by S. M. Bowles
"Couldn't live...shouldn't live," I thought and my mind ignored every other thing that was going on around me.
Artur...Freya...Merry...Penny...Evan...even Herrik. None of it mattered any more. He didn't love me, didn't believe that I loved him.
I turned and ran towards the boulder I had sat on all those years ago but this time no one could prevent me from doing what Herrik had prevented me from doing then.
Chapter 24
It seemed like hundreds of voices cried out to me at once then were suddenly silenced. Afterwards there was no noise except the sound of the wind rushing past my ears as I fell faster and faster, plummeting towards the ravine at the bottom of the canyon. I felt no fear, just relief, relief that it would all be over soon and I would never have to feel anything again.
I closed my eyes when I could finally make out the ground which appeared to be looming up beneath me. A moment later I felt the crushing impact of my body hitting the earth. The pain didn't go away though, at least not the emotional pain. I couldn't feel anything, there was nothing, no sensation anywhere in my body other than the heartbreak that had brought me to where I was laying.
There was a loud thump then the sound of the rough foliage being crushed underfoot. I couldn't believe that I heard it, that I was actually still alive. It seemed impossible.
"Herrik?" I thought I called his name but it was nothing more than a gurgle.
He was peering into my eyes, shocked into understanding by my desperation. I thought I heard a second thud right behind him and where he was kneeling down beside me. Suddenly someone grabbed Herrik's shoulder and yanked him away.
Moments later others came, I heard them falling and landing one after another. They stood protectively all around me. I had no idea who was who, though. It was too dark to see and my vision seemed to come and go in blurry pulses.
"Take her! Keep her alive! Don't...don't do anything more!" Herrik insisted but he sounded so unsure.
I tried to raise my arm to beckon someone, anyone to come and help me but I couldn't move and despite Herrik's command nobody dared to touch me. It was unexpected but I instantly realized that I didn't want to die even though I had obviously insured that I would.
"No," Artur pushed through the small circle. "You won't die, dear Emily. Not today."
He brushed the hair from my face and rolled his sleeve.
"This ends now!" I heard Herrik's voice boom across the ravine and as he said it Daemon and Avery suddenly appeared at his side.
Artur glanced their way briefly then whispered, "Enough," and he pulled his arm away. "Penny, you lead, Merry follow us!"
All of a sudden it was excruciating! Artur urged me to sitting and despite what he had given me there was no life in my body or limbs, only pain.
"Ssh," Artur soothed. "I know it hurts, Emily but you must hold on. Hold on for Herrik!" He laid his fingertips on my temple and the world abruptly vanished.
We stopped more than once and each time Artur gently roused me then urged me to take several more drops. Nothing seemed to change for me though. My aches would dwindle but only for a moment then return with a vengeance. If I tried to move my arms or my legs or even to open my lips to speak it would send a stabbing jolt of agony rippling through every fiber of my body. Either Artur was being too cautious and not giving me enough or my life was just too far gone.
Eventually we reached the gates that lead to the garage. There were no guards but Artur sent Merry and Penny ahead to make sure that the way was clear. Artur knelt down in the shadows and softly stroked my cheek until my eyes fluttered open.
"Try again," he coaxed me.
During the brief release it brought me I begged him to tell me if what I feared was true.
"Am I going to die?"
I saw his eyes glistening in the dark, "Don't give up," he kissed my forehead.
"Will you tell him...tell him..." I coughed.
"Ssh, ssh! He knows."
"Go back. Save Herrik. Save Haeven," I pleaded with my eyes.
"No. Not until you are safe."
Just as he said this a car smashed through the gate at full speed. Merry jumped out of the passenger's seat and flung the back door open, "Get in!" she commanded.
"Please," I asked again.
Artur gave me a faint nod then eased me into the backseat. He told Merry to get in and showed her where to place her hands to urge me from consciousness.
"You're not coming?" her voice quivered.
He shook his head.
"Where should we go?" Penny asked.
Artur clenched his jaw, "It doesn't matter," he choked the words out. "Make it look like an accident."
"What?!" she screamed. "No!" Penny whirled and faced us.
I could see the understanding as it formed in her eyes. Suddenly she knew just as surely as Artur and I that it was too late.
"Then you need to..."
Artur shook his head, "I promised Herrik. He would never forgive me."
"He will never forgive you if you don't!"
"You don't understand! I can't! There's something...something's wrong...It's not helping her...I'm not healing her...It's not healing her. Our blood...it won't...work." He sat there silent for several seconds. He had an odd expression.
There were anxious voices coming from behind the broken gate.
"Merry!"
"Wyatt!" she called back.
Davit was with him and together they had someone propped up between them, his arms over their shoulders. They hurried their steps as they shuffled their way toward the car and as soon as he knew for sure Artur let me know that it was Evan.
"Put him in the front seat and strap him in."
Wyatt held Evan up while Davit got the door. Afterwards Davit squatted down and gathered Evan's legs by the ankles and with Wyatt's help they tucked him into the car.
Artur squeezed my hand and kissed my forehead again, "I'll do whatever I can to help him."
"Thank you. Thank you...for everything. You...you've," there were so many things I wanted to tell him; how much I loved him, that he was like a father to me, that of all the people I had ever known I respected and admired him the most.
"I know," he started to cry. He gave me several more drops, "Goodbye," he whispered.
"Goodbye Artur."
I saw him moving away and a moment later he bent over Evan in the passenger's seat. We all seemed to know what he was doing. Penny glanced back and smiled sadly, Merry stroked my hair pausing only to say a brief farewell to Wyatt. The doors were all closed and the car began slowly rolling down the hill. My eyes fluttered and it seemed like all the world was washed away into a sea of darkness where it was lost and forgotten.
I caught brief glimpses, flickers of images from time to time but I never fully knew what happened to me or to Evan or any of the people who helped save us.
"So many lights...why are they all flashing?" I remember thinking at some point. And perhaps days later, "I know this place. I've been here before."
Other times it was the rhythmic noises, slow, soft steady beeps or some strange whooshing sound like air being sucked in and pushed back out. Once I thought I felt Evan's hand in mine as he sobbed into my fingertips. At one point I even imagined that I heard my father's voice telling my mother that she needed to accept what had happened and that it was time.
"It's been months, honey, she's not going to come back. You need to make your peace. We need to let her go."
"Yes," I thought, "please let me go."
The rest of the time it was just the darkness, the void, the emptiness. It seemed like an eternity before I ever recognized anything again. There was a knock and a woman's voice.
"I'm sorry but there is someone here asking to see your daughter. Should I show him in?"
"Who?" my mother's voice was full of concern, "My daughter doesn't know anyone. She...she was missing for seven years. Did he give his name?"
"No, ma'am. But..." and she glanced over her shoulder, "he...he seems like a very n
ice gentleman and..." the woman's voice sounded thoroughly confused, "I think you should see for yourself."
I heard their soft footfalls as they walked away. Minutes later my mom returned and she had what I guessed was the gentleman with her. There was a strange tapping as they drew near and I couldn't make any sense of what it was at first.
"How do you know Emily?" she asked.
"She was a student of mine."
"Oh, so you knew her before she..." my mother cleared her throat. "It is so nice of you to remember her," she sighed. "I didn't realize there were any bli..." my mom checked what she was about to say, "teachers with disabilities in her school. I don't recall Emily, or anyone ever mentioning it."
"It is degenerative and has only recently gotten to this point," the man said uncomfortably.
"I'm so sorry. Can I get you anything; I would like some coffee myself," my mother nervously changed the subject.
"That would be lovely. Thank you."
As soon as she was gone the man took my hand, "Emily," he called, "Emily?" but his voice it wasn't out loud, it wasn't around me, it was inside, inside my head.
"Artur!"
"Thank God!" he cried. "I'll come back. I will find a way to...We all thought you were gone. That it was too late!"
"Herrik?"
"Yes! Yes! Yes! He needs you, Emily. Oh, Emily! Rest. I'll come back."
I felt his mind drifting away from mine. It saddened me and more than anything I wanted him to stay but the brief exchange lifted a small fraction of the veil that shrouded me from the world beyond my shell of a body.
My father came into the room before my mother returned and found Artur there standing over me.
“Who are you?” he asked full of surprise.
Before he could answer my mother returned and attempted an introduction, "Oh, this is Mr...Mr..."
"Artur."
"Mr. Artur. He was a teacher of Emily's before..."
Artur held his hand out smiling, "Your daughter was a favorite student of mine and when I learned what happened..." he turned towards me. "Is there any hope?"
My dad shook his head no.
"Such a tragedy. I am so sorry. I was just telling your wife that if there is anything I can do...
"There’s nothing that can be done!" I heard a hint of anger in my father's voice.
"My apologies," Artur’s voice softened, "and my regrets." There was a long moment of silence and neither of my parents made any reply. "Well, thank you for letting me see her."
Just then a shrill beeping filled the room and a nurse rushed in and another who was followed by the doctor on duty, "Get them out!"
One of the nurses took Artur by the elbow and led him away as my parents followed. He must have waited with them in the lobby until the doctors and nurses could stabilize me. When they were allowed back into my room the doctor gave them his diagnosis while Artur stood in the doorway listening.
"Her organs are atrophying."
"What does that mean?"
"They're shutting down. I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do."
"How long?" my father asked.
"A week, two."
"No. NO!” my mother cried out. She slowly turned and her eyes fell on Artur.
“I want to help you care for her,” he said. “Please,” he said, “I have resources, a home in the country. It will be like a…a haven compared to this.”
My parents were dumbfounded and neither answered for a long moment.
“It must be...I have been a prudent man and I have no children of my own. I can't think of a better way to...”
“Yes," my mother sobbed. “Please, I can’t bear to watch her die like this.”
"I’ll do whatever I can,” he stepped forward and took her hand, “whatever I can.”
A few nights later my mother, father and Evan watched while the doctors and nurses systematically removed all my life supports one by one and replaced them with the mobile ones. Then I was wheeled out to the private ambulance Artur had hired to convey me to his country home. Everything went so smoothly; each of my new caretakers performed their tasks perfectly and seemingly without effort.
For my family it was a very solemn occasion and each of them was under a great deal of private stress and strain. Evan may have felt the most believing somehow that he was to blame. We were together when the accident happened and he kept thinking that if he had only done this or that differently or if he had insisted on driving instead of letting me. According to the police investigation, I was behind the wheel when the crash happened and it seemed to be the result of a combination of factors that came after I tried to avoid a collision with another driver who had been travelling in the wrong lane.
My dad's regrets mostly revolved around the fact that he felt I shouldn't be going anywhere but home, that if these were my last few days they shouldn't be spent with strangers. Artur was very persuasive, though, as was my mother and Evan. The three of them had driven to Artur's home and after seeing the beauty of the grounds and house itself they were convinced. It was so peaceful and picturesque, a miniature heaven on Earth my mom and Evan called it and after all that I had been through didn't I deserve the serenity of passing away in such an ethereal environment.
As soon as they were able to convince him and my dad agreed to accept what Artur was offering Artur began making the arrangements. He did his best to ensure that the transition was as easy as possible for myself and my family. He had rooms made up for each of us so that my family could stay with me night and day and hired a staff to take care of all our needs. Artur even arranged for a car to take them from the hospital to his home and rode with them during the long drive.
"Whenever you're ready, Avery," he called to the driver once my family was all comfortably seated in the back, "the ambulance will follow."
About halfway there the car jostled oddly and Avery pulled it to the side.
"What's wrong?" Artur asked.
"I think we may have a flat tire. Wait here," Avery put the car in park and got out as the ambulance drew up behind him.
"Need a hand?" the driver offered.
Artur had gotten out of the car as well, "No, Wyatt you go on ahead and get Emily settled. We'll be there shortly."
The driver nodded and pulled away. Together Avery and Artur watched the ambulance until it was out of view. Once it had dropped from sight Avery went to one side of the car and Artur to the other. My parents and Evan never had a chance to react, Avery immobilized each of them and held them in place while Artur reconstructed their memories. He went to my mother first and as he pulled away her eyes softly dropped closed.
Afterwards Artur performed the same procedure on my father then turned to Evan.
"You! You!" he mumbled.
"You remember," Artur frowned.
Evan nodded, "I know what you’re doing! You're taking her, aren't you? You're taking Emily back to them."
"Not them, Evan...us. Emily belongs with us now. We will care for her, Herrik will care for her. She will never know this kind of pain again and she will be loved...loved more than anyone in either of our worlds is ever likely to be loved."
"I know. I know that now but please...please don't take her away from me. Let me remember her. She is my sister and I deserve to love her, too," Evan pleaded.
"I'm sorry. There's too much at stake. Haeven is in a very precarious place right now. Maybe someday but that someday is not today," Artur said with finality.
Miles away Wyatt, Merry and Davit pulled onto a tiny dirt road where they met Daemon, Penny and Colin in a second ambulance. In it there was some poor, nameless, family-less young woman who, though for very different reasons, would not make it very many more days. Wyatt brought the strange woman to Artur's home and from the moment they arrived my family was under Artur's and the other's influence. They never knew the difference and throughout the final days never thought that it was anyone other than me.
After changing vehicles Daemon, Colin and Penny brought me to Haeven.
They pulled into the garage then Daemon and Colin eased my stretcher onto the cement. Together they wheeled me towards the elevator while Penny followed carrying and monitoring all my mobile supports. They brought me to the garden level and rolled me down the hallway where dozens of people were hard at work restoring the passageway and common rooms. As we passed many paused for a moment and with sad and curious faces peered down at me. We had to stop a number of times for someone to say a word or two or for others to reach out with loving hands and cautiously caress my arm or gently squeeze my fingertips.
Eventually we made it to Herrik's apartment. It was cold and dark and felt as haunted as Herrik looked. He didn't say a word or show any emotion other than sorrow as Daemon and the others transferred me to Herrik's bed. With long looks Penny and Colin quietly slipped away.
Daemon hugged Herrik close, "Love is never something to reject, especially when it is meant to be..." he kissed his father's cheek. "It has a mind of its own and it will always have its way with you no matter how hard you try to fight it."
Daemon turned and walked away. Herrik listened to his footfalls and then for the sound of the door being tugged closed. He stepped towards me and laid his hand across my forehead.
"Emily...Emily, love. I can’t believe it has come to this!”
I felt his voice rippling through me.
"Oh, Herrik!"
"Is this...am I really what you want?" he asked.
"How could you ever doubt it?"
"You deserve so much more."
"But I want you," my mind whispered. “I love you.”
I felt his lips brush my temple then he wrapped his fingers around mine. I heard him suck in his breath as he slowly, reluctantly brought my wrist to his lips. Gently but insistently he took as much as he dared. Then Herrik eased the respirator tube from my throat and mouth before gnashing his own wrist and letting his blood flow into me. He let it fall steadily until he grew too weak to give any more.
At first there was only the slightest change. I felt my heart flutter and my lungs seemed to protest without the assistance of the life supports.
