Secrets, Lies, and Online Dating: Three Generations Learn to Love Again (Women's Fiction)

by Sylvia McDaniel

  And she did. Seduction plans.

  Music played in the background. She couldn’t go for that soft elevator stuff her mother listened to, but banging guitars hadn’t fit the mood, so she’d bought a John Mayer CD, which set the tone nicely.

  Earlier in the day, she’d bought spaghetti and ravioli at a local restaurant and all she had to do was warm it up in the microwave.

  She’d showered, put on her prettiest underwear, and sprinkled herself generously with perfume. She was ready for the big night – the night she gave Jake her virginity.

  Katie glanced at the clock. He was twenty minutes late. What if he didn’t show?

  She took a deep breath. He’d be here. After all, this was their fourth date.

  A knock on the door interrupted her panic attack and she hurried to answer it, her heart in her throat.

  Katie flung open the door and Jake stood there in low hanging jeans and a t-shirt, a bulky ski coat over his body, his hair still damp from the shower. She grinned at him. Wasn’t he in for a shock tonight?

  “Hello,” she said.

  “What are we doing tonight?” he asked. “Some of the guys invited us to play Xbox.”

  “Come in,” she said, grabbing his arm and pulling him into the room.

  He gazed at the set-up, a slow smile spread across his face. “Candles? Music? Are you trying to seduce me?”

  She swallowed and didn’t answer his question. “I bought us spaghetti and ravioli from that restaurant on the corner of Main and Pacific.”

  “Later, babe. Right now I’m hungry for you.” He pulled her into his arms and kicked the door closed with his foot.

  His mouth closed over hers and he drank from her lips like a man with an unquenchable thirst. She melted against his body, the feel of his chest strong and solid against her breasts.

  She broke away, gasping for breath. “Don’t you think we should eat first?”

  “You’re the only nourishment I need,” he said, his lips against her neck, nibbling and teasing her, sending delicious shivers spiraling down her spine. His words thrilled her. She had the power to excite him and he definitely was making her desire him.

  His hand slid beneath her shirt and she loved the way his warm palm felt against her skin. Hesitantly, she laid her own hand against his head, moving it down his neck. She didn’t know how to make it pleasurable for him. And she couldn’t help but worry about the fact that this was her first time. Would she be good enough for him?

  His fingers touched her breast and she arched her back, giving him more access. They were standing in the middle of her dorm room with his hand on her breast, kissing until she couldn’t breathe.

  She stepped out of his arms, needing to gather her wits about her. He yanked off his coat, lifted his shirt over his head, and quickly shucked his jeans. He didn’t have any underwear on and she stared at his gorgeous body, his penis jutting out proudly.

  He was hot.

  “Quit staring and take off your clothes,” he said, his voice low and husky.

  This wasn’t exactly going the way she had imagined it. Somehow she thought they would have dinner, he would slowly seduce her and take off her clothes. But she wasn’t willing to back out now.

  She pulled her sweater over her head and unhooked her bra, tossing it aside. He let out a low moan.

  “Your tits are gorgeous,” he said.

  Before she could stop to think about what she was doing, she quickly shed her jeans and her panties.

  He pulled a condom out of his jeans and rolled it on, then took her by the hand and led her to her bed. His lips covered hers again, while his fingers explored her nipple, tweaking it while a shudder ran through her. She skimmed her hand down the sleek muscles of his back, exploring awkwardly. She wanted to return the pleasure he was giving her, yet she didn’t know what to do.

  His mouth left hers and she wanted to cry out at the loss, until he suckled her breast and she moaned deep in the back of her throat. She arched her back and an urgent need to grind her hips against his gripped her.

  As if he understood her need, his hand skimmed her mound and his finger delved into the moist center of her. She cried out with the unexpected thrill of his touch, moaning his name.

  “Wow, you’re so tight,” he groaned.

  Pleasure wound tighter and tighter within her and she clung to him, her arms wrapped around him.

  He moved between her legs and before she knew his intent, plunged deep inside her. Pain ripped through her with a startling shock. She cried out, her body tensing as he thrust again.

  “Oh my God, you’re a freaking virgin,” he said gazing at her in shock. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  He rested deep inside her, her insides aching from his brutal entry. “I didn’t think you needed to know.”

  “Baby, I would have been a little easier on you. We still would have done it, but this is your first time. It’s going to hurt. Are you okay?”

  The pain began to subside and she shifted a little to accommodate him better. “I’m okay.”

  He kissed her. “We’ve got all night to show you how much fun this can be.”

  “All night?”

  He grinned, “Yeah, all night.”

  His fingers found the center of her again and the pleasure she’d felt earlier began to spiral through her again. He smiled as he watched her. “I’m going to make your first time great.”

  “Hmm…,” she moaned, “it gets better than this?”

  “Oh yeah,” he said and kissed her deeply.

  Sunlight peaked into the room, just beginning its ascent in the sky. Marianne eased from the bed, trying not to wake Stuart. He lay curled on his side, sleeping. She just wanted to go home. They’d done the nasty several times during the night, and while the sex had been good, the sunlight had awakened her overactive brain. She needed some time to think.

  She picked her clothes up and carried them into the living room with her, where she quickly dressed and called a taxi.

  Ten minutes later, her cell phone rang, letting her know the taxi waited outside. She opened the door, and Stuart appeared in the hallway, a sheet wrapped around him.

  “Hey, where are you going?”

  She stopped, the situation awkward. “I need to get home. I have a paper due next week and chapters to read.”

  He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her lips softly. “I had a great time last night.”

  “Uh, me too,” she said, not really sure how she felt about last night. She liked Stuart. He was a nice guy and the sex had been good, but this morning her brain had overridden her heart and something wasn’t right.

  The physical side seemed forced, not natural and easy. Something felt wrong.

  “I’ll call you later,” he promised.

  “Okay. I’ve got to go,” she said. He released her and she hurried out the door. Once she reached outside, she turned to wave at him as he watched her leave.

  She opened the taxi door and climbed in the back. She gave the driver her address and leaned against the seat. Tears pricked the back of her eyelids.

  Stuart was a great guy. He cared about his kids. He wanted a relationship with her, yet her heart wasn’t involved. Even after sex, she felt no emotional connection with him and that hurt. She wanted to love him. And yet there were no feelings, no stirring of passion, no can’t-live-without-him feelings. Only emptiness.

  There had been no emotion. Only two bodies connecting and now she knew she couldn’t have sex just for the physical act itself. She craved the emotion, the bonding, and the intimacy of sharing her deepest emotions with another human being.

  Sadness welled inside her and she realized she was going to break Stuart’s heart.

  She wasn’t Paige and she knew she could never act like her friend. She decided right then that she would not have sex with another man until she was certain there was mutual emotion.

  Body rubbing against body wasn’t enough. She needed more. With a sigh, she leaned back, knowing last night
she’d learned something about herself that she could never lose sight of again.

  She needed emotional intimacy with the physical act. She needed love, and even though she wanted to feel different, her heart wasn’t involved with Stuart.

  The taxi stopped in front of Marianne’s house. Her car was sitting in the driveway, with the hood up. She frowned, paid the driver, and stepped out of the taxi.

  She looked like hell. No make-up, the same clothes she had on yesterday, her hair a mess, and she had yet to brush her teeth. She hated morning breath.

  She shut the door of the taxi and watched him drive off.

  Luke poked his head around from the front of the car. “Good morning, sunshine. Looks like you had a rough night.”

  “Not open for discussion,” she replied automatically, her heart still bruised.

  His brows drew together in a frown. “I took the liberty of checking out your car. I checked the anti-freeze levels, the brake fluid, your oil level, and your hoses. That little bit of snow we had last night is just the first taste of a winter-storm that will be arriving in the next few days.”

  “Was everything okay?”

  She did not want to discuss this right now, she only wanted to escape into her apartment and lick her wounds. She’d made a mistake, a huge mistake, and she just wanted to forget last night.

  “How fond are you of this car?”

  “I hate it. Why?”

  He laughed. “Then I guess you won’t mind trading it in. It’s not going to last much longer. And with the type of winters we have, it could die anytime.”

  “Crap!” she said. She really appreciated him taking a look at her car, but this was bad news at the worst possible moment. If she didn’t get into the apartment, she was going to break down and cry right here in front of him.

  “I thought you didn’t like it.”

  “I don’t, but it’s paid for and for a full-time student that’s great.”

  “Just get you another junker to last until you graduate.”

  “That would be good if I had any kind of idea as to when, or if, I will ever graduate.”

  He frowned. “Trouble in school?”

  “Yeah, it’s called ‘what do I want to do with the rest of my life’.”

  He wiped his hands on a rag. “Sometimes, that’s the hardest decision.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I appreciate everything you’re doing. You didn’t have to check out my car. I’m letting my experience from last night ruin today. Thanks for all your help.”

  “You’re welcome. I like to tinker with cars and I was doing my own and thought I’d take a look at yours.”

  She smiled. Luke was a kind man, but right now she just wanted to hang her head in shame. “Should I trade it in now or wait for it to die?”

  Right this moment she was not in a good emotional place to make decisions about anything and especially about buying a car.

  “Just make sure you always have a cell phone with you and some extra blankets. Being broke down in Colorado is different from Texas.”

  “Okay.”

  “You look tired,” he said. “Why don’t you go in and get some rest.”

  “I have two papers to write, both due Monday.”

  “They may be easier to write after a little rest.”

  “Thanks. I also have to figure out how to break a man’s heart.” Stuart was a nice man and she wasn’t looking forward to giving him the news that they weren’t going any further.

  Luke’s head jerked from beneath the hood of the car and he banged it on the metal.”

  “Damn!” he said.

  She laughed. “Sorry, I guess I shouldn’t have said that while you were under the hood of the car.”

  “It was a little surprising.”

  “It’s been twenty years, or longer, since I broke a man’s heart and it doesn’t feel good.”

  “Dragging it out won’t make it any easier for you or for him,” he said softly.

  She sighed. “No, it won’t. And he’s a nice man. That’s what sucks.”

  Luke smiled. “Even nice men get their hearts broken. Sometimes more than the pricks.”

  “I think I will go take a hot shower and have a nap and see if that improves my thinking.”

  Luke started to say something and then bent beneath the hood. “See you later.”

  “Later,” she said, wishing that he hadn’t seen her come home in a taxi. He had to know she’d spent the night with another man. Then again, it was none of his business what she did with her life.

  She liked Luke, he was easy to talk to and had a nice smile. All the more reason to avoid him and concentrate on school.

  Chapter 9

  Brenda strolled into the camping pavilion, the smell of frying fish drawing her into the gathering. She knew she looked hot tonight compared to the other retired women in the room. She’d worn her best jeans and her slinky top that hid her muffin roll, a new dye job on her hair hid the gray, and for a sixty-year old woman, as the kids would say, she had it going on.

  And considering that most of the people in the pavilion were older couples, she’d wasted her time. It was pretty bad when you went to a campground to hook up with a man.

  “Come on in,” an elderly man motioned with his arm. “We got a fresh batch of catfish just coming out of the grease.”

  “Did you remove the cholesterol from that grease?” Brenda asked, a serious expression on her face.

  “What’s cholesterol? A cute young thing like you doesn’t have to worry about HDL/LDL.”

  She smiled at him. “Right. Only strokes and heart attacks.”

  And she’d witnessed more of those than she cared to ever see again. First George and then James. She didn’t want to witness another heart attack.

  “Shh…” he said. “Those words are unmentionables at our age.”

  She laughed. “Where are the desserts? I brought banana pudding.”

  He smacked his lips. “You don’t happen to put whipped cream in it do you?”

  “Always,” she said, thinking this man was a character. At least he seemed to enjoy life and that was what she wanted. Someone to share the fun times and even the sad times in life.

  “God, what is your name? When my wife dies, I want you to be her replacement.”

  A woman stepped around from behind him. “You old coot. I’m going to outlive you, just so there can be no replacements and spend every dime of your money with the pool boy.”

  He winked at Brenda. “I knew she was behind me.”

  Brenda laughed. “I’ve never considered myself a replacement part and never intend to. I’m Brenda Jones.”

  “Nice to meet you Brenda, I’m Larry and this is my wife, Donna.”

  They seemed like nice people and Brenda was suddenly glad she’d come to the fish fry.

  “Put your banana pudding on that table next to the wall,” Donna told her. “Let me introduce you to some of the other campers.”

  Donna took her around and introduced her to everyone, and just when she decided he wasn’t there, Paul came out of the kitchen wearing a ruffled apron tied around his waist in a big bow at the back.

  “Hey,” he called out. “You came to try my fish.”

  “Cute apron,” Brenda said, giving him the once over.

  “Is that a sexist comment?” he asked.

  “When you wear an apron like that, it is.”

  “I want you to know it takes a real man to wear something like this. I’m secure in my masculinity.”

  She raised her brows and shook her head. The man certainly was handsome for someone his age. “I see.”

  Donna strolled by. “Shish. That was the only apron available.”

  Brenda smiled.

  “Donna, remind me to tell that husband of yours to lock you in the camper the next time we have a fish fry.”

  “He knows better,” she said, and continued on.

  “Did you get any fish?” Paul asked.

  “I was just going to grab
a plate.”

  He took off the apron. “Mind if I join you?”

  “That would be nice.” And she meant it. Sitting with Paul would be fun and he was someone she knew.

  They filled their plates and found two empty chairs at one of the tables. “How many fish did you catch yesterday?” he asked.

  “I think it was five. I don’t like to catch more than I can eat at one time.”

  “That’s wise. Usually, I catch a lot and bring them here for the group to fry. Of course this will be our last fish fry until spring. A lot of these folks will be heading to South Texas. Snow birds.”

  She glanced around the room. She’d heard of people going down to the warmer climate in the winter and then going further north in the summer. Maybe she’d do that later this year.

  “That’s an idea,” she said. “I’ve never gone to Brownsville before. Do you go?” Brenda asked, curious.

  “I used to, but now I don’t get more than a couple of hours away from Dallas. I need to be close to home.”

  “Do you have family close?” she asked.

  “Yeah, a couple of grown children and three grand-kids. How about yourself?”

  For the first time she noticed his sandy brown eyes twinkled with kindness, and there was a sprinkle of freckles on his cheeks.

  “One daughter and one grand-daughter. Both of them are going to college now,” she responded, a pang of longing cutting through her at the thought of them. She missed them.

  “Are they close by?”

  “No, they’re in Colorado.”

  He gazed at her, his forehead creasing in a frown. “You’re a long ways from Colorado.”

  “I used to live in Dallas, but about three months ago, I decided I wasn’t going to wait a minute longer. I sold the house, bought the RV, and here I am traveling the open highway.”

  “Alone?” he asked in surprise.

  She smiled, remembering her trek across the country with Sandy. God, she didn’t miss her. “No, at first I had another woman traveling with me, but she found a man in Florida and married him. Me, I’m too mean to get married again.”