by Amelia Judd
“Is that your way of telling me to butt out?”
“No,” she sighed. “I’m happy to talk about my baby. Just not anyone else involved.”
“He’s not … coming back?”
Kat shook her head and sniffed. Oh, hell. Here come the waterworks. She wiped at the gathering tears and sniffed even louder. “Sorry. Hormones.”
John swore under his breath, quickly kneeled in front of her, and took her hands in his. “I can’t stand seeing you hurting like this. Let me take care of you. You don’t have to be alone anymore.”
“It’s not your responsibility.”
“Bullshit,” he tightened his grip on her hands. “If someone I care about is hurting, and I can do something about it, then I damn well better do it.”
“I know you, John. You want to save everyone and everything you meet. Remember those sickly kittens you insisted on finding homes for in junior high? They were scrawny and had some sort of nasty eye disease. Anyone else would have ignored them or turned them over to an animal shelter. Not you. Nope, you sweet talked Dr. Cambridge into treating them and then went door to door until you found families for each of them.”
“I’d forgotten about that,” he said, chuckling. “And I’m not even a cat person.”
“Exactly! You didn’t love them, but you still felt responsible for them. No way am I going to take advantage of you even if it would make my life easier.”
“But I hate seeing you hurting like this,” John said, his voice a rumble of sincerity.
“I know. That’s one of the reasons you’re such an amazing guy.” Kat pulled her hand from his and traced her finger along his jaw. “But—and this is a big but—you don’t love me,” she said softly.
“Yes, I do,” he argued, his face set in an adorably stubborn expression.
“Okay. Let me rephrase that. You love me like a friend, not a lover.” She smothered a grin. “Want me to prove it to you?”
“Huh?”
Kat cupped his face in her hands and pulled him in for a big smooch on the lips, then sat back to take in his wide-eyed look. “See. No spark.”
“Doesn’t matter. Sparks don’t last. They blind you with brightness for an instant, then they’re gone.” John tucked a strand of hair behind her ear the way Logan used to.
The tender gesture triggered unwanted memories and emotions. She knew time healed all wounds, but time needed to hurry the hell up. She hurt as much today as she did the day he left.
Kat drew in a big breath, expanding her chest in hopes of breaking sadness’s tight grip around her heart. “You don’t know how much I wish I’d fallen for you instead of him. But you deserve more than what you’re willing to settle for.”
“I want to help you.”
She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. “You do help me. You’re a great friend, and that’s exactly what I need.”
John sighed and hugged her back. “He’s a fool.”
“Yeah,” she agreed with a sad laugh. “But for some screwed-up reason, I still love him.”
Three loud knocks drew Kat’s attention to her front door. “I’d better get that,” she said, glancing at the clock on her mantle.
Everyone in her very concerned family had been treating her like she was as fragile as an egg shell since she’d told them about the pregnancy. Whichever one of them was checking up on her tonight must be in a rush. Her door had actually rattled from the pounding.
The demanding knock sounded again before she reached the foyer. “Chill,” she muttered swinging the door open.
Her heart lurched at the sight of the man frozen in place on her doorstep. He was staring at her with a mixed look of trepidation and determination in his crystal-blue eyes.
“Logan, what the hell are you wearing?” She regretted the words the minute they left her mouth. Questioning his wardrobe hadn’t once been on the list of colorful things she’d daydreamed about saying to him since he’d left her.
He blinked in surprise, glanced down at himself, and then back up at her. “Uh, clothes,” he answered with a confused expression.
She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, duh. I meant, why aren’t you wearing a winter coat? Or a hat, boots, or gloves? It’s freezing out, and you’re dressed for a sunny fall day.” She threw her hands up in the air. “You know what? Never mind. You left. I don’t give a shit what you wear. You can freeze your stupid ass off for all I care.” Kat grabbed the door and swung it at him. Hard.
Logan shot his arm out to stop the door from slamming into his face. “We need to talk,” he said, stepping inside. “Alone,” he growled at John standing behind her.
John placed a hand on her shoulder. “Do you want me to get rid of him?”
Logan’s eyes blazed. “Sorry, mate, no one’s getting rid of me.”
“Oh, now you want to stay?” Kat poked Logan in the chest. “Last time, you couldn’t leave fast enough. What changed your mind, big guy?”
Logan stepped closer, looking completely miserable. “Kat, I never—”
In a flash of movement, John’s fist hit Logan’s jaw with a sickening thud. Logan’s head snapped to the side. For a split second, he froze like that, then he turned back and took a step toward John, eyes blazing again.
“Stop!” Kat jumped between the two men and put one hand on each of their chests. “The last thing I need is blood splatters on my freshly painted walls.”
“He deserved it,” John mumbled, rubbing his hand.
“Kat, we need to talk, and we can’t do that with your boyfriend here.”
“The lady has nothing to say to you.” John’s chest pushed harder into her hand as he leaned toward Logan with a sneer.
“That’s none of your damn business.” Logan shot back, stepping toward John.
Kat rolled her eyes again, gave both of their chests an irritated shove, and turned toward John. “I do need to talk to him. It’s okay,” she said with a reassuring smile. “I’ll be fine.”
John stared at her for a long, tense moment. Then he huffed out a resigned sigh. “Call if you need me.” He dropped a kiss on top of her head, gathered his snow gear, and checked his shoulder into Logan’s as he strode out of the house.
Pretending to ignore Logan, Kat shut the door and walked to the kitchen. She could feel him follow her. Ugh. Her body still hummed when he was near. She tore off a couple of paper towels and shoved them at him. “Stop bleeding all over my house.”
Logan grinned and pushed the wad of paper against the blood on his lip. “I’ve missed your warm, affectionate nature, tiger.”
She flipped him off and leaned back against the smooth quartz countertop.
“I deserved that.”
She didn’t argue.
He scanned his gaze down her body and quirked an eyebrow. “Nice hoodie.”
“Yeah. You left a lot of great stuff behind.” She cocked her head and studied him with feigned indifference. “Why are you here?”
He tensed and drew in two quick breaths as if preparing for battle. “I want you to give me a second chance.”
She stared at him. “I thought you didn’t stick. With anyone.”
“I want to. With you,” he said, his body humming with intensity.
The fact that he didn’t mention loving her didn’t go unnoticed. “So why’d you leave?” Her voice cracked with strain, totally negating the cool vibe she was trying so hard to project.
“Thought I couldn’t make you happy long-term.” He turned away to pace her kitchen. “Couldn’t go through that again, so I took off before you came to your bloody senses and told me to get lost.”
“Again?”
Logan stopped pacing and looked at her. “What?”
“You said ‘again.’ What did you mean?”
He snapped his mouth shut and stared at her mutely. She crossed her arms and glared right back. He’d come to her house wanting to talk, so let him talk.
He inhaled slowly, blew it out, and rubbed t
he back of his neck with a distant expression on his face. “I told you about the country club I worked at in Sydney. Well, I dated a rich girl that I met there whose family made more in one week than my mum did in a year.” Logan gave a mirthless laugh. “I didn’t think it mattered to her or her family that I didn’t come from money. Her parents seemed to like me. They even invited me to their fancy parties and introduced me to their rich friends.”
“Did you love her?”
“Thought I did. When I was eighteen, I sold my motorbike to pay for a ring. Planned this whole romantic day for her that ended up with me on one knee.” He paused and scrubbed a hand down his face as if as if trying to wipe away the memory.
“She said no,” Kat finished softly, trying to save Logan from having to say it.
“She thought I was kidding.” His voice and his features were flat, distant, resigned. But he couldn’t hide the deep-rooted pain she saw in his beautiful blue eyes. “She stopped laughing and started apologizing when she realized I was serious. Said she just wanted a little fun before going to university. Said her parents would disown her if she married a guy like me—a guy meant for fun not for the future.”
Logan clenched his fists at his sides and locked his eyes on her, waiting for a response.
Kat tipped her chin up and stared right back at him. Anger filling her chest and hardening her features. “Good,” she snapped.
He jerked back, obviously not expecting that response.
“If you’re looking for sympathy, you came to the wrong person. I’m happy she turned you down. Otherwise … ” She took a step forward and poked him in the chest. “You’d be married to her and living in Australia. And I would’ve never met you.”
His eyes softened at her words. “Tiger, I—”
“I’m not done, big guy.” She drew in a breath and placed her palm over his heart. “I am sorry she hurt you, but I’m frickin’ thrilled she was too damn stupid to realize your kindness, humor, intelligence, and strength made you the perfect guy to have around then, now … forever.”
His jaw clenched with emotion. “I can’t believe you’re defending me.”
“I guess it kinda helps to understand why you won’t commit.”
“After her, I made damn sure my relationships stayed simple.” Intensity edged his voice. “Then you crashed into my life and nothing’s been simple since.”
“You have no idea,” she barely said it. He heard her anyway.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
Before she lost her nerve, Kat stepped back, grabbed the hem of the oversized hoodie, pulled it over her head, and tossed it onto the countertop. She smoothed her hands over the unmistakable baby bump under her stretchy white shirt and took in Logan’s wide-eyed expression.
“I’m pregnant.” She closed her eyes for a beat and fought to control the anxiety rattling around inside of her. “Don’t worry. I have no unrealistic expectations on how this is going to play out. You can be involved as little or as much as you want.”
Logan’s shocked gaze darted from her expanding belly to her face to her belly again. He took a jerky step forward and stopped, clearly unsure what to do next. “How?” he eventually stammered, a wide range of emotions playing across his face.
She quirked an eyebrow in response.
“Fine. I know how it happened.” He scrubbed a hand down his face again and leaned his butt against the kitchen island, looking like he might topple over without the support. “I just don’t know how it happened.”
“Not sure.” She shrugged one shoulder. “Maybe faulty protection, user error, vigorous swimmers able to bust through normal barriers, or … ” She spanned her belly with both hands. “Fate.”
“Fate?” Logan froze for a beat, then his face split into a wide smile. “I like the sound of that.”
She blew out a massive breath as relief flooded through her. “You don’t know how good that is to hear.”
“After I decided to never attempt another serious relationship, I reckoned I’d never be a dad. Guess fate reckoned otherwise.”
Before she could respond, a thunk in her belly knocked the air from her lungs. “Holy hell!” Kat gripped her swollen belly harder. “Oh! I mean holy heck.”
“What’s wrong?” Logan shot forward, instantly alert.
She felt another jab and smiled like an idiot. “He kicked me. The baby kicked me. Not surprising considering I’m shaking with adrenaline right now.” She grabbed Logan’s hands and placed them flat to her belly and held her breath. Sure enough, their little guy kicked again.
Dropping to his knees, he held her rounded belly in both hands. “He?” Logan looked up to meet her gaze, elation and amazement lighting his face.
She chewed her lip and smiled down at Logan. “You have a son.”
He grinned back then turned his full attention to her belly. “Hey, mate, that’s an ace kick you’ve got there,” he murmured. “I’m your dad and … ” He broke off as his words shook and his face contorted with emotion. He drew in a long breath and exhaled slowly. “And I can be a bloody idiot at times, but I’ll do my best to do right by you. I promise that I’ll always be there for you.” He leaned forward and kissed her belly. “And I’ll always love you.”
Fighting tears, Kat sniffed and smoothed Logan’s hair with her hands as he kissed her belly again. Her chest swelled with joy, sadness, relief, regret, and a hundred other conflicting, confusing emotions. No matter how happy his declaration of eternal love to their child made her, Kat ached for him to make a similar promise to her.
With a mental eye roll, she cursed her stupidity. Logan had told her from the beginning that he didn’t do love, and she’d arrogantly ignored the warning and fallen for him anyway. While hearing about his past explained why he would never trust a woman with his heart again, it only explained, not changed the depressing fact. He’d asked for a second chance, but he’d never mentioned love.
Weariness seeped into her soul. Over the last year, she’d gotten good at burying her emotions. Employing the trick again, she forced a grin. “No worries, mate. You’re going to be a great dad,” she said, imitating his accent.
Logan gave her a grateful smile as he rose to stand in front of her again. “Thanks for the encouragement.” He dropped his head and kneaded the back of his neck with one hand. “I’ve never been so bloody happy, proud, and scared in my life.”
Kat sighed as forgiveness and empathy continued to work their way into the cracks of her broken heart. “I thought nothing could scare you.”
Head still dipped, Logan chuckled. “Are you kidding? I fell in love with a tiger. Do you have any idea how terrifying that is?”
Her mouth dropped open, and her heart stilled. A second later, it thudded back to life, pounding wildly in her chest. “You love me?”
He looked up, his mouth curved in a sad smile. “Of course, I love you, Kat. I love that fiery spirit, quick wit, and sharp tongue. I love that you’re challenging, cheeky, and charming all at the same time. I love that you’d rather help people than be helped. And most of all, I love that big, soft heart you try so hard to hide.”
“I … I didn’t know.” She stumbled over the words, unable to believe she just might get her frickin’ happily-ever-after after all.
“Ah, tiger, I love you as much as I love that baby in your belly. But, unlike him, you’re not stuck with me.” Logan stepped closer to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. He let his hand linger alongside her face for a moment, then he dropped it away. “All I can do now is tell you how sorry I am for hurting you and ask for a second chance. Please let me love you, Kat. If you say yes, I promise to do every damn thing in my power to make you happy for the rest of your life.”
“Logan, I—”
“Wait,” he interrupted, looking determined and utterly adorable. “Before you answer, you should know that wanker will never understand you, appreciate the spark in your eyes, or love you a fraction as much as I do.”
“Wanker?”
&
nbsp; “That idiot boyfriend of yours.” Logan nodded toward the door. “John.”
“John and I aren’t together.” She bit back a grin.
“I saw you kiss him through the window,” he said, brows drawn in confusion.
“That wasn’t a real kiss.” She waved away his words. “I was proving a point. John and I don’t spark.”
He stepped closer, intensity radiating from every inch of him. “We spark,” he said in a low, husky voice.
“Big guy, we more than spark.” Kat put her hand on his chest, feeling heat instantly burn through her. “We blaze.”
He laid a hand over hers. “Have I lost you, Kat? Or can you forgive me for walking away?”
She blew out a breath and shook her head. “I’ve already forgiven you. Love makes it too damn hard to hold a grudge.”
Logan’s eyes widened and his grip tightened on her hand. “You love me?” Emotion rumbled through his deep voice.
“Yeah. I love you, Logan McCabe. And I’m sorry for hurting you too. I was wrong before,” she continued, stepping closer and tilting her head back to hold his gaze. “I do need you. I need you in my life and by my side, loving me as much as I love you.” She sucked in a breath and made a face. “How much is all this freaking you out?”
“Actually, being in this together makes the whole thing a lot less scary,” he said with a boyish smile. He lifted his gaze to look around her home, contemplating. “Your place is big enough. Maybe I could crash with you for a while.”
“Hmm.” Kat cocked an eyebrow. “How long were you thinking?”
“How’s forever sound?”
Biting back a smile, Kat stretched to her tiptoes, slipped her arms around Logan’s neck, and pulled him closer. “With you, big guy,” she murmured, her lips an instant from his, “forever sounds ace.”
Epilogue
KAT kicked off her heeled sandals and wiggled her toes on the cool, rough brick beneath the elaborately set table on the southern edge of her parents’ sprawling outdoor patio. The welcome breeze blowing in from the lake cooled the warm summer evening to perfection. And with Logan beside her and their three-month-old son, Bennett, sleeping snugly against her chest, Kat knew a thing or two about perfection.
