He smiled, and her stomach did a flip.
“I like those too. What about music?”
She looked down, music had been forbidden. Unless it was specific church hymns that had only been allowed to be sung without instruments. “I’ve never gotten into music much.”
“Oh, that’s a shame. I love something with a good beat to it. Sometimes dancing is a great way to let loose.”
Dancing had been even more taboo than music when she’d been growing up and while she’d tried it a few times as a teen, she’d always been so self-conscious she’d never been able to enjoy it like the other kids seemed to. She didn’t know what to say to his comment, so she’d stayed quiet. Maggie appeared pushing a small cart, she served them each a plate then added water glasses and asked if they’d like anything else to drink, leaving only after they’d both declined.
“Okay, back to movies. What’s the last thing you saw in a theater?”
She looked at him, eyes wide. She’d been in a theater exactly once. On a date. The boy had tried to stick his hand up her shirt, she’d slapped him and left before the movie was even half over. She couldn’t even remember what the movie was.
“Have you ever been to a theater?”
“Once,” she admitted. She didn’t want to tell him the whole story but at the same time, she wasn’t going to lie, instead she just hoped he’d let it drop. “It was a long time ago.”
“What was the last movie you saw?”
Relief washed through her when he didn’t push. “Overboard.” She smiled as she remembered the movie. It had been so outlandish it had made her laugh over and over.
“The new one?”
She shook her head. “The original. I didn’t know until after I’d seen this one that there was a second. Have you seen it?”
“Which one?”
“Either.”
“I saw the original a long time ago, but not recently, I’ve not seen the new one yet. Would you like to see it?”
She thought about it a moment, but hadn’t answered yet when he spoke again.
“We can go in the media room and watch it if you like.”
“Do you have it?”
“I don’t, but I have no doubt I can get it.” He smiled and took a bite.
Janie shook her head and turned her attention to the plate in front of her. She took a bite, barely paying any attention to what she was eating as all her attention was on the man seated next to her. She didn’t know why, but when he was near, he seemed become the center of whatever was going on. Was it because it was his house, his ranch? That he was the boss here? She didn’t know but she was intrigued.
“A movie sounds nice.”
They both fell quiet as they finished eating, but it was a comfortable silence with only the light clinking of flatware on their dishes and the sounds of the men in the next room in the back ground.
Chapter 13
After dinner, Alex was tempted to start the movie for Janie and leave her to watch it while he retreated to his sanctuary of computers. He didn’t need to get involved with her. He didn’t want to. He was better off alone. That’s what he told himself as he found the movie and started it. They sat on opposite ends of the sofa facing the TV and as the opening scene flashed across the screen he found himself wishing she wasn’t so far away.
He watched her more than the comedy on the large screen in front of them. She was more intriguing. More of a question. More attractive than the blonde trying to make a living on the screen. She laughed at something, he hadn’t caught what and her eyes lit. Her voice seemed to reach deep inside him and stoke a fire he’d believed was long extinguished.
Janie never seemed to notice he was watching her, or if she did, she ignored it. From her body language, her relaxed manner and open reactions, he didn’t think she knew. When she was aware of his attention she seemed to draw inside herself, to hold back her every reaction.
Alex hated seeing it and wondered what had happened to her to make her like this. He wondered if it was just him or if it was everyone, then a third possibility occurred to him. Maybe it was just men? Hmm… He’d suspected before that she’d come from an Amish community, but maybe it wasn’t Amish, maybe it was more than that, something more sinister.
He tried to remember details about different reclusive groups he’d heard about. There had been talk of several over the last few years and details about them blurred together in his memory They had to be at least semi-reclusive for some of the things she’d said. Having been trained to be a good wife. Being willing to kneel before him or even take a beating if that was what he wanted. Then the part about having only been to a theater once, she’d seemed reluctant to talk about that, He’d been curious but let it drop. Now, he made a mental note to look them up and see what he could come up with. Maybe he could figure it out.
Her laughter brought him back to the present. His Janie was still absorbed in the movie and enjoying it. He pushed thoughts of where she’d come from out of his head. He’d worry about that later. A glance at the clock told him the movie was almost over. It didn’t take long, then she turned to find him watching her and he watched as she seemed to retreat into herself, though not as far as before.
Maybe she was getting used to him.
Again, he wished away the distance between them. He ached to lean close and taste her lips. See if her reaction to that would be as open an honest as they had been to the movie.
“Thank you.” Her words made him realize he’d been staring at her mouth.
“For what?” He hadn’t done anything more than sit here obsessing about her the whole time.
“For the movie. I enjoyed it.”
“I could tell. I’m glad you liked it.” He glanced across the room. “It’s early yet. We have time for another movie if you’d like.”
“Really?” Her eyes lit. “You’d be willing to sit through another?”
“I would.” He couldn’t help the smile that crept across his face. “But even if I wasn’t, you don’t need me to sit here with you. You’re welcome to watch whatever you like, whenever you like.”
Her face fell. “I don’t know how.”
Alex hated seeing that look. Luckily, this time he knew just how to fix it.
“Then scoot over here and I’ll show you.”
Alex spent the next ten minutes teaching Janie how to use the remote and the satellite service to find what she wanted to watch. When they were done, and she’d settled on another movie to start he stood.
“Where are you going? I thought we were going to watch this?”
“We will. I will be right back. I need to use the john.”
She nodded and turned back to the screen. Alex did go use the restroom, then ducked into his office and grabbed his tablet. Carrying the small computer, he went back to the media room and sat back down, glad to find that Janie hadn’t moved back to the far end of the sofa in his absence. He turned on the device and thought for a moment what search terms he should put in looking for her past, then thought better of it. She was sitting right there and could see what he was doing. It would be better to wait.
“Do you have any hobbies?”
“What do you mean?” she asked without looking away from the screen.
“Things you enjoy doing, just because you enjoy them. Like reading.”
She turned and looked at him with a frown. “I don’t know.”
Alex picked up the remote and paused the movie. She wouldn’t want to miss anything, and he could tell, this was going to take a few minutes.
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I’ve never had time for a hobby,” she said lifting one shoulder. “Even reading. I enjoy it but first it wasn’t allowed, then I didn’t have much time.”
“Wasn’t allowed?”
Janie shook her head. “Tell me more about these hobbies people do.”
“It can be pretty much anything you enjoy doing. Some people play sports, like golf or basketball. I spend time i
n the gym upstairs, go out on one of the quads, or spend time online.”
“Quad?” Her brow creased, and her head tilted just slightly to one side.
“A four-wheeler. Kind of like a motorcycle with four wheels. I’ll take you out tomorrow if you like. It’s fun.”
“It sounds like it.”
“Have you ever been on a motorcycle?”
“I was always too scared.”
“I’ll teach you. You’ll be safe with me.”
“Thank you.” She fell silent a moment. “Will you teach me to drive too?”
“You never learned how to drive?”
“My foster parents didn’t see the point in letting me get a license. They said it would only cost them more in insurance. After that, I never had the money for a car, so I never learned.”
He was quiet a moment, letting what she’d said sink in. Foster parents. No money. “Janie, how old are you?”
She froze then, her eyes widened, and her breath came in shallow gasps. “I’m twenty-two.” She paused, then spoke again, her voice even softer. “Is that a problem.”
“No, I was just curious.”
“Can I ask how old you are?”
The undamaged corner of his mouth tilted up. “Twenty-eight.”
“And all this,” she looked around at the huge, luxurious media room. “Is it from your family?”
“No. I grew up what most would call middle class. We had everything we needed, but not necessarily everything we wanted. At eighteen I followed by brother into the Army. That’s where I got this.” He motioned to the scarred side of his face.
“I can’t believe they gave you all this because of your injuries, were they that severe?” she seemed concerned, not just ghoulishly curious or nosy.
“No, the military didn’t give me any of this. At least not for getting hurt.”
She frowned, obviously confused. He looked across the room, not wanting to watch her reactions as he told his story.
“I like to play online. By play I don’t mean games, though I’ll let myself get distracted by them occasionally. I like to play in places I shouldn’t be. After I was hurt I hid online more than before. I found a weakness in the military’s security system. I didn’t tell them right away, and I’m lucky they didn’t lock me up and throw away the key for that. Anyway, I think the only thing that saved my worthless hide was that I didn’t tell anyone else either. Instead I kept it to myself and developed a new system, one that would not just keep things secure, but would also alert to any kind of unauthorized breach.” He took a breath and looked at her.
She was watching him, a deep scowl marring her face.
“What?”
“I don’t like you calling yourself worthless. I was called that every day until I got away. It took me a long time to realize they were wrong. I don’t like you saying it about yourself.”
Well damn. If she’d yelled or railed at him about it, told him he wasn’t worthless then he’d have had an argument. She barely knew him. It had been what? Eight, ten hours? But she hadn’t. She’d managed to find a way to get him to try to stop calling himself worthless.
“I’m sorry. It’s a habit that I’ll try to break.” He hated seeing the sad look that haunted her eyes as she’d told him that one simple thing about her childhood. Again, he thought that if he met the people who had done this to her, there’d be hell to pay.
“Thank you.” She brought one hand up and cupped the smooth, unscarred side of his face. Her hand was soft and he wanted to lean into it, to hold it against him. Instead he leaned toward her, slowly, giving her the chance to turn away or say no. He watched her face as he slowly closed in on her, waiting for unease or disgust to cross her face, but it never did. When his lips touched hers, her eyes drifted closed and her mouth opened beneath his. Oh, so soft. And sweet. She tasted like fresh strawberry ice cream. He lost himself for a moment in her taste. When he realized what he was doing and drew back, his hand was buried in her hair and they were both breathing hard. He shouldn’t have done that. Not if he was going to keep this temporary. He would lose control and get too close then it would only hurt more when things fell apart. But was he sure they would fall apart? Alex had a hard time dismissing that voice in the back of his head. Was he sure?
“That was nice,” Janie said after a she’d figured out how to breath normally again. “I didn’t know kissing could feel so nice.”
Damn, but her education was sorely lacking. And I’m just the person to teach her. There was that voice again. The one he knew he should ignore. He didn’t know if he had what it would take.
“Is that because you’ve never been kissed or just never been kissed right?”
She blushed. “The first one.”
If she’d never been kissed did that mean she’d never? The only way to find out was to ask.
“Janie, are you a virgin?” He should have softened that, but he wasn’t sure how. Better to know either way.
He didn’t think it was possible, but her blushed darkened. She didn’t say a word, only nodded. His cock jumped in his jeans. Down boy. This changed everything. Damn. How could he live here with her for months, her sexy curves, her innocent looks, her honest responses to his touch, and not take what was being offered? Now if he did, he’d have to keep her. He couldn’t use her and turn her out. Not someone as sweet and naïve as she was.
She’d taken to looking down at her hands fiddling with each other in her lap, as if she was worried she’d somehow said something wrong. No, it hadn’t been wrong. Not exactly. It had just complicated things. Still. Alex would figure it out.
“I’m sorry.” Her voice was so soft and meek it made him want to hit something. Again. He hadn’t needed to hit the gym twice in one day in a long time, now he wished he could. But now wasn’t the time.
“Janie, look at me.” He waited. Two seconds. Five. Finally, after almost ten full seconds stretched between them in silence she turned and looked at him.
“It’s all right.”
“You’re not mad?”
“Why would I be mad?”
“I — I don’t know. You just seemed so angry for a moment.”
“I was, for just a moment, but not at you. You’ve not done anything since you stepped off the plane to anger me in anyway. Intrigue me, yes, turn me on, hell yes, but not anger me.”
“Then why are you mad?”
“Baby, a lot of things anger me these days. I’ve been mad for a long time.” He sighed. “Sometimes I wonder if I know how not to be mad anymore. But you? You make me think maybe there’s hope for me yet.” He lifted one hand and smoothed a strand of hair away from her face before running the pad of his thumb along her jaw. “Maybe there’s hope after all.”
Chapter 14
Janie didn’t know what to say. The man sitting beside her made her feel things she’d never known were possible, much less would feel so good. From the way the other girls talked, men only wanted two things from women. Obedience and sex. Alex didn’t seem to care about obedience, at least so far. And unlike the men she’d seen married before she’d left her parent’s group, he hadn’t dragged her to their bedroom right after the ceremony and kept her there for hours.
Then she hadn’t known what happened behind those closed doors, only that when they finally came out, the women, well girls of only sixteen or seventeen, looked different. Somehow broken. She’d never wanted to experience that. That she’d been closing in on old enough to be married and her father had started talking about finding her an ‘appropriate’ husband, had terrified her.
After Janie had escaped, both while she’d been in foster care and after, she’d learned. She’d sought out the information, it had been easy to find. Both the mechanics and more fanciful details from the romance novels she managed to get her hands on. Neither had prepared her for the feelings rushing through her when Alex kissed her. Everything she’d heard or read fled from her mind and all that had remained was him. His touch, his lips on hers.
Then he’d asked if she was a virgin. The words embarrassed her, but she didn’t think that much of it, half the women in romance novels were virgins. From what she’d read, the men seemed to like that. She’d thought he would be pleased. The fire in his eyes and the set of his jaw said otherwise. She’d instantly been thrown back to when she’d been a teenager, in trouble again.
His voice softened as he assured her he wasn't angry at her and the knot of fear in her belly loosened. He’d pushed her hair away from her face and touched her and that ball of fear unraveled completely and turned to heat. She wanted him to touch her again. An unfamiliar ache settled in her chest as she wanted him to kiss her again but was afraid to ask. Instead she just looked up at him, hoping.
He seemed to get the hint, or maybe he just wanted the same thing. His fingers curled around the base of her neck and he leaned close.
“I shouldn’t be doing this but damned if I can help myself.” His mouth was on hers again and she kissed him back to the best she could, she really had no idea what she was doing. Her arms came up, one hooked around his neck while the other came up and cupped his face. His scars oddly smooth and rough at the same time. She didn’t care. It was him and that was all that mattered.
Alex’s arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her up onto his lap. She went, she didn’t care where she sat as long as he didn’t stop kissing her. His hand slipped beneath the back of her shirt and pressed against her lower back. The heat of his skin felt so good. She groaned into his mouth.
His hand slid up her back and pressed her closer until her breasts flattened against his chest. Janie could only think of more. She was lost in the sensations she’d never experienced before.
She was breathless when Alex broke away. She didn’t know what to do. He tugged her hand away from his face then trailed his mouth along the side of her neck. Emotions swirled through her. She was rapidly losing the ability to think. She tugged at his shirt. She wanted to put her hands on his skin. On the honed back and rippled muscles she’d seen earlier.
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