Suspended

by Taryn Elliott

  “Good, good.”

  Doyle opened the door, and Kendall lost her breath. More of the white pine flowed out into a huge staging area for the on-site vet they were expecting to come in from Salt Lake. Stainless steel counters and glass cabinets could have felt sterile, but with the warm wood to frame them out, everything looked high-end and professional.

  She followed them in as they discussed the equipment and specs of the building that must have been important. She let them talk as she smoothed her hand over the velvety wood. It had a chiseled log cabin vibe than wasn’t her particular taste, but she couldn’t deny the excellent craftsmanship.

  Pieces of Shane were sprinkled all over the stable. As they moved down the wide walkway between stalls, they came across huge tack bins in rough-cut wood. She’d seen Shane work on those late into last night.

  She and Shane had been so restless the last few days. As if they were bouncing around each other but not quite sure what to do or how to act.

  The two men paused to talk as they ran out of real estate. The back door was open, and Evelyn and her crew had returned from the horse show and were unloading equipment for the horses that would be coming in a few days. She waved to Evelyn and left the men to their own devices.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey there.” Evelyn’s bright, warm smile eased the rest of the tension that had been following her around all day. “I couldn’t believe that they really finished it up. I had to come up and see for myself. Your Shane is a miracle worker.”

  Kendall laughed. “More like a taskmaster. But he got it done. I’m glad to see you. We’re actually heading out tonight.”

  “Oh, no. Really?”

  “Yeah, I got an SOS call from my mother. No rest for the wicked when you own your own business.”

  “Nothing terrible, I hope?”

  “Nah, just an inconvenience that cost us two bookings. That part wasn’t good, but the fix is relatively simple.” Kendall shrugged. “Hot water tank.”

  “Yuck.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Good thing Shane’s so handy.”

  Kendall glanced at Shane. His arms were crossed, his hip cocked as Doyle spoke to him. In her head, she could see just how perfect he’d look in her home, in her bed, in her life. And that scared the shit out of her. Even worse, she was terrified she was going to find out just how life would feel without him.

  Evelyn snapped her fingers in front of Kendall. “Earth to Kendall.”

  “Sorry.”

  Shoulder to shoulder, the women stood together. Evelyn hooked an arm around Kendall. “I can’t blame you on the distraction.”

  If only it was just drooling. “I haven’t had much time with him lately.”

  Evelyn frowned and moved to stand in front of her. She took both her hands. “I’m sensing a but.”

  Kendall shrugged. “No buts. Just part of me is looking forward to going home, and part of me is dreading it.”

  “Have you talked to him?”

  “I will.”

  “You know if you talk to him, you’ll probably find out that it’s not nearly as bad as you think.”

  No, it was so much worse. Worries were multiplying like mosquitoes by the lake on a hot night. He pulled at her like no other man ever had, and yet he held so much of her life in his hands. Their balance was off. Maybe that was why she felt so out of sorts.

  She just needed to assert some of her independence again, that was all. Get home to her routines and back on solid, familiar ground. Maybe then the ache in her gut would fade, and she could get back to normal.

  Evelyn rubbed her arm. “I’m going to miss you, kiddo.”

  Kendall shook off the crazy reel of what-ifs and focused on her friend. “I’m going to miss you too.”

  “Never forget that job option is open to you. Bring your mom along too—maybe a fresh start would be best for everyone if that’s what happens.” The worry in Evelyn’s eyes oddly made Kendall feel better.

  “You’re good people, Evelyn.”

  “Don’t let it get around, kid.”

  She made a cross over her heart. “You got it.”

  “IF YOU EVER need a reference, you’ve got one. This exceeded my expectations by miles, Shane.”

  The pride he understood, but the aftershock of restlessness made his shoulders feel heavy and tight. He’d worked his ass off to finish this project. Hell, he’d poured more of himself into this one job than he had in years. But it wasn’t for Doyle. It wasn’t even for the pride of a job well done.

  His gaze slid to Kendall and Evelyn in the shade of the stables at the end of the building, and his shoulders eased. It had been a good-bye, he realized. That was his future right there. That pocket of sunshine that was Kendall. Not another job like this, not another project that utilized years of knowledge and yet left him strangely unsatisfied.

  It was the excitement of what he’d find with her.

  He was anxious to start something new for the first time in years. The only thing he’d taken enjoyment in was his furniture making, but now he had a glimpse of more than sawdust and a cedar-soaked basement to find happiness in.

  Maybe he had so much more to look forward to.

  He turned to Doyle. “I appreciate that, but this is my last job.”

  “It’s a waste of pure talent. You were born to lead men.” Doyle followed his gaze. “I can see why you’d want to change your life, but don’t forget that lust doesn’t put food on the table.”

  Shane tucked his thumbs under his arms. No, it certainly didn’t. “I’m starting my own business.”

  “But you just said you were hanging it up.”

  Shane shrugged. “Not quite. You like the tack boxes and carvings?”

  Startled, Doyle looked around at the extras Shane had added to the stables. “You did that?”

  He’d made the additions on his own. “Yes.”

  “Well, hell, boy. I thought those were bought by my first foreman.” Doyle smoothed his palm across the careful etching outside one of the stalls. Shane had framed in rosettes at the corners of the iron bars on the upper part of the stall windows. Again he’d used the torch to warm the cool white pine. Just a little something extra. Something that was just him.

  Doyle wandered to the tack boxes he’d built out of leftover pine and materials. He’d built ten to be shared between the twenty stalls.

  It felt like his stamp was finally on something lasting. He’d crafted buildings for use. Office buildings and houses were built to someone else’s specifications. He’d made them look exactly like what the blueprints had called for. Nothing of him remained besides a solid structure.

  And for a long time that was enough. But he wanted more. He wanted to leave a mark. Had it taken losing Larry to realize that? He’d been adopted into his name, into his business, into his family, but Shane had never really made anything that was just him. Not until he’d toyed with his furniture business on the side.

  Not until now, when he’d had the urge to leave something of himself behind. Ever since he’d started this job, things had felt just a little bit off. He and Kendall were out of sync, and he wasn’t quite sure how to get them back on track. And if he was going to have a sleepless night, at least it would include something that soothed him. Woodworking had always soothed him. Now he had Kendall to add to that list.

  The fact that it was a painfully short list was starting to bother him.

  Doyle returned to stand in front of him. “You can be sure that I’ll be the envy of every horseman in the area. I have you to thank for that.”

  “You had the perfect setup. All I did was finalize the work.”

  “You did much more than that, but we won’t get all mushy about it.” Doyle handed him an envelope.

  Shane tucked it into his back pocket without looking at the amount. He held out his hand. “It’s been a pleasure.”

  Doyle shook it. “If you ever need anything, you have but to ask.”

  Shane smiled. “I’ll remember that,
sir.”

  “Are you sure you won’t stay for dinner before you get on the road?”

  Shane looked back at Kendall one last time. “We need to get to New York. She’s been gone too long.” And he was anxious to get on with living and finding something permanent.

  “Takes a brave man to uproot everything and follow a woman.”

  It would take far too much time to explain their crazy situation. “We’re partners,” he said instead. It felt right to say that and mean it for the first time.

  “Well, how about I have Lucinda make you up a basket. At least you can refill when you’re on the road.”

  “I’d appreciate that.”

  Doyle clapped him on the shoulder. “Good luck, son.”

  “Thanks. I think I’m going to need it.”

  Doyle’s mustache fluttered with a gusty laugh. “I think you’re right.”

  Shane followed the women’s voices and paused. It struck him at the oddest times how much he was drawn to her. She was beautiful, there was no doubt about that, but he’d gone out with plenty of beautiful women. None of them reached under his breastbone and shoved his heart up into his throat like Kendall did.

  Half the time he couldn’t talk around that fucking lump. The rest of the time he just wanted her mouth on his. Her skin against his mouth and that throaty hum of satisfaction she made filling the air. It had been days since he’d touched her.

  And he couldn’t even explain why. Sure he was busy, but on the downtimes, he’d lost himself in woodworking until he was too blurry to see the numbers on a measuring tape. His body ached for her, and his brain was in overdrive. The endgame of New York was more like a beacon of the future now. And he didn’t know how he felt about that.

  Was he just trading one life for another? Did he really want to mold himself around another person’s dream again? When he’d first learned about the Heron, he’d been hell-bent on figuring out a way to get out from under the partnership.

  Now…he didn’t know what he was feeling.

  When Kendall was near him, all he could think about was keeping her right there with him. That was the only thing he seemed to be able to define. He wanted Kendall.

  He walked up to the women, invading Kendall’s space to see what she’d do in front of someone else. She slid herself into his body, locking into that perfect puzzle-piece snap they seemed to do unconsciously.

  He looped his arm around her hip. “Almost ready to go?”

  “We just need to pack up our things.”

  “I’m all packed. My bags are at the main house.”

  “I’m going to miss you, kiddo. You were a better stable hand than half of my staff,” Evelyn said.

  Kendall lit up, her smile wide and sparkling. Even beamed at someone else, he felt the punch. He curled his fingers into her soft corduroy pants. She dropped her hand behind her and squeezed his thigh briefly before stepping forward to embrace the older woman.

  “I can’t thank you enough for teaching me all about the horses. The minute I can afford one, I’ll be adding one to my roster of animals.”

  Surprised, he lifted an eyebrow. “Just how many animals do you have?”

  Kendall grinned up at him. “It’s quite the assortment of dogs, cats, and we even have a den of foxes that has made themselves at home. Not to mention the herons all over the marshy part of the lake.”

  “Those aren’t exactly pets.”

  “You tell that to Pete.” She laughed when his eyebrow spiked. “Pete’s been around so long I don’t even know how old he is. He’s the reason I named the B and B the Heron.”

  “Huh.”

  She turned to Evelyn. “I’ve got your e-mail, phone number, and address. We’ll keep in touch.”

  “You damn well better. I don’t like to talk to most of the people around here. You, I like.”

  “The feeling is entirely mutual.”

  Kendall slid her hand into his, and they walked companionably into the waning sunshine. It might feel like it was a mild fall day, but in reality, November was creeping away, and the days were much shorter. She leaned into him, stopping to look out on the fields.

  “I’m going to miss this place.”

  Shane drew her in front of him. The air was crisp and fresh, and the sweet scent of hay and sawdust eased him. “I will too.” He rubbed his chin over the top of her head. “Got a view like this in New York?”

  She sighed. “It’s not so gold. The Adirondacks are alive with all sorts of autumnal colors. Where I am tends to bring in the purples and deep reds to add to the cool colors of the evergreens. And the mountains are right in my backyard.”

  He settled his hand on her shoulder and rubbed light circles along her nape. “Sounds beautiful.”

  “It really is.”

  Before he could question her more about Bradley, she turned and grabbed his hand, drawing him forward. “I think we should find a shady spot a few miles away so I can get reacquainted with the truck.”

  “The truck, huh?”

  “Of course, the truck.” She grinned over her shoulder and took off in a loping sprint. He let her get ahead, enjoying her athletic grace before he jogged after her. The trill of her happy laugh filled the air as the sun set on the horizon.

  * * * *

  Shane loaded the last of their bags in the truck bed and a box of sandwiches and drinks in the small compartment behind their seat. Kendall had stayed at the house more than he did, so her good-byes took longer as she enveloped half a dozen women into individual hugs.

  Christ, she hadn’t hugged him as much as these near strangers were getting.

  Actually, in a span of time, he was almost the same level of stranger as these people were. He and Kendall had been at the Doyle Ranch for five days.

  Fuck.

  He tightened his grip on the frame of the truck bed with impatience. He was too tired to be thinking about this shit. His muscles felt like overcooked spaghetti, and his head was in the clouds. If he were smart, he’d take Doyle up on the good night’s rest, but the thought of staying another night had him itchy. And he could tell Kendall wanted to get on the road just as much.

  She finally backed up with a swipe at her cheeks. Now he felt like shit. She’d been a good sport about everything. Not complaining, being flexible to whatever they’d needed on the trip. He just wanted to move forward.

  To get started on whatever waited for them in Bradley.

  Kendall looked up at him with starred eyelashes and a watery smile. He opened her door for her and tugged on the messy braid she perpetually wore. She patted his chest. “Ready to get on the road, Oscar?”

  “Very.”

  She stepped up on the running board and brushed her chest against his; then her mouth hovered near his for a moment before she climbed inside. He closed his eyes. He missed having her near him like that. Even if it had been a banishment of his own making.

  He shut the door and waved to everyone, then climbed in himself. They were quiet on the rutted road that led to the smooth asphalt on the edge of the property. She had her phone out again, taking one last picture of the landscape before the main road.

  She looked over her shoulder, eyes still a little watery, but excitement gleamed under the sad. “Where to next?”

  “Looks like Colorado is in our future.”

  She dug into her trusty knapsack and hauled out a huge notebook with tabs and thick pages.

  “Do I want to know?”

  “Well, since we’re now not able to make the stops we were before—thank you, muffler of destruction on the highway—I figured it would be a good idea to keep a notebook of what I want to see someday.” She smoothed out the pages as she turned them. She looked up at him. “What? I had a lot of time to myself at the main house and a ten-year-old to entertain.”

  He frowned. “I didn’t know you were doing that.”

  She shrugged. “It wasn’t a big deal.” The Red Rock Canyon and a snow-filled scene with a luxurious lodge flashed by with each page she flipped
.

  He flexed his fingers on the steering wheel as he pictured her cutting and pasting a notebook of somedays. Why did that bug him? It wasn’t his job to give her all those someday trips.

  But dammit, part of him wanted to do a leisurely trip to some mountain resort. He wanted to lay her out on an over-the-top expensive bed with the Colorado Rockies as a backdrop and watch her dark eyes go blind for him. He wanted to feel her clasping arms and legs and warmth surround him.

  But all he had was this truck and an uncertain future in Bradley to give her. It didn’t seem like much in the grand scheme of things.

  “Where would you go first?”

  He looked at her sharply. “Me?”

  “Yes, you, Oscar. We’ve been talking about what I’d do, where I’d like to see, but not about you.”

  “I’ve been a lot of places, Sunshine.”

  “So there’s nowhere else you want to go?”

  “I still haven’t been to England, Ireland, or Scotland.”

  “How come?”

  “Not much surfing to do there.”

  She laughed and tucked herself into her comfortable corner. He’d see her in the corner of the cab of his truck forever because of this trip. “I’m trying to picture you in a wet suit.”

  “Kain and I haven’t had much time to do the surfing trips we used to do, but when we were in college, we went everywhere. Australia and Hawaii had the best surf besides California.”

  “I think I’ll have to add Hawaii to my notebook here.”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever been anywhere that was so lush and perfect at the same time.”

  She pressed her notebook against her chest and folded her arms over it, her eyes bright and interested. “You went because of Kain?”

  “His family’s from there, and he had to make the yearly trek home to see his mother. I tagged along a few times.”

  “I can’t imagine just jumping on a plane and going to paradise.”

  He’d been able to do a lot of things thanks to Larry. And yet Larry had left Kendall alone with her mother. He still couldn’t reconcile that man with the father who had been so generous with his time and love, not to mention his money. That part just never made sense.