Don't Ask, Don't Tell

by M. T. Pope

  Once the show was over, the picnic got underway. Many of the soldiers were there with their families and it was good to see that everyone seemed to pretty much get along. The kids were on inflatable playgrounds playing, and as Aaron left my side to go mingle with some people he’d met at the community center the other night, I sat on a bench eating a hotdog and watching the kids play. I wondered how many children Aaron and I would have. The subject had definitely come up, and I questioned him about being forty-two without any children. At this point, he was ready. I was too, and we both agreed that after marriage, we’d get started on having kids right away.

  I was in deep thought about our future, but was interrupted by a tap on my shoulder that caused me to jump. When I turned around, Lela stood before me. She was dressed in an army green T-shirt with camouflage pants that had pockets on each side. Her braids were in a ponytail, and without a lick of makeup on, her skin looked smooth as ever. I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her.

  “You’re, uh, Sky, right?” she asked.

  “Yep. That would be me.”

  “I’m Lela from the other night. You stopped to talk to me as I was getting ready to enter the restroom. Do you remember?”

  “Of course I do. I told you what an inspiration you had been to me and I meant it.”

  “I’m glad that I have what it takes to inspire. You don’t seem like, or should I say look like, the kind of woman who needs much motivation to me, but I’m not always a good judge of people’s character.”

  “Neither am I, but I’m sure that I have you pegged out the right way.”

  Lela blushed—a little. Her eyes searched the picnic area as if she was looking for someone, then she turned her attention back to me.

  “Would you ... Do you mind if we go for a walk?”

  I was surprised that she’d asked, and since Aaron was nowhere to be found, I figured it would be okay. I threw my plate in the trashcan and carried a soda in my hand as we began to take a slow walk.

  “I’ve been thinking about the other night, and I wanted to apologize for ignoring you and going into the bathroom. It’s just that I was so embarrassed by my husband’s treatment, and shocked that he had no respect for me in front of a complete stranger.”

  “There’s no need for you to apologize for his behavior. I thought his reaction was pretty cold, but hey, it wasn’t my business. I just had a desire to meet you, to tell you how proud I was to see a black woman handling her business in the armed services. I didn’t necessarily say it like that, but it’s always good to see sisters who are on the right path. There is something about you that shines above all the rest and I saw nothing but fire in your eyes. I can tell that you love what you do and that’s a good thing.”

  “You would be correct. I do love what I do, but there are times that I would like to spend more time with my family.”

  “How many children do you have?”

  “None, and at thirty-three, I’m not sure if kids are in my plans yet. My husband and I have put children on hold for now. When I mentioned my family, I meant my parents and brother, who I don’t really see that often. My job keeps me very busy and I just got back from Baghdad, Iraq three and a half weeks ago. It was a nightmare, but you learn to adjust and do what you have to do.”

  I was so honored to be in the presence of a woman who appeared to be so brave. I wouldn’t last one darn day in Iraq and would probably be somewhere cooped up in a corner with tears in my eyes. Not to mention the missed hair and nail appointments. I just couldn’t do it, but thank God for the women who could. “Again, I’m impressed. I know how it is about family, but if you ever need someone to talk to or hang out with, let me know. I live in downtown St. Louis and the base is not that far from me at all.”

  Lela halted her steps and crossed her arms across her chest. “I would like that,” she said. “Before you leave, let’s exchange numbers.”

  “Sounds like a plan. Meanwhile, I’d better get back to the picnic. I’m sure Aaron may be looking for me and I don’t want him to think that I ran off without telling him.”

  “No, you wouldn’t want that. But the reason that you ran off may someday be very well worth it.”

  Lela’s comment caught me off guard. I didn’t know how to respond, so I didn’t. This time, I walked away and when I turned, she started jogging in the other direction. From a distance, I saw her husband watching and waiting for her to come to him. His face was twisted and his mouth was moving fast. I saw her touch his shoulder, but he snatched it away. Several more words were exchanged before he walked off. She followed him. I watched until the two of them vanished from my sight.

  The picnic lasted for hours. I was ready to go, but was disappointed that Lela hadn’t shown back up to exchange phone numbers with me. I guessed things must have gotten heated with her husband, so I didn’t sweat it. What was meant to be would be, and even though I’d felt a little connection with her, I was skeptical about interfering in her marriage. Her husband seemed kind of possessive and controlling to me, but again, I was on the outside looking in. Lela appeared to be the kind of woman who could handle herself, so I wasn’t too worried.

  Aaron and I stood near a commissary facility, talking to two soldiers who were telling us about their time in Afghanistan. Bin Laden had been killed several months ago and the mood on the base was very upbeat. Many of the soldiers seemed proud, and Aaron and I stressed just how proud we were too.

  “Well, keep up the good work,” Aaron said. “Hearing of his death was like music to my ears. That night, I had a feeling the president was about to make an announcement that had something to do with Bin Laden.”

  Just as I was getting ready to add my two cents, a female soldier behind me interrupted us.

  “Excuse me,” she said. “Can I speak to you for a minute?”

  “Sure,” I said, a bit skeptical, but walked a few feet away from Aaron and the other soldiers to speak to her.

  “What can I help you with?” I asked.

  “Here,” she said, handing me a piece of paper.

  “Someone asked me to give this to you. Have a great day.”

  Before I could thank her, she walked away. I opened the folded piece of paper and it said

  Hope you call me soon. Lela.

  Her number was written on the paper as well. I eased the paper in my purse, then walked over by Aaron to resume my conversation with him and more soldiers.

  It had gotten even later, and when I looked up, it was almost eight o’clock. Aaron and I were given a more detailed tour of the base, and that took up a lot of time. I had never stepped one foot on the base, but had heard a lot about it. Aaron had visited before, but was never given a detailed tour like he’d been given today. I think he’d gotten tired too, and as his conversations started to wrap up quickly, I could tell he was ready to go. We shook hands with several soldiers and began to make our way back to the car. We were only a few feet away when we heard someone yell, “Hey!”

  Aaron and I both turned around, seeing Lela’s husband charging our way. He slowed his pace, then stepped up to me, completely ignoring Aaron.

  “I don’t know who you are, or what kind of game you’re playing, but you’re barking up the wrong tree. My wife is off-limits! You need to know that I intend to watch her every move. If I think you’re going to be a problem for me, I will get rid of you. And please don’t take that as a threat; it’s a promise.”

  Saying nothing else, in what appeared to be the routine around here, he walked away.

  Aaron yelled for Lela’s husband to come back and explain himself, and started to move in his direction. I reached for his arm.

  “Honey, don’t. I have no clue what that man was talking about. Maybe he had me mixed up with someone else. Just ... Just let it go, okay?”

  Aaron’s face was twisted and he couldn’t stop looking in the direction of Lela’s husband. “What nerve. I don’t care if he had the wrong person or not, he was out of line for stepping to us like that. I feel sorr
y for whoever his wife is and no woman needs a man who goes around threatening people.”

  “I agree,” I said, trying to get him to the car. “It’s been a long day. What he said in no way interferes with the great day we had here. I’m glad I came with you and I’m looking forward to what the night has in store for us.”

  Aaron released a deep breath and his anger subsided. He said nothing else about Lela’s husband and that was a good thing. I wasn’t afraid of her husband at all, but I was skeptical about calling Lela. Seemed like the last thing she needed was more trouble, and there was no doubt that any kind of relationship with me would start something that neither of us was ready for.

  I was so sure of it, and the reason why was because of the feelings I had as Aaron lay on top of me that night. I’d been having them ever since I’d met Lela, and when Aaron’s hand took a light squeeze at my chocolate firm breast, I replaced it with her hand. When his tongue rolled down my chest and dipped into my sweaty belly button, I wished it was hers exploring me as he was. I counted on his dick to rescue me from my thoughts of Lela, but as soon as he plunged into me, my eyes shot open. I felt her fingers inside of me, and with each thrust, I could not escape my racing thoughts, as my heart pounded against my chest. In pure darkness, tears welled in my eyes because it was now that I realized Aaron couldn’t give me what I desired to have. Possibly, only Lela could.

  Wasting no time, I contacted Lela the next day. I left a message for her to return my call, which came on a Tuesday afternoon as I was going over some decorating ideas with a client of mine at my small office on Washington Avenue. I didn’t want to be rude, but I was anxious to find out if or when Lela wanted to hook up.

  “I can’t talk long,” I said. “But can I call you back or would you like to meet somewhere we can talk and have dinner?”

  “What about Longhorn Steakhouse in Fairview Heights? Can you meet me there around six-thirty or seven?”

  “Seven would be fine. See you later.”

  Lela hung up, and for the rest of the afternoon, I felt extremely upbeat. That was, until Aaron called, asking if I would stop by his headquarters to help out for a few hours.

  “I just need you to do some cold calling for me. You’ve been so successful with doing it, and I can’t really say that I have anyone else in the office who knows how to communicate with callers better than you do.”

  I felt horrible, because I had never told Aaron that I wouldn’t be able to help him. I knew the reason why I couldn’t and that surely didn’t make me feel good. “You should have called me earlier, honey. I have to meet with a client at six and I don’t know how long it’s going to take me. She lives all the way in O’Fallon, Missouri, so I doubt that I’ll be finished by ten. I’ll stop by tomorrow to make those calls, and if you want me to, I’ll do so all day.”

  Aaron was the kind of person who wanted things when he wanted them. I heard the sigh over the phone, but he said that tomorrow would be fine.

  “Are you sure?” I asked.

  “I guess. I really don’t have any choice, do I? I’ll have to ask Beverly, even though she chews gum and often gets too personal on the phone sometimes.”

  “Sorry. Tomorrow, though, okay? See you early tomorrow.”

  “All right, Sky. Enjoy your evening.”

  “You too.”

  I hurried to find something to wear for my dinner with Lela tonight, as I had no intentions of being late. And by the time I finished getting dressed, I still had forty-five minutes to get there. I decided to wear a mustard-colored halter dress that went all the way down to my ankles. The color meshed well with my silky chocolate skin, and instead of putting my hair in a bun, I let it fall on my shoulders. Momma said that the bun made me look older, and I was starting to believe her. Leaving my hair down did make me look sexier and so did the way I had done up my eyes. They were already round and pretty, but I extended my lashes with Cover Girl mascara. My brows had been plucked and arched to perfection. A hint of nude lip gloss covered my full lips and as I smacked them together, I was finally ready to go.

  I arrived at Longhorn almost fifteen minutes early. To my surprise, Lela was already there. She stood up and greeted me at the door.

  “Hello, Sky,” she said, walking closer to give me a hug. “Good seeing you.”

  “Same here,” I replied. I was a little nervous, so I quickly backed away from our embrace. She took a few steps back to check me out. At first, her eyes shot to my meaty breasts that slightly poked out of my halter. A silver necklace Aaron had purchased for me dangled between my cleavage. I was surprised when she reached for it.

  “This is pretty,” she said, looking at it. “And by the way, you look nice. I mean really nice. You’ll have to excuse me for not getting so dressed up, as I’ve gotten used to being kind of dressed down.”

  Lela wore a pair of faded jeans with a button-down pink polo shirt that was tucked inside of the jeans. A white tank shirt was underneath and a black belt was around her waist. Her braids flowed a few inches past her shoulders, and to me, with no makeup at all, she looked awesome. No doubt, she was blessed with natural beauty.

  “If you say so. I’m just glad you’re on time,” I said with a chuckle. “I hate waiting on people and it was a relief to see you sitting there.”

  “Now you know we don’t play that late stuff. I’m taught to be on time for everything I do and the people I work with, and for, will have it no other way.”

  The waiter interrupted our conversation, letting us know that a table was ready. She sat us at a booth, then told us that another waiter would be with us shortly.

  Lela got comfortable in her seat, but I did notice her looking around the restaurant. I intended to inquire about that later, but for now, I had to get rid of the nervous feeling inside of me that kept coming and going. As I found myself looking off too, Lela cleared her throat.

  “Can I say something to you, just to kind of break the ice here?” she asked. I nodded. “Please don’t be nervous around me. Be yourself, and before we are anything, we can become friends first. I would really like that and it’s so important for me to make sure you’re at ease.”

  “I ... I am, but it’s just that ...”

  “Being in the company of a woman you’re attracted to makes you nervous? I know and I get that. I assume that this may be your first time pursuing your feelings for a woman, right?”

  “Sort of. I mean, it’s not the first time I’ve had feelings for another woman, but you would be correct in saying that I haven’t agreed to anything like this, especially without recognizing that my feelings may lead to something else.”

  “Let’s hope that they do. I’m never afraid to tell anyone how I feel about them, man or woman. So here it is, Miss Sky. I think you’re sexy as hell, and the first time I saw you at the community center I wanted you. If you didn’t come to me to introduce yourself that night, I would have definitely come to you. I had noticed you as soon as you walked in with Mr. Anderson. I watched you for most of the night, noticing that you had something heavy on your mind. All I can say is I’m glad it was me.”

  “Me too,” I said in a whisper. My eyes sparkled with amusement, as Lela had put it out there. I was delighted to know that we had been on the same page that night. Before I responded, I waited until the waiter came to take our orders. He said he’d be back with our margaritas and Wild West Shrimp.

  “So,” I said, “if you were watching me all night, don’t you think your husband noticed? Maybe that’s why he left so abruptly, and before I go any further, I wanted to tell you that he approached me at the base on Saturday. I don’t know any of the details of your marriage, but he says that he’s keeping his eyes on you. Basically, he told me not to get involved and threatened me if I did.”

  “Sky, William is all bark and no bite. He knows that I’ve fallen out of love with him, and he’s trying to save a marriage that is beyond repair. He’s refused to give me a divorce, and to be honest with you, the only reason that we stay together i
s for show. We are respected by so many people on that base and high expectations have been set for both of us as we move up the ranks. I think a divorce will happen, but not as soon as I would like for it to.”

  It seemed so soon to discuss all of this, but if I intended to involve myself with Lela, and possibly screw up my relationship with Aaron, I had to know a few more things. “Other than your husband, are you involved with anyone else right now?”

  “I was, for almost a year, but things didn’t work out.”

  “Male or female and can I ask why the two of you are not together?”

  She smiled and pulled her braids over to the side to rest on her shoulder. “You sure have a lot of questions, Sky. I hope you’re prepared to answer some of mine.”

  “No problem. Anything you want to know, just ask.”

  The waiter brought our drinks to the table, and after bringing back two more, I was feeling tipsy. Being that way made me loose and bubbly. Lela was too and our conversation started flowing as if we’d known each other for quite some time. I found out that Lela had been involved with several females before. According to her, she had been interested in the same sex since her early teens, but had faced many challenges along the way. And even though she was married, she recognized that it was doomed from the beginning. Trying to hide her feelings had hurt so many, and was now hurting her husband.

  “If he knows how you feel about women, why won’t he just let you go? That’s unless you like men, too.”

  “I like men, but I have little desire to be with them sexually. I only go there with my husband to please him, but deep down, he knows how I feel. All I can say is don’t enter into a marriage, especially if you’re sure that you have feelings for women. You will only hurt Mr. Anderson and you don’t want to betray or deceive him like that. Even if nothing happens between us, you shouldn’t commit to a marriage unless you’re one hundred percent sure he’s who you want to spend the rest of your life with.”