Suspended

by Taryn Elliott

  “Anyway, there I was ready to do damage, and he lifts me right off the chair and kisses me. Not just any kiss. The perfect kiss. The kind with just the right amount of tongue and lips and heat. A kiss to friggin’ end all kisses.”

  “Sounds like my kind of kiss.”

  “No, that’s not the kind of kiss I want from a man who just puts me down like it didn’t matter one bit. Like he kisses every woman like that.”

  Kendall winced. “I’m sorry, Bells.”

  Her best friend sagged against the door leading to the porch. “I’ve kissed a lot of guys. Some have been almost there. Some I’ve even thought knew how to kiss perfectly. But Kain leaves them all in the dust.”

  “So what are you going to do about it?”

  “Ignore him.”

  “Belinda Grayson.”

  “Hey, he’s going to get on his fancy jet and head back to California. I don’t need bicoastal grief in my life.”

  Kendall hugged her. “I’m sorry you had to find the killer kiss in someone who’s not amazing enough to figure out it was magic.”

  Bells shrugged and pulled back. “The only thing that sucks is I can’t kiss anyone for a long time. They’re all going to pale in comparison until I put it out of my mind.”

  Bells was a serial dater. She didn’t often let it go beyond a few steamy kisses, and she was a fountain of information about dating, but she was rarely without male companionship.

  “I feel like I should say I’m sorry again. He’s a friend of mine.”

  “I won’t hold it against you. Especially if you give me details on the part about Shane holding you down.”

  “What more do you need?”

  “I’m usually too much of a control freak to let a guy hold me down. I don’t know if that turns me on or if I’d freak out and deck the guy.”

  “I went with turned on. Triple time.”

  Bells groaned. “You are a bad woman. Very bad, and I’m very proud of you. But I gotta get out of here and shower off all the humanity that manhandled me at New Year’s.”

  “Happy New Year, Bells.”

  “Ditto, Ken.”

  After walking Bells to the door, she searched out her mother. Lily was in a small circle of friends, so she just stopped in and kissed her cheek and wished the group a Happy New Year.

  She showed people out and collected keys from a few who were well beyond the sober status. Luckily everyone found a ride home with friends and neighbors.

  When the final guest was tucked upstairs and Lily had gone to find her bed, she changed into jeans and a sweater before she headed to the workshop.

  Expecting to find the guys sitting around one of Shane’s tables, she was surprised to see the room was empty. She heard dull thuds and followed the sounds to the back of the barn. Shane held the heavy canvas bag as Kain pummeled it with vicious, bare-knuckled jabs.

  Kain’s shirt was off, and sweat beaded on his skin, sparkling under the bright three-quarter moon. His chest was smooth, and a tribal tattoo covered one pec. She couldn’t catch the details in the dark, but it was large, black, and detailed.

  “Everything okay here?”

  Shane turned around, holding the bag with his back. “Kain’s had a rough week. Figured bloodying his knuckles would help a little bit.”

  “Is it working?”

  Kain increased his blows. “If you see Shane without a bruise or fat lip by morning, it worked.”

  “Is frustration part of this equation?” she asked sweetly.

  Shane stumbled forward at the one-two combo. “Do you still have an open room at the main house?”

  “That’s what I came over to tell you. Kain can stay in the Navy Room when he goes down for the count.”

  “Thanks, babe.”

  She frowned at Kain one last time and waved. Tired didn’t even cover it. She was ready to pull her blankets up to her chin and blink out.

  * * * *

  The next morning was pure chaos. The Simmons family was heading out, as were the older couple who had shown up midweek. Kain was gone before she’d gotten up. His room was barely disturbed, but there was a depression in the pillow to let her know he’d at least attempted sleep.

  Not to mention an envelope with far too much money in it inside her drop box at the main desk. Triple her nightly stay rate along with a note telling her if she was going to be stubborn about the money, to send the rest to charity.

  She wasn’t quite as prideful as Shane and happily added it to the receipts. The next few weeks would be light. People were recovering from the holidays and didn’t have the extra money to stay at a B and B.

  It was well after two by the time all the cars finally left. She and her mother sagged to the kitchen table.

  “Were there bribes on that Web site? How on earth did we get so many people in here at the last minute?”

  “That’s a very good question.” Kendall stood and pulled out her laptop. She’d brought it down from her room days ago to check the site, but their guests kept her so busy she hadn’t been able to actually open the stupid thing.

  “What’s the story with Kain and Bells?”

  Kendall slid a glance at her mother. “Evidently he kissed the stuffing out of her, and instead of enjoying the moment, Bells got pissed off.”

  “I would have enjoyed it.”

  “Mom!”

  “I’m not dead, Kendall. He’s hot.”

  “Were you hanging out with Micah and Abby?”

  Her mother chuckled. “Those girls reminded me of you and Bells when you were younger.”

  “We didn’t have that kind of eye candy.”

  “No, but you both would chatter about rock stars and actors with the same exuberance. Besides, you don’t need to do the big sighs. You have your very own man now.”

  Kendall shifted restlessly in her chair and focused on the computer booting up. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “I’ve noticed this thing going on between you and Shane. So has everyone else. And if I hadn’t known about it before, that kiss on New Year’s set the entire town on fire.”

  “Oh, for God’s sakes. Don’t people have other things to talk about?”

  “Not really.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “I’m sure some of it isn’t.”

  Kendall’s eyes widened. “Are you serious with this?”

  Lily shrugged. “I’m here to talk if you need to.”

  Relieved that her mother didn’t seem to have anything else to add, she brought up the site. The entire top of the site was transformed into a winter landscape that would do a Hallmark card proud. The angle of the picture invited a visitor into the Web site, and the gallery showed all the new things Shane had added as well as updated photos that were a helluva lot more high quality than she’d been able to take with her camera.

  The rest of the information lay untouched, but the few changes were perfect. He really had come in and taken over in tiny ways. Not enough for her or her mother to take notice, but on the whole he’d done nothing but improve the Heron.

  He’d also added links to travel sites that now had them listed on their registries. That must have been how the Simmonses had found them.

  “Can I check my e-mail?”

  Kendall nodded at her mother’s request and stood. “I’m going to go find Shane.”

  “Okay. I’m going to run a couple loads of laundry and relax. We’ve got time before we have to pull all the rooms apart.”

  Kendall went out the back door and across the lawn before she noticed his truck was gone. Instead of returning inside, she brewed a mug of coffee from his Keurig, touched to see her flavored coffees in his stack of K-Cups, and brought it out to sit on the Adirondack chair.

  She curled into an oversize blanket from the small chest he’d built next to the pergola. The lake was too large to fully ice over, but this part of the inlet was good for fishing. Petey, ever the opportunist, swooped in and perched at the end of the dock. His blue and silvery feathers
ruffled a few times before he folded his massive wings against his back.

  She wasn’t sure how long she was out there when she heard booted footfalls.

  Shane crouched next to her. “Nice to see you actually sitting for a change.” He leaned in, and it felt natural to lose herself in his sweet kiss. “At least the flavored crap you like tastes good this way.”

  Chuckling, she held out her empty mug. “It would taste even better with a refill.”

  “Only because I want a cup too.”

  She looked over her shoulder at his truly excellent backside, then cuddled back into her blanket. He returned a few minutes later and scooped her out of the chair. “Hey! I was all comfy.”

  He sat back down with her on his lap, and she situated herself, noticing the chair was indeed a little bigger than the average Adirondack chair. Not quite big enough for two, but he must have had this in mind when building it.

  The warm glow she’d been riding since last night grew.

  He set her mug in her hands, and both of them sat quietly. She didn’t realize she’d been looking for this all her life.

  Chapter Twenty

  Kendall dragged the two winterized loungers in next to the swing and her favorite chair to tarp against the wind coming off the lake. The forecast called for a hammer of a nor’easter, and she didn’t want them damaged in the icy mix that was headed their way.

  She heard the pop of tires over gravel and snapped her last bungee cord around the chairs, securing them to the pergola. The truck wasn’t one she recognized. Shane was out of town delivering the huge koa dining set he’d finally finished and wouldn’t be back until morning.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi.” Kendall jogged to the end of the dock. “Can I help you?”

  The man held out his hand. Kind brown eyes smiled down at her. “I’m Andrew Clark. A Shane Justice asked me to come out and survey the land for an appraisal.”

  The shock of his statement had her hand falling limply from his grasp. The wind picked up, slapping a gust along her back. “Of course. I didn’t know you were coming.”

  “I actually wasn’t due to come until next week, but I was in the area and hoped to get it out of the way if that was okay with you.”

  “Sure.” It felt like she was talking through half-frozen molasses. “Let me grab my jacket.” She walked woodenly to the main house. She and Shane had been getting along so well. The last week had been a dream—loving Shane through the night, both of them working on individual projects during the day.

  She’d even updated one of the bathrooms thanks to Kain’s generous tip. There had been no more talk of selling the Heron.

  “Kendall?” Her mother rushed forward. “What’s wrong?”

  “I…I can’t talk about it. I have to go outside and take the appraiser around the property.”

  “Appraiser? What for?”

  “Evidently Shane’s still interested in selling.”

  Lily shook her head firmly. “No. He’s worked too hard on everything to just sell it. We’ve worked too hard to sell it now.”

  The numbness coated her chest and flowed out until all she could think about was how cold she was. “I was wrong.” How could she have been so clueless? She’d thought they were working toward building a life at the Heron.

  She’d told him she loved him.

  But he hadn’t said it back, had he? He’d taken her in that rough, possessive way that had been a part of Shane since they met. But he’d never said the words.

  Kendall took her Carhartt jacket off the peg and pulled on her snow boots, gloves, and hat without thinking about matching. Just getting warm. She forced on a smile and met Mr. Clark at the end of the driveway.

  “Are you appraising the house as well?”

  “No, just the land for now. Mr. Justice wanted to see what the land was worth.”

  “The property is worth more than this entire operation, so you’re damn right I want to sell. I will be selling.”

  The memory of Shane’s words slapped at her.

  “Right. Well, let’s go see the property line.”

  “I have the town plans, but I need to make sure there are no issues. I’ll take some soil and water samples for a few tests and walk the property line.”

  She nodded.

  “You don’t need to come along if you have things to do.”

  “No, that’s fine. I’d like to go with you.” She needed to walk the paths and see for herself just what the Heron was worth. Since obviously that was the only thing Shane really cared about.

  She’d know every detail.

  * * * *

  Later that night, with her hands around her third cup of tea, she stared out at the icicles forming off the eaves. The ice storm had come in with a vengeance, encrusting the steps, the drive, the dock—everything—in a hard shell of ice.

  There was nothing to do but sit and wait for it to stop.

  Mr. Clark had told her he would get back to them in a few days with the information.

  A few days to know what her heart was worth.

  “Honey, come sit down.”

  “I think I’m just going to go up and try to get some sleep.”

  “You don’t know what Shane’s thinking. Wait until tomorrow to think the worst of things.”

  Wait until tomorrow? Her brain hadn’t stopped whirling since the appraiser had shown up. “We have options. Maybe if we sell this place, we can move out to Utah. It really was the most beautiful place I’d ever seen besides Bradley.”

  “Kendall…”

  She turned to her mother and set her mug down. “We could start over. Find a new place. Hell, the prices outside New York are amazingly different. We could probably buy a bigger place for half the money in Utah.”

  Lily stood and pulled Kendall into her arms. Kendall just stood there with her arms at her sides. She didn’t want her mother’s comfort. What she needed to do was figure out a plan. Kendall slipped away from her mother and picked up her cell.

  “I have a friend in Utah. I should call her. See if the offer still stands to come out there and live.”

  “Kendall, you’re not making any sense. Our friends are here. Why would we leave? Why don’t you just call Shane and ask him?”

  “I’ll talk to him when he comes ho—when he gets back tomorrow.”

  “There are a million reasons to do an appraisal. You can’t make assumptions.”

  “The property is worth more than this entire operation, so you’re damn right I want to sell. I will be selling.”

  Kendall stopped, meeting her mother’s gaze. “Because he said it. I just didn’t choose to believe him.”

  “Are you sure?”

  How many times had that same line screamed in her head today?

  “The property is worth more than this entire operation, so you’re damn right I want to sell. I will be selling.”

  “I can’t be here. I don’t know how you stayed here after Lawrence left. How could you stand to be in the same places, see the same spots after loving him?” She slapped her hands over her mouth and saw the stricken look on her mother’s face. “I’m sorry, Mom. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”

  Lily blinked back a sheen of tears and sank onto the couch. “Because I loved your father more than he loved me. I didn’t have those kinds of memories. I made a home for Larry and tried to make this house perfect so he wouldn’t leave. I held on to him so tightly that I drove him away.”

  Kendall pushed away her own pain and locked it into a box. She was good at stuffing her emotions in boxes when she needed to. She sat next to her mother and curled an arm around her shoulders.

  “You never ask about Lawrence, so I just never talk about him.” Lily’s voice broke.

  “Anytime I asked when I was little, you would cry. I hated to see you cry.” She pressed her cheek to her mother’s. The familiar scent of lavender and vanilla closed around her.

  “Knowing a man doesn’t love you back is the worst feeling in the wor
ld.”

  Her mother’s whispered statement left Kendall raw. She had to agree. Funny how the next generation of Justice would shred the heart of yet another Proctor. Evidently the men were kryptonite to Proctor women.

  “I knew he was seeing someone. I felt him pulling away from me when you were really little. He stayed for you, you know. I got five years with Larry because you were the light of his life.”

  Kendall’s eyes burned. “Then why did he leave me without a backward glance? Why did he leave us?”

  “He fell in love with Shane’s mother. I didn’t know her name, but from what I pieced together, it had to be her. I broke them up, you know? For two years he tried to stay here, and I naively thought having his baby would be enough of a hold. I even tried to have another one, but he was careful. I told him that if he left, he’d have to leave you too. I don’t even recognize the woman I was then. I’d have done anything to get him to stay.”

  “Oh, Mom.” Kendall looked down as the first drops of tears splashed against her hand. Lily had loved her father so much. Maybe too much.

  “I’m sorry I took him away from you too. Part of our problem had always been how prideful Larry and I both were. Even when I wanted to let you back into his life. When I got over my own stupidity and contacted him, it was too late.”

  “He didn’t want me?” Kendall’s chest ached. How much was one fragile organ supposed to take in one day?

  “No, honey. He did, but his wife got sick. He had to worry about her, and time just slid by. We both agreed that it was best to leave well enough alone.”

  He’d actually wanted her? Kendall stood. All this time she’d thought her father had simply walked away. “You made the decision for me? Don’t you think I should have been in on that kind of discussion?”

  “You didn’t want to talk about him. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

  Kendall pushed her hair back. She searched for anger, for regret, but she couldn’t find either. Her mother had made a good life for her. A few conversations she and Shane had on the road trip finally made sense. Her father still had chosen Shane’s mother over his own daughter. But if Lily was telling the truth, she hadn’t given Lawrence much choice in the matter.

  She tried to reconcile the desperate and unreasonable woman her mother described and the mother she’d known all her life. Lily was bright and warm and sweet to everyone she met, but she rarely interacted with men. Kendall dashed away tears. “I understand. I wish you had found someone else instead of pining for Lawrence.”