Tutor Me

by Hope Stillwater

  Instead I looked around the table and made an exaggerated pout. “There are no empty chairs left.”

  Lacey said, “Bryce, get her one.”

  Bryce would have done so but I put my hand on the back of his neck and said, purring, “How about I just sit on your lap instead?”

  Kai let out a whistle and the others at the table collectively chuckled. Bryce’s eyes widened with shock and amusement.

  “My lap, my face, feel free to sit anywhere babe.” He was wearing his cockiest grin. Kai and Joe snickered. I sat down sideways on his lap and slung my arm around his neck. I leaned down to whisper in his ear, “You feel good.”

  “Oh baby I’m feeling great right now and I want us both to feel even better.” He said it quietly but not quietly enough, as the whole table started giggling more.

  I swung around and straddled him with my legs, our chests pressed together, and kissed him hard with my hands in his hair.

  I sensed that people were watching us and I heard someone in the cafeteria holler, “Get a room!”

  He was a good kisser and I was a decent actress and we must have looked pretty intense, because it wasn’t long before a stern “Ahem” pulled us apart. Ms. Dabiski, a math teacher on lunch duty, told us to cut it out. I swung back around as Bryce sighed.

  Our table was laughing heartily at us. “Thanks for the show, you two,” Joe said.

  Lacey smirked. “One person didn’t enjoy it.”

  I looked at her questioningly, waiting for her to say what I wanted to hear.

  “Your tutee looked like he would have killed both of you with his bare hands if he could. Theo was trying to bring him down. Then he stormed out of the cafeteria.” Vengeance felt sweet, even though my heart was still shattered.

  Bryce laughed humorlessly. “Serves that prick right. He needs to know you’re mine, Jenny.”

  We bused our trays. I had eaten exactly nothing of my lunch, but no one had noticed because of my performance with Bryce. As Bryce and I parted outside the cafeteria, he leaned forward to speak low in my ear, “Goddamn it Jenny I’m not going to be able to think straight for the rest of the afternoon, and we have that fucking football trip after school. I cannot wait till this weekend. I have to finish this sooner. I’ll call you later.”

  I nodded as he nibbled my ear before heading off down the hall.

  I wondered how I would survive Calc, and hoped Callum wouldn’t show up. He wasn’t there when I slid into my seat but a few minutes later he came in. As soon as I saw him I looked down, my eyes on my notes from the previous class. He walked down my aisle and I prayed he would continue past me to his seat but he paused in front of my desk. I didn’t look up.

  “Jenny.” He dropped down to a crouch in front of me. I couldn’t ignore him because that would be immediate cause for gossip, so I glanced up at him, willing my eyes to be icy.

  “What?” I tried to sound bored. He glared at me.

  “I need to talk to you.” His voice was harsh. We both glanced around, noticing that the nearby students were watching our interaction with interest. He added, “About the notes I missed.”

  I glared back. “You really fucked up missing those classes. I don’t know if my notes will be enough to help you.”

  I heard Drew, who was sitting next to me, mutter, “Wow she’s a hard ass tutor, I’m glad she’s not mine.”

  Callum persisted. “I know, but I really need them.”

  The boy on the other side of me said, “Geez Jenny, have a heart and loan him the notes.” I shot a death glare at him too, and he threw up his hands in mock surrender.

  After a moment of tense silence I relented, rather than come across as a total bitch to the students who were following this exchange. Without looking at Callum, I spat out, “OK, but today’s not good. I’ll see if I can find some time in the next few days.”

  “No, I need to get started studying tonight. It has to be today.”

  “Fine. Text me later.” I snapped, dismissing him. I wanted to end this conversation and decide later what to do.

  But Callum didn’t budge. “No. We’re setting it up now. Your phone doesn’t seem to be working.” He was speaking through gritted teeth.

  Seeing he wasn’t going to give up, I said, “OK. Starbucks at 8pm.” There was no way I was meeting him at either my house or his house and risk falling under his spell.

  He seemed about to protest but Mr. F called out that class was starting so Callum got to his feet, nodding curtly at me.

  I ignored him the rest of class and bolted out of the room when the bell rang. Lacey was waiting at my locker. “Why is your phone off? I’ve been trying to reach you,” she said, slightly exasperated.

  “It’s out of juice, sorry.”

  “Anyway, I wanted to see if you want to get a mani-pedi with me right now? I’m in desperate need.” She held out her hand as proof, but her nails looked perfect to me.

  “Sure! That sounds fun.” Anything for a distraction. We drove in separate cars to the salon and settled into adjacent chairs. The warm water coursing over my feet felt soothing.

  As we flipped through some gossip magazines we talked casually while the women worked in efficient silence on our feet and hands. I tried to block out thoughts of Callum, encouraging Lacey to talk about Kai.

  Lacey eventually brought up the topic I was expecting. “So you were cute at lunch today. Kind of unexpected, after our chat on Saturday.”

  I was prepared for this. “I decided I need to give Bryce a fair shot, and not be so timid. I’m ready for him.”

  Lacey smiled warmly. “That makes me happy, Jenny. I just know the four of us will be amazing together and Bryce is so ready to settle down with you. He is only running around because he’s not sure how committed you are. He won’t look at another girl once you give yourself to him.”

  I knew the truth was far less romantic, that Bryce would sooner or later get bored with me and want some other tail, but he’d probably make an effort for a little while, until he was sated.

  Lacey sent snapchats of our painted toes to Kai and Bryce, asking them to guess whose feet were whose. I’d selected a midnight blue for my toes and pale pink for my fingernails. Lacey used the same polishes, but reversed it. The boys sent a selfie back of themselves on the bus, and labeled correctly whose feet were whose. Then they took a shot of their hands and asked us to guess whose was whose. Lacey and I peered at the picture on her phone.

  Lacey knew right away. “This one is definitely Kai’s. He’s got that little freckle on his index finger. Bryce’s nails are so neatly trimmed!” Lacey was right, this foursome could be good.

  I didn’t want to face going home to an empty house and thinking about Callum so when we left the salon I asked Lacey if she’d like to get an eegee at Blimpies, which was nearby. As Lacey’s home life was even more emotionless than mine, I knew she felt no need to hurry home. We ordered kid’s size strawberry eegees and looked up possible prom dresses on Lacey’s iPad.

  When I finally drove home, a surprise awaited me: Callum’s car was parked in the driveway, next to my dad’s. What the hell??

  Chapter 21

  I sat in my car for a moment, trying to collect my thoughts. I turned on my phone to see what I was dealing with. Sure enough, the oldest texts were a string from Callum (typical peremptory statements: we must talk; call me; where are you). There were also a couple from Lacey, one x-rated one from Bryce, and then my dad had texted to say he would be home for dinner tonight. The last message was from Callum: Waiting at your house. Your dad’s cool.

  If the goal was to yank my chain, he was achieving it. I stomped up the steps and flung open the front door, to be greeted by a tranquil scene of my dad and Callum sitting side by side on the couch, guitars in hand. They both looked up when I walked in, my dad briefly, Callum a bit longer.

  “What’s going on?” I was seething. Callum’s expression was smug.

  My dad answered me, distracted, his eyes on his guitar. “Jenny. Glad you’r
e home. Your friend Callum here is quite a guitar player. Giving me some good tips on this rather difficult piece. I bought ingredients for paella, would you mind making it? Oh and set the table for three. Callum is joining us.”

  Callum looked at me, his eyes gleaming smugly. Arrogant prick. I stuck my tongue out at him, and he chuckled silently.

  My dad was trying to get Callum’s attention again. “Uh Callum, I can’t work out the fingerwork here. I know you said to ease the pressure but…”

  But I wasn’t done. “Callum, what are you doing here? We had arranged to meet at Starbucks.”

  Callum shrugged, an innocent look on his face. “Starbucks isn’t a good place for studying.”

  My dad nodded, “Callum is right, Jenny.”

  Callum then delivered the final zinger. “I tried to call you but your phone is still not working. So when I couldn’t reach you by phone I thought the best thing to do was just come on over.”

  My dad again nodded. “You did the right thing.”

  “Thank you, sir.” Oh my God I was going to puke on this love fest.

  “Well don’t feel you have to stay for dinner.” I snapped. My dad looked shocked, but Callum responded as if he was oblivious to my rudeness.

  “Oh but I’d like to, thank you. Let me know if I can be of help.” He gave me his sweetest most innocent smile but I wasn’t buying it.

  “I can handle it, thanks.” I strode to the kitchen, tied on an apron, and started on dinner, banging a few pots and pans around. Luckily I could make paella with my eyes closed. I chopped the garlic and minced the onion, and sautéed it in the oil before adding the rice. When I had added the heated broth and put the pan in the oven with the sausage on it, I set about preparing a salad and a vinaigrette dressing. I set the dining table, and returned to check on the paella rice and add some of the seafood. I heard my dad and Callum talking and playing, catching snippets of their conversation.

  To my dad’s question of which classical guitarists he liked, Callum responded, “I love the old guard, like Segovia of course. Bream is fantastic. Among the new generation the Assads are really interesting.” I could hear the two guitars playing the same piece together, one tentative, one assured, and was struck by just how talented Callum was. Talent that didn’t come out in most rock songs. I’d already observed how well he played keyboard, but now, on the guitar, he was spectacular. This was a side to him I hadn’t seen. I almost forgot I was mad and hurt when I listened to his music and heard him talking with my dad.

  After about 45 minutes, dinner was ready. I came out to the living room, still wearing the apron, and invited them to the table. My anger had subsided and now I was left feeling sad, remembering that this mesmerizing boy was just not that into me. He was simply redoubling his efforts to win me over and mess with Bryce. But I wouldn’t let him see how this realization affected me. They put their guitars down and Callum headed down the hall to wash his hands. My dad came into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of red wine. “Do you want some, sweetheart?” My dad had a European attitude toward wine drinking.

  “No thanks, I’ve got homework to do after this.”

  “Why were you so late coming home?” By posing that question I knew my dad was merely curious- he never adopted a standard parental role with me.

  Callum reappeared as I was answering, watching me. “I was getting a mani-pedi with Lacey.” My dad looked confused.

  “Ian, hello, a mani-pedi is short for manicure and pedicure.” I held out my hands and one foot. Both males peered down somewhat comically.

  “You like?” I couldn’t help asking, looking at my dad but really speaking to Callum.

  “Your hands and feet were already pretty adorable.” Callum said this, and I glanced up at him, seeing a yearning in his eyes that made me feel good briefly. But I looked away, not acknowledging his compliment. Sweet talking wasn’t going to get him anywhere.

  If my dad caught Callum’s statement he chose to ignore it. He instead babbled on sagely about bodily decoration as evolutionary behavior and its possible origins in premodern hominins. We sat at the table, my dad at the head and Callum and I on either side of him, across from each other. The paella sat on a trivet between us, steam rising.

  My dad dominated the conversation during dinner, as he and Callum continued to chat about classical guitar and music more generally, and about baseball, another of my dad’s passions. I was mostly quiet, eating while they talked, finding that I was quite hungry after skipping lunch. Callum was very complimentary about the food, and a few times tried to bring me into the conversation, but I shut down all of his attempts. I tried to stare back stonily but I knew my look was more wary than anything else. My anger had now faded but I had enough instinct for self-preservation that I worked to keep him at an emotional distance, and not let him charm his way back into my good graces.

  After dinner my dad sat at the table and chatted while Callum and I cleaned up. I was for once thankful my dad was there because I was dreading the inevitable private conversation with Callum. I felt tired and hurt, nothing I wanted to explain to Callum. But the time eventually came when the kitchen was clean and my dad was getting up to go to his study, a detached room over the garage.

  “See you later kids,” he said as he drifted away, his mind already on some scholarly point almost certainly.

  After he had left I couldn’t make eye contact with Callum and we stood there awkwardly, the air full of tension. “Can we talk in your room?” Callum asked tentatively.

  I nodded without looking at him, heading down the hall knowing he would follow. Once there, Callum prowled around my room, taking in the poster of the periodic table, my plastic DNA model, stacks of NME magazines and shelves full of books. Nope, my room hadn’t undergone any changes following my social transformation. After a moment, Callum flopped down on my bed, looking annoyingly cute on the brightly colored geometric duvet cover.

  “Please, make yourself comfortable,” I said sarcastically.

  “Oh I feel very comfortable.” Callum’s mood had shifted, and he was grinning mischievously.

  “I have homework to do, so, can you say what you want to say, please, and then go?” I stood with my hands folded across my chest, defensively.

  “Well, I’m sorry you overheard that conversation with Connor, and I forgive you for your disgusting display at lunch.”

  OK my anger was back. “Where to begin responding to that? First of all, I don’t want you to apologize for my overhearing what you said, I want you to apologize for saying it in the first place! And don’t you dare bring up my behavior at lunch! What I do with Bryce is my business, not yours. You’re the one who talked trash about me to your friend.” I was livid, standing before him, my hands clenched now into fists at my sides.

  “When you suck face publicly that becomes everyone’s business.”

  “What do you care? You told Connor it was all about the challenge, nothing else, so you must have been getting a bit bored after yesterday morning, when the challenge was getting easier.”

  “You know I was just saying all that to cover up our bets.”

  I humphed but his story seemed to elide with Ben’s take.

  “OK I’m going to ask you straight: it’s not true, what you said?”

  He paused for a moment, watching me. “It’s not entirely untrue. I do want you. I am trying to sleep with you. And I do take some pleasure in fucking with Bryce, but that part is just an added bonus to all this, not a motivation, I assure you.”

  I hugged my arms around me, as if to protect myself. “You were so cold when talking about me to Connor. I felt demeaned, like you’ve been using me. I didn’t like it. It made me feel dirty, as if everything we did together was to ridicule me.”

  He sat up straight on the bed. “Listen. Those things we’ve done, that I’ve done to you… I was not demeaning you.” He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “How can I explain this… when I was doing those things I was worshipping you, trying to ma
ke you feel something spectacular.”

  Right then I believed him, and knew he wasn’t just feeding me a line. I smiled wanly. “OK I forgive you.”

  Callum looked relieved, but then his eyes narrowed. “We’re not done yet. You owe me an apology for lunchtime.”

  “Actually, I don’t. Bryce and I just got carried away. It had nothing to do with you.”

  “Bullshit. I saw you initiate it and I know you were trying to hurt me. I’ve never done that purposefully to you.”

  “Yes you did, when you went off with that Melanie chick at the party the other weekend.”

  Callum threw up his hands. “That’s different and you know it. I explained then what I was doing.”

  Callum was not going to let me off the hook, so I gave in. “Fine, you’re right. I was hurt and I wanted to piss you off, break through your coldness. I’m sorry.”

  “For the record, I never feel cold toward you.”

  I was curious. “So have you told anyone about our bets?”

  Callum looked sheepish. “The guys in the band know.”

  I protested, “Oh geez Callum, I’m going to be so embarrassed around them now!”

  “Don’t be. They get it and they really like you. How about you? Have you told anyone? Tina?”

  “Yup.”

  “What does she think of these bets?”

  I flushed. “She thinks they’re hot.” Callum looked smug.

  “Anyone else?”

  “Ben.”

  “Shit, is he going to kick my ass for messing with his little sister?”

  “No, I called him this afternoon and he actually was defending you, saying you had to say what you did to Connor.”

  “There you go, another guy gets it. But you were still pissed at me this evening, even after hearing the guy’s point of view?”