Don't Ask, Don't Tell

by M. T. Pope

  Orpheus ignored his wife and said to Reva, “I’m waiting, young lady.”

  “I can make her something else,” Li Yeng said, standing humbly over the little girl’s shoulder.

  “No, you will not, Li Yeng,” Orpheus said firmly. “You’ve spent all day making this perfectly delicious meal and either she is going to eat it or she’s going to leave the table.

  Reva looked from her father to her mother then back to her father, whose eyes were now squinting angrily. She let out a huff and pushed her chair backward, causing a screeching noise on the hardwood floor.

  “Fine,” she said, skirting around Li Yeng. “I’d rather starve than eat that.”

  “Orpheus, don’t you think you’re overreacting?” Raven said calmly. “The girl doesn’t like pork.”

  “That’s not the point,” Orpheus said with his teeth clenched. “She has to learn how to make her wishes known without disrespecting other people. No one was put on this earth to serve her.”

  “But Li Yeng is our—”

  “Stop right there, Raven,” Orpheus interrupted. “Li Yeng is a trusted and valuable employee. She is not our servant.”

  “I wasn’t going to say servant,” Raven snapped, slamming her napkin on the table. “I was going to say cook. Li Yeng, would you please excuse us.”

  “Yes, ma’am, I’m sorry if I did something wrong.”

  As Li Yeng walked to the door she saw Little’O looking up at her. The two exchanged almost imperceptible smiles.

  “No need to apologize, Li Yeng. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Orpheus said, looking directly at Raven. “The dinner is perfect. Thank you and I apologize for Reva’s behavior.”

  Li Yeng quietly exited the room, leaving Little’O sitting silently with his parents. Steam rose between the three from the potatoes and vegetables. Raven and Orpheus eyes were locked across the table.

  “What is wrong with you, Orpheus?” Raven finally said. “Is this about last night?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Raven replied.

  “Not in front of Little’O, Raven,” Orpheus said through clinched teeth.

  “Why? Are you embarrassed?”

  “Embarrassed about what?” Orpheus said with a puzzled expression.

  “You don’t want your son to hear that his father is afraid of being vice president.”

  “That’s not true!” Little’O shouted to his mother. “My father isn’t afraid of anything. Tell her, Dad.” Little’O looked desperately to his father.

  “That’s right, Little’O,” Orpheus said, still looking at Raven. “Your father isn’t afraid of anything. The real problem is your mother has an insatiable need to control everyone and everything around her.”

  “No, son, your mother only wants what’s best for her husband and her family,” Raven said coldly.

  “And your mother seems to think she is the only one who knows what’s best.”

  “I’m not going to let you screw this up, Orpheus,” Raven said, bounding from her seat. “This opportunity will come to you only once in your lifetime. You owe it to your children and to me to not let it pass. Little’O, please tell your father how proud you would be if he were vice president.”

  Orpheus and Raven never took their eyes off of each other. Little’O looked up at his mother but did not respond.

  “Don’t say anything you don’t feel, son. You have a mind of your own and I expect you to use it.”

  “What is going on, Orpheus?” Raven asked. “Why are you being so irrational about this? What are you afraid of? This is something we’ve worked for our entire lives.”

  “Wrong, Raven. It’s something you’ve worked for your entire life. This is about you. Everything you’ve done since the day we married has been about you. You are the center of the universe and everyone else simply orbits around your star. I’ve only worked to be a good officer and a good American, which is what I have achieved.”

  “A good American would not turn down the opportunity to serve his country in the highest office in the land.”

  “Second highest,” he said scornfully.

  “You know exactly what I mean.”

  Little’O watched the volley of words between his parents like a ball on a tennis court. Each biting observation was delivered with a stone face and icy glare. Raven attacked him from every possible angle—the good of the children, patriotism, courage—but Orpheus was intractable. She was running out of options.

  “I know exactly what you mean,” Orpheus responded, finally breaking his gaze. “Raven Roulette has made up her mind and nothing will change it. Not even her husband’s wishes.”

  The only arguments left for Raven were the race card and God, and the race care hardly seemed appropriate. With lightning speed her Harvard-trained mind formulated her next move.

  “Honey,” she said in a non-combative tone. “If it’s God’s will for you to be vice president, who are you to say no?”

  After the military, religion was the one constant in Orpheus’s life. Regardless of what army base his father had been stationed at in the world, Orpheus’s mother always insisted they attend a church every Sunday. In the Philippines it was the Malabon International Baptist Church. In Germany it had been Hannover International Bible Church. Tokyo Baptist Church in China had served as their temporary place of worship.

  Even as a young boy, religion had helped Orpheus make sense of a world filled with hate, destruction, and war. In the context of a higher power and an orderly universe, the cruelty he saw around him had a purpose. It didn’t matter that he didn’t know what that purpose was. What mattered was that someone out there knew. Even if that someone was a faceless being who stopped speaking directly to his creation after the last word of the Book of Revelation was written.

  “You’ve got to believe in something, OJ,” his father had said to him on many occasions. “If you don’t you’ll end up blowing in the wind like tumbleweed in a desert storm.”

  The notion of God allowed him to be the man he was and his faith allowed him to be a soldier.

  “How can you turn your back on this if it’s God’s will?” Raven said, firing the last round in her arsenal.

  Little’O’s eyes landed squarely on his father. The room was silent for what seemed an eternity. Raven waited anxiously to learn if the last bullet had penetrated the heart of her prey. She could tell by the slight twitch of his hand that she had made contact. But was it fatal? Would the blood that signified surrender pour from his veins?

  “Dad,” Little’O said, breaking the silence. “If it’s God’s will, would you do it?”

  Bull’s-eye, Raven thought.

  Orpheus looked lovingly to his son and said, “Yes, little soldier. If it’s God’s will, I would do it.”

  Orpheus, Raven, and Little’O ate dinner together in silence. Little’O was the first to leave the table. “May I be excused now?” he said, while simultaneously rising out of his seat, and quickly retreated to his room. Li Yeng cleared the plates, washed the dishes, and left quietly through the back door.

  “It’s been a long day,” Raven said, standing from the table. “I’m going to bed early.”

  “That’s fine,” Orpheus said without looking at her. “I’ll be sleeping in my study tonight.”

  Reva remained locked in the cocoon of her pink and lavender room the entire evening. Her voice could only be heard through the door. “Please leave me alone,” she replied sharply to a tap on the door from her mother. “I’m studying my lines.”

  “Okay, honey,” Raven said to the oak door. “I love you.”

  Raven spent the evening huddled in front of the computer screen in her bedroom. By 11:00 she was an expert on Secretary of State Victor R. Trugonoff. Orpheus closed the door to his office and only exited once to relieve himself in the downstairs bathroom. Raven could hear the creaks in the hardwood floor but resisted the urge to go downstairs.

  A stack of folders was piled
on his desk, all of which were stamped in bold red letters with either “CONFIDENTIAL,” “CLASSIFIED,” “TOP SECRET,” or “RESTRICTED” on the covers. The country’s military secrets were laid out in front of him. Afghanistan, Libya, and Iran could keep no secrets from General Orpheus Beauregard Roulette III. The pros and cons of assassinating leaders who posed threats to the United States and the strengths and weaknesses of American troops abroad were outlined in great detail for the few men in the country who “needed to know.” Orpheus was one of those men.

  Gifted with a photographic memory, Orpheus easily absorbed the contents of each file. The only distractions were the occasional thoughts of the tense exchange over dinner and Kiss-n-tell.

  Orpheus had never had a physical relationship with a man and was repulsed by the public display of affection between men he often saw on the streets of San Francisco. Not because they were holding hands or kissing but because they were doing it out in the open for all the world to see. He appreciated the male body and was routinely exposed to it at the height of its perfection in the military.

  Bodies that had been transformed into lean, muscular fighting machines by months of rigorous training in boot camp. Confident, strong, and chiseled bodies were paraded in front of him on a regular basis for his approval. Men standing at attention and saluting whenever he entered a room or passed them on the base. Over the years, his appreciation gradually turned into attraction to the point that he even sometimes thought of them while he was making love to his wife.

  As an adolescent he, like so many other boys at that age, would become aroused at the site of a naked man. He sometimes glimpsed at his father’s perfect body when he exited the shower or walked through the house in only his military-issued white boxer shorts. He consciously suppressed those feelings, which embarrassed him, and they gradually gave way to the blossoming, giggling young girls on the bases who pursued him because of his solid frame, good looks, and prominent military pedigree.

  Life had rushed on and the feelings took a back seat to his career and eventual marriage to a person he considered to be one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen. The children were born and promotions came in rapid succession but only occasionally would an attractive saluting cadet or uniformed Adonis catch his eye. A pattern had developed that even Orpheus didn’t notice. Whenever he felt overly pressured or manipulated by Raven, the thoughts seemed to surface, and coincidentally there would happen to be one particular man who would be the center of his latent fantasy.

  When she hounded him relentlessly to accept the assignment in Iraq it had been the swarthy onyx private who drove him to the base each morning. When she pressured him to move off base and purchase the $2.3 million home in the Presidio, it was the tanned real estate agent whose $500 jeans seemed to be painted on his muscular body. The men would creep into his thoughts throughout the day. He never touched them or gave any indication that he found them attractive, but he made love to them in his dreams—or when he was intimate with Raven.

  It was midnight. Orpheus closed the last file on the desk and turned off the lamp. The room was dark except for the glow from the computer screen. Without thinking, his hands moved to the keyboard where he typed “www.mansdate.com.” The familiar images of half-dressed men appeared on the screen and he immediately logged into the chat room.

  The usual abbreviated chatter rolled across the screen. He checked the roster of people in the room and saw Kiss-n-tell near the bottom of the list.

  Then the words appeared, “good evening generalone.”

  Generalone: hello kiss-n-tell. how are you?

  Kiss-n-tell: better now that you’re here.

  Generalone: you always say the right thing.

  Kiss-n-tell: how was your day?

  The ticker tape of communications from others in the room appeared between their messages. By all indications, it was another lonely night for many men in the city.

  Generalone: tough

  Kiss-n-tell: sorry to hear that. wanna talk about it?

  Generalone: not here

  Kiss-n-tell: let’s go to a private room. pick one at the top of the screen and I’ll meet you there.

  Orpheus for the first time saw the private room option at the top of the screen. He clicked and entered. Seconds later Kiss-n-tell entered the room.

  Kiss-n-tell: this is better. i can have you all to myself.

  Generalone: much.

  Kiss-n-tell: so tell me about your day. what was so bad?

  Generalone: just under a lot of pressure 2 take a job i’m not sure that i’m qualified for.

  Kiss-n-tell: pressure from who?

  Generalone: from someone who can be very persuasive

  Kiss-n-tell: no 1 can make u do something u don’t want to.

  Generalone: true, but it’s a little more complicated than that.

  Kiss-n-tell: im listening.

  Generalone: part of me wants the job.

  Kiss-n-tell: and the other part?

  Generalone: the other part isn’t sure if im qualified.

  Kiss-n-tell: what kind of job is it?

  Orpheus abruptly leaned away from the screen. I walked right into that one. He tried to think of the best way to answer the question. The seconds ticked away like the timer on Jeopardy! He expected to hear a buzzer at any moment.

  Generalone: the number two man in a pretty large corporation.

  Good answer, good answer! he thought proudly.

  Kiss-n-tell: im sure you’ll make the right decision but don’t let anyone pressure you.

  Generalone: thank you. enough about me. what’s your name?

  Kiss-in-tell: david and your’s?

  Generalone: michael

  Kiss-n-tell: nice to meet you michael.

  Generalone: what do you do?

  Kiss-n-tell: im a photographer.

  Generalone: really. of what?

  Kiss-n-tell: mostly fashion layouts and catalogs.

  Generalone: sounds interesting

  Kiss-n-tell: if you think telling models all day how beautiful they are is interesting, then yes it is.

  Generalone: could be a lot worse.

  Kiss-n-tell: true

  Generalone: just noticed the time. you must be tired.

  Kiss-n-tell: a little

  Generalone: then we ought to say good night.

  Kiss-n-tell: ok

  Generalone: i enjoy chatting with you david. i always feel better afterward.

  Kiss-n-tell: i was thinking the same thing about you.

  Generalone: do you think it’s possible to love someone you’ve never met?

  Kiss-n-tell: why, are you falling in love with me?

  Generalone: LOL ... maybe

  Kiss-n-tell: do you think we’ll ever meet in person.

  Generalone: i would like nothing better.

  Kiss-in-tell: then let’s make it happen.

  Chapter 6

  The morning rush-hour traffic on Market Street was bumper to bumper. MUNI buses competed with a tightly woven blanket of cars, cyclists, and pedestrians. The traffic lights flashed green, yellow, then red in attempts to bring a semblance of order to the morning chaos. Horns blared from drivers who were already wound tight for their day in the city.

  Raven maneuvered her silver Jeep Laredo in and out of traffic. It was 7:46 and Reva had to be in her seat in class at eight o’clock sharp.

  “Mother, I’m going to be late,” Reva huffed. “Why are you stopping for every pedestrian?”

  “Because it’s the law, honey,” Raven said patiently as she changed lanes for the third time in one block. “In California you have to stop if a person is in the crosswalk.”

  At 7:58 Raven stopped the car in front of the main entrance to Reva’s school. A long line of Mercedes, Lexuses, Range Rovers, and other SUVs similar to hers deposited a school full of expensively dressed, cranky adolescents for another day of reading, writing, arithmetic, and fashion.

  “Have a good—” Raven said to the slamming car door. She watc
hed as her daughter fell in step with a group of giggling blond-haired, blue-eyed girls who instantly complimented her on her awesome choice of outfit for the day.

  Raven waved good morning to several other relieved parents as she merged back into traffic. Another group of freshly scrubbed teenagers passed slowly in front of cars at the next intersection. As she waited with all the other irritated drivers for the group to pass, her telephone, which was perched in a holder on the dashboard, rang. The caller ID read, “Unknown Caller.”

  Raven never allowed her telephones to go unanswered. Even if she was on another call she would always put the person on hold and respond to the incoming call.

  “Hello,” she said after pressing the answer button on the hands-free device.

  “Raven, good morning, my dear. It’s Victor Trugonoff. I hope I’m not calling you too early.”

  Victor’s voice boomed from the car speakers and filled the interior of the SUV.

  “Not at all, Vic,” she replied as the children finally passed in front of her to the curb. “I just dropped off my daughter at school. It’s nice to hear from you. Thank you again for the lovely lunch.”

  “It was my pleasure, dear. I’m sorry I had to cut it short.”

  “No need to apologize, I understood.”

  “I was hoping you would be free to join me this afternoon and take me up on my offer to show you my little boat. I know it’s short notice, but it’s turning out to be such a beautiful day that I decided to spend some time on it today. I have the damned thing,” Trugonoff’s voice bounced off the windows, “I might as well enjoy it when I can. And nothing would make me happier than if you would enjoy it with me.”

  Raven was surprised that the invitation had come so quickly after their lunch. She remembered Carol’s words at the tennis club. “Be careful, honey. You’re dealing with big boys now and they can play rough.”

  “Victor, I’m not sure if I can do it today,” Raven responded hesitantly. “My day is already pretty full.”

  The speakers were silent for a moment. Raven feared she had offended one of the ten most powerful men in the country. “Victor,” she said to the silent speakers. “Are you still there?”