by Nikki Ash
“One hundred percent. It says ‘Boyfriend of the year. Don’t let this man go. Chance of you finding someone who knows you that well are slim. Hold on to him and don’t let go.’”
Kaden is grinning from ear-to-ear and waggling his eyebrows. “I normally would disagree with anything from the internet, but in this case, I definitely agree.” Yeah, if only he meant it the same way the quiz means it.
“Yeah, yeah… give me back my phone.” I snatch the phone back from Kaden. “So, what is it you were talking about?”
“I was telling you that I went ahead and booked a room at the hotel the wedding is being held at so we can drink and have fun. Just don’t get too drunk. If you ask me for naked selfies again while you’re drunk, again, I might just have to give in and send you some.”
“Sounds good,” I say, refusing to acknowledge his comment about the naked selfies. “You know if you want to get separate rooms so you can…”
“Don’t even finish that sentence.” Kaden pounces on me, making me fall onto my back on the floor. My phone flies out of my hand, and he pins my hands above my head. His face is holding a mock glare with his beautiful green eyes only being shown through small slits. It makes me laugh before I bring my knee up to his stomach to playfully push him off me. I don’t know why I even bother, though. I’m like a hundred and twenty pounds at most, dripping wet, while Kaden is probably double that and all muscle.
He lets me knee him and falls to the floor onto his back dramatically, allowing me to switch our positions so I have his hands pinned down. Because he’s so wide, my thighs barely make it around his waist. My knees are barely touching the ground, and my hands are up so high because his arms are so long, it puts my chest right in his face nearly suffocating him.
“Nice view.” His voice is muffled, but I can still hear his smile. When I try to move backward out of his reach, he grabs my hands in his, holding me in this position. My sex is grinding against his stomach, and when his knees come up, his dick hits my ass… and it’s hard. Heat pools between my legs. I try to move my hands to get off him, but he isn’t letting it happen. He starts laughing, knowing he’s outmuscling me. I’m on top of him and I can’t even get up!
It’s clear my hands aren’t moving, so I do the first thing I can think of and bite him. Yep! I bite him right on the neck. He jumps in shock, letting go of my hands. I use this opportunity to roll off him, but he’s too quick and seconds later he has me pinned under him, his legs pinning me down with both my hands in one of his. His other hand comes down and… he starts tickling me. Tickling me!
“Kaden! Stop!” I’m yelling at the top of my lungs, but the tickling is so bad I’m barely getting any words out at all. I can’t stop laughing, and if he doesn’t stop, I’m going to pee my pants.
“You think you were slick, huh? Biting my neck?”
He continues his tickling assault. His fingers dig into my ribs and I lose it. “Kaden, I’m going to pee in my pants!” I shriek, still laughing because it’s completely out of my control.
He laughs but stops tickling me. With his one hand still holding both of mine, the hand that was just tickling me comes up and runs along my cheek. I lean into it, making eye contact with Kaden. I can see it on his face. He is filled with the same lust I feel being in this close of proximity to him.
“Kade…” And then his mouth is on mine. His hand that was just on my cheek comes down to my breast and massages it while his tongue seeks entrance.
“Mom?” Tristan calls out from his room causing us both to part. Kaden quickly adjusts himself and I run up the stairs to see what Tristan needs.
“I had a bad dream,” he says, rubbing his eyes. I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. Then Kaden is entering the room, handing Tristan a glass of water.
“Thank you.” I give him a small smile of appreciation. “It was just a dream, sweetie. I’ll leave your bathroom light on, though. Okay?”
“Okay, Mom.”
“I love you.” I give him a hug and a kiss on his forehead before pulling his covers back up.
“Love you, too, Mom.”
“Goodnight, buddy,” Kaden says, leaning over Tristan and ruffling his hair up.
“Goodnight, Kaden. Love you.”
Kaden stops and stills. I can hear him swallow, but then he visibly relaxes and gives Tristan a smile. “I love you, too.”
I want to ask him why the words I love you coming from my son’s mouth looked like it caused him physical pain, but I’m afraid of the answer I might get, so I don’t.
Chapter Fifteen
Kaden
When Tristan said I love you to me, it felt like my heart, which was buried six feet under, was put back into my chest. Not completely pieced back together, but enough that I could feel it beating again. It warmed me up and scared the shit out of me all at the same time. I realized in that moment, I want more. I want to be somebody’s dad. I want to be somebody’s husband. But not just anybody—no, a certain somebody. I want to be Tristan’s dad and Ashley’s husband. But the guilt that came with my sudden realization of feelings made me feel sick to my stomach. The thought of replacing Gabrielle and our son made me feel like the biggest piece-of-shit.
I know Ashley felt something was wrong, but she didn’t call me out on it, for which I appreciate. She asked if I wanted to go with her to drop Tristan off at her parents’ house, but I said no. She looked disappointed and it broke my heart, but I needed some space. She was right. At the rate we’re going, when this is all over, hearts are going to be broken. And we’ll be over because I can’t marry anyone else. I just can’t do it. It doesn’t matter how much I love Ashley and Tristan, I can’t just replace my wife and son.
Without Tristan around, Ashley and I don’t have to put on a happy front—not that we’re usually fake, because we aren’t. Our friendship has always been an open book. Hasn’t it? Well, except for her hiding her violent ex-boyfriend… and the fact that she used herself as collateral to pay him off… and the fact that she has no idea I was ever married with a baby.
Now, that I’m thinking about it, we’ve kept quite a lot from each other. And now that it’s all starting to come to the surface, we aren’t handling it very well at all. The tension between us is palpable, and I don’t know what to do about it. Well, actually, I do know what to do about it—tell her the truth, which is something I’m not ready to do yet.
Ashley and I have successfully avoided each other all week. It’s Saturday, the day of Alex and Jessica’s wedding, and the day before we leave for Colorado. Ashley even made it a point to sleep in the downstairs guest room instead of in my bedroom with me. I’m showered and dressed in my suit for the wedding. My luggage is up against the front door, and I’m waiting on Ashley to finish getting ready. We figured since we’re going to be spending the night at the JW Marriott, where the wedding and reception are both being held, we might as well bring the luggage for our trip and leave from there to get Tristan and go to the airport.
“You ready to go, Ash?” I call out.
“Ugh! Yes, I think so,” she says, huffing and puffing. I turn around and am nearly knocked back by how amazing she looks. Her hair is in waves over her shoulders, her makeup is done lightly, and her thin, light pink, strapless dress is tight in all the right places and loose in others. She’s wearing black heels that are delicate and feminine, and her toes and fingers match her dress.
“You look beautiful.” Grabbing the two suitcases she’s attempting to wheel behind her, I bring them out to the car.
“Thank you,” she says shyly. “You look good too.”
After hauling the luggage into my car, we head to the wedding. After valet parking, we head straight back to the large gazebo where the ceremony is being held. We find our seats only minutes before the wedding march starts. Once everyone has made it down the aisle, Jessica and Alex begin to say their vows. I try to stay in the present, but my mind goes back to the day Gabby and I said ours…
“Gabrielle, you are my everyth
ing. You are my past, my present, and my future. I promise to love and cherish you through good times and bad, in sickness and in health. I promise to always protect you and be by your side. I promise to love you and only you for the rest of our lives.”
I slide the wedding band onto Gabby’s ring finger. Her eyes are smiling as small tears fall down her cheeks. I reach over to gently wipe them away, trying not to ruin her makeup.
“Kaden, thank you for loving me. This is just beginning for us, and I can’t wait to see what is in store for our future. If it’s half as amazing as these last five years have been, I will be a very happy woman. I promise to love and cherish you through good times and bad, in sickness and in health. I promise to be a good wife to you and stand by your side. I promise to love you and only you for the rest of our lives.”
She takes my hand in hers and she slides the ring we picked out for me onto my finger.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
“Kaden?” I look down at my empty ring finger and feel for a second for the indent that has long disappeared.
“Kaden? Are you okay?” Ashley is looking at me worriedly. I glance around and notice the wedding is over and everybody is filing out.
“Yeah, I’m okay.” Her brows scrunch together, and a frown mars her face, but she doesn’t call me out.
Once at the reception, we find the table we’re assigned to. It was obviously done with thought because we’re sitting with all our friends. After the newlywed couple is announced and have their first dance, I take my jacket off and ask Ashley if she would like a drink from the bar.
“Sure, a Bahama Breeze please.”
After grabbing myself a Jack and Coke and her Bahama Breeze, I have a seat. Ashley isn’t sitting where I left her, instead she’s out on the dance floor dancing away with all the women. I don’t bother sitting down. I just stand there like a lovesick fool watching the woman I can never have, laugh and smile, and wish it were me putting that smile on her face.
“Dude, you have it so bad,” Caleb says, slapping my shoulder.
“Yeah, but we both know nothing can come of it.” I have no idea why I say that and immediately wish I could take it back.
“Why? Because you were married once before? Fuck that. It obviously didn’t last for a reason. Maybe Ashley was the reason.”
It’s not his fault because I’ve never told him what happened with my wife, and I know he wouldn’t be saying what he’s saying if he knew the truth, but I don’t think about that when I shove him up against the wall. “Don’t you ever talk about my wife that way. It’s my fault she’s gone! Mine! I’m the one who deserves to be alone for the rest of my life.”
Caleb’s eyes go wide. “Bro, I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened, but nobody deserves to be alone. I, of all people, know that shit firsthand.”
“I need a drink.”
Grabbing my shoulder as I walk away, Caleb turns me around to face him. “I’m sorry. I get you don’t want to talk about whatever happened between you and your wife, but regardless, you deserve to be loved, Kaden, and so does Ashley. And if you can’t love her, you need to let her go. I’ve gotten to know her these last couple months and she’s a damn good woman. A woman who’s been through a lot of shit and deserves to have some good.”
“I know.”
Picking my drink up, I down it like a shot. Then I head to the bar to order a double. And I spend the rest of the evening drinking my confusion away.
Chapter Sixteen
Ashley
The wedding is so romantic and the reception is a blast. I can’t even remember how many Bahama Breezes I’ve had, but it’s enough that I’m drunk. Kaden spent the reception moping over God knows what and I’m so over his shit. I’m in too good of a mood to let him bring me down. A wedding should be a joyous occasion, not a reason to brood in a corner alone. Although, now that I’m thinking about it, last year when we were part of Liz and Cooper’s wedding, Kaden kind of acted the same way.
The party comes to an end, and after congratulating Jessica and Alex, we all part ways, going to our own rooms. When we get to our room, Kaden goes straight to the mini fridge and pulls out a few mini bottles of liquor, downing two of them after he drops to the couch. I grab the last one out of his hand and down that one.
Putting his head back against the couch, he closes his eyes. We’re both trashed and we know it. Only I’m hyper and not ready to pass out quite yet. I notice an iPod dock in the corner of the room, and grabbing my awesome iPhone Kaden got me, plug it in and switch on iTunes, clicking shuffle.
I’m n Luv (wit a stripper) by T-Pain blasts through the small portable speakers, and I crack up laughing at the irony of this song. Kaden’s head tilts forward as he glares at me, clearly not finding the humor in it, which makes me laugh even harder. Well, fuck him!
Kicking off my heels first, so I don’t break my neck (I’m drunk, not stupid), I climb up onto the coffee table and start to dance to the rhythm of the music. I’m staring straight at Kaden, and he’s staring back, watching me with the undeniable lust in his eyes. I sway my hips seductively, just like I do on stage, singing the words to the song.
I laugh as my words come out with a slur and definitely not to the beat of the song. Then I drop my ass to the table, spreading my legs, and give Kaden a complete visual of my pussy, since I didn’t wear panties to the wedding—can’t have panty lines ruining the dress.
His eyes widen at the visual.
“You better be a good tipper. I don’t show just anyone my goods.”
That gets me a smirk from him. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a crisp one-hundred dollar bill from his wallet. I laugh but keep dancing. I roll onto my stomach and then pop back up onto my feet, peeling my dress off me and throwing it at him.
He chuckles lightly and stands, wobbling his drunk ass up to the table. I don’t stop dancing, though. I turn around, backing my ass right up to him and shake it. I feel a hand land right on my ass cheek with a smack, causing me to crack up. Once I turn back around, he places the bill in the cup of my bra, letting his hands linger on my body. He moves them slowly down my sides until they land back on my ass cheeks.
“No no, you know the rules. You don’t get to touch the stripper.”
Kaden growls… fucking growls. Then grabbing my ass with both his hands, lifts me off the couch, and throws me onto the bed.
“You are my fiancée. I can touch you whenever the fuck I want. Got it? This pussy is mine…Mine.”
Chapter Seventeen
Kaden
Fuck! Who the hell is banging on the door? Or is it the wall? I open my eyes and realize the banging isn’t coming from anywhere. It’s my head pulsing so strongly it feels like a constant banging is taking place right behind my eyes, in my head. Scanning my surroundings, I remember I’m in the hotel where Alex got married, and next to me is a naked woman. The blanket is wrapped around her shoulders and head, but from the waist down is nothing but silky smooth skin. I know right away it’s Ashley. I would recognize her sexy legs from a mile away. But why is she naked? I try to remember what happened but can’t. My head is pounding and the more I try to think about last night, the harder it pounds.
Needing to take a piss, I get out of bed and head to the bathroom. When I go to pull my briefs down, I notice I’m naked too. Fuck! It all comes back to me in flashes.
Her: dancing on the table.
Me: Hauling her over my shoulder.
Then… nothing. I can’t remember shit after that! Fuck! Did I have sex with Ashley and was too drunk to even enjoy it? I mean, I’m sure I enjoyed it. But I can’t remember how her pussy felt wrapped around my cock. How it felt to be fully inside of her. Damn it! I’m such a fucking idiot.
I shower and get dressed, when I’m done, Ashley is up and floating around the room getting things together to leave.
“I’m going to get in the shower since you’re out.”
“Ash, wait.” I gently grab he
r wrist. I need to apologize for taking advantage of our inebriated states last night. “I’m sorry…”
She flinches, pulling her arm from me. “There’s nothing to apologize for. Let’s just pretend last night didn’t happen.”
Now it’s my turn to flinch at her harsh words. I wasn’t thinking it was a mistake at all. I was thinking the opposite. But if that’s how she feels… “Got it.”
We forgo meeting everyone for breakfast, going through a drive-thru instead. The drive to her parents is silent. Ashley is reading a book on her phone. She’s so funny when she reads, letting all her emotions show. At a good part, she’ll smile or laugh. At a sad part, she’ll frown. It’s so adorable, especially since she has no idea she’s doing it.
After grabbing Tristan, we drive to the airport. My grandma’s birthday party isn’t until Saturday, but we’re staying the week and flying back after the party is over. Tristan starts back at school Tuesday with open house Monday, so Ashley asked if we could be home Sunday so she can get him situated. Ashley’s decided to sign him up at the school in my school zone so she filled out all the necessary paperwork. She said it’s a lot nicer and closer and Bella goes there as well, so it makes sense. I like the idea of him going to school here, maybe that’ll keep her living here that much longer.
After bringing our bags through security, we make our way to the first class lounge to wait to be called. “Do you want something to drink, bud?” Tristan has been acting weird since we picked him up.
“No,” he says, quickly shaking his head.
“Are you okay?” He looks at his mom and then back to me. “What’s going on?”
“He’s never flown before,” Ashley admits, nervously.
“Never?” I ask incredulously.
“Nope,” Tristan answers softly.
“Oh, Tristan. We need to get you out more, buddy! This is going to be great. First class is awesome. This trip is short, only around two hours, so no dinner served, but the flight attendant will bring you whatever you want to drink and tons of snacks. There’s Wi-Fi available and there are TVs in all the seats to watch movies. Plus, they give you a pillow and blanket and your seat reclines.”
