Suspended

by Taryn Elliott

  “How’d you get a booth?”

  “There might have been snarling involved.”

  Bells flipped her thick red hair over her shoulder and quickly braided the end to keep it under control. She waved two fingers in the air at the waitress, and two Stellas landed on the table.

  It was good to be a regular.

  “Okay, spill it, sister. You have scruff burn on your neck, and you look miserable. Orgasms are supposed to end with sighs, not cries.”

  Kendall shook her head. “Knowing someone from second grade sucks sometimes.”

  Bells grinned and took a sip from her beer. “I’m jealous. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve even had a whiff of whisker burn?”

  “Three months.”

  She roared out a laugh, and a few people looked at them. Bells just shrugged and waved. “I wouldn’t count that. Maybe a mild case of accidental orgasms. And only if I moved my hips just right.”

  “You are so wrong.”

  Bells smirked. “I don’t wanna be right.” She slid her hands across the table and covered Kendall’s. “Enough with the witty banter. What’s going on, chica?”

  “I’m in love with Shane.”

  “Well, duh. I got that much.”

  “And he doesn’t love me back.”

  “Are you sure? Because I was getting the gigundo I’m-so-messed-up vibes from him.”

  “Just because he’s messed up doesn’t mean it’s over me. It might be the situation. It might be because he wants to start over in another town without me weighing him down.” She thought of Shane after they’d come together so furiously. Maybe it was just attraction, and he wanted to cut and run now that he saw what a future with her entailed. She couldn’t blame him.

  “And it might be that you’re both too afraid to say the L word.”

  “I… Well, maybe.”

  Bells tucked her chin on her hand. “Honey, there’s a reason I’m still single too. It’s hard to say those words. It’s supposed to be hard to say them. If they were easy, they wouldn’t mean anything.”

  “Did I actually call you here to be the voice of reason?”

  “Yep.”

  “I must be stupid.”

  Bells lifted her glass. “I’ll go with very, very smart.”

  Kendall let her head drop onto her folded arms. “You know that self-fulfilling-prophecy thing? Yeah. That’s me.”

  “Oh, my drama queen.”

  Kendall flashed her a middle finger.

  “Look, sweetie. You’ve been getting away scot-free with the male drama crap. You were bound to fall hard for someone sometime.”

  “But him?”

  “Of course it was going to be him. He’s a perfect match for you.”

  She lifted her head. “You don’t even know him.”

  “I know him through your eyes. I knew the first time you talked about him that he was going to be important to you in some way. It’s just how you work, Ken.”

  “He and his mom are the reason Lawrence left me and Mom.”

  “And how old was he when that happened?”

  Kendall shrugged. “Eight.”

  Bells rolled her eyes. “That’s not a valid reason for turning down the love of your life. You need to just say it.”

  “And if he laughs in my face?”

  The pizza—cheese and mushrooms well done—came to the table. They dug in without breaking stride. “Then you call me, and I’ll come beat his ass.”

  “I knew there was a reason I kept you around.”

  Bells lifted her piece of pizza over her head and slurped the excess cheese off. “Damn right.”

  An evening with Bells, pizza, and beer was pretty close to perfect. She still didn’t have any better answers, but her head didn’t feel like it was going to explode anymore. By the time she returned to the Heron, she was a little more even.

  She got out of her car and turned to look at the glowing light from the barn. Shane stood in the doorway, his shirt gone, his forearm over his head against the jamb. When she took a step forward, he backed away and closed the door.

  She swallowed against the hurt and climbed the stairs.

  * * * *

  “I don’t think we have nearly enough lights.”

  “No comments from the peanut gallery.”

  Kendall grinned at her mother as she wrapped another string of lights around the newel post and through the spindles. They’d finally finished with the cleaning that afternoon, and now it was all about decorating. Starting with the porch.

  The phone rang, and her mother pulled the cordless from her apron. “The Heron, this is Lily. How may I help you?”

  Her mother’s chatter faded into the background as she told whoever was on the phone about rates and the highlights of the bed-and-breakfast. Kendall wrestled with another string of lights, plugging it into the end she’d tucked under the railing, and moved her way down the porch.

  She looked out over the front of the property. Snow had been a constant in the forecast for the last few nights, and the fresh powder sprinkled a bit of fairy dust on the terrain. The new fences that Shane had put up were stained a deep walnut and popped against the picturesque blues and cool whites that blanketed the lake. The huge oak was sturdy and majestic.

  When had he trimmed the branches?

  “You need how many nights?”

  Kendall snapped back into the moment.

  “Absolutely. We’ve got a few rooms available. Mmm-hmm.” Her mother made happy little noises as she laughed with the caller.

  Relief unknotted the ball that had been sitting in her gut for so long she hadn’t even realized they were there. At this point, she’d welcome the fish smell in her kitchen. They needed income to keep the B and B running. They might own the house outright, but they still had to pay taxes and utilities.

  Her mother chatted for a few more minutes and disappeared inside to bang out the details of the visit. Kendall made her way around the back of the house.

  She could hear Shane using a saw. Soft plumes of steam billowed into the crisp air from the exhaust vent he’d set up. She squatted to line the lower rail and shake out her tired wrists. A twinge of soreness between her thighs reminded her of the furious lovemaking—no, not lovemaking. It had been sex. Pure, tension-breaking sex. No emotion, just the endgame of an orgasm for the both of them.

  An empty orgasm for her, and yet she’d initiated things between them, not him. Of course he’d take her up on it. A willing woman and they knew each other’s bodies well. Had she really thought that was going to be the answer to getting him to talk?

  “Kendall, you won’t believe it.”

  She stood with only the slightest wince. “What, Mom?”

  “That was an entire family. Their plans fell through with another B and B, and they saw our new Web site. I logged on to check to see what they were talking about. Why didn’t you tell me we had a new Web site?”

  Kendall snapped her brows together. “Shane mentioned he’d added some new pictures, but I haven’t gotten around to checking.” Evidently Shane had been very busy. The quick flare of hope made her smile. If he’d updated the Web site, maybe he wasn’t truly hell-bent on selling. “Wait, go back to the entire-family part.”

  “Oh, right.” Lily laughed and tucked her pencil behind her ear. “They need four rooms for the week of Christmas.”

  “Four?”

  Her mother nodded. “I know. I can’t believe it. Three couples and two teenage girls.”

  Relief and determination straightened her shoulders. Then she’d make sure it was the best damn Christmas. Her gaze drifted to the barn; then she focused back to the task at hand.

  At least this she could fix. “Well, then let’s make sure we wow them. Why don’t you go get the extra lights from the barn?”

  Her mother took the pencil from behind her ear and made a note on the small notebook she kept in her pocket. “I think you should go get them. I need to make up a menu.”

  The storm door shut
in her face, her mother already buried in planning. Kendall sagged. Maybe she could work with what she had. She gazed down at the two bundles at her feet and knew they wouldn’t make it around the other side of the wraparound porch.

  “You can do this, Kendall. He’s just a man.” She curled her fingers into her palms and made her way down the side steps. The crunch of snow under her boots sounded loud in the dense silence of the meadow behind the house.

  She made her way up the small hill to the barn. The back door was open, and the shriek of a skill saw greeted her. Shane had a navy thermal shirt on, the cuffs pushed back at his elbow. His back muscles bunched and flowed as he patiently worked the blade through a long board. A pile of similar cuts was stacked neatly against the wall.

  For the first time she got a look at what he’d truly done with the barn. He’d completely converted it into a work space. Steel shelves lined the back wall with bins organized by season, some labeled by her, some in what had to be his handwriting. Instead of rummaging into the Christmas corner like she usually did, all she had to do was go over and pull the Xmas decorations bin down.

  A sturdy wooden ladder led to the small loft that had been their catchall storage. A soft glow from a lamp illuminated the queen-size mattress on a low frame, her old college dorm fridge, and a table.

  He didn’t need to stay outside in the barn. She had perfectly good rooms for him inside the house. Although it was surprisingly warm and cozy in a rustic way. Under the loft there were stacks of chairs, the skeleton of an eight-foot table, as well as a cart full of stains and sandpaper blocks.

  Shane dominated the space in the middle, working through strip upon strip of the unusual Hawaiian wood.

  Of course that meant she had to walk by him. She took a steadying breath and lifted her chin. This was just as much her space as it was his. She made a beeline for the wall of shelves and stood on her tiptoes. She managed to only jimmy the decorations bin out a few inches.

  Dammit, she was too short.

  She looked for a ladder, spotting it by the door. The scrape of the bin coming off the shelf made her whirl around.

  Shane stood behind her, holding it. “Where do you want it?”

  She grabbed for the handles. “I can carry it.”

  He looked down at her, his eyes more green than hazel today. “Where do you want it?”

  Unwilling to argue, she shrugged. “The porch.”

  He left without a word, and she sneered at his back. She followed him outside and across the yard to the stairs. “Thanks.”

  “No problem.” Instead of going back to the barn, he walked the length of the porch, his arms crossed over his chest. “Looks good.”

  Was he actually making conversation? “Um, thanks. We’re getting ready for some guests.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “I think we have you to thank. Evidently the updated the Web site worked.”

  He jammed his hands into his pockets. “When I went on the computer in the den, it was already signed into your design page. I just took a few pictures of the improvements and the lake after the snowstorm. It’s pretty as a postcard when there’s a foot of snow on the ground.”

  She stiffened. She’d thought the same thing, but hearing him say it the same way rankled. The Heron might not be perfect, but it had a lot of charm. She swallowed back a snotty response. “Well, whatever you did netted us a four-room booking.”

  “Nice. Do you need anything done before they come?”

  She rubbed the heel of her hand against her thigh. “I need to go into town and get a Christmas tree. It’d be easier to throw it in the back of your truck.”

  “Let me just clean up, and we’ll go.”

  The easy acquiescence surprised her. “Great. Thanks.”

  “I need to get a few things anyway.”

  The quick flash of disappointment pissed her off. She pasted on a bright smile. “I’ll see if Mom needs anything.”

  “Lily always needs something from town.”

  She gave a quick laugh. “Ain’t that the truth.” Kendall crouched, forgetting just how sore she still was. She sucked back a hiss of pain as she flipped the top off the bin.

  He frowned down at her. “You all right?”

  “Fine. Just been doing a lot of crawling around today.”

  He reached into the bin and unearthed a half dozen cardboard pieces wrapped in lights. “Why don’t we go get the tree, and I’ll help you with the lights.”

  “You don’t need to do that. You look like you’re in the middle of a project.”

  “It can wait. The Heron is my first priority.”

  “All right.” She stood and put a hand on the rail. “I’m too sore to say no.”

  He moved in closer. “Are you sore from working on the porch or from what we did yesterday?” His gaze was steady on her face. “Did I hurt you?”

  “No, Shane.” She looked away from his too-intense stare. “You didn’t hurt me.” Not physically.

  He tipped up her chin so she’d meet his gaze. “Don’t lie to me.”

  She jerked out of his hold and backed up. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

  He caught her wrist, drawing her back into his personal space. He traced a thumb along a lock of hair that had slipped from her French braid. “I was wrong to do that yesterday.”

  She looked out over the water. She didn’t want to know he’d regretted touching her.

  “Kendall.”

  Sunshine.

  Not Sunshine. The sharp longing stabbed her in the chest. God, she missed him. Missed his touch, missed his gruff voice and dry humor. Making sure all the things she craved didn’t show on her face, she put on her easy smile. “It’s fine, Shane. Yesterday was just two people scratching an itch.” She shrugged carelessly. “Just fucking, right?”

  A muscle in his jaw rippled, and he dropped her hand. “As long as we have that straight. I’ll go get my keys.”

  She rubbed weary eyes and went inside for her purse. “Mom,” she called out. “We’re heading into town. Got a grocery list?”

  Lily came around the corner, a sheet in her hand. “Just a few things. We’ll need to do a big order for the guests later in the week.” She stopped in front of Kendall. “Are you all right?”

  “Yes.” She took the list.

  “Don’t take that tone with me, young lady.”

  Kendall clamped her jaw tight and went to the sink. She stuffed the list in her purse, then opened the cupboard and shook out a few ibuprofens. She filled a glass of water from the tap and swallowed it down in greedy gulps, hoping she could get rid of the anger with her thirst.

  She stared out the window. “I’m sorry, Mom. I’m just tired.”

  “If by tired you mean lovesick, then yes.”

  “Mom, please.”

  “Have you tried to talk to him?”

  “Can we not do this now? I’ve got to go.”

  “Go on, then.”

  Kendall fled, meeting Shane at the truck. She got in without a word and studied the landscape. She noticed more than just the front fence had been fixed. A rough-hewn bench had been added next to the water. “Did you use the lumber from the old fences to make that bench?”

  “Yes. Some of it was still good to use.”

  “I appreciate it.”

  “It’s practical to repurpose the wood. The trails are a nice walk and good for snowmobiles. I figured it was a good spot to sit and look out at the water.”

  Was he doing it to make the Heron more beautiful for guests or to make it more appealing to a buyer? Hadn’t he said that the land was worth more than the operating of the B and B?

  Maybe he was actually starting to see what she did. She turned to him. “You’re starting to think like an innkeeper.”

  “Until we put this place on the market, my name’s on the business too. So is my reputation.”

  She looked back out the window. “Of course.” And she needed to remember that.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Shane put t
he truck into park. A good crowd of people was shuffling through the little corner lot of staked trees. He followed Kendall into the back of the lot.

  “What size are we getting?”

  “Eight foot minimum.”

  “Eight?”

  She glanced over her shoulder. “We put it in the main living space.”

  Seemed like a damn big tree for the space, but it was her call. She wove between the trees as if she had an idea in mind but wasn’t finding just what she wanted.

  “Heya, Ken.”

  An easy and bright smile transformed her face and sucker punched him. “Hi, Brandon.”

  Christ. She used to smile at him like that. He jammed his hands into the pockets of his bomber jacket.

  “I’ve got a few of those blue spruces you like so much. I held a big one over here.”

  He bet the guy did. Shane trudged through the muddy snow after her.

  She hooked her arm through Brandon’s. “Oh, that’s perfect.”

  Brandon patted her hand. “I thought you might like it.”

  Shane stood with his feet apart, his thighs quivering with the full-body clench. He didn’t have any right to get pissed, but he didn’t like anyone else touching her.

  “I’m sorry; evidently I left my manners in the truck. Brandon, this is Shane. Shane, Brandon.”

  Shane held out his hand, and their handshake was firm. Brandon sized him up; his friendly blue eyes held an edge. Had Brandon and Kendall been an item?

  Why the fuck did he care?

  He stuffed his hand back into his pocket. She chattered away, asked the guy about his dog, his mother, his sister, and his goddamned nieces and nephews. Names flew out of her mouth.

  Small town-ese and the easy familiarity of knowing someone most of her life left him on the sidelines.

  He’d lived in Monterey for twenty-two years, and he didn’t know two of his neighbors. He wouldn’t be surprised to find out that Kendall knew the entire town of Bradley.

  Five minutes later the spruce was on the bed of his truck. She stopped at the edges of the displays. “Do you have any wreaths left?”