  in the folding if I could be one of the rooms

  you pass through on your way out of you

  but how do I pull from that proposition a place for you to turn in regard

  if in the story of a thing I say there was a place

  it’s because the placed look back

  on us with this feeling face I’ve been reading

  we could match to a green aspect in Kathakali’s color-coded

  system of theater where actors younger than you

  learn a closed set of precisest faces and feelings

  something like Adah learned hers so what finite resistances

  of mountain planes did we make in your face

  we came here holding on to a stake in artifice

  Emily’s butterflies

  plashless in the coined word swarm close

  then settle articulating the glam out of our echo would you

  even want to run as fast as a high-end line we could trust

  spinning the against movement equine of blur a...”

  “...lights flashing and panorama painted of drum

  what does my pale sister want thy pale sister is named Adah laid soft upon your breast Adah

  would write we’ll be concubines the maiden Laulerack explained where dust on the floor lifted

  on a breeze broken off its current upon the stand of eucalyptus outlines where their bodies

  were they filled with grayed leaves vertigo Adah would write what word there was to be said

  when the eyes of a dove led her to a clearing having darkened so many sidewalks animals

  get tired but dirt sparks in the traveling or I just want to be around you I just want to see us

  bound folds sumptuous in exposed skin hose white legs her on feet pretty hero’s A

  .outline own its into running horse real this of back the on freight as

  in a pool she’d write opportune your pale sister called to a party of white men a white woman

  is in danger so they were flushed toward soldiers ahead of startled men in the chief’s party

  who pierced Laulerack letting her fall upon Adah already in the wagon Adah would write I

  settled her dark curls touch she would say to white journalists who would write of the channel

  on Adah’s thigh where a tomaha
wk grazed her while your dad banged at that door in the song

  I was wearing your colors to California coming to consciousness all heroines said where am I

  so consequently did I come to love them for twinning me while important reviewers amateur

  face sitters perch so far aside whiteness I can’t even believe in the theorizing we offer them

  like reaching running toward and alighting from extraordinary points in sound and space

  creates new pathways to a future for sophisticates who decipher semantic crosscurrents

  of despair and a brief tearing at the veil of racial division makes a frontier where desire

  is improvised through and across coursing histotextuality a method marginalized writers

  use to braid historical allusions that contextualize and radicalize their work by countering

  the putatively innocuous generic codes they seem to have endorsed a site of self making

  for bodies in the cultural imaginary singing an anthem of simultaneity in a continuous space

  of renewal that repeats dissonance and lack of closure as a strategy of performative

  rigorously oppositional identity production or as a predicament bodies find themselves in

  whose momentary solutions we call dance imitating with a vengeance calling attention to

 

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